A/N: Thank you very much to my first reviewer, FadingEmotion! The first half of this chapter is Renesmee and at the line break, it switches to Jacob.
"Ness," his voice was deep and anguished. "You have been through a lot and I know you want that and I do too, but I want us to work through this first. I'm not going anywhere." I pouted a little, to which he laughed for the first time this morning and kissed my cheek gently.
I was frustrated that he wouldn't kiss me, but so eager to see the light return to his eyes. I felt like we were coming out of the cave now and even if the light was miles and miles away, we were at least facing the right direction and moving forward.
"Now," he said in a responsible tone. "What can we do about your- uh- injuries? Have you been checked out anywhere?" I shook my head and leaned into him further, desperate to avoid what would be a lengthy examination. He sighed and gave me a reassuring squeeze. "I really think you should go see Carlisle, honey."
I flinched at the thought of my family finding out. I knew it was probably inevitable, but it was like everything happening all over again. The logic was sound- Carlisle would be able to reasonably assess my injuries unlike a normal doctor. I nodded infinitesimally and Jacob turned on the car, pulling onto the road. I instinctively grabbed his arm in fear, "You'll stay with me though, right?"
He leaned over to kiss my forehead quickly, still watching the road. "If that's what you want, Ness. I'm never leaving you again." He gave a dry laugh that resonated in my chest. "Believe me, honey, you're going to get sick of me and the nonstop hovering I have planned."
I laughed too and it felt staggeringly good to have hope. "I want you and your hovering. Forever." I realized the weight of my words as they left my mouth, but it didn't change how I felt. I wanted him always, no matter what, forever.
That epiphany filled me up and I was floored by how it could momentarily override the festering pain and anxiety. It enveloped every part of my being and I felt dizzy with its potency; I loved Jacob. It was a fact I accepted maybe since I first saw him, but I never truly appreciated the depths of that love as much as I did in this moment. It was the all-consuming kind of love with enough power to offer me solace at the lowest point in my life, to dull the searing pain in my heart and one day maybe even extinguish it.
We didn't speak for the rest of the ride to my house, but his every movement was tender and radiated his love for me. I struggled to maintain my steady breathing as we pulled up to the garage and Aunt Rose was bent beside her BMW with a wrench in her hand. Jake idled about 100 yards from the entrance, giving me a minute to prepare myself. Rosalie looked up and scowled at Jacob per usual.
He cut the engine and turned to me. His posture portrayed his nerves but his voice was strong and sure, "Together, okay?" I brushed a hand along the side of his face and he leaned into it, kissing my fingers. Aunt Rose hissed, from impatience or disapproval I didn't know, but I turned anyway and slid out of the car. My legs felt like jello so I was grateful when Jake hurried around to my side and secured an arm around me, basically holding me up.
Rosalie was glaring fiercely at us as we approached. I just sighed in anticipation and whispered, "Inside Aunt Rose, please."
Her confident sneer dropped and she flitted toward us to better inspect me, appraising my awkward gait and probably anguished expression. She stopped Jake in his tracks with a firm hand on his chest, "What did you do to her, dog?"
I winced at the accusation and her eyes widened, a snarl escaping her. "Please, Aunt Rose. Jake didn't- I was- just please." She was practically shaking in anger, but I saw her hardened eyes melt at my words and she stalked off toward the house.
When we made it inside, I saw six sets of golden eyes on me with varying degrees of suspicion, concern and anger. I chose to address my grandfather, who mostly just seemed worried. "Can we- uh- discuss this in the dining room, please?" His eyebrows rose in surprise but he immediately motioned for everyone to follow.
He set at the head chair on one end, with Grandma immediately to his right. My Aunt Rose flitted to his left and took the seat between us, Jake sliding his chair on my left until it was practically touching mine. Uncle Emmett sat directly across from me and his usual upbeat expression was clouded with stress. Aunt Alice sat next to him, with Jasper beside her at the other table head. It was the first time I looked at him directly since I walked into the house and my focus strained in noting his horrified expression. I couldn't imagine the emotions rolling off of Jake and I.
Esme's voice penetrated my thoughts, "Sweetheart, please. What's the meaning of this?" I shifted uncomfortably in my chair and Jake squeezed my knee in encouragement. I opened my mouth to speak and Alice cut me off, "Should I call Edward and Bella?"
"No!" My reply was loud and shrill and certainly didn't instill confidence in my increasingly concerned family. Alice nodded swiftly but her eyes betrayed her mounting fear. I had to stop dragging this out.
"Last night, I went to a club with my friends and I was attacked by a vampire." No one blinked or breathed or moved. "I had never met him before and I think he was just passing through but he caught my scent and was very curious about what exactly I was. We talked for awhile before he became- uh- aggressive." I didn't know how to say the rest, but their eyes were all expectant and questioning. My throat felt tight and the nausea swirling in my stomach increased.
I was exceptionally grateful when Carlisle took over in a physician-oriented fashion. "Are you not healing like normal?" His tone was strained, but level and I relaxed a little, leaning against Jake for support.
"Uh, my injuries are pretty extensive. Some worse than others." Jake stiffened in his seat and I glanced up at him, noting the glassy look in his eyes again.
"Bruises?" Esme asked carefully. She was acting guarded but I could see the gears turning in her mind. I grimaced and forced myself to be honest. "And scratches. And bites." I added softly.
"He bit you?" Aunt Rose cried in outrage. She flew to the other side of the table and stood behind Uncle Emmett's chair, grabbing his shoulders. I knew it wasn't to restrain him, but to alleviate her own stress and he quickly shifted to pull her into his lap.
Jasper spoke in a low, agonized tone, "The bites won't fade, Renesmee." The weight of that fact threatened to wreck my composure. I recalled how many there were all over my body and I felt the moisture stinging my eyes. I would never truly shed the scars of what happened. I gripped Jake's arm so tightly that if he was human, it would probably come off. He leaned down to kiss my forehead and Aunt Rose snapped.
"Where were you? How could you let someone do that to her? What were you-" I slammed my hand on the table, unable to hear another word and I felt the wood splinters beneath my fingers. I couldn't bring myself to look at him and see the undeniable, grossly unnecessary guilt on his face.
"This is not Jacob's fault anymore than it's mine for being there in the first place. Do you blame me, Aunt Rose?" She stared back at me, clearly livid and incredulous. Her only concession was to slink back into Emmett's embrace and glare out the window.
"You're just lucky he left her alive dog or you'd already be six feet under. He could have-" Her words were cutting at first, but she broke off with a horrified gasp and I finally felt my tears fall. Everyone else seemed upset, obviously, but none of them guessed what I saw in Rosalie's eyes at that moment. In a flash, she was at my side and pulling me into her arms, burying my face into her neck.
"Please, my love. Please tell me he didn't." She spoke the desperate words into my hair and I heard the collective horror from the rest of my family as they finally understood. I couldn't breathe anymore. I just broke in her arms, her maternal touch and devastated tone was too much. I knew she understood how I felt and I couldn't fight the rising hysteria any longer. She met my bawling with tearless sobs of her own and the burden threatened to crush me again.
In a detached portion of my brain, I registered the conversations occurring around me. Carlisle was insisting they bring me to his office upstairs to check on my physical state. Esme was debating calling my parents. I couldn't see Aunt Alice but I could hear her short, wheezing breaths and someone (probably Jasper) trying to soothe her. Surprisingly, the one voice I could always hear ringing throughout the house was completely silent. I shifted in Aunt Rose's embrace to peer at my Uncle and he was staring purposefully at the table, clenching his fists. He looked up suddenly, as if feeling my eyes on him and I was struck by the depth of his pained expression. The majority of my interactions with Uncle Emmett involved teasing or wrestling or superficial things, but the weight of the agony in his eyes was ancient and crippling. He never looked more aged or haggard to me than he did now.
He cleared his throat quietly and motioned to Jake, "Let's go out for a little while. I need to talk to you." I let out a sound resembling a whimper and immediately burrowed my face in Rose's shoulder to escape the embarrassment.
Jake reached out for me and I was astonished when Aunt Rose gave me up instantly without a word. He held me protectively to his chest and spoke against my temple, "You're safe now, Ness. We're not going to let anything happen to you ever again. Why don't you let Carlisle examine you while I step out with Emmett for a little bit? I promise I'll be back soon and blon- Rosalie will stay with you, okay?"
I laughed softly at his slip up and whispered into his neck, "Okay." I kissed the skin where his neck met his shoulder once, my ache to separate overriding my usual self-conscious attitude around my family. He squeezed me against him and planted a lingering kiss on my forehead, before releasing me. I tried not to shiver in mental distress at the lack of warmth. I felt cold without him now in a way that was foreign and pervasive, the chill spreading throughout my entire body.
Aunt Rose lifted me into her arms, cradling me against her and flitted to Carlisle's office. She placed me gently on the make-shift gurney in the corner and flew out of the room, returning in seconds with a large, woolen blanket. She draped it around my shoulders and climbed onto the gurney with me. I settled in her arms, comforted by the warmth and texture of the fabric.
"I know it's not as warm as Jacob, but it will do for now." The usual scorn in her voice when she spoke of him was completely absent. I didn't think I'd ever heard her speak his name before either. I snuggled further into her embrace and she held me just lightly enough to avoid injuring me further. Grandpa came in with a glass of water and handed it to Aunt Rose, so he could rummage around in his drawers for the necessary supplies. She encouraged me to sip the water, but I guzzled it down in ten seconds flat.
He walked over at a human pace, as if not to startle me, holding a few tubes and tools. He laid them out on a little table beside us and I noted the fairly sizeable needle.
"Renesmee, I want to take a blood sample if that's alright with you. I have to clean your skin with antiseptic first." He picked up the small square of antiseptic wipe and held out his hand for my wrist. I rolled up the sleeve as high as I could comfortably get it and he placed the wipe on the inside of my forearm. I hissed at the sudden burning sensation and Aunt Rose tensed.
"I believe the bites are still very tender. I will avoid them, I promise." I just nodded, clenching my teeth as the burn slowly abated. He opened the packaging of the needle and I tried not to anticipate the pain, knowing that would only make it worse. It seemed silly really to be worrying about a little needle, given the amount of pain I'd endured last night. I gripped my Aunt's hand firmly and exhaled, imagining the nerves flowing out of my body with that breath.
I had seen the Cullens struggle to handle everything with Bella, but I had never seen them this upset. Esme brought me a pen and paper and told me to write down every one of Ness's favorite foods. In any other circumstance, I would have laughed or rolled my eyes, but I knew she was just trying to find something to make her feel better. It was weird to be grateful for the Cullens, but I was. I was so grateful for them, because I didn't know if I could fix her on my own and I needed help.
Alice was still pretty messed up and Jasper had her in his lap on the couch. When we first sat down at the table, I felt the waves of calm he had sent, probably overwhelmed with whatever the hell I'm feeling rooted in my chest. Now, he was completely preoccupied with his mate to notice any of us.
She kept whispering "my fault, my fault, my fault" on a broken record and maybe it's because my nerves were shot, but I snapped at her. "Give it a rest, Alice. It's all our faults. It's no one's fault. Does it matter?"
Alice made a noise in her throat, but said nothing. Jasper's eyes blazed and I gulped, not really wanting to pick a fight. I knew I was on a short fuse, more tightly strung than I'd ever been in my life, but fighting with one of them and upsetting Ness would only make me more guilty. It was a war in my brain between mind-numbing guilt and just heartache for the most amazing part of my life and how badly she was hurting.
When we watched those Hallmark movies she loved so much and the plot dropped off with a fight or a negative twist, she would squeeze my shoulder to release her stress and goosebumps would rise up all over her body. I asked her about it once, and she explained that whatever happened was so jarring (good or bad) that she just felt inundated for a minute. That's what it felt like now, only they were permanent goosebumps. I couldn't shake how jarring her news was and I worried that reaction would never fade. I needed to be strong for her. I couldn't waste time wallowing in how badly I fucked up. It was done and it was my job to help her heal.
As if I needed more than an emotional motivation, the wolf within was wired, knowing this was what my imprint needed. It was really only an added layer of urgency, but it propelled me to walk toward Emmett and nudge him, "Come on. I don't want to be gone long."
We were silent as we raced through the forest, going a few miles away from Forks. Emmett seemed to be leading us somewhere, so I just followed we came to a flat area up in the mountains. It was mostly rock and fine grass situated between two large hills and overlooking the forest. The sight was incredible, but my senses were dulled and I flopped down on the grass. Emmett sat opposite me and ripped up some of the grass from its roots.
"I wanted to talk to you about your uh … intentions with Renesmee."
I really tried to keep a straight face, but I knew it was failing miserably. "Don't you think it's a little late for that discussion?"
He smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. "I don't understand much about this whole imprinting business, but I do know about the role you're about to take on and I need to make sure you're prepared."
I didn't have a response for that, so I just let him continue. Ness had alluded about Rosalie in the past, but I never asked because it didn't seem fair for me to know given our tense relationship.
"Rose was attacked as a human and that's why Carlisle turned her. He found her… after and she would have died otherwise." The tension in his body had lessened and he was practically hunched over with the weight of his words.
"I didn't even know exactly what happened until nearly two years after I turned. Being a newborn is overwhelming and she thought I couldn't handle it."
"What did you do when she told you?" I winced, remembering how I broke down to her. My Ness actually comforted me.
He raised his arm and rubbed the back of his neck in a startlingly human nervous gesture, a smile forming on his lips. "I proposed."
I grinned too, but then my stomach dropped. "Uh, you don't want me to propose to Ness right? I mean I know I will eventually, but we're really… really not there yet."
Emmett laughed and shook his head, so I let the air back into my lungs. His forehead creased like he was concentrating very hard.
"She needs someone to lean on right now and I can't let it be you if you aren't completely committed. I won't let her be hurt anymore than she already has been and if she relies on you and you leave…" He veered off and I felt a sense of relief flood me. I didn't care that he was questioning my devotion to Ness, because I realized he helped Rosalie through it and I had a shot. I knew there was no one on this planet more tightly bound to another person that I was with Ness, but that bond did her no good if I didn't know how to help her.
"I will always be there for her, but I feel like I'm in over my head. We're already so close and I think she wants something more now. I don't want to reject her and I certainly want more whenever she's ready, but will that make it harder for her right now?"
He nodded in approval, "There's no rules with this. If you both want that, then go for it but go slow. I was terrified to be that way with Rose the first time. I thought I'd be reminding her of what happened, but she just insisted that it was completely different when you are with a person you love. I am sure as shit not condoning you and Ness sleeping together, but I don't think you will make her nervous or remind her of that if you're together. And if you're worried about something, just ask her."
My breaths came easier for the first time since this nightmare started. I knew nothing I did would erase what happened, but at least I had a game plan for going forward. I didn't need to keep her at a distance like this morning as long as we were both honest with each other. It was a sick sense of irony that I'd been waiting for the day Ness wanted me for years and when it finally came, I was the one who hesitated. I'd have to fix that when we get back.
"Listen, Jake, I know you and Edward haven't always got along, but she loves you so everyone else can just deal. Hell, I have to hate you to keep my wife happy, but I'm glad she has you." I stared at him openly shocked and he laughed. I wanted to express my gratitude and tell him how much I appreciated his input, but no words came. He stood and clapped me on the shoulder, I guess his form of a hug for mortal enemies/guys his niece dates.
"Come on, let's get you back to your girl." He sprinted into the trees and I scrambled up after him.
A/N: If you want to read the 'proposal' scene between Rosalie & Emmett, it's a separate piece called My Angel. Don't worry, Bella & Edward will show up soon and we'll learn more about this attacker. Please review!