I must have drifted off in Aunt Rose's arms, because when I opened my eyes again we were cuddled up in the living room. I shifted slightly in her arms and lifted my head from her chest to peer around the room. Disappointment shot through me when I scanned and saw Alice and Grandma across from us, but no Jake.

Aunt Rose sat up too and pecked my forehead, "They'll be back soon, sweetheart." I just nodded and became distracted by the amazing smell coming from the kitchen. My stomach grumbled in appraisal and Esme flew out of the room to grab the platter of chocolate chip cookies she baked. I beamed at her and took one, biting into it slowly. She placed the rest of the heap on the coffee table in front of me and smiled at my enthusiasm.

I basically moaned from the taste and they all laughed. I giggled too, scarfing it down and grabbing another. Only Grandma could make them taste this good. She claimed to have some secret recipe, but I think she just has an inherent knack for baking that the rest of us don't. Jake had tried and epically failed on so many occasions to produce something half as good as Esme's.

He knew chocolate chip was my favorite, so he bought enough ingredients to make eight batches for my last birthday. He ended up blowing through every single batch and I swear, each one was worse than the last. When I finally showed up in La Push that night, he was covered in flour and the counters were filled with mediocre, half-burnt chocolate chip cookies. He kept apologizing, so I told him the real birthday present was seeing him in a red-checkered, frilly apron. Luckily, the pack has significantly lower standards for their sweets, so the rejects didn't go to waste.

I heard him approaching the house with my uncle and swallowed the last bite of my third cookie, still insatiably hungry. It was unnatural how quickly his presence made my body relax and I sat back, throwing an arm over my stomach in appreciation.

"These are amazing, Grandma."

"I'll take your word for it, darling. Enjoy," I didn't need to be told twice as I carefully divided the spoils into two plates- me and Jake. If I didn't delineate now, I knew I would end up fighting him off later.

Speak of the devil: he strode in and jumped on the couch beside me and Rosalie, swiping two cookies from my pile. I swatted his shoulder as he inhaled one and started on the other without even pausing to breathe.

"Those were mine jerk. This is your pile." I thrust his plate out to him and he eagerly accepted it, passing me the half-bitten one he stole. I popped it in my mouth and my insides set on fire when I tasted him intermingled with the chocolate on my tongue. My mind wandered to what his actual lips would taste like and I was almost swept away with the fantasy.

Of course, Uncle Jasper walked in at that exact moment and I could see from his expression that my emotions were reading loud and clear. I fought the automatic burn on my cheeks and leaned against Jake's shoulder. He wrapped an arm around me, though his attention didn't leave the cookies until his were all devoured.

"You're unbelievable," I muttered to him, shoving my pile as far away from him

as I could manage. I felt the rumble of his laugh radiate through my body.

"I know, Ness. I'm awesome." I just sighed, not willing to battle it out. When I glanced up at his face, I was surprised to see his normal, carefree expression. It made me feel warm throughout my entire body and I turned to Emmett as he entered, mouthing 'thank you'. I didn't know what they discussed, but whatever it was, it seemed to alleviate some of Jake's stress. Emmett just winked back at me and moved toward Aunt Rose, sitting on the arm of the couch. She immediately stood so he could take her spot and hopped into his lap.

"I'm happy to see your appetite hasn't suffered, Renesmee." Carlisle entered with a gentle smile and joined Esme on the opposite couch, while Alice moved to the loveseat with Jasper. I grinned and debated grabbing another to brag, but my stomach churned in protest. I didn't want to puke, but I vowed to finish them tomorrow before Jacob could gobble them up.

"Did you get any immediate results from the tests?" Jasper asked gruffly. Grandpa's face was usually a pretty well maintained mask, but I saw a crease appear on his forehead and something flashed in his eyes that I couldn't quite catch. I tensed as his silence dragged on for a minute longer.

"Your hormone levels were abnormal, but that could be from the stress of the trauma." He delivered the statement without any hint of emotion and he seemed to be scrutinizing my reaction.

"Okay, so my cortisol is elevated? Because I'm stressed?" He nodded and placed his palms face down on his knees, visibly squeezing them for support.

"Your estrogen and progesterone levels are elevated as well." He was straining against the words and I struggled to understand his hesitancy. Dad had taught me a lot about human anatomy and I knew maintaining appropriate hormone levels was vital for your health, but surely if it was severe, he would just put me on medicine or something. Homeostasis was disrupted in humans all the time and they adjusted; intense emotions, outside stressors, physical activity, pregnancy- Pregnancy.

My aunts and uncles wore similar expressions to Carlisle and Esme buried her face in his chest, her fingers clutching his collar fiercely. I peered up at Jake and realized he was chewing absently on another cookie. I swallowed thickly.

"Could I be… pregnant?" Jake started choking and struggled to compose himself. I patted his back awkwardly and tried to process that possibility.

Carlisle sighed before answering me, "It's possible, Renesmee. The hormone fluctuations could be a simple product of stress and we don't even know if you're capable of being impregnated. I should be able to tell with absolute certainty within the week."

My breathing accelerated and I stared purposefully at the fabric of the couch cushion beneath me, not daring to look at Jake's face. His breaths quickly began to match mine. I stood abruptly, not sure where I was going but I knew I needed to get out of here. I started heading toward the patio door and I stopped, locking eyes with Aunt Alice, "Promise me no one will call my parents until I figure out what to tell them. Please."

She grimaced but swiftly nodded and I turned on my heel, darting into the backyard. I didn't look back to see if anyone was following me as I took off into the forest. I rarely used my full speed like I did now and I was fascinated in a kind of detached way by how the rest of the world blurred as I ran.

I caught the scent of a lynx that probably wandered down from Canada. I let my instincts take over and tracked it just a few miles north. The blood was satiating, but I couldn't rid my body of its restless energy. I gripped the lynx's neck tighter to my mouth and wondered if it had been running from its problems too when I found it.

It seemed inevitable that this burden would crush me. Maybe not today or tomorrow, but it would always be weighing on my mind and my spirit until I couldn't bear it any longer. A sick sense of envy coursed through me for the dead animal in my grasp. At least, he was out of his misery now.

I recoiled at that rationale and forced myself to separate my thoughts from the ache in my heart. I had never disliked my life so much that I wished I wasn't living it and that mindset scared me. Surely, I wasn't so broken that I would throw away all of the dozens of blessings I had been given as a mere escape from this singular pain. No matter how potent.

Hot shame and guilt filled my veins that I would even consider such a terrible act. Even if I couldn't muster the will to live for myself, I had a responsibility that transcended all else to my family. To Jacob.

I shook my head as if coming out of a daze and dropped the drained animal, wanting to be free from the reminder of my temporary lapse in judgement. I sped in the opposite direction and nearly collided with an enormous, russet-skinned wolf. My wolf.

I flung myself against him and he affectionately whined, dropping to the forest floor with me. I just gripped his fur tightly in both my fists and wrapped myself around him, clinging to his strength. I might be weak right now, but I knew he would never waver and I buried my face in his neck, overwhelmed with the solace that brought me. My Jacob would never waver. He gave a soft bark in affirmation and I realized I was sending him my thoughts.

I released my fistfuls of him, but I leaned upward to kiss the side of his head right under his eye. I put my hand over the same spot and sent him the one, definite unwavering truth I could conjure. I love you, Jake.

We laid like that for what felt like hours and I felt the tension seep from my body. I still held him close, but the urgency and fear waned, replaced by serenity and comfort. Every so often, he would lean his head over and nuzzle my cheek, releasing a soft sound. It was almost like a purr from deep in his chest and I couldn't explain the way my brain and body seemed to react to it like a match igniting kerosene. My very being was overlapping with his and I never wanted to differentiate because I was infinitely better as a part of our collective one than as my own separate entity.

He grumbled a little, his fur bristling under me and I blushed, knowing he must have heard my thoughts. I needed to work on my filter with him; it seemed almost nonexistent these days. I rubbed behind his ear and spoke aloud, no longer trusting my runaway thoughts.

"I know, I know. I'm my own super special person." He interrupted me with a dissenting whine at my attitude, but I persisted.

"It's just easier with you, Jake. You make me stronger." He was quiet at that notion, so I continued. "I'm not hurt with you. Or struggling or broken. I'm just me because you take the rest away."

I didn't willingly release my tears this time, but they streaked down my face without my permission anyway. In testament to my words, he sat up and licked my face, making me laugh. Always bringing me back from the brink. I lifted my hand to his face and flashed him the image of his dorky cooking attire that I remembered earlier. He barked out a laugh and nuzzled me closer until I was a little dizzy from his scent and his nearness.

He shifted a little, breaking off the moment, and tossed his head toward the trees, telling me it was time to go home. I moved so I was on top of him with my arms around his neck, instead of laying on his side. He stood and bounded faster than I'd ever seen him go, reaching home in just a few minutes. I slid off his back when we were in sight of the house, but he whined and blocked my path. He tapped his front paw purposefully against the ground over and over and I struggled to decipher his actions.

"Here?" I asked and he bowed his head in agreement. I was still confused until he blocked my path when I tried to move again and adamantly patted the same spot.

"You want me to stay here?" He barked what could only be considered a 'yes' and ran toward the house. I was completely confused, but I stayed right where he asked, waiting.

After about two minutes, he emerged in human form and jogged up to me, enveloping me in his arms.

"Sorry, I didn't bring clothes with me when you ran off." I ignored the pang of guilt I felt, knowing he ran after me without a second thought. He pulled back about six inches and slipped his hands around my cheeks, warming them. I fought to keep my breathing even in such close proximity with him and it seemed like he was doing the same.

"I didn't want to be in earshot." He explained carefully, brushing his thumbs over my cheekbones. My mind felt foggy as his persistent exhales washed over my face. Why did we need privacy?

"I was wrong to stop you this morning, but I just needed to be sure that I wasn't hurting you." His eyes were blazing with intensity and I scrambled to make sense of his words with what little oxygen remained in my brain. My breath caught in understanding and he brought his mouth down to mine, barely brushing.

I let out a cry or maybe a moan of frustration and pressed down on his shoulders for leverage, craning upward and crushing my lips to his. He kissed me back almost feverishly and my head swam with how his taste, his scent, and his presence coalesced around me. His hands were still cradling my face gently while his mouth was anything but gentle against mine. I tangled my fingers in his hair and tugged probably harder than was polite, but he just groaned into my mouth and the sound reverberated through my body.

I felt the trunk of a tree behind me suddenly and I couldn't tell if he or I moved us there. My chest was screaming for air, but the feeling of his mouth on mine was the only thing capable of overriding my basic survival instincts. Necessity became suggestion as his tongue traced along my bottom lip. I'd more than happily suffocate in his arms.

That possibility loomed as I felt my legs liquefy and buckle beneath me. He was supporting my weight before I even finished falling and I leaned my head back against the tree, panting frantically. His kisses moved to my jaw and became slower, pressing deeper into my skin. They travelled the length of my jaw and under my ear, to just above my neck. A strangled moan came out of my mouth and he hummed in amusement along my pulse point, making my whole body shudder in bliss.

I gingerly tested the weight of my legs on the ground and found them to be a little wobbly, but overall stable. My heart was pounding so hard that my entire body felt like it was pulsing. He just stared at me through half-lidded, black eyes as his body began to calm as well. I only spoke when I was confident my voice would be strong enough and it still came out a little breathy, "We're… really good at that."

His lazy smile pulled into a stunning grin and he chuckled, lifting a hand to run through my hair. "Yeah we are, Baby." A disproportionate jolt of pleasure ran through me at the sound of that word on his lips. He had called me Ness, Nessie, honey, even Renesmee when he was pissed or scared, but never baby and the change seemed significant somehow.

I wrapped my arms around him and pressed my head against his chest, right over his thrumming heartbeat. I held him firmly to me, determined to never let him go. He started stroking my hair in the way that makes me relax and fall asleep, but I fought to stay awake and be in this moment. He nudged my body with his other hand and abruptly swept my legs out from under me, carrying me toward the house. I shrieked in surprise at first, before curling into his chest and reaching up to kiss the patch of exposed collar bone above his shirt. I reveled in how he shivered under my mouth and felt the triumphant grin on my face. He sped up the stairs to my bedroom, tossing me roughly on the bed as penance.

The playful anger melted from his eyes and a deeper adoration replaced it. He leaned down and kissed my lips once firmly, backing away almost as soon as it started.

"Goodnight Ness."

"Goodnight Jake." He stood in the doorway for another minute, as if he wanted to say more. He just beamed at me for a moment and then softly closed my bedroom door. I slipped on PJ's, but my mind was still reeling and I knew it wouldn't shut off anytime soon. Resigned to that fate, I climbed into bed and closed my eyes, watching the replay of our first kiss over and over until my consciousness finally faded away.