Disclaimer: I do not own anything; Characters belong to Joss Whedon Mutant Enemy. However this story is my own.
A/N: As always reviews are greatly appreciated, a few quotes etc may be used and obviously belong to the very talented people who wrote them - Loverswalk89
Chapter Eleven
*Rush*
'Now does it kill you when you think about me?
Are you as close to giving up as I've been?
I know we kept losing touch, got lost in the rush... I pray you don't hurt too much'
Buffy wasn't able to sleep she tossed and turned all night. She thought about how her life would be if she chose Angel. The sixteen year old inside her was doing a happy dance.
She could have everything she ever dreamed of with Angel. Marriage, children a house in the suburbs. Everything every girl should want, and maybe it would work out. She wasn't the only Slayer anymore she was practically normal now.
And then there was Spike... as soon as she saw him again her heart sang, she knew that he felt the same his eyes sparkled. She thought long and hard about what their relationship would be like if he was human. What kind of person would he be? Would he fit in in normal society?
She let out a sigh when a light tapping came at the door. "Buffy it's me" whispered Dawn
"Come in" she said sitting up in bed.
Dawn entered and plopped herself down on the bed next to her "how are you doing?" She asked
"Ah" smiled Buffy "a question with a bazillion answers"
"I know it's gotta be tough... choosing between them" said Dawn
"I just don't know what to do... my head says one thing and my heart says another" she sighed "and then there's the whole moral aspect I mean what if I get this wrong and there's some sort of catch because you know there's always a catch!"
"Buffy breath!" Dawn told her "I think deep down you know the answer. I think you just don't want to hurt him"
Buffy looked at her younger sister and smiled weakly "He's gunna hate me"
"Maybe... but he'll understand"
XXXXX
Spike sat nursing a glass of bourbon at the kitchen table. He'd been staring off into space for the last hour, there was a possibility that Buffy would actually chose him to become human. He was distracted from his thoughts by Buffy sitting herself down next to him.
"Can't sleep luv?" He asked taking a sip from the glass in front of him.
"Ah sleep is overrated anyway" she smiled
"Preaching to the choir pet"
They sat in silence for a moment.
"Do you..." Buffy started
"Luv?" He asked
"Do you wanna patrol with me? It's been a while..." she asked
"Spot of violence before bed... you know me too well" he smiled
XXXXX
The night air was cool enough just to send a chill down Buffy's spine. Spike smirked a little he remembered night after night in Sunnydale when he used to tag along with her patrols and she'd bitch and moan about how cold she was.
"Hey smirky" said Buffy disturbing him
"Just a trip down memory lane" he smiled
Buffy nodded
"I wonder if I'd lose my memories... that's if you pick me of course" he said
"I didn't think of that" said Buffy "maybe..."
"I hope not...I've got a lot of great memories up here" he said tapping his forehead
Buffy frowned "Ugh gross" she stopped in her tracks
"Not that you nit!" He sighed
Buffy raised an eyebrow
"Well yeah... there's those... visuals" he admitted
"Visuals?" Buffy asked
"Of course... I might not be a man in theory but I've still got needs"
"Ewww" Buffy shuddered and walked on
Spike laughed and followed her "sorry princess. There's other memories though some I think about just before I close my eyes at night"
Buffy bit her lower lip "like what?"
"The onion blossom thing from the bronze" he smirked as he sat down on a nearby bench
"Oh" said Buffy
"I'm yanking your chain Slayer. You it's always you" he said softly
"You hurt me" Buffy admitted
"I know" Spike lowered his head
Buffy sat beside him "334 days..." she said her voice just above a whisper
He turned to took at her
"That's how long you were gone... except you weren't" she told him
The look on her face made his chest hurt "you counted"
"Just like you did" she reminded him
"I remember... 147 days" he said "why did you count the days"
Buffy shrugged "Same reason you did I guess"
They sat in silence her pinky finger sought out his as they sat together, he looked at her a little taken back that she was trying to hold his hand. She looked back at him with unshed tears in her eyes, he smiled and grabbed her hand tightly.
Unbeknownst to the blondes Angel had been watching them from the shadows. He looked hurt as he saw Buffy lay her head upon Spike's shoulder as they sat there in perfect silence just being with each other.
He let out a low growl and left hastily.
XXXXX
Buffy and Spike arrived back at Slayer Inc, Spike watched Buffy walk up the stairs until she disappeared and smiled to himself.
Buffy reached her bedroom and opened the door to find Angel sitting on her bed.
"What are you doing?" She asked him folding her arms
"I could ask you the same question" he snapped back jumping to his feet
"What are you talking about?" asked Buffy
"I saw the two of you"
"Oh..." Buffy sighed "I just-"
"C'mon explain to me why you were all snuggles with him!" Angel shouted
"I don't owe you an explanation!" Buffy shouted back
"Uh you kinda do! He's still the same old Spike y'know!"
"Just like you're the same old Angel?" She yelled
"What's that supposed to mean?" He shoulders dropped
"You still think I'm some sixteen year old school girl!" She cried "You still think that you know what's best for me! Well guess what Angel! I'm not that same girl you met all those years ago! You can't just call me here and expect me to fall in line! I'm still the Slayer and if you know what's good for you I wouldn't piss me off right now! Or did you forget that I'm the one that gets to seal your fate!"
"Buffy... I'm sorry" he said softly
"I can't" Buffy cried opening the door and gesturing for him to leave
"Remember all those years ago... you told me that you wanted your life to be with me? We get that chance now Buffy I will be able to take you into the light" he begged her
"Please" she glanced to the door
He paused for a moment and walked toward the door. He stopped in front of her and touched her cheek softly "Are you still my girl?" He asked
"Angel" she begged with tears rolling down her face
He sighed and left the room, Buffy quickly shut the door behind him and sank to the floor her sobs taking over her body.
XXXXX
Spike sat alone again at the kitchen table when Faith walked in "hey... you hear all that shit?" She asked
"Yeah" Spike sighed "every word"
"Every word? Oh vampire hearing... I forgot" Faith shrugged grabbing a bag of potato chips and sitting down across from him "The age old tale of Buffy and Angel" she scoffed
Spike looked up at the Slayer in front of him "Star-crossed bloody lovers" he rolled his eyes
"It's not so bad being second best" said Faith
Spike stared at her for a moment "oh yeah?"
"Heck yeah. Makes life easier, no pressure, nothing to worry about" Faith smiled
"And you believe that do you?" He asked
"Sure" said Faith crunching on a chip "you want me to kill her? I can make it look like an accident" She smirked
Spike looked like he actually thought about her offer for a split second before shaking it off "No" he sighed
"Well the offer is there blondie"
"And just what are you offering Dead Boy Jr" asked Xander entering the room and stealing a handful of chips
"Oh nothin'" Faith winked at the vampire "what are you doing up?"
"Who could sleep with the raised voices and the slamming of doors... it's like living with my parents again" Xander shuddered