Chapter 1

Ichigo stared out the window from his desk. It had been four months since he lost his powers. He imagined opening the window and jumping out, landing on his reiatsu to keep from falling. Then he remembered his reiatsu was gone. At first everything seemed to disappear somewhat slowly. First he stopped sensing hollows and then, he woke up one morning from a weekend-long sleep and couldn't even spot a common spirit.

The door slammed open. "What are you doing Ichigo?" a woman asked.

He turned to face her but hit his head on the window seal. Apparently, he had gotten a little too close to it in his daydream.

"What do you mean, Tatsuki? I was waiting for you….you wanted to do one on one soccer practice today? Usually I charge, but you're a friend, so…I'll give you 10% off. Just this one time." He winked and held out a hand, rubbing his fingers together as he imagined the non-existent money.

Tatsuki brushed her hair aside. It was getting long. "No, that was just a distraction. There were too many people around and I wanted to get you by yourself….you're always surrounded with people these days." She sat down on the desk beside him, on the row away from the window.

"Asking me out on a date, huh?" Ichigo asked with a laugh. Then he stopped himself. He really hoped she wasn't or at least if she was going to, he hoped he was enough of an ass to change her mind.

"Are you really that dense? Actually, I don't have to ask that 'cause you clearly are. You do know I'm not into boys, right? I never even had to come out. Everyone knows that."

For a moment Ichigo was silent, trying to keep his face expressionless. People don't just come out in Japan. While it wasn't technically punishable by law, the promise of torment from your family, school, career, and friends usually was enough to make one keep quiet. When he was younger, he didn't think Japan even had gay people, and he had theorized that there was a gay gene but it didn't exist or was more rare in Asians. Biology and anthropology classes had rejected that hypothesis, and he hadn't given his sexually much thought….until the past year or so.

"You defeated Aizen, but me being gay makes you speechless?"

"Oh no, sorry! I've just had a lot on my mind. That's great for you, I'm sure everyone is supportive, and if they're not….well, I may have lost my soul reaper powers, but I don't need those to take down a bully." He smiled, closing his eyes. The subject was too personal for him, and he didn't want to give anything away.

"So, is there someone you like?" He asked when the silence got awkward. He couldn't figure out what made her want to go and tell him about this. Didn't she have Orihime?

"You couldn't figure out that either?" Tatsuki sighed. "There's always just been her. I'm lucky she's so dense or she'd have realized the feelings behind my eyes long ago."

"Orihime, then…?" Ichigo asked, although he wasn't certain. Tatsuki was very protective of her. It made sense.

Tatsuki nodded. "But she won't feel the same. Don't ever tell her this.?"

"Of course I won't, but….how do you know if you don't tell her your feelings? If they're that strong, shouldn't you tell her?"

Taski shook her head. "She's in love with someone. A man. I never asked her, but I can tell she doesn't like women like that. And besides, they are that strong. So strong that I would never want to make her uncomfortable or lose her friendship. They're so strong that I would never want her to feel like she now had to act some special way towards me to avoid hurting my feelings. And more importantly, she's my friend. I don't just want her. I want her to be happy….which is why I'm here. The person she's in love with is you, Ichigo, has been for ages."

Ichigo couldn't say he was totally surprised. He had picked up that she might have some feelings, though he never thought of them as love beyond a friend, he supposed with how reserved she was he could have entirely missed any small signals she mistakenly dropped.

"Why tell me now?" asked Ichigo, trying to avoid responding directly to what she had said.

"We're seniors. I'm planning on going away to uni on a soccer scholarship, and Orihime has been talking about applying to schools too. I'm assuming at some point you might leave here, too. Like I said, I care about her, more than almost anyone, and I didn't want her to leave without finding out if she has a shot with you. Have you thought about her in that way?"

'No. Absolutely not. That could never happen, because….'

"She's the most compassionate person I know. No person has a kinder heart than hers. I am….incredibly lucky to be on the receiving end of her love. And….well, yes, I love her. I really do. But not romantically. She's beautiful and she deserves someone special….but she deserves to be loved romantically, and I….well, I just don't."

Tatsuki clenched and unclenched her hands under the desk. "I thought so," she mumbled.

"Don't look sad." Ichigo almost put a hand on her upper back but thought better of it. He didn't want to bond with her too much, it would only make it harder to hide his secret. "You obviously know how beautiful she is. Even though I don't like her that way, I'm not blind. Hell, the whole class has a crush just on her. She will meet someone, and I will always be there for her as a friend. And yours. And hey, you're gunna meet some soccer hottie when you go off to school, I promise, and I never break those."

Tatsuki smiled and stood up. It was clear she needed some alone time after this talk, She paused for a moment before going, then asked: "Does that mean there's someone else you're interested in?"

Ichigo's eyes widened, but he focused on calming the red signs of embarrassment that were sure to soon cover his face. He coughed, using his hand over his face to conceal the red. Then he shook his head back and forth at a speed approaching Yoruichi's flash step.

"No one for me. I'm just trying to make it through high school without superpowers." He quickly leaned over the desk, pretending to repack his bag until he heard the door close.

He signed. No one who would notice, anyway.

"Wait? Why? We've got the captain commander's approval now…" Urahara narrowed his eyes under the shadow of his hat. "You're a good dad. You're worried about him."

"Ever since that night with Rukia, he's been in so many consecutive verge-of-death battles and despite getting stronger, there's always some new enemy that's more deadly than the last. Can't he at least finish high school before he dies? I'd like to go to his graduation, you know…" Isshin started serious, but found himself regressing towards his usual comical self.

"We could simply take out anyone that might be a threat. The captains of the Gotei 13 seem to be causing him the most trouble. We could just wipe them out," he patted his hands together miming brushing off dust. "Problem solved."

"Can we wipe out clowns with them? They freak Yuzu out…"

"We can wipe out the world world. No enemies, no problems."

"Then Ichigo wouldn't even need his powers."

"But they'd still be fun for gymnastics."

Isshin swung his fist in the air. "You're not imagining my boy in some fruffy leotard are you..? Cause I can knock that image right out of your mind." He raised his fist with pride. It was, after all, much larger than Urahara's. It felt good to pretend to be intimidating from time to time.

"You're the only one putting that picture out there, you dirty old man." But Urahara tilted his hat downward, lengthening the shadow to conceal his slightly flushed cheeks.

"I know Ichigo needs his powers back. If they come back sooner, it could make him a target. If they don't come back sooner and he is made a target, then he won't be able to fight. I know all this. I just want to give him a small break from the fighting. If he's anything like you….or like his mother, even, he won't stop fighting hopeless battles, and eventually he'll get killed. I'm resigned to this. But he has to make it to graduation. And I have to see it. I made a promise to his mother."

"Of course. I'll notify the captain commander of your decision.

...

After Isshin had left, Tessai brought Urahara some tea. He could taste the chamomile in it. The man must have sensed his stress. He really did always know what leaves to use. To add to his admiration of the man, he noticed he had left almost immediately as the cup was set down. He would only allow himself to have these thoughts in the absence of others.

He knew Isshin had made the right call. The boy deserved to have a year of normalcy. The real reason he wanted them restored now is because without his powers, Ichigo wouldn't have a reason to see him. And he wouldn't have an excuse to visit the boy. He thought about how creepy he would look hanging outside the high school so he could flirt with a minor. He often ignored that fact. It was easier to put up walls knowing how wrong it would be if he, who was over 100, started making eyes at some teenage boy. The wait would be hard, but maybe this way, his feelings would start to simmer down. Besides, Urahara thought, when I do see him again, he'll be grown up. And maybe his grown up self will find he likes fucking almost as much as fighting. Then again, with Orihime around, why would he pick me?