~.~
-THE OUTSIDER-
by Iland Girl
'for those in search of home.'
A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction
I don't own anybody but Erin... for now...
Chapter Four: Kindness
"The level of our success is limited only by our imagination and no act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted."
― Aesop
When Alphonse mentioned his brother, I somehow expected someone tall and gruff looking. Someone to set the mood and make me feel even tinier than I already did.
What I got, was someone very different.
"Brother, this is Erin. Erin, this is my brother Edward."
I almost missed Alphonse introducing us. Edward looked nothing like I expected. For starters, he was small. Much shorter than me actually, but his hair was just as long and slightly darker than my own pale hair. His eyes though, were immensely unnerving.
They were gold, bright and intelligent, and threw me for a loop when he scrutinized me. I felt like knives were caressing my skin, not a feeling I had felt before. It made me uncomfortable, so I glared right back.
"What back alley did you drag her out of?" Edward asked without breaking eye contact. Damn those eyes were making me squirm. Alphonse was immediately abhorred by his brother's attitude.
"Brother! We don't talk to ladies that way! Teacher would kill us!" Alphonse scolded. Their talk went over my head as I narrowed my eyes at Edward. He scowled.
"What are you looking at?" He snapped.
"You're eyes, they're….." Intense. "…Freaky…."
Edward glowered at me, his shoulders rising before he shoved a finger in my direction.
"Says the girl with mud coloured eyes!" He countered. I didn't fight back, and instead backed down while looking away.
"Like I haven't heard that one before…" I muttered, but I got the sinking feeling he heard me. There was a beat of silence, then I looked back at Edward out of pure reaction. He was staring at me still, piercing me with that gaze.
He was pitying me, I could tell.
I looked away again.
The dog bumped my hand, whimpering. I looked to him and pet him gently. Edward groaned.
"Well I was off to get dinner. Guess you could come along. You can eat Al's portion since he's being so dutiful." Edward said flippantly while walking back into the room to grab a red coat. It was tossed across the couch, and he return not a minute later to see me staring at him in mild surprise. He paused, stared at me, then muttered under his breath about strays before I stepped aside and he started walking.
I looked to Alphonse, wondering if this was normal. Alphonse chuckled before looking down at me.
"Yeah, he's always like that." Was all the explanation I received before he started after him. I snorted, glanced at the dog, then started after them with my four legged friend in tow.
Edward wasn't kidding when he said I was getting Alphonse's portion. He left no food for his brother and told me to order what I wanted. Alphonse insisted over and over again this was okay, but I still didn't feel right.
I ordered a large steak with mashed potatoes, gravy, and vegetables. After a third of the steak was taken along with half the accompaniments, I slid the plate over to Alphonse to insist he ate. I didn't look him in the eye though.
"I can get you fresh utensils if you'd like." I informed him while glancing at the empty table in front of me. It was a surprise when Alphonse pushed the food back to me. I looked up, seeing Edward and Alphonse staring at me.
"Honestly Erin, it's okay. I'm in training right now and can only eat at certain times." Alphonse assured gently. I nodded, glancing at the quiet dog who was sleeping at me feet. He was so freaking skinny. I whistled for his attention, dangling the steak over the side of the table. He wagged his tail, jumped up and inhaled the steak in two bites. His tail wagged furiously as he licked my face vigorously. I laughed, petting him while he settled down.
"Hey! I promised to feed you! Not the mutt!" Edward complained, but I was enraptured by the happy dog sitting next to me with his head in my lap.
"I think we're a package deal now." I said gently, scratching his ear. Edward muttered under his breath, but instead of getting mad he surprised me by calling a waiter over.
"Yeah, can we get two more steaks over here? Oh and I was more of that garlic toast." Edward said before diving back into his meal. I watched him, enamoured by how much such a tiny boy could eat. He definitely wasn't fat either, where did it all go? He realized I was staring again and caught me. I looked away, but not before he questioned me.
"Now what?! Your dog stuffed suddenly?" He snapped.
"No, thank you for that. I was….." I looked back at him. "Well, you eat a lot for a small guy."
Oh he did not like that.
"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SMA-"
I ducked away, the dog growling across the table at Edward when he saw me flinch. Edward stopped mid shout though as soon as it dawned on him I was flinching away. He looked surprised, and I covered up my fear quickly with a glare.
"What the Hell? I didn't call you anything rude." I snapped, though I held on to the dog and pet him to settle down both of us. He sat back, no longer growling at Edward. Alphonse could likely sense the tension, and spoke up.
"Oh! My brother has a complex about being called short or small or shortie or-"
"Al!" Edward cried with a hint of betrayal. Alphonse chuckled at him, and slowly things settled down as the waiter returned with the steaks. I busied myself with cutting these ones up for the dog before feeding him. When he stopped accepting them I felt my own stomach growl and ate some more.
More awkward silence.
"So, Erin, your accent, Amestrian isn't your first language, is it?" Alphonse cut in. I paused, cueing in on the word he used for the language. Amestrian…. That was the equivalent of me saying Germany's language was German. So, this country was called Amestris or something along that line of thinking.
"No, it's my second. My father taught it to me, though I'll admit, I've never properly spoken to people with it save for family members." I said, staring at the empty plate in front of me.
"What's your first language?" Alphonse asked. He was trying very hard to carry a conversation, the least I could do was concede. I looked up to him.
"English."
He tilted his head to the side.
"I've never heard that language before, what's it sound like?" He asked, a curious lift in his voice. He sounded so young, how could he be that tall with a tiny brother?
"It's nothing special. I can speak a few different languages. It's not super interesting really." I answered in English with my Canadian accent. Alphonse gave a tiny gasp, surprising me again.
"Wow! That sounds really strange." He said, I nodded.
"It's a hard language to learn. The rules are very different than…. Amestrian….. There are a lot of unspoken rules that native speaker just know. Though it helps to learn those rules even if you are a native speaker, because it opens the doors for understanding other languages." I explained. Alphonse seemed to be completely captured in our conversation. I side-glanced to see Edward also listening.
"Do you speak any other languages? I can only speak Amestrian." Alphonse explained. I hmm'd for a moment. I knew a small amount of Italian, but not a fluent level of it.
"I know sign language, and I can read sheet music." I said, still trying to think of some Italian words.
"Sign language? What's that?"
"Oh, it's talking, but with your hands. People who can't speak or hear in my country use it to commune. I suppose some people use it in environments where noise is an issue." I stated, finally looking at Edward. It was his turn to seem caught as he went back to eating.
"Can you teach me?" Alphonse asked. I turned to him and gave a small smile. Nobody had asked me to teach them before. So I started teaching Alphonse to English alphabet. I explained that it was the English version of signing, but it didn't really matter considering I had huge doubts anyone else would know it, and ASL worked similar to German sentence structure.
Dinner came to a close after I taught Alphonse how to spell my name, his name, and Edward's. The supposedly older brother started walking off, Alphonse following. I stood there outside the restaurant dumbly, not sure how to say goodbye and thank you without sounding like an idiot.
Edward and Alphonse stopped walking and both glanced back at me. I waved, giving a soft smile.
"Thank you for dinner. I really do appreciate it. And um, I guess I'll see you around?" I offered. Edward frowned.
"What are you talking about? Didn't my brother offer you a bed to sleep in?" He asked, turning fully to me. For the umpteenth time that day, he had surprised me. I shook my head quickly.
"I can't ask that of you." I insisted, but Alphonse took a step towards me.
"You're not asking, we're offering." He informed me.
And just slightly, I felt a nudge of something in my chest. Just slightly.
So I followed them back, but this time no matter how many times they insisted I take a bed, I took the couch. There was no way I was mooching off of them that much. So I curled up on the couch with a stinky stray dog who had no idea what separation was. I petted him as I tried my damndest not to cry from the onslaught of emotions that night, and he whimpered softly whenever I did.
Don't cry.
Is what I imagined he was saying.
"Is she the one?"
"Who knows. Looks weird enough to fit the bill."
"She's a mess, we should take her now."
"Be patient, we don't want them finding out it's returned."
I woke the next morning to the sun glaring into my eyes.
The bathroom door was shut, I guess one of the boys was up. I sat up despite the massive dog laying across my stomach. He groaned, but slipped off me to lay on the floor. I stretched before standing upright. Just as I did the bedroom door opened and Alphonse came out.
His armour glinted in the morning light, and for a brief second I was able to put everything into focus.
The strange design that had been in the shed, the design was similar to that guy in the streets was doing the other day. Whatever it was, it seemed widely accepted here, and it seemed to be the key to returning home.
"Oh, good morning Erin. You're awake already." Alphonse chirped. I gave a polite smile, but I was on a mission.
"Good morning Alphonse….. Um, do you have a minute to talk about something?" I asked while fixing my ruffled clothing. Alphonse turned fully to me and nodded before entering the room properly and walking over.
"Sure thing, what did you want to talk about?" Alphonse asked. I scratched the back of my shoulder, looking away.
"I wanted to ask about, well what that guy did in the street yesterday." I said slowly. Alphonse was quiet for a moment before he seemed to have cued in.
"Oh! You mean alchemy?"
I looked to him, surprised. That was alchemy? I had heard of alchemy before, it was a science back home….. but never did I think it could do things like this. Obviously there was some different between this side and the other that allowed for such a power.
"Uh, yeah. I've never seen it before to be honest." I confessed. Alphonse let out a small laugh.
"Yeah, I guessed that since you ran away." He teased. I turned red, frowning. It was understandable that he was teasing me gently, but I still wasn't used to it.
"Jeez, it's new alright? It looked like bloody witch craft to me!" I defended, but Alphonse was undeterred. He took out a piece of chalk from I don't know where and began to draw on the floor.
"This is an array, it allows an alchemist to control the elements within the circle. Inside the circle I can make a lot of chemical changes. Breaking bonds, building them, one specifically, carbon."
He finished the array, letting me look at it, before placing his hand over it. I leaned in, awed by the raw light and energy shown from the act. When he finished, there was a small kitten statue on the floor.
"This floor contains dolomite, which contains carbon. I can separate the carbon from the rest of the atoms and create this kitten out of carbon. I can even change the density or the carbon to change how strong it is." Alphonse explained. I stared in awe, picking up the kitten and looking it from all angles.
"Alphonse, that's incredible!" I said, looking over the statue. Alphonse scratched the back of his helm.
A short while later Edward came from the bathroom, and we must've been quite the sight, myself stationed behind a large wall of kitten statues, and Alphonse attempting to stack one on top of my dog's nose.
"Jeez, what are you guys doing?" Edward asked. I scratched the back of my neck, not having a good answer. Alphonse succeeded in getting the dog to stay still and balance a kitten statue on his head.
"Oh come on Brother, lighten up." Alphonse teased. Edward smirked at the dog, who slowly, carefully, turned his head to look at Edward.
"You know, you're going to need to name him." Edward commented. I looked to the dog and his dingy black coat. It looked like it had been white or grey at one point, but had become black with exposure to the elements.
"Thor."
They looked at me. I patted his head.
"Why Thor?" Alphonse asked. I smiled at the dog.
"Doesn't he look like a Thor? Besides, Thorium was what I was thinking of. He looks like he might be grey under all that dirt." I said, scratching behind his ear. He leaned into my touch.
"Not a bad name, I guess." Edward said dismissively. I frowned.
"You said he needs a name! Here's a name," I said crossly. Edward glanced at me, and I reminded myself of everything these guys had done for me and bowed my head. "Sorry, that was a bit much."
Alphonse, ever the clever boy, cut in.
"I think it's a great name." I turned to him and gave a small slightly forced smile. He tilted his head in return, and I was guessing that was as much emotion as I was getting out of him.
We got breakfast, and again, Edward paid for everything. Thor and I shared breakfast again, despite Edward insisting he could pay for the dog. I didn't want to owe him that much though considering I still didn't have a way to pay him back.
"So Erin, what was the interest in Alchemy?" Alphonse asked. I swallowed some eggs before replying.
"I want to learn it." I said simply. There was a lingering question of 'why' in the air, but no one asked it. Edward was staring me down again, and the intensity of his eyes made me squirm. He looked away before I could get uncomfortable enough to snap.
"We could probably send you to our teacher. We would take you but there is somewhere else we need to be." Edward stated. I sat still for a moment, until he looked up at me.
For the first time, his eyes held a different kind of intensity to them. A kindness I wasn't aware had been there this whole time.
We ended at the train station, and once again Edward and Alphonse paid for my ticket and gave me some money for food.
"Our teacher will hep you once you get there, just say you're a friend of the Elrics." Alphonse informed me as he handed over a small envelope of money. It was all getting to be too much, and I felt like I was just stealing from their open hands.
"I can't let you give me this too." I insisted, pushing the envelope back. Edward snorted, I looked over to him. He had on a cocky smirk that made my stomach tighten.
"Don't worry about it, I expect payment in full once you're on your feet."
I couldn't believe the kindness these boys were showing me, much less the trust.
"I could be making all of this up. I could be tricking you out of your money." I said, but even I didn't believe it. Showing up a mess, in strange clothes, never heard of alchemy, a foreigner with no recollection of how she got here? No, I think it was pretty obvious I was lost, but still.
The kindness they were showing was above and beyond anything I deserved.
Edward actually laughed.
"Yeah right, those clothes are enough of an alarm bell. You could do better. Besides," he glanced up at his armoured brother. "Al trusts you, that's enough for me. Right Al?"
The suit of armour nodded. I couldn't help but let a small smile grace my features. Edward seemed taken aback by the lack of scowl at first, before a bold smile graced his face too.
"Thank you, I won't forget this." I really wouldn't.
They helped me find my train, and I waved out the compartment's window to them as the train steadily took off down the track. They both waved back, until they were just small specs in the distance. I pulled myself back in and looked to Thor sitting next to me. A tiny ray of hope sparked in my chest. He wagged his tail and patted in excitement.
"Well boy, I think we hit a lucky break."
Edward and Alphonse were mulling around the station several hours after Erin's train left. They didn't really need to be there quite yet, but there wasn't enough time to check in and take another snooze. So they waited, thinking and zoning out. Alphonse in particular was curious how Erin was doing.
"We should've gone with her." He said quietly. Edward, who had sprawled out next to him on the bench, snorted.
"She's fine. She should be a good ways away by now. Besides I gave her enough money to last a few days if something's happened." Edward confessed. Alphonse looked to his older brother, curious.
"You said it was enough to last the trip. Wow Brother, you were really concerned for her, weren't you?" Alphonse taunted, a grin in his voice. Edward scowled at the taunt, but he remembered the defensive nature of the girl, how she looked absolutely terrified when he raised his hands at dinner. He wasn't going to hit her, but she looked like she expected him to.
She'd seen a lot, that was for sure, and it nagged him that she was out there alone. Should they have gone with her? Probably, but he really did have somewhere he had to be. He was supposed to report to the Colonel in a few days, and he was already a day late since they stayed an extra night. Not that he was about to tell Al or the girl that he had been intending to leave though.
A couple walking by caught their attention.
"We are so lucky it left early and I missed it! Can you believe it? We could've been on that train! Oh we better tell my sister we won't be in Dublith until next week." The woman said. The brothers froze.
"Excuse, Miss?" Edward asked as he jumped up and followed them. The couple stopped and looked back at him. "Can you tell us what happened to the train to Dublith?"
She looked down at him, and saw the worry in his eyes. The lady felt bad for having to break the news to him.
"Oh, I'm terribly sorry, but the train's been derailed."
Hi everyone!
Thank you to everyone who did review, I will be answering reviews from now on, so if you do have questions leave a review! I'm thoroughly excited to start writing this again and have already started the next chapter. I was going through a stalemate, and decided to read the outline I had planned and- Damn- that's a great story I've got planned. Hoping I live up to my expectations in writing it.
1. Also, anyone wondering, Thorium is a silvery semi-mallaeble substance that turns black when exposed to oxygen, which is why Erin calls the dog Thorium. He was originally called Benjamin, after my dog, but i thought this was more dorky.
So Erin is on her own now! Or not. Wonder what happened to the train? Find out next time!
Also, I've got a couple people who PM'd me asking if Erin is going to be like this for the whole book, and honestly, no. I am no a fan of unchanging or NON-growing characters. I have read great books that have a character that remains relatively the same throughout the books, and while the book may be great, the character is not. That ruins the story for me.
FMA is all about growing, about getting your knowledge from more than one place, from learning to accept being a human being and understanding that you can grow bigger as a human without trying to be God. There are going to be a lot of over-arching themes about accepting the past, moving forward, and growth, and Erin is no exception to that.
Also, can we all have a collective groan that NONE of my favourited stories are being updated?! I mean I have 9 authors I watch and no one has updated in at least 2 months! I hope they are well, but man! This is making me go stir crazy!
Thank you all for reading! i hope you enjoyed it. Until next time!
Iland Girl