~.~
-THE OUTSIDER-
by Iland Girl
'for those in search of home.'
A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction
I don't own anybody but Erin... for now...
Chapter Six: To Live With
"Time doesn't heal anything, but it does teach us how to live with the pain."
― Unknown
The train ride to East City was a full 36 hours, and I was hating every second of staying on the train. I was confident that bastard as going to show up again and chase me down. No such thing happened, but that didn't stop me from glancing around to make sure nothing was going down around us. Alphonse caught on and assured me I was safe now, but that only mildly settled my nerves. Edward sought to curb my attentions with other things.
Like food.
Lots and lots of food.
Once again, I was faced with the startling fact that Edward could eat a lot. No, that would be putting it mildly. Edward could eat a horse and then polish off three chickens afterwards. He caught me staring once, but I backed down immediately to avoid any conflict.
Alphonse never ate in front of me, but they conveniently always got food when I was getting up for a stretch, and they assured me Alphonse ate before I got back. I didn't ask more than once or twice, and after that I realized there wasn't going to be a straight forward answer.
Thor and I ate our meals together, I often sacrificed any meat to him, and he happily followed at my heels. The brothers both tried to get me to eat more, but I wasn't about to eat more than my fair share now just because we were staying together for a little longer. Thor seemed just happy to hang out and cuddle. Not to brag or anything, but I also think I taught him how to use the toilets like a human….
We chatted a lot on the train, and I learned a good deal about the brothers. Edward was 15, Alphonse 14. I myself was 16, but I couldn't shake the question nagging the back of my head.
Where were their parents?
Maybe this world was different, but how could a parent just let their two sons run off? Again, I was stuck with the dilemma of 'don't ask, don't tell'. So again, I shut my mouth and carried on like nothing was wrong.
Alphonse told the story of how Edward was military, as a state alchemist, and how he got his certification as the youngest state alchemist in history at the age of 12. He explained the governmental systems, and I was careful not to sound like I knew absolutely nothing. It nagged me though, why a 12-year-old would think becoming a state alchemist was necessary, why all this travelling was necessary. While I had my respects for the obvious intelligence both brothers possessed, Edward having no problem bragging about being an alchemist, I had my reservations about the entire situation.
I shut my mouth though, and when it came time for them to ask me questions, and I politely evaded them, they followed to the same code. I told them snippets about my country, how it functioned. I even distracted them by offering to teach a little bit of English to them. Fun little words that didn't hold much merit, but they might think of now and again.
East City arrived after the brutally long train ride, and I briefly wondered if I would have to suffer through that again. Edward, unlike before in the previous city -I should get the name of that place eventually- looked like he was on a mission to get to Eastern Command. Alphonse explained he had to report to his superior, the Colonel, and that their funding came from him indirectly. I had to hold my tongue to ask 'funding for what?' And instead followed along quietly. Thor with me every step of the way.
I found it odd, how they let us all in, but Alphonse and I had to wait in the hallway while Edward was escorted inside. I didn't think too hard on it, instead petting Thor and listening to Alphonse chitter on about more alchemy information.
"Well, that's a really big dog you got there."
We all turned to look at the approaching man. I thought it was strange how familiar he was acting, but then he paused and looked a little embarrassed.
"Sorry, I thought you were Ed, wearing his coat and all." The man explained, but didn't seem deterred. I looked to Alphonse for clarification.
"This man is Colonel Hughes. He's a friend of ours." Alphonse explained. I nodded, turning back to the man and giving a small bow.
"Pleased to meet you, sir. I'm Erin." I said softly. Hughes stared for a second, then grinned.
"Well, aren't you a cute kid. So, I take it Ed's talking to Roy then? Hope he's not getting too rough of a time in there." Colonel Hughes said, making me briefly look over to the door where Edward had disappeared some time ago.
"So, not only are you late, you also failed to find Doctor Eastrin."
Edward was ready to punch the Colonel in the face for the tenth time that hour. He wasn't above exploiting a new plan to try, but the idea that a punch to Roy Mustang's face would make him lose all his funding made him falter.
The thoughts just kept rolling though.
Roy dung in just a little deeper. Ed was ready to start picking fights, but he was doing his best to quell his temper. Roy had other plans.
"Tell me, I hear there's another tag along to your party. Is she your girlfriend?" Roy taunted. Edward turned red, ready to rip that ugly smug smirk off the Flame Alchemist's face.
"No! She's just a girl we met!" He defended, but there was no deterring the Colonel. The superior shrugged.
"Honestly Full Metal, giving her your jacket will only make it more obvious." Roy teased, but Ed was flailing in his seat as he did his best not to punch the man. Ed remembered what he came here to say though, and stopped. Mustang caught the change, and looked at him with mild curiosity.
"That's actually what I came to talk to you about." Edward said. Roy waited for him to continue, but the blonde glanced to the third member in the room. Riza, he almost forgot his lieutenant had been standing beside him as he taunted the little alchemist. His lieutenant didn't need another cue though, as she stepped outside. She was a smart woman, she knew what she should and shouldn't say, what not to be part of.
A few moments after Riza left, Edward began to explain. He started with the train wreck, saying how he didn't think it was coincidence at all that that specific train crashed. Roy wasn't convinced, so Edward explained there was a strange girl on that train. They had specifically helped this same strange girl out. She didn't make a lot of sense, having a foreign accent and knowing a language he had never heard of, no money or means to care for herself, strange clothing, and was completely alone.
"I think….. I think whoever crashed the train was trying to get rid of her." Ed finished his explanation. Roy had quietly listened to this the entire time, but even he could see Ed was grasping at straws.
"That's a heavy accusation. Did you ever think that maybe they were after someone else? Did you search the entire train?" Roy asked, immediately seeing the back track in Ed's gaze, but the boy steeled and stood strong.
"Look, why don't you meet her for yourself? She's really…. Well she's really weird." Edward finished lamely, not sure what descriptors to use for the strange girl that seemed to come from nowhere.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye," Roy called loudly. Riza opened the door. "Bring in Full Metal's new friend. Alphonse Elric too."
"Sir, unfortunately I can't do that." Riza said with a salute. Roy found that curious, while Ed was getting pissed off again.
"What do you mean you can't?" Ed demanded more than asked to know. Riza looked to him.
"I'm afraid they've been, I quote, 'kidnapped by Colonel Maes Hughs for lunch time' sir."
"I hope you're hungry! We've got quite the selection of sub-par cafeteria food available! It's nothing like the food my Gracia makes me, but it must do when you have to work perilously."
Colonel Hughes talked, a lot. A lot a lot. I think for every five words Alphonse or I said he spoke a thousand. I wasn't completely against it though; he was a cheery man who seemed genuinely happy. He spoke of his daughter so fondly it actually melted my heart. It hurt at the same time, as memories of my own parents would surface.
"You okay there, Erin?" Hughes asked me as we sat down with a meal. I felt a bit bare in the cafeteria, Thor having to sit and wait for us outside. I wanted to talk more, but the tightness in my chest prevented me from doing more than assuring Hughes I was alright and forcing myself to eat to stop from talking. Hughes carried a conversation with Alphonse, and I watched quietly as they spoke about light subjects. I could tell that Hughes was testing the waters, glancing at me, and I got the feeling he knew more about the Elrics than I did. Something was evaded at each piece of conversation.
He turned to me then, all beaming and happy.
"Oh but enough about me! Tell me about you Erin." Hughes insisted. I felt put on the spot, not wanting to actually talk about myself. I looked down to my bowl of soup.
"Um, well what did you want to know?" I asked softly. Hughes waved off my shyness.
"Oh anything at all! Tell me about your dad! Aren't dads just awesome? Not to brag or anything but I'm an amazing dad." Hughes said in a flurry of joy and emotion. I couldn't help the small smile that slipped onto my lips.
"Yeah, Dad's are really awesome." I said under my breath. They must've heard it though, as both were looking at me when I looked up. I hesitated, but the memories were flooding in already, I couldn't stop.
"My Dad was amazing. He was gone a lot, so I didn't get to see him too often, but when he was home, he would spend every waking minute with us. He taught me a few languages, he taught me how to decode, and I learned all of my scientific knowledge from him. I remember one time, we went to the lake, Brayden, my younger brother, was afraid to swim. My Dad turned to me and said 'as the big sibling, you gotta watch out for Bray, Erin. You gotta take care of him. It's your job.' And I took it seriously, and spent the entire day watching out for my baby brother. And I remember at the end of the day, as I helped tuck Bray into bed, he-"
I caught up with my words, realizing where I was and who I was talking to. This wasn't some sort of stupid AA meeting where we confessed our deepest, darkest secrets. This was just three people eating lunch together, and here I was, spilling my deepest darkest secrets like it was something more.
I panicked, jumped up, and gave a quick bow.
"Excuse me, I need some air." They both called after me but I bolted; not evening caring that I almost knocked several people on my way. Thor was waiting for me, and like he just knew what was wrong he waited patiently for me to latch onto him and sniffle into his fur. I couldn't take it as the memory played in full, and I remembered my father gently patting my head and smiling down at me while praising me and saying how he was so proud to be my father.
How could he be so proud of me now though? Proud of me for being this disgrace of a person who wanted to do nothing more than run away from everything and hide.
"Come on boy, let's go for a walk." I said while wiping my tears and standing upright. The tears kept coming though, and it only made me more frustrated as I started to walk away. "Stop crying stop crying… Dammit!"
It was raining outside now, making me stop wiping my tears and just embracing it as the rain falling across my skin. The rain was coming down harder, but I didn't have it in me to care anymore. One glance at Thor reminded me that he may not like the rain. I patted his head; he looked up to me.
"You don't have to follow me, I can go for a walk on my own." I insisted, looking up at the overcast sky. Thor whimpered next to me, licked my hand, and stayed right beside me. I couldn't help but smile at the loyalty of this dog. He had intelligent eyes too, like he was completely aware of what I was telling him. Whether that was true or not, I'm not sure, it was the thought that counted though.
So together, in the down pouring rain, we walked. For a brief moment though, I felt a bit bad that I was getting Edward's coat wet, but it would dry off.
Wasn't like I was tearing it up.
Alphonse and Maes were wandering the grounds in search of Erin. Despite Alphonse telling Maes he could handle it, the man wasn't going to listen to any of that.
"No way am I letting that slide. You don't have that kind of look from a happy childhood." Maes said, recalling the look of absolute horror, of pain, that Erin showed when she realized what she was telling them both. It was a stark contrast from the brightness she had second prior as she spoke of her family.
Alphonse had to agree to that, wondering if the parental instincts had kicked in for the father. Al himself was curious about it all. She was so guarded, but it didn't seem like she wanted to be. Scared would be a better word. Scared that they would do something with that information? He didn't know, but what he did know was Erin definitely didn't know her way around. His first instinct was to go back to his brother, seeing as that would be the only way Erin would know to go.
So they went to Roy Mustang's office, but were unfortunate to only see Ed there. Edward glanced over, looking every bit annoyed with them.
"Where the Hell did you guys run off to?" Edward whined, looking two parts bored and one part pissed. Al didn't have time for his brother's mood swings though, however Maes Hughes was still gung-ho for some goading.
"Sorry Edward Elric! I took it upon myself to feed your girlfriend!" Maes taunted to the already exhausted elder brother.
"For the last time she's NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!" Edward shouted loud enough to make Maes rub his ears.
"Well you sure are defensive. Here I thought she was you at first too until she turned around and gave a shy smile." Maes said under his breath, making Al laugh. Ed fumed, but Hughes quickly switched gears when he saw Roy.
"By the way, since I've got you both here, there's something you should know."
"Well, I think we've gotten lost Thor." I said while scratching the back of my head. We were definitely not near Eastern Command anymore, but that didn't completely deter me, as we weren't in some big hurry to get back. I was pretending it was a tour of the city. Self-guided of course. The rain wasn't letting up, and I was starting to get a bit cold. Thor looked unaffected at least.
"Maybe we should stop somewhere and just wait. Alphonse will come find us, right bud?" He barked in agreement, making me smile.
"You, in the red coat."
I looked over my shoulder to see a man approaching.
"Scar? That's all you've got on him?" Roy asked, staring his friend down from across the desk. Maes adjusted his glasses.
"That's all eye witnesses will say. A man with a huge scar on his face. We followed him from Central to here." Maes explained, and the other occupants of the room were all quiet with thought.
"I've heard stories about him." Roy said, thinking of the tales of murder and rumors of state alchemists dropping like flies.
"He's killed five state alchemists in Central before fleeing, body count nationwide is up to ten as far as we know. He took down old man Basque Grand right before he left." Maes said, making Edward and Alphonse both a bit nervous. It might be a good idea for them to hide away while this whole thing took place.
"The Brigadier General?!" Edward exclaimed, looking to his younger brother. Both mentally agreeing they weren't leaving the building today.
"Exactly, nobody would be angry at you two for laying low until he leaves." Hughes insisted. Edward thought on it, thinking it might not be a bad idea to do that. Then it dawned on him they were short a member.
"Hey, where's Erin?" Edward asked his brother. Alphonse gasped.
"That's right! We were looking for her just before we got here! She ran off again," Alphonse explained, looking to Hughes. "We should go find her."
Roy put a stop to that immediately.
"No way, you two aren't leaving here. It's not safe for either of you to be walking around. I doubt Scar will go after this girl, so we will get a search party organized of lower-level officers." Roy said in an authoritative tone. It halted Ed and Al in their tracks, but as his words sunk in so did another thought.
Erin was wearing his coat.
"I thought she was you until she turned around…."
"No! We have to go find her!" Ed said suddenly, making for the door. Alphonse automatically following after him. Hughes went to stop him, grabbing his shoulder.
"Now hang on Ed, there's no need-" Edward spun around to Hughes, cutting him off.
"You said it yourself, you thought she as me until she turned around. She's wearing my coat! What's Scar going to think if he sees a blond in a red coat?" Ed shouted, stunning the parent enough that he got out of his col and rushed to the door. He called his younger brother after him, who followed immediately.
Roy took a breath.
Well, this just got messy.
"Sir, shall I go and retrieve them?" Riza asked. Roy shook his head.
"It'll waste more time, and if Scar is going after the girl then we'll have a chance to corner him. Inform Major Armstrong, we'll put together a search party and fast."
I ducked again, evading another well aimed attack on my head. The guy had attacked me, calling me 'Full Metal' before outright trying to knock me down. I had tried getting a word in, but it was pretty hard when you were staring down someone with such a deep intent to kill. Dodging was quite literally all I could do to keep alive as he just kept coming after me.
"Please stop!" I cried, not above begging as he came at me again.
Thor jumped to attack the man from behind, but he turned and grabbed Thor's throat mid leap. Holy crap this guy was quick, but there was something about the way he was looking at Thor that had my last instincts of self-preservation spur to life.
"So, you too are an abomination." Was all I heard from the man before I pushed him. He stumbled, letting go of Thor and giving me a chance to run.
"Thor!" I shouted back to him, and the huge dog came bounding up beside me as we took off down the street. A few officers came into my line of sight, and for a brief moment I thought I was saved as I hid behind one of the cars. They pointed their guns at the man, calling him Scar, and told him to surrender. It was a fruitless affair as I watched the man dodge bullets and grab one of the officers by the face.
Blood splattered everywhere.
He found me behind the car.
Run…..
Thor jumped at him, but he slammed the dog into the car and knocked him out. He continued to advance on me, and for some stupid reason my legs weren't working. I crawled backwards, trying feebly to put space between us.
Run….
He stood in front of me, looking down at me before removing his sunglasses to reveal angry red eyes.
"I'll give you a moment to pray." He said while reaching for me.
Run!
"Scar!"
Scar pulled back just in time as a large wall of concrete came between us. I looked down the street to see Edward standing there at the start of the transmutation.
"I'm the Full Metal Alchemist! Not her!" Edward shouted, preparing himself.
"Erin." I felt a large hand on my shoulder and looked over to see Alphonse crouched next to me. It wasn't until now that I realized how badly I was shaking. Alphonse helped me stand up, pulling me down the street. The sounds of a fight broke out, and I could see Edward and Scar facing off. Alphonse turned me away from it to look at him.
"Erin, I need you to focus. I have to help Brother, if you keep going down this street it'll bring you to Eastern Command. Go there, it'll be safe." Alphonse explained carefully but quickly. He went to step away, but grabbed his hand.
"Wait, you're both not going to fight him…?!"
"We have to, he's dangerous. He has to be stopped." Alphonse glanced down the street, then back to me. I heard something explode and fought the desire to look. "I have to go now, stay safe."
It struck a chord, and as Alphonse ran down the street to help his brother, I was left standing there to relive the last words my father told me.
"I have to go now, stay safe."
"I'm so proud to be your father."
"You're the big sibling, take care of Bray for me."
At what point did I fail you?
At what point did I stop living up to your expectations Dad? When did I go from the big sister who you were proud of, to this? Was it before or after you died? My scar? Before Mom died?
How long have I been a disappointment?
"Dammit!" I cried, a soft whimper coming from next to me. Thor had awoken, there was no need to stay here now. I went to run to Eastern Command, but an ear-splitting scream broke through my ears.
"BROTHER!"
I turned to see a shattering sight of both boys on the ground. I'm not sure how to really put together what I saw, but the suit of armour Alphonse normally wore was torn apart, lying on the ground. The older brother, Edward, was a short distance from him, staring at what used to be his right arm. Except there was no blood, rather there seemed to be wires and pieces dangling from it. A metal arm? That didn't register as anything more than a prosthetic to me, but I didn't have time to really sit on that thought as I automatically started to walk closer.
Thor pulled on Ed's coat which I was still wearing, albeit it was torn significantly now. I looked down at him, and could just sense the 'don't go there!' I couldn't listen to it though as I faintly heard Edward talking over the rain.
"If you kill me, then you leave my brother alone. He's got nothing to do with this." Edward said while leaning back against the building behind him. My eyes widened at such a declaration. That wasn't something I considered the elder brother of ever doing. Just laying down and taking it?
My feet were leading me forward without second thought, the urgency surrounding me as I heard Alphonse desperately calling for Edward to get up and run. He wasn't though, he was just sitting there, taking it. So I found the will to run as Alphonse screamed more and then there was suddenly no space between myself and them, and I didn't know what I was trying to do, but I grabbed Scar's right arm tightly, pulling it away from Edward's forehead.
There seemed to be a half second where no one quite knew what to do, but then Scar tried to shake me off. I held on, not letting go the entire time. He went to punch me, hitting me right on my own scar. I reeled back, falling to my knees between him and Edward as I cupped the bleeding wound.
Still, in some manic sensation, I felt a laugh coming on. A short one, with no humour attached save for the humour that I was literally going to die all because I was too dumb to run off.
"Girl, you were saved not ten minutes ago and now you willingly throw your life away for sinners. Perhaps the weight of your own sins spurs you to do so. Stay down, allow me to pass judgment on Full Metal and I will spare you." Scar said in a deep, angry voice. It was a voice that had felt pain before, that was something I could recognize.
"Yeah well….. People have been knocking me down for a while now," I said, trying to get back to my feet. "I guess I'm getting used to it."
"Very well, then I shall pass judgment on you first!" He took a power step forward, his hand coming for me. I flinched, bracing myself for a brutal assault. It didn't come though, as a loud gunshot pierced the silence.
"That's enough! We're taking you in Scar!"
We all looked over to see Roy and several officers standing with him. His arm was raised overhead from using the firearm.
"Do not interrupt me, for I am acting as a servant of God and carrying out his holy decree." Scar announced, going to turn back to me. However, a large figure loomed behind us.
"Then perhaps you would like to answer to me! Alex Louis Armstrong! The Strong-arm alchemist!" I fell backwards onto my butt as the giant of a man came flying past us, knocking Scar away. An arm steadied me, and it took a moment to realize I had fallen back against Edward. I looked at him, then remembered he had been hurt and pulled away to check. In the back of my head, I could hear the battle getting further and further from me.
"You! Are you alright?" I asked, seeing he had lost his other jacket in the battle. It fully showed the mechanical arm that was connected all the way up to and including part of his shoulder. I hesitated, then look up to him, but Edward was already pushing away to go to his brother.
A giant explosion rocked us, and I turned to see a hole in the ground. All officers were still present, but Scar had vanished.
"Al!" Edward called, I looked back to them, he was running up to the empty suit of armor.
Wait, why the empty suit?
Imagine my surprise when the empty suit of armor clocked Edward in the face with a fist.
"Ow! Why are you hitting me?" Edward shouted. The suit flailed again, but then the arm fell off.
"Oh great! I've lost my arm! And you! You almost died! Why would you do that?! Why didn't you get up and run?!" Alphonse shouted. I could only stare, trying to see if my eyes deceived me when I saw the armor move and act the same way it had before.
It suddenly clicked.
Edward not removing his white glove.
Alphonse never eating, or needing to rest.
It didn't make a lick of sense to me as to how or why this was happening, but honestly at this point I'd believe in fairies existing if I found glitter.
I slowly made my way towards the two.
"I wasn't about to let you die! We weren't going to be able to fight back!" Edward shouted, kneeling in front of his brother.
"So you just gave up? What happened to getting our bodies back?! How was I supposed to do that on my own?" Alphonse yelled. I stopped beside them. Both of them looked up at me.
"He's right Edward," I said, looking to my feet. "I don't- I don't know you well, and I'm not going to pretend I get it, but... Just giving up like that? You…. You have no idea…."
"I have to go, stay safe."
"You have no idea what that would've done to him!"
I broke down, covering my face with my arm as I collapsed to my knees. I kept my face covered, the only sounds I could hear were the soft patters of rain, my own cries, and soon after, the gentle sounds of an apology.
Hi everyone!
Thank you to the people who reviewed, I definitely appreciate all of them!
So this chapter differs from the original in the sense that I feel it's more realistic. Erin is not super powerful in this chapter, and I would equate this to a child stopping a parent from hitting a spouse. You grab on and don't let go. You put yourself between them. And I really think this chapter makes Erin so much more badass than she was in the original. The original had her attempting to fight Scar, but honestly, someone being piss scared and still trying to stand between them? That's pretty powerful to me.
So yeah, thank you all for reading, please review and let me know what you think. Do you miss the original? I've heard this version has more charm, and maybe that's because I'm writing as someone who has a clear understanding of what it means to be in despire and having dug herself out, compared to the person I was when I started writing. So drop a review, and remember!
You're not alone, my little Outsiders.
Please stay safe and healthy.
Iland Girl