~.~
-THE OUTSIDER-
by Iland Girl
'for those in search of home.'
A Fullmetal Alchemist Fanfiction
I don't own anybody but Erin... for now...
Chapter Eight: The Aches
"Some people see scars, and it is wounding they remember. To me, they are proof of the fact that there is healing."
― Linda Hogan
Living in Eastern Command was very strange.
I was staying with Riza Hawkeye, who was pretty terrifying when you got down to the nitty gritty of the woman. She had a cute dog named Black Hayate, who Thor played with a lot, and she had a kindness to her in everything she did.
She also carried a gun and had one within reach all times around her house. I was washing the dishes and unfolded a towel to the lovely surprise of a semi-automatic dropping on my toes. Needless to say, I requested to know what else I shouldn't touch to save my limbs from more harm.
Riza was welcoming though, despite myself literally dropping from nowhere and interrupting her life. She made me feel comfortable and did her best to accommodate me at every turn. Not that I needed nor wanted much, but it was a kind gesture. I also got the feeling that this was a woman used to working with people scared by sudden movements or loud sounds. She was calm and forgiving for any flinching, and always patient. The first two days I idly just stared at the walls of her living room most of the time, trying to figure out how my life had been flipped so easily. Sleep wasn't easy, but she never patronized me or bothered me when I was still sitting awake in the dead hours of the morning.
Sometimes she was up at those times too.
When I did manage to sleep properly on the third day, with Thor gently licking my fingers while he laid on the ground next to the couch, I fell asleep moments after Riza had woken up for the day at four in the morning. Which meant I too had to rise for the day and prepare to head to the command centre with her.
Black Hayate was loyal and calm, and ridiculously well trained. Riza had informed me that his barks had meaning, and that she had trained him to alert her to intruders or other persons arriving. She assured me she had never had to use him to inform her of an intruder and that I was completely safe, but I doubted I was safe so much as nobody would get past Riza Hawkeye and live to tell the tale.
Thankfully she gave me some well-fitting clothes after the first two days of nearly tripping in the too large of clothing. I had dark trousers that had a higher waist, a form fitting white tank top, a grey button up, and a dark green jacket that Riza gave me. I really liked the jacket, as it went down to my mid-thigh and was quite warm. It reminded me of the military fashion back home, with a lot of buttons, pockets, and a thick fabric to block out the cold. I was still in my black sneakers, and there was no way I was giving them up for any reason. They were extremely comfy and didn't stick out like the rest of my old clothing.
Said clothing had been placed in a suitcase in Riza's closet at my request, possibly the only thing I requested of her. I couldn't bear to throw them all away, even if they were torn and had no purpose.
They were the last things I had to call my own. The only reminder that I didn't belong here.
Most of my days were spent quietly reading, that was at least until Maes would crash the party and ask me to join him for lunch. He'd force me to eat, chatting away as though I was actually engaging in a conversation with him. I cottoned on pretty quickly that if I wanted to go back to reading, I would need to eat. And the faster I ate, the more happily Maes Hughes would chitter about how the day had been.
He was a good father; I could tell that even as a stranger to him. The way he looked at his photos of his wife and kid made my heart clench. I imagined my father holding the same look in his eyes as he stared at a photo of his family. My heart would swell then.
"What-" I caught myself asking Maes a question. He insisted I called him Maes and that I was more than welcome to be informal with him. I knew he saw me as a lost kid and was taking pity on me then.
Maes stopped his chitter and looked at me. This had been the first time I spoke back to him. Three days in and I had only nodded or assured him I was listening, but I never asked him any questions. I never added any input. Out of reflex, when he told me that Elicia had taken a liking to music, I wanted to ask him more.
"Please continue! I didn't mean to cut you off." He assured me, his eyes gentle and warm. I barely caught them before looking back at my food, biting the inside of my cheek as I stiffened.
"The music... What instrument... Does she play?" I asked. Maes hummed for a second, then out of my peripheral I saw a huge grin split onto his lips. I looked up, feeling encouraged, as he continued.
"She wants to play the piano! I told her it would be lovely, but Daddy can't find her an instructor that isn't costing an arm and a leg right now!" He sighed, stirring his plate of food up. I idly wondered if he was just sitting here to make sure I ate something. I copied him, gently stirring my own food.
"Yeah, she'd need a good instructor. But you could buy her sheet music to practice reading, and she can learn to associate keys to sounds." I bit the inside of my lip, but then looked up to see Maes smiling still.
"You play piano Erin?" He asked, leaning in slightly. I stiffened, but willed myself not to run. I looked at my food again.
"Piano, guitar, and I-…. I used to like singing." I added on to the sentence quietly, thinking of the past when I would be fearless. When I would jump on stage and act like I knew what I was doing. Even when I didn't, I would act like I belonged there. I would make people stop and turn and listen to me.
Look at me.
It felt so long ago, I didn't even recognize myself in my own memories.
Maes let the topic slide when he realized I wasn't going to give him anything else, but I could tell the cogs were turning in that head of his. I wasn't sure what he was thinking, but there was a sly look in his eyes.
Five days at East Command and I had gotten eased into the routine of the office. There was a small side office connected to Mustang's wing, it was here that he allowed me to idle and read. Out of sight, out of mind, I spent the majority of my days there.
In just five days I had read the entire material that Alphonse had left for me. I had practically gone cross-eyed trying to remember it all, but the reading was a distraction, and I would welcome one of those with open arms right now. In those books I had also found some semblance of the truth. Theorems of Alchemists who thought that they could attach a soul to an inorganic body. Creatures called Homunculi, or perfect humans, could also be made. These theories seemed so far-fetched, but in the same breath I wasn't entirely convinced pixies weren't real now.
It was, I suppose, a method to convey what Alphonse was without actually telling me. A soul bound to a suit of armor. How he got there, how Edward had lost his limbs, I didn't know. It wasn't my place to know.
Thinking of the boys made me pause. They must've made it to their mechanic by now, right? Alphonse had said it was three days by train ride, and then it would be about a week or two of work before they would be back on their feet.
I paused, thinking about that final departure Edward and I had, of his golden eyes shining as he gave me a smirk.
"You've never been in the way."
With a small shiver, I shut my eye and clung to the memory. It was only for a moment, but right after he said it, my whole body felt so light. Not weightless, not even close, but for a half second my burdens felt eased from my shoulders. It was bizarre to me, this tiny guy, he confused me to no end.
It was clear by his and his brother's bodies that they both had faced great loss, I understood this. But-
But how did they have so much... so much life in them?
Suddenly this burning feeling crept up through me, this jealousy that reared its ugly head at two boys who just wouldn't give up on life. I hung my head and let it fall against the desk in front of me, my fingers clenching and unclenching as I tried to imagine a world where I was the one who kept moving. Where I was the one who forced myself to keep moving forward. A world where I didn't drift apart from my family, where I wasn't conquered by my scar.
I could scarcely imagine it.
My eye snapped open, reared my head back, and slammed the book shut shortly after, glaring aggressively at the pages of my latest re-read with ire. I took a long breath as the bandages covering my scar itched at the delicate skin beneath. A clear reminder that I hadn't moved on, moved forward.
I just couldn't picture a world where I was the one saving them.
"You sure you're going to be ok out here? Want me to stick around?" Maes asked me. I took a breath but shook my head.
"No, I- I think I'll be fine. No one's here at this time anyways." I turned back to him, and he hesitated before telling me he would be back in a little while to see my progress. After that, he vacated the yard.
The area I was left in was a sort of outdoor training yard. It wasn't huge but was at least half a football field in size. I had seen those who lived in the barracks using the grounds in the early morning and late afternoon, but around six they normally cleared out.
I wasn't particularly keen on ambling around more than I had to, but one of Alphonse's specific statements was "to train the mind you must also train the body" and so here I was. It started out as me planning to run three laps the first day, and maybe adding a lap each day after that. Hawkeye gave me more suitable workout attire, which looked similar to military training attire. I went for a jog around the arena and nearly died after the first lap. But something, for the first time ever, seemed to be kicking me in the back of the head to just keep going.
Three laps later and I was a broken mess on the floor. A tiny piece of me was proud of my accomplishment of completing the goal I set for myself, but another part of me was furious I only got that far.
"Well, you look like you've had it." Maes' voice drifted from the exit as he waltzed in. He stopped by my prone form and glanced down at me. "I figured you might be done by now and wanted to come check on you."
I wheezed a bit as I forced myself to stand. Maes looked like he was amused, even if I was a bit annoyed by myself.
"I used to run for an hour every morning, this was pretty pathetic." I said lowly, still trying to catch my breath.
"Why'd you stop?" He asked, though it was like he already knew the answer when I looked away. "I know it might not be something you want to hear, but you might run better if you tied your hair back. It does fall in your face a lot."
I froze, then turned my body away from him for a moment.
"Maybe..." I lied, wanting to drop the subject. Maes understood, and instead offered to lead me back to Mustang's office. I appreciated the understanding of the man and followed him once I scrapped myself off the floor like a cracked egg. He walked slowly, waiting for me to catch up and walk beside him.
"You're doing great," Maes' words startled me. I looked up at him, and he glanced down at me with a genuine smile. His voice took a gentler tone than his over the top boisterous one. "I just thought, since no one has probably told you, that you should know you've been doing well adjusting to all this."
I looked down at my shoes as we walked, feeling heat creep up the back of my neck. Part of me understood that, as military officers, these people knew better than anyone else the atrocities of this world. Likely having faced some of their own. However, something always nagged me about how... gentle... they were being about it all.
Well, most of them.
"Why don't we go get some food? As much as I would love to take you to an actual restaurant, we'll just have to settle for the cafeteria food." Maes continued in that gentle tone. I nodded but didn't speak. It was only when we arrived at the mess hall and sat with our meals that I plucked up the courage to ask.
"Why me?"
My heart dropped into my stomach, so I practically glared at my food. I could feel Maes' stare on me and decided to explain myself.
"It's just... Why are you all... being so nice? Was it because you were friends with my Dad? Is there something I just...?" I couldn't put into words what I was thinking.
"You know, in a lot of ways, you really remind me of him." Maes confessed. My gaze snapped up to see a whimsical look about him. He looked sad, nostalgic, like he was remembering something so long ago. He looked at me, smiling.
"How can I say this... Your Dad... Anatol... Well, he's kinda a big deal to us. At least to Roy and I." He spoke, and I clung to every word. When he saw this, he continued.
"Roy and I were both young when we entered the military, and both of us were lacking any strong male guidance. And your dad was that man. Took us right under his wing and helped us out. He was... he was the dad we never had I suppose."
I was surprised by this, but not because of what he said my father did. It made perfect sense to me. Dad was the type that liked to help people. He would go out of his way to help others in need. When I was... scar free... I always thought it was a weakness of his. I always presumed he was wasting his time when he did all of this. But now I understood why he did it.
He was looking for a way to help others away from the pain he likely felt.
"Home isn't a house..." I whispered, looking down at my food.
"Erin? What was that?" Maes asked. I took a deep breath and exhaled with a shuddering laugh.
"Nevermind... I just... yeah, that's totally him." Droplets of tears fell onto my plate. I couldn't stop the pang of misery that hit me when I remembered my father. My loving, kind, and genuine father.
It hurt so much.
That misery carried with me through the day, despite the best efforts of everyone around me. Despite squeezing the life out of Thor and crying into his fur. It felt like a raw wound was exposed right then.
It was later that night, I'm not sure how to describe it, but I had a dream.
There was a stack of memories piled atop one another. It was hard to understand anything at first as things rushed by me in a flash.
Then there was the chair, my vision blurred with red stains in it when I saw it. I could smell my flesh sizzling on my face as the light above me swung back and forth.
But it was the laughter that rung in my ears so loud even when I covered them. It was at this time I might've woken up mid-scream-
But I didn't.
Because he was there.
My father.
He held my hands, my bruised and cut up hands that looked so small in his. I couldn't stop the tears, couldn't stop the agony from spilling out. Because whether it was real or not, he was here, and I missed him so much.
"Dad..." I cried. He looked up at me with those gentle grey eyes I remembered so well. And yet, I couldn't quite remember them. Did they curve like mine, or did I get them from my mother? Was his face how it looked when he was alive, or had my mind filled in the blanks that I had forgotten? I didn't know whether to lament that I hadn't seen my father's face in over a year, not picture nor video nor real, and was already forgetting, or rejoice that I could still picture him at all.
"Erin," his voice was filled with so much love. "I'm sorry I was late."
But you came.
I couldn't speak through the tears.
You saved me.
"I couldn't stop them, I'm sorry."
Don't be sorry. I miss you.
He gently tucked my hands into one of his before slowly pulling me to him, his arms warm and strong, just as I remembered them.
"Dad..."
"You've been so brave sweetheart," his voice broke a bit, he pulled me in closer. "Such a good girl."
I curled into him, despite the agony creeping into my memories, I stayed glued to the memory of him. I wouldn't... I couldn't let him go.
"I want you to keep being strong." He said firmly, despite the slip at the end of his voice saying otherwise.
I can't.
"I want you to move forward."
I can't.
"You can. Because you're Erin Lallier, you're my little girl." He was trembling as he spoke, trying so hard to stay strong. I knew what was coming. I knew now, even if I didn't know it then.
"Wait..."
He pulled away suddenly, looking at me again. He forced himself to smile as he leaned in to kiss my forehead.
Please don't leave me!
"I have to go, stay safe."
Don't leave me!
He turned briskly and left. I tried to scream, to call out to him, but I couldn't.
Because I didn't do it then either.
I awoke with tears but no screams. It was silent while I gathered my surroundings and collected my thoughts. Sitting up, I alerted Thor that I was awake, who whimpered at my distraught look and licked my face.
That was the last time I had ever seen my father. The last time we ever spoke. I hugged Thor closely and cried silent tears for the rest of the night. It was perhaps fortunate, or suspiciously coincidental, that when I stopped my tears that Riza finally awoke, a whole thirty minutes late.
She said nothing, and I said nothing to her either. We went about our normal routine, but this time in the bathroom, I stared at the unused hairbrush Riza had bought me. A week ago, she told me it was only there if I wanted.
I held it in my hands for the first time.
It was just hair, I knew that. I knew it wasn't anything to think twice about. But when I brought the brush to my head and ran it through the gnarls, a part of it hit the scar further back around my ear.
I dropped it like it lit on fire, hissing at the sting it caused.
The situation caught up to me, I took a breath, then placed it back.
The rest of the day... it felt different.
Food had a funny taste. It wasn't unpleasant, more so... as though I were tasting it for the first time. The sun came out today as well, the first time since I had come to this city. I caught myself staring at the sunset and staying up to stare at the stars afterwards.
It was also the first night I slept straight through.
Small changes.
I worked on my physical fitness every day, and while it was still pitiful, there was something about it that just kept me pushing forward. Every now and again, golden eyes would pop into my mind, hued by the setting sun. I didn't know why, but it made me work just that little bit harder.
"You've never been in the way."
I ran a little bit faster at the memory and dropped like a pancake onto the ground at the end. But the little victories were better than large defeats, and I would take them any day.
A week into my stay at Eastern Command, I was summoned from my little corner office and up to Roy's desk. He offered me the phone, which I took dumbly before looking at him confused.
"There's a call for you. Alphonse would like to know how you're doing." I at first was nervous he would sit and stare at me, but he instead got up and declared he would be going for a walk. I watched him leave for a moment before answering.
"Hello?" I awkwardly answered. It had been a long time since I had ever used a phone, specifically a landline.
"Erin! How have you been? I hope that reading material has kept you busy." Alphonse's voice was just as cheery as I remembered it being. Something eased inside of me upon hearing that happy tone.
"I- Yeah, I read everything after a few days... I uh, tried to run a bit too... since you said... train the- uh, mind and body thing." I felt so awkward, but Alphonse didn't seem to mind.
There's a pause, and I panic that he's going to hang up.
"Oh yeah! Umm, I had a few... alchemy questions... about the uh- the uh- book."
"Oh! Ok! But you know that Mustang can also answer them for you. He's an advanced Alchemist after all." His tone is still cheery, I hesitated.
"I know," I whispered, giving no other context.
"But I'll be happy to answer for you!" Alphonse adds in just as happily. There's something... tender about his tone then that I can't quite discern.
So Alphonse answered my questions, and we spoke for several minutes more of the texts. It then dawned on me that the noisier of the two Elrics was not there.
"So... How is Edward doing?" I asked gently. Alphonse hummed.
"Oh? Why are you asking about brother?" He was teasing me, for what reason I had no idea, but I simply couldn't get the image of a massive machine fabricating a new arm for Edward, and then getting it surgically reattached to himself out of my head.
"Well... attaching an arm sounds... like a lot." I confessed, my thoughts running a bit more as people with lab coats raced around collecting nuts, bolts, and blood bags to put him together.
Technically, Edward was an android... The intrusive thought was now permanently logged in my brain.
"Yeah, it is a lot. Brother is resting now. They attached a new arm this morning and he's been out for a while." Alphonse explained. I played with the phone chord a bit, imagining the process being pretty damn gruesome. I did not envy Edward.
"Well, hopefulyl it went well... So... does that mean you're... fixed?" I asked, unsure how to say it properly. Alphonse sighed.
"No, I still don't have my arms even. Winry was kind enough to hold the phone for me though." I heard a girl's voice come through in confirmation and froze.
"O-Oh I'm so sorry! I've been keeping you both..." I felt awful, but Alphonse immediately argued back.
"Absolutely not! You're keeping me company too! Brother has been the only person to talk to since Winry and Granny have been busy making Ed's arm, and I... I missed talking to you."
My heart swelled.
"I...me too."
I missed you too.
When I was younger, my mother taught me to meditate. I had put it aside for so long to evade having an empty mind, evade the chances of... of intrusive thoughts pouring into my head.
But now meditation seemed like the perfect alternative to overthinking. Something that had been happening a lot lately. I decided just five minutes was enough at first, and so I added it to my cool down after running. Running wasn't going the greatest, but it was improving slowly, or at least not getting worse.
What was a definite change was that Roy had come to interrupt me in my little cubby one day.
Mustang had, for the majority of my stay, avoided me. Whether because Maes hinted he should leave me alone after that- ahem- interrogation, or if he simply didn't want to speak to me, I wasn't sure. What I did know, is that every single day he had made zero attempts to even talk to me after that, until today.
"Look at you, reading books upon books in a mad dash to learn more on Alchemy." There was something patronizing about his tone. I looked down at my crossed legs and the stack of books in front of me.
"Tell me again, why is it so urgent that you learn? What was the reasoning?" Asked commanded rather than asked, at least with the strength of tone he used.
I didn't answer him at first.
"It's important." I said shortly.
"In what way?" He pressed.
"To get me home."
He stayed quiet after that, calculating my words.
"Here," he said. I looked up to see him holding a book out to me. I hadn't even noticed it tucked under his arm when he walked in. "This was one of the books Anatol left here. I thought you might be able to decode it. Considering you were his daughter."
I took the book carefully, turning it over to read the first page. I was surprised to find it wasn't coded, instead it was written in phonetically correct English.
"It's not coded, it's in a different language." I said, reading the first few lines, before becoming confused. "It's just the tale of two lovers. A bedtime story he used to read me."
"I see." Is all he says. I peeked up at him to find he looked... disappointed. Perhaps he was hoping for something else...?
"Did you... Why did you think this was something else?" I asked slowly. Roy looked mildly surprised at me, but then settled back to his usual look.
"It's nothing..." He hesitated. "Anatol worked with a team of researchers the last few years. One of them, Dr Eastrin, has recently gone missing."
And it all made sense.
He was hoping that this would give him some answers as to what had happened. I looked down at the book I held so carefully in my hands.
"Sorry." I whispered.
He left me sitting there quietly.
Day ten of my stay, and I was feeling ballsy enough to try alchemy for the first time.
I drew my array, citing off the different alchemical symbols as I went. When creating an array, you essentially wanted it to act as a formula sheet. That way even if your attention waivers, you don't lose the entire process and leave it up to chance.
Then I placed a piece of torn cloth in the middle. After a few deep breaths and a quick over review of the steps and processes, I placed my hands on the circle. Almost immediately the array buzzed to life. Light filtered between the lines and my focus wavered slightly. I returned to the task at hand then.
The entire process was maybe five seconds, but at the end of it I had a singular piece of cloth that never looked cut or frayed. I felt a buzz of excitement. Despite it being so far off from what I had seen others do, this was... this feeling was...
Godly.
I left my small cubby in the hopes of getting to use the phone. I wanted to tell Alphonse. I wanted to show my pride in what I had learned in just days. To my surprise though, Roy was on the phone with someone. He looked at me as I entered and a smirk fell to his lips.
"Oh look at that, I'll have to cut you off Fullmetal, there's someone here to speak with you. Sorry to keep it so short." He beckoned me over and handed off the phone. I, like before, took it dumbly, before he made his exit with haste.
Fullmetal had been the name given to Edward, wasn't it? It was what Scar yelled constantly at me when he chased me around. Faintly, I could also hear someone yelling on the other end. When the shouts ceased, I lifted the phone to my ear.
"He-Hello?"
"Oh, is this Erin?" I could recognize Edward's soft voice immediately. It returned to normal quite quickly once he heard me.
"Y-Yeah. How... How are you? I heard your arm reattachment went- uhm, well." I said gently, biting my lower lip. He chuckled a bit.
"Yeah I guess so. Winry kicked my ass for bugging her during the build, but the arm is attached and good to go! Oh, Al wanted to let you know he has his arms back now. We're about ready to head off again."
Winry was mentioned again. I wanted to ask about her, who she was. They spoke so fondly of her that she sounded like a sister or childhood friend, but I felt it might be a bit intrusive.
"I'm glad- oh! Not that you got your ass kicked- well not- uh- I'm happy you both have arms again!" I blurted out, feeling my face turn bright red with embarrassment.
Edward was quiet on the other side of the line, and for a moment I thought I had said something bad.
Then he laughed, and all I could do was stand there and listen. He had a beautiful laugh, one that didn't sound like he did often.
"What the hell? Damn, yeah me too. Sucks wandering around without one. I'll admit that." His tone was airy and lighter than before. It made me feel a bit calmer, much like how Alphonse made me feel.
"Oh!I forgot! I needed to talk to Alphonse!" I said suddenly. Edward hummed.
"I think he's out with Granny. If it's a question I can probably answer, but if it can wait he'll be back later?" Edward asked. I waved my hand as if shooing the question away despite him being miles and miles away.
"No, it's fine. I just wanted to tell him I did a little alchemy is all."
"... Really?"
I hesitated.
"Wow, it took Al and I a few weeks the first time we tried." Edward seemed to be thinking a bit more. "We were only kids back then though."
Back then? You're kids now.
I wanted to say, but I didn't.
It felt a bit like he was... he was teasing me, wondering if I would take the bait.
"I'm not surprised. Alphonse is a good teacher. He taught us both quite well." I attempted back. Edward didn't catch it quite at first, humming in agreement, but then-
"Hey! No way. I'm the older brother, I taught him!" He hesitated, and I could hear something else in the background that sounded like a girl speaking. "Shut up Winry!"
I giggled briefly at the sound of insult coming from the small boy. It was brief, but genuine, and I indeed felt lighter than I had in a while. He went quiet, listening to me as I collected myself.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to laugh, but it was just so..." I snorted a bit when I heard Edward grumbling.
"Ah, since you're on the phone, I should let you know. We're coming for that visit." Edward spoke with confidence out of nowhere. I was taken aback, not expecting to actually see them much anymore.
"... Really?" I asked in a small voice. Another small chuckle.
"Yup! Al won't shut up about coming out to Eastern Command. And- I guess we can since I gotta give an update to the Colonel since he won't take an update over the phone. Something about having to be in person. I think he's just trying to make us get moving." He was grumbling again, but the thought of seeing the brothers once more brought a smile to my lips.
"Okay, I'll see you soon then." I spoke softly, nerves creeping into my voice.
"Y-Yup! Before you know it!"
We said our goodbyes as I hung up the phone. A small smile still playing at my lips. The silliness of the phone call left me a little lighter than earlier, as I heard the door open, I straighten to thank Roy for giving me a chance to speak to Edward-
Only, it wasn't Mustang.
It took a second, but I recognized the man before me. My blood ran cold as he gave a little smirk, tipping off the military hat and staring me down with purple cat eyes.
It was the man from the train.
"Well well, let's see you escape this time. Lallier."
Hi everyone!
Guys IFINALLY updated. Oh my gosh you have no idea how many times I went back to my outline and went "but I hate it' or 'no that;'s not right' and just gave up. And then, literally out of the blue today, I just stopped what I was doing, sat down, and wrote this out in a few hours. I havent written in a while, and when that happens thing get so messy in my head that it physically hurts sometimes. Buit this came out and- yeah.
So a lot happens in this chapter, and it's meant to be that way because it is one of those chapters that has multiple days passing. Erin is beginning to change! But I am trying very hard to emulate someone who is going through not just the trauma of losing someone important to them, but also someone who is affected by the same traumatic event. I was told, in several dm's, stories that person have gone through traumatic experiences and said this story has helped them cope. And I hope I do the process of healing justice.
I also hoep I got Ed right. He's kinda tricky because he's not necessarily mean, but he is a munchkin sometimes... anyway. I had to hit some serious sad notes to emulate Erin's sorrows, so i hope it came across properly!
Savage Kill: Yeah, I think Erin is trying her best and I think honestly the reason she didn't get hassled more was because Roy and Maes agreed she would be a mess on the floor. There was going to be a scene discussing this but I didn't feel it fit. but theyb agreed not to bother her too much.
Spazster: You will get this! You will! Unfortunately they live in Central so until Erin's travels take her there you won't see it very much!
MeowGenics: Viola! Another long chapter!
GaaraDeservesToByHappy: Yeah I havent updated nothing in so long. This was great to write. Hoping to write some more in my naruto fanfic soon though.
GenaSade: Thank you for the kind review. I think, like many artists, you low key despite your work. It's never good enough. However I do genuinely lvoe the characters and this fanfic. I think the original and getting the story written (at least in my head) helkped me heal from some traumas of my own, and now I'm more ready to complete this.
lillaclilly00: NGL this chapter had way more interactions with them, but I literally just let myself write and go with it and those smaller scenes didnt fit yet. It will happen more with time, I promise.
indescribable music: thank you! I take ti you read the original?
Octopurple: Ah... 2 years later... better late than never?
Crystal-Wolf-Guardain-967: Thank you!
A HUGE THANK YOU FOR THE REVIEWS! It seriously means a lot.
You're not alone, my little Outsiders.
Please stay safe and healthy.
Iland Girl