Miku wasn't sure why she attended the ball Mistress Prima should have but didn't cancel after the events that had taken place. Nearly half the students, Luka included, left the academy to return home. The teachers and professors turned most of their classes into online work so both the students who returned home could continue with their education and the students who remained wouldn't have to leave their rooms more than necessary. Mew was still unconscious, the odds of her waking up slowly fading away. This ball seemed to be nothing more than a massive denial of what was truly going on in the academy.
"A lot of people do stuff like this," Ona said when Miku verbalized her thoughts to her. "When something bad happens, they try to pretend everything's all right. Maybe they ignore the problem and try to live life as before. Maybe they have parties and do crazy things to take their mind off the doom and gloom that is reality. Or maybe they find solace at the bottom of a bottle. Regardless, I can't say I'm all that surprised from Mistress Prima's lack of change in how she runs things."
Studying her friend, Miku wondered for how long Ona worked with Kaito and Master Tonio and what her reasons would be for doing so. There was a lot Miku wanted to ask Ona, but there was never a time or place for it. Not when the security nearly doubled and Miku didn't want to chance sending Ona a message asking to meet her someplace private when their connection could be heavily monitored.
Ona seemed to have thought of this as well, for she didn't try to explain herself to Miku either. Not that Ona owed Miku an explanation, Miku knew. Though it was clear to Miku how Ona wasn't as comfortable with the secrets between them as she let on.
"Don't either of you plan on dancing tonight?!" Gakuko exclaimed as she rushed towards her pair of friends. She had already danced half a dozen times, both with men and women.
"I'm waiting for Kaito," Miku replied as Ona said, "I don't dance."
"Then why do you even come to these balls, Ona?" Gakuko rolled her eyes. "And Lord Shion sure is late. Is everything all right?"
"Considering one of his friends is in a coma in the hospital wing, I wouldn't say much of anything is all right." Miku crossed her arms. "I offered to sit with him, but he insisted I enjoy the party and he would join me later."
"He probably doesn't want you to worry too much," Gakuko suggested. "I mean, worrying causes wrinkles."
Or he has something private he wants to discuss with the others, and Ona was assigned to make sure I don't barge in again.
Miku hated herself for allowing the thought to pass her mind. Even if that was the case, Kaito wasn't the only one keeping secrets. There were so many chances to fall into Kaito's arms, cry, and confess all her aches and struggles, but she never did. A perfect wife held herself together at all times, and Miku could not risk giving Kaito any reason to think she wouldn't be the perfect wife. Smile at the world and cry behind locked doors, or at least she was always told when it came to handling her emotions.
If Miku wouldn't be honest about what she felt with Kaito, then perhaps he was right to keep the things that would make her feel "unacceptable emotions" to himself. After all, he was trying to stop a Juliet rebellion. Although she would never, ever admit it out loud, Miku didn't blame the Juliets for wanting to tear down a society that treated them as objects. A solution to this problem, Miku thought, would be to give Juliets human rights and treat them as equal members of society and not the dirt of it. Of course, the solution most others would think would be to beat the Juliets back into submission, as has been the answer for every uprising in years past.
"If Kaito is to marry you, I want to make sure you're on his level." Kaiko had said all those months ago, when things were simpler.
"If you two get married, you're agreeing to love, encourage, and support each other no matter what," Kaiko had said another time. "Kaito wants to keep things the way they are. Keeping things the way they are doesn't include bettering life for Juliets and giving brown-skinned Alices more opportunities than their pale counterparts. As Kaito's wife, would you be able to support that? Is that something you can go to bed every night knowing it's something you have chosen to encourage?"
Heart sinking low, Miku truly realized for the first time how right the person closest to Kaito was. It wasn't that Kaiko thought little of Miku or didn't like her with Kaito, but she could see a passion within that Miku herself had yet to see. A passion, Miku didn't want to admit until now, that didn't line up with Kaito's.
As she had this epiphany, Miku simply smiled at Gakuko and returned, "I suppose you might be right. I would be less desirable if wrinkles were etched all over my face."
Without giving Gakuko a chance to respond, Miku stalked away. She treaded towards the dessert table and shoved a few pastries in her mouth. As she realized what she was doing, Miku forced herself away from the table and searched for Kaito.
He still had yet to show, but there was one other person Miku knew at the ball.
"Mr. Kagamine," Miku greeted the lone boy in the corner. "It has been far too long since I have seen you last."
Len returned her curtsy with a bow. "It wasn't from a lack of appearance, Ms. Hatsune. On the nights I came since, you were so captured by the attention of the Lord of the Idun District that I dare not approach you. How could I hope for a fraction of your attention when all of it and your affections were placed on this man and this man alone?"
Although she knew it was not Len's intentions, a wave of guilt crashed over Miku. The boy wasn't wrong. In every ball Kaito was present, which was nearly all of them, he was the only one Miku spent time with. Instead of building connections and making friends, she became one of those girls who only spent time with the man she courted. How short-sighted and simple-minded she had been for so long.
"My deepest regrets and humblest apologies," Miku said, curtsying lower than before. "I shall not make that mistake any longer. How about we catch up during a dance or two?"
"What about your partner? Where is he this evening?"
"He shall arrive later, but let's not think of him for now. Please, let us be two friends sharing a dance and engaging each other with nonsensical conversation."
"Okay," Len replied, smiling and offering a hand, "but only because you promised nonsensical conversation."
Miku smiled as she accepted Len's hand. As he led her to the dancefloor, Miku studied his profile. Delicate nose, thin lips, long lashes – he was too pretty to be a boy.
It was halfway into the first song Len asked, "So, what's the deal with appleberry wine? What's an appleberry? I suppose it could just be apples and berries combined, but then why not call it apples and berries wine? Why treat appleberry like a single word?"
Furrowing her brows, Miku blinked. Then she remembered they were supposed to be discussing things that made no sense to discuss.
"I don't know," she answered. "I'm sure the name is just trying to be fancy. After all, appleberry does have a better ring to it than apples and berries."
"So appleberry isn't a real fruit then?" Len sounded disappointed. "How many other things have I been lied to about my whole life?"
"That's nothing." Miku laughed softly. "Do you have any idea how long I spent believing oranges weren't a fruit because orange can't be a color and a fruit?"
"I used to think strawberry seeds were poisonous in large doses, and now I know my father only told me that to keep me from eating too many strawberries."
"My parents keep reading material on their tablets. I thought books were a myth until I visited a friend's house and saw a library for the first time. Turns out my parents are anti-paper."
On and on it went, the two smiling and laughing like idiots as they danced to song after song. Only after Miku realized how long it had been did she search to see if Kaito had come yet. A quick scan of the room proved that he had yet to arrive.
"Is everything all right, Ms. Hatsune?" Len asked when Miku stopped dancing to take in her surroundings, his hands lingering on her soft hips even as he kept the lightest grip on her.
Since the people she did know who were present were engaged with their own activities, Miku leaned close to Len. He blushed as she brought her lips close to his face, and Miku didn't stop until her lips were next to his ear. Strands of his soft hair tickled her cheek.
"I would like for us to speak in private, if that is fine with you," was how Miku answered. She pulled away to see Len nodding. Breaking apart, they walked to an unoccupied balcony, closed the door to lessen the chances of being overheard, and rested their arms on the railing.
For a while, neither spoke. Unable to look at Len, Miku focused on the stars and the three moons. The moons are aligned tonight. Thinking this, she remembered that the last time they were lined up as so was also the night she met Len. Miku laughed without humor at the irony.
Somewhat thrown off by her laugh, Len cautiously asked, "What is it you wanted to talk about in private, Ms. Hatsune?"
Looking into those beautiful cerulean orbs she knew so well, Miku answered, "I wanted to go somewhere I could relax, smile, and say to you, 'Hi, Rin. It's been a while.'"
Rin was at a loss for words. She was at a loss for thoughts. As if that wasn't enough, she was at a loss for air.
Remembering to breathe, Rin took a shaky breath in. What she wanted was to say something, anything. However, when she tried to speak, the only sound she made was exhaling.
"But you're not really Rin, are you?" Miku continued as if she was unaware of Rin's sudden inability to communicate. "After all, it's such an outlandish thing to accuse a person of doing. Dressing up as the opposite sex and going by a different name just to communicate with someone you would normally not be allowed to speak with is just crazy. Who would do such a thing?"
All Rin could do was stare at Miku. Finally, Miku turned to Rin. Miku saw Rin, and not only that, she smiled at her.
"How did you find out?" Rin asked, no longer disguising her voice, after she remembered how to make sounds and form words.
"I only put the pieces together just now," Miku answered, sounding ashamed of herself. "Luka met Gumi because Gumi disguised herself as a boy named Gumo. Learning that, I wondered how many other Juliets did the same thing. I wondered why they would do such a thing. Then I thought, 'To be able to be something other than a Juliet, of course.' Why pass up the opportunity to be a person? It wasn't until I saw Len tonight that I realized he wasn't even real. I saw past the disguise and saw Rin, my dear friend the world would never allow me to have. Now I'm embarrassed I didn't realize who you were sooner. I suppose until now, I was too naïve to ever think anyone would find it necessary to lie about who they were just to receive even a shred of respect."
Unafraid, Rin reached out and took Miku's hand. The Cinderella in turn wrapped her fingers around Rin's. Just being able to touch Miku again, even for a moment, was more than Rin could bear.
"I had to speak with you one last time," Rin admitted, whispering ever so softly. "I had to, even if it wasn't 'me' speaking."
A soft laugh escaped Miku. Staring at the night sky, she smiled as if she had wonderful news to share. "Kaito and I are engaged."
It would have hurt far less if Miku had taken a dessert knife and pierced Rin in the heart. Yet Rin still composed herself and made herself sound happy as she said, "Really? Congratulations! That's wonderful news."
Saying the words, Rin wished she could crawl into a hole and cry until death embraced her.
"Kaito and I decided to not announce it until further notice, however," Miku continued, fingers of her free hand tapping the railing. "Now isn't the best time, with Mew in a coma we're not sure from which she'll ever wake up again. . . . However, Kaito still wanted to give me something to celebrate our engagement, so I told him about the fundraiser and . . ."
Miku squeezed Rin's hand, but it was nothing compared to how hard her split heart was wrung by an unseen force.
"Kaito agreed to buy you!" Miku shared as if it was the happiest news in the world. "You'll get to stay with us, Rin. We will never have to separate again."
It took Rin far too long to process the words. Miku seemed to take this speechlessness as a sign of joy, for she smiled at Rin as if to say, "Yes, you heard me correctly."
Yet when Rin finally understood what was said, she yanked her hand away from Miku's.
"How could you be so cruel?!" she snapped, and Miku's smile fell. "As heartbroken as I was about never seeing you again, it would have been nothing compared to the devastation of having to spend every single day seeing you happily married to someone else."
"I don't understand," Miku muttered, voice soft and breaking. "You aren't happy?'
"How could I be?" Rin was crying, but she did nothing to stop the tears. "I can't live a life where I'm so close to you but you're in love with and married to another. Miku, it would kill me!"
Miku shook her head. Not in disagreement, Rin could tell, but in her struggle to figure out why the good news wasn't as happy for Rin as it was for her. She really didn't understand anything at all.
"Are you jealous?" Miku finally asked, and Rin wanted to throw herself off the balcony. Miku didn't see it. No matter how much Rin willed Miku to, Miku would not see it unless Rin confessed the words she vowed to never speak aloud. "Are you jealous that I can get married but you as a Juliet can't?"
Although Rin tried to not blame Miku for her ignorance, it still cut deeply.
"You don't get it," Rin answered, words strangled as she tried to speak through her sobs. "How could you get it? You really are too naïve to think beyond what you already know."
"Rin," Miku said, reaching her hand out and stepping forward as if to give Rin a hug.
Jumping back, Rin glared at Miku and spat through gritted teeth, "I wish I never met you. The pain you have caused me and continue to cause isn't worth it. Not when it won't give me the mercy of killing me already."
With that said, Rin didn't give Miku another chance to speak. She threw open the balcony doors and fled into the crowd. Tears still streamed down her face, and more than one person saw, but Rin didn't care. Although Rin didn't know if Miku tried to follow her, she twisted and turned in the crowd as if the Cinderella did. When she finally left the ballroom and entered the deserted halls, Rin broke into a sprint as if she could run away from the pain that happened back there.
Rin charged into the Juliet quarters, flung herself towards her room, and threw herself on her bed. Facedown, Rin cried her heart out. She knew it was possible to die from a broken heart, but she couldn't understand why she wasn't dead yet. First Nero, and now this. Perhaps her heart could be broken more than it was already. A sign she was still alive and capable of living, but also a reminder how cruel the world could be even without those she loved most intending to be cruel.
I wish Gumi was still here, Rin thought. Only she would know how to cheer me up. But she's gone, and I need to remember why I'm fighting in the first place.
"I knew I would find you here."
Rin looked up to see Nana, in her uniform, standing in the doorway. Cul, dressed in her male disguise, stood behind her. Both held pity in their eyes as they looked down on her. They knew what Rin was doing that night. Neither had to be told how it went.
"Have you thought about what we talked about?" Nana asked. There was no emotion in her voice. Not because she was apathetic, but because she didn't want to seem that she was trying to get to Rin while the blonde was vulnerable.
"Have you thought about what we talked about?" Not "Are you okay?" or "Is there anything I can do to help you feel better?" Rin trusted Nana wasn't trying to take advantage of Rin's situation, but she wasn't going to feign interest in Rin's pathetic love life when she knew from the start it was bound to fail.
With that and everything, both good and bad, that had happened since the day she first set foot in this wretched academy filled with these wretched people, Rin answered, "I have, and I think you're going to like what I have to say."
"Shoot," Kaito said when he checked the time. "I'm nearly two hours late for the ball. Miku must be upset thinking I have forgotten about her."
Kaito's first errand was to talk to Master Tonio, who had no intentions of attending the ball that night. After their meeting, Kaito decided to pay Wil a visit along the way. Only now did Kaito realize how long his meeting and his visit lasted.
"Is Miku doing all right?" Wil asked.
"Miku's great," Kaito answered, trying with all his might to not call her his fiancée. He really wanted to say the words, but Miku was right to suggest they wait to make the announcement. Too bad the waiting was more painful than Kaito originally thought.
"Oh." Wil frowned. "It's just she visited this morning, and . . ."
Furrowing his brows, Kaito questioned, "And what?"
"Miku's been putting on a lot of weight," Wil said slowly, as if Kaito would get defensive and punch Wil in the face or something. When no fists flew his way, Wil continued, "I know she was a little chubby before, but it was cute on her. Only recently though, she's been getting bigger, and I find it worrisome. Are you sure she's okay?"
Kaito opened his mouth and closed it. Now that Wil brought it up, Kaito realized that what he said was true. It wasn't that Kaito minded the extra weight Miku carried – he never saw women he deemed "too skinny" as attractive – but he never noticed till it was mentioned that her waist had been expanding. The timing of it was interesting, too.
"Do you think she's been overeating as a way to deal with all the emotional stresses going on lately?" Kaito asked.
Frowning even more, Wil answered, "Why are you asking me? She's your girlfriend. You should be the one telling me how she's reacting to all of this, not the other way around."
At Kaito's failure to respond, Wil asked, "Are you there for her?"
"Of course I'm there for her!" Kaito answered, insulted. "I spend as much time with her as I can. More if I can manage. I don't let a single day go by where I don't at least speak with her once."
Wil shook his head. "That's not what I meant."
"Then what do you mean?"
"Are you there for her? Not just physically, but emotionally? Does she come to you when she needs a listening ear? Do you hold her when she can't hold herself? Are you her shoulder to cry on and a pillar to lean on?"
To that, Kaito had nothing to say. He swallowed, too ashamed to speak. Seeing this, Wil sighed.
"It seems you have a lot to learn," Wil said. "If you're to have a healthy marriage one day, you need to be able to be each other's rock and lift each other up when one is knocked down. More than that, you need to encourage, support, and challenge one another. You need to push each other to become better versions of yourselves while loving the messy ones you are in the moment. It's not enough for you to have yourself under control. You have to help her carry her load as you would want her to help you carry yours when the time comes. That's what it means to love. A relationship isn't made of two people who got it all figured out, but of two people working together to conquer the challenges that come your way. You should be not just partners but also teammates. Tell me, Kaito, is Miku your teammate?"
Wil stopped speaking, and after a moment, it became clear to Kaito that the other man had nothing else to say. Unable to speak for himself, Kaito stood from his seat and left without another word. As he walked from the hall to the ballroom, Wil's words circled around Kaito's head.