Author's note: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I'm not J.K. Rowling, you can tell because #transrights
Hogwarts: Assignment #10, Religious Education Task #12 Write about a night that seems endless
Dedication: Lizzy
Warnings: References canon character death
All Night Long
Sirius couldn't hear himself think over the sound of screaming. If the Wizarding World hadn't thought he'd been a murderer for a whole week until the Order had tracked down Peter Pettigrew, his neighbours would certainly think that someone was going down in his flat.
"Harry," Sirius moaned as he picked up the baby for what felt like a thousandth time that night. He'd put the baby down and that had only lasted half a second. "Harry, little mate, what's going on? What's going on, now?"
He repositioned the baby in his arms and rubbed a hand over Harry's back. He sighed, kissing Harry's hair.
"I know, I know," Sirius promised. "I know, this isn't quite what you're used to, but you'll see, we'll make this work…"
He bobbed Harry up and down again as he screamed, desperate to soothe the baby. He looked around the room for inspiration.
He had moved to a bigger flat so that Harry could have his own room, when all the details had been sorted and Sirius had been cleared of all charges. Remus had helped him paint the walls cheerful shades of yellow and oatmeal, trying their best to match the colors to the Godric's Hollow nursery. Not much had been salvageable from James and Lily's house, but Sirius had found a similarly-sized and coloured crib to try and make sure that the room wasn't too unfamiliar to Harry. They'd replaced his storybooks and favourite toys, lining up on a bookshelf that would and stuffing clothes in a dresser. A few days ago, when they'd finished up, Sirius had thought the room looked quite nice. But now, with a screaming baby slumped in his arms, he couldn't help but think of all the ways that this room was different than the one Harry had been raised and loved in so far. The window was on the wrong wall, the door opened the wrong way, the light fixture was dingy…
He sighed and sat down in the rocking chair in the corner, pushing himself backwards. At first he'd thought that this was a stroke of genius; Harry loved getting rocked. But it just wasn't doing the trick tonight.
"Shh…" He kissed Harry's head. "Shh, Harry… you're alright. You're alright. Maybe a bit moody now because you've been up for hours, mate. Sleeping would be…" He yawned. "Sleeping would be good for us, little mate. Night's not endless, just feels that way when you scream. If I were you, I'd take this opportunity to rest..."
He rocked some more, his brain too fried to think of something else to do. He'd babysitted Harry more times than he could count; had put him to bed, soothed him, changed him, dressed him, comforted him, entertained him… He had never truly been alone, though. Lily and James had always been a stone's throw or a few hours away.
As he rocked, Sirius' eyes drifted to the picture of them on the crib's bedside table, next to the lamp. They were sitting at a picnic table in their favourite park, holding Harry and wearing his little arms around. Sirius was the one that had taken the picture—the words James was mouthing were in his impression of Harry's deepest thoughts, which was why Lily laughed and kissed him before they turned back to the camera. It was that image, on a loop.
That didn't stop the baby from shouting, which turned seconds into minutes and minutes into hours. Sirius tried everything. Rocking, bobbing, feeding, singing, burping, changing the baby's diaper or pajamas, offering Harry a soft toy to hold, a toy to chew on…
Sirius wiped at his eyes, exhausted. It was only his first night with Harry and he felt completely exhausted, drained in every way.
Harry wasn't screaming anymore, just crying in his arms.
"Mama," he sobbed.
"I know, little mate," Sirius agreed. He pushed one of Harry's wildest curls away from his face and kept stroking his hair. "I know, I miss her too. And your Dada. I'm afraid you're stuck with me, but I've got you. Don't worry, I've got you."
It didn't stop Harry from crying, but it gave Sirius enough energy to get up from the floor and keep trying.
The next thing he remembered was waking up on the floor, Remus leaning over him with Harry propped on his hip. He offered Sirius a cup of coffee.
"I let myself in when you weren't answering," Remus explained.
"Right," Sirius answered, looking up from the floor.
"Pafoo," Harry babbled.
"Good morning, little mate," Sirius answered. He sat up and accepted the cup of coffee.
"If you needed help, you could have called," Remus pointed out.
"Right…"
"Lily and James were never alone either," Remus added in that to-the-point and frankly honest way of his.
Sirius swallowed.
"I just wanted to do it right," Sirius answered. "You know… prove that I could do it."
"And you did," Remus nodded. He took the cup of coffee back from Sirius and took a sip. "Next time, please call."