A/N: I can already feel the flamethrowers….I promise, I'm not purposely trying to drag this out, but I really love Keeter and Harm together. I really wish they had given his character more scenes in the real show. The title of this chapter comes from the revision of a title sung by Britney Spears. It's about Keeter's outlook on life, not Harm's.

Chapter 5: I'm Not a Boy, Not Yet a Man

Satisfied that he can resume breathing now that he knows her injuries aren't life threatening; Harm decides to go for a walk outside. "Jack, give me your keys so I can toss my uniform in your car. I need to go clear my head, and stretch my legs for a few minutes. Do you mind hanging out down here in case the doctor comes back with her room number before I get back?"

Keeter hands over his keys, "I'm parked about ten rows back in the middle. I don't mind at all. I think it's going to be shift change for the nursing staff soon. You know what that means? New blood!"

Harm laughs with him, "You are incorrigible!"

Jack grins, "Hey Buddy, just because you have taken on a vow of celibacy, doesn't mean I have. I would have killed myself long before I willing allowed a dry spell for the duration you have kept one. And the worse thing is it's self-inflicted, or do your dress whites and gold wings need some polishing?"

Harm sighs, "No the dress whites and gold wings work just fine. I just got tired of being with women that were all show and no substance. Not a single woman I have ever met could hold a candle to Sarah."

Jack inquires, "Not even Diane?"

Harm admits, "Even Diane. While I did love Diane, those feelings were nothing compared to both the pain and joy you feel for your soulmate, and Mac is definitely mine."

Jack ponders this for a moment, before something clicks in his mind, "Hey, wait a minute. I thought you said that you and Mac had never been together that way."

Harm furrows his brow as he replies, "We haven't."

Jack says, "Then how do you know how other women compare to her, in that way?"

Harm responds, "Leading by my libido was fine in my 20's. It just doesn't have the same appeal now that I am in my 40's. I realize that the act is still the same, well mostly, but the feelings that I associate with it aren't the same. Even though we have never been together in the biblical sense, I know that when we finally are, it will surpass any prior experience I have had with any woman. It won't only be a physical thing, it will be soul penetrating."

Keeter ribs, "Face it, buddy, you are just getting old."

Harm states, "Age may have something to do with the wisdom, but Jack, when you finally meet that one woman who owns the other half of your soul, and are willing to own up to that fact, you will understand what I am talking about. I've screwed this thing up between Mac and I so many times, I'm not going to willingly walk away, or let her run this time without a fight."

Jack leaves Harm at the door, "Go out and get some air, you are getting way too touchy feely for my liking."

Harm takes the long trek out in the parking lot to where Jack has parked his Mustang. The extended walk is definitely helping to dull the pain that has taken up residence in his lower back. He really is getting too old to be sitting for any length of time in uncomfortable chairs, and adding a few punch outs to boot just makes it worse. He should probably take some ibuprofen before he heads back in to take up his spot at Mac's side. He doesn't know how long it will take her to wake up, but he has every intention of being there for the duration. He grabs his toiletries bag to keep with him before tossing the rest of his sea bag in Jack's trunk. He wanders around the parking lot aimlessly for another ten minutes, before starting his journey back to the hospital. As he walks, he silently wonders for the second time today, what he is going to say to her when she does regain consciousness. He just prays that the words don't fail to reach his mouth this time.

Harm walks through the double glass sliding doors back into the Emergency room. He finds that Jack is over by the Admin desk, chatting it up with yet another woman. He idly wonders how many phone numbers Jack has managed to rack up today. He gives Keeter a slight nod to let him know that he has returned and goes and leans against a wall, out of the way of the never-ending traffic in and out of the busy emergency room.

Another twenty minutes pass by before the doctor comes to tell Harm that Mac is settled into a room.

Harm turns to Keeter and asks, "Jack, do you want to come up for a minute to see for yourself that she is in one piece?"

Jack replies, "Yeah, I'll go up with you, at least for moral support if nothing else."

Harm says, "Thanks Man, I do appreciate everything you have done for me today."

Keeter thumps him on the back, "That's what friends are for."

Harm and Jack take the elevator up to the fourth floor, and head down to the room that Mac has been assigned. They walk in to find Mac hooked up to only a few monitors. Her arm is in a cast, and she has a bandage on her head, but otherwise she looks like she is peacefully sleeping. When Harm approaches her bedside, he can see that her normally olive complexion has lost its glow, and she has dark circles and puffiness under her eyes. He realizes she had to have been crying before the accident, and not sleeping very well either. All the tell-tale signs are there. He whispers, "Oh, Mac, I'm so sorry," as he bends down to gently kiss her forehead.

Jack pretends not to notice the single tear that he sees Harm shed out of the corner of his eye. He steps behind him, and places a hand on Harm's shoulder, "Do you want me to stick around?"

Harm shakes his head, "No, we'll be alright."

Jack sighs, knowing that Harm is erecting walls again. He might have to call for reinforcements if this starts heading south. He tells him, "If you are sure you are good, then I am going to head out. Just call me when you need a ride."

Harm replies, "I'll be fine. I don't have any intentions of leaving her until after she wakes up. I want to be the first thing that she sees. I'll get my car after I talk with her."

Jack attempts to reason with his longtime friend, "Harm, it could be days before she wakes up."

Harm counters, "I don't think so, Jack. Call it a premonition or intuition or our connection, but she will wake up tonight. And no doubt be demanding answers from me. Unless of course she throws me out of her room, which is entirely possible, but I really hope she gives me at least a chance to explain. She was heading towards me, not running away from me, when the accident happened. I have hope."

Jack gives him a small smile as he points to the figure in the bed, "You know that woman turns you into a sentimental sap, right?"

Harm sits down at Mac's bedside and gently grasps her soft hand with his. He looks up at Jack, "Yeah..and I'm ok with it."

Keeter shakes his head as he bids Harm farewell, "Must be true love."