algernon
"The more intelligent you become, the more problems you'll have."
— Flowers for Algernon
(s1 ep 2)
"One is a photo of your locker. One is a garbage dump in the Philippines. Guess which one is which." Captain Holt looked at Jake expectantly (or what Amy assumed was expectantly, as she still hadn't figured out his microexpressions yet).
Amy fought the urge to throw up in her mouth. How could a human being be so dirty?
When Captain Holt opened Jake's desk drawer and an actual mouse hopped out, Amy actually could feel the vomit rising. What. On. Earth.
Jake looked at the mouse up close as he cooed, "Algernon! He's grumpy," as Captain Holt walked away, and Amy found herself struggling between admiration for Jake's ability to bring light into everything and her unwavering disgust of how absolutely, disgustingly, unbelievably messy he was.
"To be honest, when I pictured myself with a babysitter, I imagined it was a cute blonde named Erica who'd let me eat pizza and stay up as long as I want…" Jake trailed off, a dreamy look in his eyes.
"How old are you in this scenario?" Amy asked, with the same I'm-gonna-puke look on her face. This time it was intentional, though the question that nagged at her uncomfortably was, Does he really prefer blondes?
"I think you should process them, so we can all watch your career end," Amy continued, giving him another one of her signature sweet-poison smiles.
"Alright, I'll put you down for 'Don't Arrest' and your number on every urinal in Rikers."
"I'm not late! I'm on time!"
Amy watched, half-disgusted, half-about-to-laugh-hysterically as Jake unzipped the tent in the corner of the briefing room and stumbled out in his pajamas.
"You're out of uniform, Peralta," Captain Holt admonished.
"Baby steps," Jake answered as he took a seat.
Amy's eyes followed him there, errant thoughts about how adorably messy his hair looked when he'd just woken up.
((She didn't know that she'd get to see that sight every morning for the rest of her life.))