Chapter Twelve

Snotlout found himself standing and dipping his head and gaze low - the formal and respectful way to address a Chief. "Hiccup."

He could hear the cadence of steady footsteps and prosthetic stop before him and the sharp intake of a gasp. "Snotlout?"

Snotlout did not raise his eyes from the floor. He might have been sick if he did.

"He came in with Rodric and the Healer woman," Gobber quietly offered.

"Oh my Thor… is it really you?"

And he felt hands grasp his arms, as if to test that he was not an apparition. Finally and all too slowly, he brought his eyes to the Chief of Berk standing before him.

Hiccup Haddock's face had matured and a short auburn beard adorned his jaw, but the set of sea green eyes were unmistakable. And they seemed… terribly sad and shocked all at once as they searched his own. The man before him had never looked so kingly - with his grim face and a heavy fur cape flowing behind him, the very sort that Stoick had worn, and yet all the same was still the young boy he had known his entire life. He had expected to see a stranger, but it was his older cousin. Snotlout tried to swallow the lump that had formed in his throat, at a complete loss for words.

"Snotlout… you're home. You're finally home."

And then what he least expected happened - Hiccup pulled him into a hug. Snotlout found himself frozen, his blood running cold and the shock of it prevented him from pushing his cousin away. Hiccup's embrace was firm, and Snotlout's mind reeled. Why wasn't he being banished?

There was a nudge at the hand at his side and a hot puff of breath. He looked down to see Toothless peering up at him with big jade eyes, head fins wavering curiously. The Night Fury warbled, appearing quite confused with both Snotlout's appearance and the state of his human. "It's okay, Toothless," Hiccup said and pulled himself from Snotlout, putting a hand to his dragon's head. "It's Snotlout, remember?"

Toothless circled him curiously, meticulously inspecting, and then as if catching some sort of familiar scent or sign, sat on his back haunches and raised his big head to Snotlout's face. For a moment, he was afraid that the obsidian dragon would bite as if he were some unwanted trespasser, but his apprehension turned to shock when Toothless's tongue darted out. It was just a small lick, unlike the smothering sort he had seen Hiccup receive in the past, and then Toothless was back at his human's side, pupils wide and the tip of his tail wagging.

Snotlout was horribly at a loss - the behavior of the Chief of Berk, Gobber and Toothless made no sense to him, and he tried to steady himself to say the words he had rehearsed in his head so many times before: "Hiccup, I know I'm not welcome here anymore. I just want to see my Mother and Father and I will be on my way, I won't be bothering you long."

"What in Midgard are you talking about?" Hiccup blurted, and Snotlout would have been amused at the familiar animated movements the person before him made if he did not feel so ill. "Snotlout… you're home! You're back, and you're already talking about leaving? What happened to you? Where have you been?"

"I-" Snotlout started but the doors of the Great Hall banged open. He heard a sigh come from Gobber: "Aye, news sure does travel fast in this place."

Two people entered the Hall - and one was aggressively storming forward.

"Snotlout Jorgenson," Astrid started through gritted teeth, and her words were strained, "Do you have any idea what you have put us through!"

And she walked up to him fast, footsteps heavy and angry. When she hit him as hard as she could in the chest, he took two steps back under the impact - she was still as strong as she was striking, and he saw that her eyes were wet and her voice broke. "You mutton-head, where were you?"

And just as quickly as she had hit him, Snotlout found himself pulled into another hug. Never in their time spent together had she touched him in such a way. She held him hard despite his unresponsiveness, and it was then he saw who the second arrival was. Valka Haddock watched the scene before her with tender eyes. He was only given a year with his long last Aunt before he was taken away by the slave traders, but she smiled on him and gently put a hand to his shoulder as Astrid still clung to him. "Thank Thor you're back, my lad…"

Astrid finally stepped away and averted her gaze when she swiped at her eyes, joining Hiccup - her husband now, Snotlout realized - and her mother in law. It was then something within him twisted and the scars upon his back and wrists crawled… while he was away being tortured in a strange land, the people before him were making their family complete. He attempted it once more: "I won't be here long…"

"Snotlout!" Hiccup said, taking a step forward and holding his palms wide, "You can't be serious! You can't just… stroll into Berk and then leave us like that! Not after ten years of being missing, when we all thought you were dead!"

"That's the way he's been talking all morning," Gobber said, "As if he aims to leave."

"I just," Snotlout began and his throat tightened. He paused, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath to gain his composure - he could not look weak now. "I just want to see my mother and father. Then I'll be on my way."

He saw a look pass between the company before him and Toothless trilled softly. Something felt wrong and he could not place why that may be. "Please, Snotlout," Hiccup said and his tone was cautious, "We need to talk. There's so much you need to know, and… and we don't want to lose you again."

We don't want to lose you again?

Once more, the doors to the Great Hall were thrown open.

Gobber threw his hand and hook up in exasperation. "Is it too much to ask for a little secrecy around here?"

"Excuse me, excuse me!" Snotlout heard a familiar voice yell out, and Grump the dragon barked in surprise and shuffled away when the person strode - no, waddled - past to reach the gathering in the Great Hall.

Ruffnut Thorsten led the way, and Snotlout found his jaw dropping. Ruffnut barely looked a year older than when he last saw her, grey eyes still set in a slim and fair face, and her hair was even longer and more bundled in an array of knots and braids down to her hips, but her stomach was huge. "Lady with a baby coming through, move over T!"

Toothless grumbled and slunk out of her path as well, seemingly familiar with this sort of treatment from the Viking woman. Snotlout swallowed, preparing himself for whatever words she would have for him - she probably still hated him. Ruffnut paused before him, hands on her hips and eyes narrowed as she inspected him. "Hmm," she said to herself thoughtfully and then thrust her face in his. She was taking her time, and he found himself shrinking back from the set of scrutinizing eyes. "Hmmm.."

And then, as if he passed some sort of strange Thorsten test that he was not aware of, Ruffnut threw herself forward and wrapped her arms around him, the weight of her stomach pressing into him. "Snotlout, what took you so long?" her raspy voice was just as he remembered, and when she pulled back, he saw that the corners of her lips twitched… was she trying not to cry?

"You're…" Snotlout found himself saying.

Ruffnut slapped a hand on her giant stomach. "Ridiculously pregnant? Yes. Yes, I am," she tried to sound casual but her voice seemed on the edge of breaking again, "But, it was kind of a collaboration."

And she jabbed her thumb backwards towards the other two who arrived. Tuffnut and Fishlegs. "Yup, guess who is an Ingerman now? Here's a hint: it's not my brother."

"Oh my Thor!" Tuffnut exclaimed and did a sort of jump and skip, running forward, "Snotlout! It's the Snot, he's back!"

The twin brother smashed into him enthusiastically, his helmet clanging loudly against his chest plate, for Tuffnut threw himself around Snotlout's waist. He still had his usual crooked and toothy smile that Snotlout remembered him by, as well as the awkward posture, but the arms that held him were just a bit stronger and sturdier, the dreadlocks in his hair hanging to the small of his back. Tuffnut went in once more, squeezing as hard as he could, "I knew it! I knew you were still out there!"

Several things were happening to Snotlout - his skin ran cold yet his palms were slick beneath his gaunlets, and the room lurched as if he might faint. And the hands, the hands and touches and embraces ever since he stepped foot into this place, it was the most he had endured in years ("Are you enjoying it, love?") and it seemed as if those around him were completely unaware of the war happening within him. Tuffnut was hugging and grinning and exclaiming, and Snotlout could no longer resist - his arms and hands worked beyond his control, shoving the person away. "Stop touching me!"

Tuffnut took several stumbling paces back, unprepared, and his face was surprised when he hit the ground. Toothless made a sound - not quite a growl, but his teeth were out. Snotlout realized what he had done, and found that his forehead was damp as if he had run leagues. His hands were still held out before him from pushing, and he was appalled at what he had done. "I'm- I'm…"

Fishlegs had gone to Tuffnut's side and helped him to his feet. Snotlout locked eyes with the Ingerman for the first time. Just as he had, it seemed that Fishlegs had gotten a late growth spurt as well, if that seemed possible for the already large Dragon Rider. Fishlegs was now a size comparable to Stoick the Vast, and the baby face he once had seemed just a bit more stern, with a full blonde beard and braided moustache. "Snotlout," Fishlegs said as he steadied Tuffnut, and his voice was still surprisingly the same since he last heard it - boyish and calming, "It's alright. You're among friends."

You're among friends?

Then why didn't you come for me?

Snotlout found his feet moving, back-pedaling. The table met his backside and he could not move any further, his fingers finding the table's edge and he grasped at it like it was the only thing keeping him grounded. Something did not align, and it was as if his brain was the trigger of a crossbow - clicking and clicking but the bolt would not leave the chamber as nothing made sense. He realized the looks upon him were of shock and confusion, and seeing them all gathered together once more had his head spinning. Astrid spoke first.

"I personally led the team of our best tracking dragons we have to find you," she said and he found that she was talking slowly, as if she was explaining a thing to a frightened child, "We went the farthest we've ever been, we found new places in our search, but you completely disappeared. How could we have missed you? Where have you been this whole time?"

"You-" Snotlout said, and it was as if he had not drank water in days, throat threatening to close, "You searched?"

"Of course we did!" Hiccup cried out, "How could you possibly think otherwise?"

Snotlout's eyes widened with dawning realization. They looked for you.

"Oh my Thor," the words came out without him realizing, and the others might not have even heard him whisper it in his slow realization. No, it couldn't be. He was absolutely certain that they would not. After all he did, why would they have any reason to look? He had been… awful to them in his youth and in his time as a Dragon Rider, and he had convinced himself so well that no one had ever bothered to find him... but he been wrong the entire time? Snotlout could not fathom it, so he forced out the only thing he seemed capable of saying once more, "I need to see my Mother and Father, they'll want to see me."

He heard Valka whisper to her son, "He needs to know, Hiccup. It's what is right."

The Chief of Berk took a wary step closer to him. "Snotlout, you won't find them here."

Again he tried to work the crossbow in his mind - click, click - but nothing happened.

"I'm sorry, Snotlout," Hiccup said and his voice grew quiet. "They've gone to Valhalla. They're gone."

No.

No, he must have misheard. His gaze flicked to the company assembled before him in question, and they looked pained. That could not be right. "They're… they're dead?"

His voice was eerily monotone as it left him. He did not realize it, but he found himself seated at the table again from some unseen force slamming into him. Not a person uttered a word to him. "What happened?"

He spoke the words, but he barely heard it. All too slowly, small shards splintered from his world, and each piece was a cold dagger in his stomach. They're gone? It couldn't be possible. It had to be a lie, some sort of punishment for him coming back. Both of his parents were so strong, so unbreakable, it had to be some sort of joke.

"Please, you are in shock," Valka's voice said, but he was far away and barely registered it, "Please stay and rest a bit, then you can-"

"What. Happened."

The Great Hall was dead silent, the only sounds the flickering of torches. Toothless crooned, pushing his head into Hiccup's side as he sensed the sadness of his rider. Hiccup answered slowly and cautiously, "Spitelout was slain in battle. Calamity died of fever months later."

Snotlout made a sound of offense, like a scoff. "My mother would not die of a fever."

But his face was white and he would not meet anyone's gaze, and his hands and fingers worked anxiously. Hiccup took a deep breath and he put his hand to Toothless's head as he spoke, "Spitelout kept looking… we were all so certain you were dead, and he took to drinking, and well, picked the wrong fight. Calamity was never the same and it was as if she just... just gave up."

"No," Snotlout answered all too quickly. "No, you're just - just messing with me, like you always would. Like how all of you did!"

And then he was standing again, and there was noise around him, people raising their voices and trying to talk sense into him as he went for the door, and he found himself saying, "This was a mistake. I never should have come."

And he made his way to the door, to leave this place behind him.

But a string of words made it through the cloud of people reasoning with him, that he heard perfectly clear, Valka Haddock's pleading voice rising above the others, "Please, Snotlout, you can't go! Hookfang needs you!"

He had been moving to leave, cloak billowing behind him as he shouldered the Berkians aside when he heard it. And he stopped dead in his tracks and turned to look at Valka in dawning realization - it couldn't be. It just was not possible. She said it again, "Please, Hookfang hasn't been the same since. He only lets Hiccup near him now, he needs you!"

The distance between them closed. Snotlout grasped her shoulders urgently, and Hiccup and Fishlegs started forward as if afraid he may hurt her, but Valka was unafraid. "Hookfang?" His voice went into a strange pitch. "Hookfang is alive?"

His Aunt nodded her head. "He barely made it… but he is alive. And he misses you fiercely."