When they woke in the darkness, they were holding each other. Killua knew Gon was the one at his back, and he knew Hisoka's hand on his thigh by memory. He shifted slightly, and grinned when he felt the tightening of muscles. The very motion made him twitch and ache. "Are you awake, my pet?"

"Yes."

Killua rolled onto his back, gently shoving his friend away. "Gon, move."

Hisoka reacted in an instant, and his mouth was lowering before he even registered Gon's presence flaring with sudden awakening. Killua's moan was good enough, but not as sweet as the length in his throat.

Gon's eyes blinked, but he watched what was happening. It took him a second to notice that it was dark.

"I'm sorry," Killua whispered, grabbing the back of Hisoka's head. He moaned deeply, feeling Gon's eyes following every movement. "Sorry…"

Hisoka shook his head, continuing his obligation. With Killua's words, Gon was never going to figure anything out. "I'll make you sorry," Hisoka whispered, pulling back. "Get on your knees."

Killua obeyed, rolling and struggling to push himself up through the entrapping sheets. He still wasn't fully awake, but he supposed he soon would be.

"How sore are you still?" Hisoka asked, covering his fingers with Bungee Gum and inserting them swiftly, pumping them quickly into his ass.

"I can take it," Killua grunted, bracing himself for each new impact. It wasn't until the fingers left that Killua knew Hisoka was done toying around.

Drawing the boy into his arms, he positioned himself and slowly entered him. He gasped involuntarily, straightening their bodies. Killua's energy hummed over them, across their skin and prickled. It didn't hurt, but did add a touch of excitement. "Killua-kun, you've learned a new trick."

"Shut up and fuck me," Killua commanded, moving against him.

Hisoka chuckled and slid his hand around Killua's pale abdomen. Killua rose and fell with each thrust, whimpering and clutching at Hisoka's neck, bringing the man's mouth close to his ear. "How do I feel, Master? Do you like it? Are you really sorry?"

Killua shook his head, clenching hard and trying to still the rough bucking, struggling to get away. It was too late at this point. Hisoka's arm tightened around him, and pulled him back into each thrust. He tried to block out the man's pants of desperation, and the words, the effortless begging.

"Please, Master… I want to make you cum. I want to make you cum without touching it. I can be a good boy..."

"More, Hisoka!" Killua demanded.

Hisoka shoved Killua's head down and thrust hard, over and over until he was moaning with the effort. There was a short scream, then a clenching shudder that dragged him over the edge. His cock throbbed and he could feel his release. Remembering how it had felt the previous night, Hisoka rocked into Killua, ignoring the boy's protests. All there was between them was this, and the very act would eventually fade. As much as he hated to admit it… He didn't ever want it to end. He pulled away, realizing the thought; shoving Killua away roughly. He sat at the edge of the bed for a minute, then stood and walked to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him.

"Interesting way to wake up," Gon murmured, sitting back and smiling down at an exhausted Killua. "That's how I thought I might wake up this morning, before you barged in here."

"I'm glad I did," Killua assured him, laughing. After a second, he quieted and frowned. "I understand now, Gon. I went too far. It just felt so… good. I've been so weak before him, and he's been nothing more than a thinly veiled pervert. Then find out this psychopath has found some way into not only your bed, but your heart? Now, if I want anything with you, I have to suddenly be okay with this… It's insane! You know he's only showering so he can leave, right?"

"I hope so," Gon said, blinking. "We have dinner reservations, Killua. It was going to be just you and I, but if you'd like me to invite Hisoka, I can."

"It would be rude not to," Killua groaned, looking out the window. In all honesty, he didn't want the man to tag along, but… Killua stood and stretched. "I'll ask him. I should shower as well, anyway. Those weren't really the only clothes you brought with you, were they?"

Gon shook his head. "They were just my last pair of shorts. I've been wearing denims lately, for deep woods hiking. I brought a couple of suits too. I know you never think to bring one."

"You shouldn't have to dress up to go to dinner…" Killua snapped. "It's barbaric."

Gon laughed. "We'll have a good time, I promise."

Killua smiled and walked towards the bathroom. He wished he had pockets to shove his hands into, but pockets were pointless at this point. He was never going to be comfortable again.

"How is he holding up?" Hisoka asked when Killua stepped in. He stood in the steaming hot spray, but pressed himself against the wall when he was joined.

"Better than I am. Just wash yourself and come to dinner with us. Pass me the soap."

Hisoka hesitated, then picked it up. "Can you… get my back?"

Killua felt a sharp pain run from head to chest. The memory of carving his name into that flawless back, the knowledge this was the first time Hisoka would wash it. It wouldn't be easy alone… "Yeah, turn around. I'll do it."

Hisoka handed him the washcloth he'd been holding uselessly, and reached back; dislodging the Texture Surprise he'd hastily attached once Killua had finished with him. Housekeeping was not going to be pleased with the sheets… or the towels. He only had a split second to chuckle before he growled and pressed himself into the cool tile. He knew Killua was trying to be gentle, he could tell how his hands had jerked away at the first flinch. "Do not hesitate, Killua," Hisoka said, taking a deep breath to steady himself. "It will hurt, but I will survive. I took this mark willingly enough, you can clean it."

Killua reached out and touched the man's hip. Stepping closer, he pressed his body against the taller man and rested his head against his shoulder. Feeling Hisoka's body shiver, he wrapped an arm around his waist and raised the soapy washcloth to the gashes. "I am sorry," he said quietly dabbing and wiping at the bloody mess. "I just…" His hand trembled, but he was careful with his swipes, and often let the hot water wash between them.

"You don't have to explain, Killua-kun," Hisoka huffed, then stepped out of the water and Killua's grasp. "I don't need to know the reason. It does not bother me."

Killua slid under the shower spray and hugged himself, trying to feel the heat envelop him. "I just wanted to make sure there was no doubt… Of which Zoldyck you belonged to." Killua thought maybe Hisoka would say something, but after toweling off, the man left in silence. Killua finished slowly, trying hard not to think, and wrapped the towel around his waist before he walked out. Shockingly, Gon was alone.

He was standing in front of the mirror, tying his bowtie, but he glanced over and smiled. "Yours is on the bed. I know you're a bit leaner than I am, but we're about the same size, ne Killua?"

"Where did Hisoka go? He wore a suit here, that was perfectly good enough. Is he not coming?"

"It wasn't as nice as ours, so he left to change. He'll be late to dinner, but he said he would come, since you asked him to. Thank you for your… patience Killua. I know this can't be easy for you."

"I don't mind anymore, Gon."

Gon pulled his tie too tight and it ended up in a knot. "Huh?" he asked, all too aware of the soft resignation in his friend's tone. "What happened in the shower?"

Killua shook his head, not even smiling. He reached out and methodically tied the bowtie, looking into Gon's eyes when he finished. "Hisoka… He's not the man we used to see. Something about his past with Illumi broke something in him. Maybe… one person just isn't enough sometimes. You're the bridge, Gon. If Hisoka makes you happy, I can't change that. I will be here when he's gone, and that's enough for me."

The restaurant Gon had picked was quite fancy; but as the three of them were Pro Hunters. It was more Gon playing dress up, and forcing Killua to do the same. They had plenty of money to eat here. After a glass of wine Killua described adventures he'd been on to Gon, who smiled as he listened, jumping in with questions whenever he felt they were appropriate. They hadn't even noticed Hisoka until he cleared his throat. He stood, one hand loose on the back of his chair, glancing away when they acknowledged him.

Gon jumped up and pulled out the chair for him. "Hisoka! You made it!"

Chuckling, the tall man allowed Gon to help him into his chair. Seventeen… and already a proper gentleman. No, he had always been a kind-hearted man, even all those years ago. Crossing his legs under the table, Hisoka rested his chin on his fist. "This is a fancy place Gon… you chose well." He smiled, seeing the flush that crept up the tanned face, turning his attention to Killua. "I see Gon got you into the suit… You look quite dashing, Killua-kun."

Killua looked up, angrily. He hated dressing up, and it had always embarrassed him to be complimented. As Hisoka had fallen back into his trademark smirk, Killua didn't respond, other than to lift his wine glass. Technically they didn't meet the age requirement, one flash of his Hunter's licence had silenced any questions. Killua didn't want to leave dinner tonight sober, or make it through for that matter.

It wasn't that he resented Hisoka, or that anything about his presence bothered him much anymore… It was the memory of the man's back. It was also Gon's threat, and his change of attitude. It wasn't like Gon hadn't been confident before, or determined; Gon's faith in getting what he wanted was undeniable. It was the things he wanted… Things that Killua could never do, but Hisoka did so willingly. Killua could do them to Hisoka though. Ironically he liked doing them to Hisoka! While he had recruited Hisoka's help with this… His goal had been Gon. He didn't know Hisoka was going to be part of that deal.

I don't regret a second of our deal.

The words floated through his mind as he set the glass down. "I ordered for you," Killua stated. "You were late and we didn't want to wait."

"I don't mind. I'm used to others deciding what I eat," Hisoka joked. "I get invited to many parties, Killua."

"I'd rather not know," Killua said easily. The food arrived shortly, three plates of steaks with a baked potato and broccoli were brought and laid in front of them. "If you don't eat your vegetables, you don't get dessert," Killua stated, though it was unclear which he was speaking to.

They chatted idly while they ate, but when Gon had finished, he smiled at them both. "What is your favorite ice cream flavor?" he asked suddenly, eyes shining as he looked from Killua to Hisoka.

Killua looked up from his broccoli that he'd been pushing around his plate. "Mint chocolate," he said dispassionately, wondering what Gon was up to.

"Strawberry," Hisoka said with a grin.

"Mine's vanilla!"

Hisoka chuckled. "That's not entirely true, is it?" he asked. "You wouldn't just eat vanilla ice cream. You seem like the type to like peanuts and chocolate sauce. In a bowl."

Gon frowned, but nodded.

"You can tell everything you need to know about a person by the way they eat ice cream. Especially their sexual preferences," Hisoka said slyly. He seemed very sure of these words. "Take Killua for example."

Killua's teal eyes slid up and fixed on the man. His navy suit was distracting, and he hated that he dressed nicer than the two of them. "You've never seen me eat ice cream."

"You don't even like ice cream. You prefer popsicles. In fact, your favorite is orange cream.

Killua shrugged. "So what if you're right? I don't see how that has anything to to with-"

"It means… If someone brought you mint chocolate ice cream, no matter how it was served, you'd accept it. You might even enjoy it. But it's not what you really want. You want something else, even if it means when it's all gone… there's that last bit of trash you fling away."

Killua's eyes widened, and he bit his lower lip to keep from responding. If that wasn't a perfect description of what had happened...

"Hisoka, how do you eat ice cream?" Gon asked playfully.

"In a cone, obviously," he answered airily. "If proper attention is paid, the treat is devoured with perfect timing."

Killua muttered, but he felt Hisoka's eyes on him and froze. He didn't look up from his plate, feeling the weight of their gaze on him.

"What did you say, Killua?" Gon asked, smiling intently.

Killua glared at his fork, but raised it to his lips and took the bite of potato. He chewed carefully, knowing he wasn't going to be able to lie. They both had too sharp ears for that. He swallowed, then looked between them both. "I said he's the type to let the ice cream melt over his hand."

"Interesting," Gon murmured. "You told the truth."

"That's what we do, right?"" Killua asked angrily. "We're friends! We don't lie to each other."

"A hundred Jenny, Gon," Hisoka said, handing over the cash.

Killua stared. Then a thought struck him. "I didn't use my Gyo."

"I've been practicing," Gon admitted sheepishly. "I won the bet, which meant I believed you'd tell the truth."

Killua glanced at Hisoka who only looked amused. He wondered how many more bets would be at his expense. "What's the most embarrassing thing you've ever done?" he asked, sitting back and crossing his arms, looking directly at Gon.

The raven-haired man shifted in his chair, his lips unconsciously pressing together. He glanced at Hisoka, then looked back to Killua. "Before you got out of the shower, I let Hisoka put his name on me."

Killua stiffened, finally realizing the way Gon had been sitting all night. He knew he'd had several bites, and been used roughly, but he hadn't suspected that Hisoka had done such a thing.

"I asked him to do it. I knew you wouldn't be able to watch that."

"You're lying," Killua said. "Hisoka may have put his name on you… but it was his request. He didn't want me to watch you suffer." He tried not to be too angry at the money that crossed the table once more. He understood the wagers, the betting, better than they did. It was simply infuriating to watch their thoughts pass in front of him. "Then I'm the last."

"After dinner," Gon agreed. His gaze slid to Hisoka. "Well? Most embarrassing thing you've ever done?"

Hisoka hesitated, then looked to Killua. "Letting your brother use me. Confessing to him was… the most uncomfortable moment of my life, but being his slave for that long… I will regret it until I die. Killua-kun?"

Killua frowned. "This evening… Washing the cuts I made on your back. That was the most terrible thing I've ever done to someone. I've taken lives, but… putting my name on you was cruel. I didn't realize it until I had to look at it. It was the first time I ever thought I was actually like him."

"You're not like him," Hisoka said, leaning forward to touch Killua's hand. "Illumi would never feel guilt about hurting someone, and he would leave them to clean themselves up. He certainly would never offer up his body to bribe someone to stay. He would simply watch them leave, then return to whatever it was he was doing before they showed up."

Killua didn't respond, but pulled his hand away.

"Hisoka!" Gon exclaimed, grinning. "It's your turn to ask a question!"

"What do you want, right now?" the jester asked easily, his eyes sliding from Killua to focus on Gon.

Gon frowned, crossing his arms and sitting back, tapping his lips with his finger. Then his eyes lit up and sparkled. "I want you to kiss me!" he laughed, touching his lips.

Killua growled, but he simply turned his head as the older man rose. In his peripheral vision, he saw the redhead lay a hand on the table and reach for Gon's chin, tilting his head and slowly… oh so drawn out… lean to press his lips obviously to Gon's. Electricity crackled from his fingertips until he clenched his fists. He didn't know exactly why, but he was angry… no, jealous. But of which man? Gon, because he loved him and he didn't want to see his mouth on anyone else… Hisoka, because he hadn't been given permission. Unable to ignore them anymore, Killua gave them his full attention. He eyed them as their tongues tangled, seeing Gon's hand snake out and seize Hisoka's tie and pull him closer. "Disgusting," Killua whispered. It thrilled him when that one word broke them apart, but seeing the shame and doubt on Gon's face pained him. "How dare you?" he murmured, glaring down at his plate. He stabbed a cut of steak and stuck it in his mouth with annoyance.

"Well, what do you want?" Hisoka asked playfully, running his hand through Gon's thick, wiry hair. "Do you want my lips on you as well?"

"No," Killua said sharply after swallowing, looking up. "I want something I can't have here. I want to see you both writhing underneath me. I want to tear through your skin and make you understand what my heart feels when I see you so… blissfully alone in your own little world. I want you to never forget me while you enjoy each other!" Unable to control himself any longer, he slammed his fork down, accidentally shattering the plate and drawing the eyes that were politely avoiding the scene at their table. "Both of you… you make me sick."

Standing sharply, Killua's glare cut through them, and he could see even Hisoka straighten and regard him solemnly. "Please, finish your dinner! Enjoy each other's company… but do it without me. And Gon… don't even think of coming after me. Because what I really want, at this moment, is to be alone. I don't want to hurt you, but if you try to find me, I cannot promise I will be able to hold back." His eyes shined with unspilt tears, and he turned quickly, storming out of the restaurant.

He had acted childishly; he knew that. He had thought that the years he spent maturing would ready him for this moment. Instead, he had chosen a different path, a desperate path… and on top of it, he had begun lying to the man he loved most. It was then his nose decided to burn, and his tears finally fell.

Despite how far he'd run, how hard he'd tried to keep his emotions at bay, there was no use in pretending his problems wouldn't eventually catch up with him. So he embraced the pain, clung to it, and let it flow out of him. He wept, softly, unable to scream, unable to breathe. It wasn't fair. None of it. He had done everything to have Gon, and it was because of that mistake that he didn't have him. He had claimed Hisoka in retaliation, only to be regarded apathetically. He was alone, tolerated… allowed to take part.

Let them be happy, then. He was used to pain and suffering. All the past tortures paled in comparison. His chest was on fire and his heart twisted so painfully… If his family could bottle this pain, they would be unstoppable.

"Killua."

The boy's shoulders sagged and he held himself as he shook. "I told you not to follow me!" he spat, too drained to fight his anger.

"You told Gon not to follow. You gave me no such order," Hisoka responded, his voice low and guarded. "Gon was worried. He begged me to follow you. He insisted if you lashed out, I would be able to take it."

Killua hated the aloof manner Hisoka spoke to him. Bored, disinterested, terse. "I'm fine. Go away."

"No."

Killua growled and lept at the man, throwing punches, unleashing his emotions. "Why?!" he screamed. "He's all I have! Why are you taking everything from me?! Why do you hate me?!"

Hisoka defended his blows easily, almost lazily, but at that last question, he snarled and grabbed the white-haired boy. He slammed him against the wall, pressing close to him, breathing raggedly. "I don't hate you," the jester moaned, enjoying the pressure Killua put on his erection. His forehead lowered to rest against the stone as his grip loosened. "I don't hate you."

"Then why?" Killua whispered.

"Being with Gon is easy. He's sweet, honest, happy, and he tries so hard to be selfless. But you…" Hisoka drew back slightly, lifting Killua's chin to look into those eyes. "When I'm inside you, I never want to stop; I never want it to end. I want to pleasure you, and be pleasured, until we expire from exhaustion. What you said earlier… that I belonged to you and you wanted to make sure I knew it. That's when I- I…"

Killua's brows knit together. Hisoka seemed flustered, but certain, unable to let the words past his lips. "Say it, Hisoka." He was surprised when Hisoka's body shuddered, and he felt the wet warmth of his release. "Did you just… how?"

"My name on your lips," Hisoka answered huskily, "commanding me… You arouse me in many ways Killua. Your anger and jealousy, it beats across your skin like crackling plasma. When you so easily give me an order, when you lower me like a dog, when you cause me pain and mark my skin… you excite me, Killua. But when you tenderly care for me, when you call me yours… I feel. My skin heats, my heart pounds..." His lips pressed against Killua's forehead, down his cheek, softly caressing his lips. "I think I love you."

Killua's eyes widened. He had actually said it. Used words he had never thought possible. He almost spoke, calling the man a liar, accused him of the inability to love… but Hisoka had loved Illumi. Instead, he chuckled, then laughed. Reaching up to cup the man's cheek, he smirked and pushed away from the wall. "Kneel." He watched Hisoka slowly get to his knees, holding his gaze. "For that admission, you deserve a reward."

Hisoka's curious smirk was arrogant, mocking, and relieved. "As my Master commands. What reward do you think I deserve?"

"You will tell Gon what I've done," Killua whispered.

Hisoka was visibly shocked, expecting something a little more… salacious. "A sweet boy like him… do you really think he'll be angry? Do you think he won't forgive you for giving him back his Nen, and putting me in his bed?"

Killua shook his head, his mouth dry. "No. I know he'll forgive me. He'll have to, if he wants my pet. I want to watch you be the one to tell him the real reason you came to him in the first place."

Hisoka smirked, pulling Killian's button up out of his slacks. Pushing up the thin fabric, Hisoka's lips pressed to the bare skin of his stomach. "You are cruel, Killua, but not that cruel."

Killua didn't smile. He looked worried, withdrawn. "We tell each other the truth. That's what friends do."

Hisoka sighed and nodded, sitting back. "Then I'll tell him. Even still, Killua. You couldn't have known. Even I had no idea how I would get his Nen back."

"Shall we then?" Killua asked, looking out over the city.

"No," Hisoka growled, pushing him roughly against the door of the roof entrance. "You deprived me at dinner. I wanted you. I dressed to impress you. I was late to irritate you. I posed the question game with Gon to learn about you. I kissed him like that to make you jealous. I want my reward, for being patient… for coming after you… for admitting my feelings. I deserve that much."

Killua's strike was lightning fast, and left blood on his hands. "You have a severe lack of attention, dog," he snarled. "Thrice you've acted without permission. I'll have to punish you."

"My punishment will please us both." Hisoka smirked, licking at the blood on his lips, "so, order me."

Killua frowned, looking around the abandoned rooftop. "Only if you tell Gon that you love me. The secrets end tonight. Do that, and I'll give you what you want."

"Why not?" Hisoka said smoothly. "I might be able to hide it from him, but you never could. We both know it. So tell me, how is that a punishment?"

Killua nodded absently. He slowly unbuttoned his pants and let them fall. "You've had your release. My voice, my command made you cum. Use your mouth to please me, then we will confront the man who brought us together."

"Gladly."