Lost in your eyes
Wind softly blew swaying the sakura trees that surrounded the school and had already bloomed with the arrival of the spring. Slowly the sakura petals started to get into the student council room through the window with the help of a light breeze, filling the room with a pleasant fragrance. The air swings her ponytail without perturbing her in the slightest from her duties as the president of the student council. Her delicate fingers keep writing with elegance and diligence as she puckers her lips and knits her brows, giving her an adorable look halfway between being frustrated and pouting but what enchant you the most, it's the seriousness of her expression, the determination in those steel blue eyes that you come to adore so much, just as much as you admire her.
- Nozomi, if you have so much free time to laze around and have your head in the clouds, please help me with all these paperwork – suddenly her deep voice make you come out of your trance, making you giggle as she looks at you and pouts for real, bothered with your lack of help and jokes.
- Ooooh, so Elichi needs my help – you say teasing her while getting close to her chair.
- That's not- – she starts saying but shushes as you bend down her vision, looking right at her beautiful eyes.
No matter how many times you looked at them, you swear you still could get lost in those ocean blue eyes, so cold and deep yet so calming… You're so distracted into them, in the way they tell you a story you love to read, in the way her breath gets caught in her throat, in that nervous smile matched with a profound but cute blush, that you don't realize how the distance between you two shorten considerably and your faces are almost touching until you feel her breathing hitting you, obliging you to turn your face away, leaving a little kiss on the side of her neck, in the space between her shoulder and jawline. You hear her gasping at your delicate but surprising action.
- N-Nozomi… w-what are you doing? – she asks with shaking voice and terribly confused. I wonder the same Elichi, I really do.
You close your eyes and inhale deeply, grinning at her and going up to her ear to tease her.
- Teaching you what happens when you mess with me, Elichi meanie – you say playfully, trying to hide your nervousness, not really knowing what has impulsed you to do that.
You sigh content with her reaction and pull apart, slowly caressing her jawline with the tip of your fingers, almost kissing her skin with them and silent her lips, placing a finger on them for a short period of time.
You take a look at her, her pompous and luscious lips opening and closing as she was a fish, so kissable. Her surprised face and crimson cheeks, so irresistible and those expressive but confused eyes, damn those hypnotic eyes… they're the responsible of you being in this mess from the start. The more you look at them, the more you feel like you could get lost in them again and make the mistake of getting dangerously closer again, and maybe this time, you won't be able to control yourself like you just did.
- It was a joke Elichi, you should have seen your face – that gorgeous face… you laugh it off, pretending it's a joke so she won't discover the effect she has on you, her eyes have on you. The feelings you developed for her in these years and you save deep inside you locked under key. – Sorry Elichi but I remembered I have to work today at the shrine so I'm leaving first.
And with that, you grab your school bag and leave the room almost in a hurry, unable to keep this façade any longer in front of her. The excuse of having to work today was just a pretext to escape because your own cowardice, scared of passing more time alone with her and losing the little control you still managed to have on you and show her your true feelings, ruining everything.
The walk to your apartment never felt so empty and lonely even with the sakura petals danced along your steps, enveloping you in a soft scent that make you forget about that incident. You should be already used to this but get inside your apartment carries more weight than usual, coming back to an empty apartment never hurt so much like right now.
You sigh and change your clothes, throwing yourself onto your bed to rest, but every time you close your eyes, you only see her eyes staring back at you. The blue of her eyes that looks like an ocean, capable of drowning you in them. Sometimes you wish her hand would take yours and that she swims together with you but that wish feels distant and you can only keep drowning and getting lost in the depths of her eyes. At least that ocean now feels warmer and cozier than when you first met her, that gorgeous but stubborn russian… You grunt, not being able to take her off your mind as you would like to.
Whether you want to admit it or not, she charmed your heart since the very first moment you saw her. The way her ponytail bounced and shined with every step she walked and the security she exuded at it. Her stylized figure and perfect body. Her elegance when it came to rise up or sit down her chair. The confidence in every word she pronounced but especially her eyes. Those cold steel blue eyes, as deep as an ocean, so full of sadness… and for the first time in many years, those eyes were the guilty ones, the ones that dragged you to persevere in trying to be her friend and be by her side along her life in secondary. You wanted to keep looking at them and being able to see the warmth irradiating from them, you wanted them to shine with nothing more than pure happiness, a happiness that could only compete with her bright smile. You wanted her to be truly happy but above all else, you wanted to be the one making her happy and smile, not even knowing why you wanted that so badly or would put so much effort into making it happen. Now, now you know it's because that cold and serious blonde charmed your heart and won it since the first day you two crossed paths.
But loving her it's risky, it means showing her a side of you nobody knows, it means telling her all your secrets, all your thoughts and feelings. Loving her means to be vulnerable in front of her and that terrifies you. It terrifies you to no end to lose her and destroy your friendship and all you've been building in these years because you couldn't stop yourself from falling for her, you didn't even tried to stop your heart from loving her.
Now you're completely lost not knowing how to keep hiding and concealing your feelings or behave in front of her after what happened today. If you could only get a hold of yourself when you take a glance into her eyes, you wouldn't have this problem to start but who are you trying to fool?, everything in her is so hypnotizing to the point of losing any coherent thought.
The doorbell rings taking you out of your thoughts, confusing you given you aren't expecting any guest. As you open the door and see her standing there in front of you, with a bag of take away food in her hand and wearing a soft but shy smile, you get even more confused aside from shocked.
- Elichi? What are you doing here? – you ask her, letting her into your apartment.
- I thought it'd be nice to have dinner together, unless you already had dinner of course. Harasho, I should have asked before, shouldn't I? – she says, scratching the back of her neck embarrassed but still looking so excited that you can't say no, so you smile at her warmly and nod, setting the table in hopes dinner won't be too awkward.
Dinner passes by in between μ's and student council conversations, surprisingly not being awkward at all but of course, that's other of the many talents of your Elichi. As it's over, you expect her to go back to her home but she tells you she needs to talk with you and you know what's the talking about, not ready to face that conversation yet, not wanting it, so you try to escape and you actually get it but just until you reach your room, where she corners you.
- Nozomi, I just want to know what happened this evening.
- Elichi, I already told you, it was just a joke – you say ready to end this conversation before it advances further.
- Nozomi please, stop joking and playing around all the time, I'm being serious – she says looking really serious and kind of pissed but you can't give her that, it's too risky.
- Elichi I'm telling you the truth, it was just a jo- – you turn around as you keep talking, not being able to look at her beautiful face and lie to her any longer when she catches you by your wrist and turns you back around to face her again, interrupting you with that sudden movement.
- Please Nozomi, stop lying to me, stop trying to escape, I can't take it anymore – she says looking at you, so honest, so hurt… and it pains you to see her like that, you can't take it and struggle trying to escape from her grip, scared of break down in front of her eyes but you end losing your balance and fall into the bed with her on top of you, not being able to escape any longer.
Once you're back to your senses, you're aware of the situation, the way her body is pressed against yours in all the right places and how perfect that feels, you can almost feel her heart beating at the same rhythm as yours. Her face is closer than ever before, letting you appreciate the little freckles on her cheeks. Her hand slowly frees your wrist, going up until interlacing your fingers together, fitting perfectly like a puzzle. You feel yourself blush and try to look away so she doesn't see you, only to get trapped in a blue ocean looking right into your soul. The strength and intensity in them leave you completely breathless and naked in a metaphorical way. The way her eyes are like touches lingering on your skin, setting it on fire.
You're completely trapped in a tsunami of emotions that goes from anger to hurt to something you can't quite put your finger on… could it be love? The realization of it leave you drowning in a sea full of doubts that takes away the air of your lungs, suffocating you and making you plead for help. A help that comes in form of her lips against yours in a delicate kiss that contrast with the strength and emotion of her eyes. Your hand finds her cheek, bringing her close to deepen the kiss, feeling yourself completely relaxed at the taste of her, tasting the story trapped inside her mouth.
She pulls apart and smiles at you adoringly, making you blush harder as your breath steady itself again and you smile back at her shyly.
- Nozomi, tell me what you really feel. Be selfish for once and do what you really want to – she says looking at you so calmly, so kindly that you can't help but start crying.
- I can't Elichi, I'm scared – you admit in between tears, completely ashamed.
- Scared of what Non? – she asks you, stroking your cheek sweetly, wiping away some tears with her thumb.
- I'm scared of losing you if I do that. I'm scared of you hating me for allowing myself to get carried away.
Eli sighs, nuzzling your nose with hers and leaves a light kiss on it.
- Silly, I could never hate the girl I love and slowly stole my heart, with such patience and tenacity – she says leaving a light kiss on your forehead – I might be as cold as ice – she starts saying and shushes you as you're about to complain – but if you let me speak the language of love and whisper softly to you the touch of care, wrapping you in the safety of my arms and ignite with warmth your heart, I promise to love you and you'll be forever at home – she says so sincere, so romantically that you can only hug her tight as you cry harder. She's so cute yet so mushy sometimes.
- I already love you. I already found my home in your arms, in your eyes, in your heart…
She loves you… you cry hard, hiding yourself more in her arms, finding there a home, a shelter, not being scared anymore but really happy, feeling your Elichi kissing your temple as she snuggles you tighter while stroking your hair, making you doze.
Both of you get comfortable in your bed, looking at each other, getting lost in each other's eyes and smiling widely, feeling your hearts about to explode from so much happiness. She holds you by your waist, bringing you closer to her body, making you feel embarrassed and vulnerable as you delighted snuggle into her, leaving a soft but tender kiss on her chest, inviting her to stay with you in a way words could never make justice. You rest your head there while listening to her heartbeat, stroking her skin and making shapes on it, feeling her covering you both with a blanket then leave a kiss on your hair, holding you tight in her arms, the place where you feel the happiest, where you dreams are safe as you feel asleep.