Chapter Ten

"Come with me, please," Rolf said, tugging on Kalys's hand as they left his family.

He did look like death, and Kalys could hear the strain every time he talked. She took his hand, refusing to be hyper-aware of their surroundings, and together they walked to their chambers, Kalys setting down her books.

Rolf was sitting on the bed, his face buried in his hands when she looked up, and Kalys's heart gave a little pang. He looked so desperately alone, like a scared little boy, backed into a corner.

"I was holding him, Kalys," he said softly, muffled by his hands in his face. "Our baby, I was holding him."

He finally looked up at her, tears dripping down his chin, his eyes distraught. She stayed where she was, just meeting his dark eyes. He swallowed hard, and Kalys felt her heart beat faster, silently, unknowingly to him, urging for him to continue.

"We were in the Heart," he explained. "You were propped up against me, and-and you handed me the baby, just born, and it was a boy. He was cradled against me, skin to skin, and, Kalys, I don't know how to explain it, but I loved him. And then he was being pulled away from me, and you were screaming, and I couldn't hold on, and it hurt. I still feel so empty, and I can't get rid of the feeling."

Kalys let out a little whimper, and she went to him finally, gathering his head in her neck, feeling his tears wet her skin. His hands rested against her stomach, something that made her begin to cry, remembering the words she'd said to him just last night. Words that she realized kept him thrashing for so long.

"Come," she said, bending to pull off his boots, and then his over tunic. "Let's go to bed."

He mumbled his agreement, and Kalys pushed him onto his back, snuggling closer to him, wrapping and resting her leg across his hips. He pulled the covers over both of them, his lips pressing against her head.

He was warm, and she was tired. Her eyes came to a close, feeling swollen from all the crying. But it was okay, she thought, a sense of peace settling in her chest. Rolf's breathing had become more steady, and she had no doubt he was sleeping beside her.

She barely woke a couple of times, feeling Rolf stir and turn beside her, though she didn't know if he was fully awake or not. She fell back asleep, easily, her body seeming suddenly so tired.

Kalys fully woke up, when she felt Rolf remove himself from her, and she struggled to sit up. Golden light from the setting sun was cast across their bed, and her husband was yawning, hair tousled, eyes looking groggy. He looked down at her, his mouth open, before diving down again to pull her closer next to him again.

She squirmed in his arms, pressing a kiss to his lips, and just resting next to him. She was a bit damp, but it was a nice feeling to be warm considering how cold it was outside of the blankets.

"We slept all day long," he whispered into her ear, and Kalys shrugged. "You have a reasonable excuse."

She caught his implications turning again, and making him grin. She sighed at the smile; it'd been a while since she'd seen him do that genuinely.

"Stop squirming, I'll let go of you if that's what you want," he said, though his arms constricted her tighter.

"I'm not trying to get away," she responded. "I'm just trying to look at you."

He ducked his head, and Kalys swore he blushed, and she sent him a confused look, her own lips twisting into a smirk. He finally shifted so she could see his face, and Kalys smiled at his crimson cheeks.

"Why are you embarrassed?" She asked, trying not to giggle. He was being weird.

He paused, eyes flicking away from her for a second, before his hand came to brush hair out of her face.

"It's just, well, when we rescued you-"

"I rescued you specifically, if I'm remembering correctly," she cut in, remembering how he'd almost been killed by a unicorn.

"Yes, well, when we found you, and you told us that you were a Hathelocke, I knew that we would get married, but I sort of thought it would be more gradual, more flirting, and being shy with each other," he admitted.

"How innocent of you, Rolf," she said back, and he rolled his eyes. "So romantic."

"It's just the nature of our relationship now," he started, beginning to turn away slightly. "If I'm being honest, isn't satisfying, but moments like these, I just feel so much more fulfilled."

She couldn't help but smile at him, and he sort of grinned back, before burying his head in her hair again.

"I wanted to marry you," he mumbled. "I had dreams on the Ship of marrying you."

Kalys popped up at this admission, her heart swelling a touch. Rolf shifted, staring deep into her eyes, eyebrows knit.

"But I wanted to know you, kiss you for the first time somewhere meaningful, not on the balcony the night before our wedding. I wanted to ask you to marry me, and our wedding to be one filled with joy, instead of dread. And I wanted our wedding night to be filled with love, joining together because we waited and waited and are entering a covenant together, not because I drank more wine than I ever had, and both of us were overstimulated and didn't know what to do in the heat of a moment. I wanted to be in love with you."

"And now there's no hope of ever loving me?" She asked softly, not quite knowing what this admission meant at all. He was being confusing, and suddenly she wanted to hide. Rolf really had a way to ruin moments like this between them.

"No! No, that's not what I'm saying," he said. "I mean, in moments like these, I start to wonder if I am falling in love with you."

Kalys opened her mouth to say something, when a touch of hurt hit her, but he beat her to it.

"It's easy in my mind to blame my body's urges and-and our situation after we fuck," he started crassly. "And I don't want to admit-I just want to hide any feelings that rise up against me towards you. But then Casper comes, and suddenly I have this need to protect you. When you tell me you want to look at me, I just want to stay with you forever. And I don't know what to do with that. It makes me feel helpless."

Kalys swallowed, letting her fingertip come and stroke his cheekbone, as she thought of what to say.

"I think it's hard to recognize all of these feelings when everything is moving so fast," she said, desperately worried it was the completely wrong thing to say.

He nodded, looking thoughtful, though Kalys was pretty sure it was fake, and he was trying to humor her. She couldn't decide whether his lack of honesty angered her, or his thought to make her feel heard made her feel nice.

"Do you think that's why you have such a hard time with the baby?" She asked, remembering back to his depressed state of mind the last few weeks. "Because you want to sort out your feelings on the marriage first?"

He gave a low whistle, his hand squeezing at her back. "Hit the nail right on the head, why don't you?"

There was no malice in his voice, and as he looked at her, suddenly he looked very much like Queen Celina in her thoughtful ways. This time she was sure he was genuine. His eyebrows were knit as he studied her face.

"I haven't been kind to you," he said. "You must think me a spoiled prince, something I do not deny. You are left to do the hard things of our mistakes, and I have been a whiny child."

"Rolf," she responded quietly. "Stop it. If I thought that of you, I wouldn't be pregnant."

He smirked, kissing her chastely. "We should get up for a bit, see if Bran has any news."

She thought it was rather daring to go and see people after such an admission, but nevertheless, she rolled out of bed with him, laughing at their wrinkled clothes. He put on a new tunic and a belt, throwing her another gown.

"Rolf, can you toss me the blue one? This is too small."

She was a little embarrassed when it didn't tie around her breasts, the fabric stretching awkwardly over the swell in her stomach. It was still pretty mild, but apparently the dress didn't think so. She looked in the mirror in her shift, smoothing her hand over the bump, it seeming to obvious to her.

Rolf helped it over her head, staring at the image with her. If he was about to touch her belly, he refrained, and began tying the laces at the back of her gown. She hated dresses made like that, but it was the one of her two gowns that actually fit.

He opened the door, and she followed him to Celie's rooms, where Dagger bounded to meet them. Kalys let the griffin sniff her hand, and Celie looked up to them.

"Looks like you've finally made it out of your bed," Delilah clucked, looking straight at Rolf, who rolled his eyes. "I wanted to wake you up, but Bran wouldn't let me."

Bran was there, too, Kalys realized, sitting with his little griffin, feeding her fruit. He smiled down at her, before frowning again.

"Have you talked to Father, Rolf?" He asked, and Rolf shook his head.

"I've only just woken from my nap," he said, petulantly looking over at his older sister. "Has he not spoken with you?"

Bran shook his head. "He and Mother haven't come out of their chambers."

"Maybe they're napping," Rolf pointed out. "Or-"

Lilah slapped her brother on the arm, and he blushed.

"I was going to say, Delilah, that maybe their still discussing what to do," he snapped, and Bran and Celie looked down at the floor.

"Well, I don't suppose there is anything to do," Lilah continued.

Kalys lost track of the conversation, with the sudden need to sit down. She suddenly felt very hot, and like she was going to throw up. Rolf and Lilah continued to bicker, but she didn't really know what about. Her head was beginning to spin, and she reached out and gripped Rolf's forearm to try and steady herself.

He looked over at her, concerned, before swearing and grabbing both her elbows. He lowered her to the floor, Bran rushing over to her. Rolf was pushing her hair back from her face, and Kalys burned with both this strange heat and embarrassment.

"Delilah, please go get Thalia," Bran said softly, his hand coming next to Rolf's to feel her forehead. "Rolf, sit behind her. Kalys, dear, just lay up against him, and try to be still."

She tried to be calm, but she hated feeling helpless. Rolf continued to brush her hair off her face and neck, which cooled her a little, but not much.

Wizard Thalia came in, and bent down to ask her questions, smiling and calm. They were all the same ones that Bran had, but somehow less panicky.

"This is very normal," Wizard Thalia assured, "hot flashes are very common due to how much the baby inside you is growing, especially since you're stressed."

Stressed was an understatement.

Celie tapped her fingers on the windowsill, trying to think of something other than what was going on. She supposed everyone was. Bran was pacing beside her, Lilah grooming Juliet vigorously.

"Kalys will be fine," Bran said aloud, and Celie didn't know if he was talking to her or himself.

"I'm more concerned that we have a crazy old wizard in our dungeons than Kalys having to sit down," Lilah announced, and Bran sent her a sharp look.

"Delilah-" He started, but then stopped.

"No one's talking about it, and Mother and Father are nowhere to be seen and Rolf just slept all day," Lilah continued. "And I'm scared, and it feels like no one is doing anything."

"Rolf was up all of last night," Bran defended, and Celie was happy to see their relationship was better. "But you're right. I have a feeling Mother and Father are debating whether or not to send Kalys somewhere else."

Celie gave a little shriek. "They're going to send her away?"

"Not like that, Cel, but they'll probably send Kalys and Rolf somewhere else until the baby is born. For safety issues. Until we can get this whole Casper thing figured out," Bran finished.

Celie looked at him horrified. Rolf? Leaving the Castle? She supposed it was rather reasonable, but still. She hated the idea of not seeing him for six months.

"I don't know if that's what they'll decide, Celie, I'm just guessing," Bran soothed, and Lilah made a little noise. "For now, we just have to hope things work out. Once I know what Father wants from me, I can start working, but as for now, I have to wait for his word, and I don't know what that will be at this point."

Celie sighed, watching Rufus butt against Dagger, who was sulking because he'd been left behind.

"I just don't understand why everything has to be so complicated," Lilah sighed. "The most complicated thing that should be happening right now is writing up successions and wills, or coming up with ways to make sure people don't hate Rolf."

"Have people been hating Rolf?" Celie asked, and Bran shrugged helplessly. Maybe she should be more present, then she actually might know what's going on.

"No," Lilah started. "Rolf has had a charm with the people since he was a toddler. But Uncle William accused him of taking advantage of an island girl, right before the Castle disposed of him, of course, but you know how rumors fly."

Celie really wondered how she didn't know about all of this. She really had been hiding for awhile, she supposed.

"But anyway, now we have a much more complicated issue," Lilah continued. "Bran, no offense, but I'm starting to lose trust in wizards."

Celie thought that was rather relatable as she sank beside her sister on her chair. Bran was really the only wizard who had proved to actually be good to them. All the other ones had either been evil or extremely odd. Celie wanted to smile remembering Rolf arguing that Bran, too, was extremely odd.

Bran was silent as he stared out the window. His fingertips tapped the sill, and he let out a breath. He finally turned to them.

"They'll figure something out. The Ship didn't rescue Kalys from the Found just to kill her, and take Rolf's baby," Bran said, rather to the point. "By this time next year, we will all be sitting around the table, cooing over our niece or nephew , everything all well again."

Celie leaned against Lilah, her eyes welling up. "We always think that, Bran. We always think that and it's never true."

Bran made a clicking noise, pulling her into his arms, Celie beginning to bawl into his wizard robes.

"I just want this to be over," she cried, Bran rubbing his hand on her back. "I just want to be safe. To be whole."

"They should just leave now, with Bran," Queen Celina said. "Or me. And go to a far off village until Casper is rid of. Even if that means years."

King Glower sighed, rubbing his head. "Maybe we should just send Kalys and Wizard Thalia for the time being? Rolf should be in the Castle."

"And separate them for years? Owen, despite all of his poor choices recently, Rolf's priorities should be his family, and he has one of his own now," Queen Celina argued.

"Rolf's priorities are to Sleyne," King Glower said softly, though he hated saying it. "He took the vow at his coronation."

"Are your priorities only to Sleyne?" Queen Celina asked defiantly, her pretty face cast up at him, blue eyes shining.

"Celina, love, this isn't about me," he responded. "This is about Rolf, or really, Kalys and our grandchild. If Rolf leaves, there is going to be great suspicion, especially if he leaves for a long time. They'll think he ran away, or is off crusading, and I really don't want to start either of those rumors."

She stayed quiet for awhile, thinking. "I would rather have Rolf safe and have rumors spread about him, then have him killed in his sleep here."

King Glower frowned. She tended to do this when she was upset.

"Of course I'm concerned about his safety, Celina, but we can't be rash about this decision. For all we know, Casper would know exactly where they are anyway." He didn't remember beginning to pace, but now he was, hands coming to scrub at his hair, a gesture he shared with both of his sons.

"I'll need the Council, and Bran to full make this decision-and honestly, probably Rolf..." he trailed off, sitting down. He wondered what his son would choose to do.

"You're not going to let Rolf make the call are you? Owen-"

"He's much smarter than you give him credit for!" King Glower snapped. "Besides, if it's his family as you say, then shouldn't he be the man to decide what to do with his wife and baby?"

It was an unjust and unnecessary comment, King Glower knew. But he was tired. He was tired of fighting with Celina, tired that they had to keep fighting over safety matter of their children.

"I'll make the decision tomorrow," he said, gently. "For now, let's see if we can gather as a family, and try to be normal."

His Queen sighed, pressing a kiss upon his lips, and taking his proffered arm out of their chambers, ready to gather their children together. And be a family, for perhaps a last normal night.

The dream was shattered, as it would be, King Glower thought in despair, when they walked out the door to see Rolf, sitting in the hallway, obviously antsy. His head was tucked in his knees and his fingertips kept tapping the floor. He looked up when he heard the door open, dark hair tousled, eyes a little wild as he focused on them.

"Kalys almost fainted," he said, turning his head towards the door. "Wizard Thalia is looking over her now."

"Well, shit," Celina swore, making them both look up at her. She had a very dirty mouth, something that Rolf had definitely inherited. "I'm sure it's fine."

She kissed Rolf's cheek, before going into the room where Kalys was, Rolf enviously watching her go.

"It's really not fair," he muttered, gesturing that apparently Thalia had kicked him out. "Im half the reason the baby is even there."

King Glower sighed, patting his back. "Just wait until she gives birth, that's when it will really sting."

"She's fine," Thalia said, packing up her things as Queen Celina entered the room.

Princess Kalys looked both embarrassed and bored, and Thalia didn't blame her. Her symptoms were completely regular with the stress she'd been under, and according to modern wizard studies on pregnancy and childbirth; classes all wizards had to take since it had such a mortality rate, she was doing much better than most would.

"She'll just need to lay low for a bit," Thalia explained. "Though I don't doubt by tomorrow everything will look to be normal."

Queen Celina nodded, beginning to fuss, which was what Kalys obviously was annoyed about. But she stayed silent, sitting up, and looking like she wanted to jump out the window to escape the motherly affections. Thalia smirked.

She didn't know much about the situation, other than she was married to Prince Rolf rather quickly. Thalia wondered if the pregnancy was the reason they were married. She didn't quite remember if Kalys was from noble birth or a servant, but she supposed it didn't matter now. All she knew was the pregnancy had been secret enough for the princes to argue about it.

She gave a curtsy, and exited, to see the Prince Rolf hovering by the door. He gave her a weak smile, and she nodded, and he pushed through the door, eyes set on his wife.

She took her notes to Bran to look over, and he nodded chewing his lip.

"I'm assuming you did a thorough exam," Bran said gruffly.

Thalia tried not to roll her eyes. Why would she not? Royal Wizard Bran was sort of a bear, she had noticed, and she wondered if that's why Roland and Bowen had quit. She supposed she had come to the Castle at a rather stressful time, but the man was high-strung. Especially for being so young.

Prince Bran had been legend around the College of Wizardry. Not only was he a prince of the Castle, but he was also incredibly talented. He'd graduated early, and his gifts were supposedly very powerful, more so than most. Professors raved about him, and Headmaster Thorn only spoke words of praise.

Among the students, however, there had been a lot of rumors. Prince Bran had been studying while Thalia was there for her first and second year, and while they had never met, she knew enough about him. The girl she'd shared a room with had a cousin who had done a lot of work with the prince, and he'd complained about him often, and now Thalia could see why.

It's not that the prince hadn't been unkind, he'd been very welcoming, but he also wasn't the best employer. She'd been warned about this when Headmaster Thorn had offered her the position at the Castle, but she had ignored the warning because she didn't really want to go back to her adoptive parents. Now she was regretting not preparing herself.

He was just, very tightly-wound. He never really trusted anyone, and he very obviously had serious control issues when it came to their work, to the point where Thalia wondered why he even kept asking for an assistant considering he rechecked all the work anyway. Not that he'd ever found flaw in it to correct.

She raised her eyebrows as he leaned heavily against his work table, the blue wizard lights casting strange light on his face. He was still staring at the papers she'd given him, and finally he looked up.

"What do you think about this whole Hathelocke magic idea?" He asked, and surprised, she took a step back. "It's not that I don't believe Kalys, it's just she seems like she'd be biased."

"I suppose I'm not familiar enough with the Hathelocke to Arkish knowledge you keep mentioning," Thalia responded, wondering why no one had explained this to her at all if it was so important.

Bran gave her an odd look, and then sighed. "I guess so much has happened since you arrived, I haven't had time to fill you in."

"You really haven't," she agreed, ignoring his sharp look at her slight insolence.

Bran sighed, putting down the notes in his hands. "The story of the Castle..."