Hello! Thank you to all of you who are reading, reviewing or following this fic! I am so grateful! I know posting is sporadic and I won't lie, it will continue to be so but I promise I WILL complete this fic. To thank you for still reading - chapter 14 is a mega chapter (over 3,000 words!)

Pacing was not helping. A decision needed to be made and she was the only one who could make it.

Ink blotted papers were scattered across her desk. She had begun the report she knew that Kingsley and Dumbledore would be expecting to see first thing in the morning…well in a few hours. Each time she had reached the section where she knew she was expected to write any other pertinent information – she stalled. Why was she protecting him? She owed him nothing.

Yet, she had reasoned with herself several times – surely, the information she had stumbled upon was nothing new to Kingsley and certainly not to Dumbledore. It would be obvious information to them – as it should have been to any decent Auror. What had kept her up all evening was not the act of writing it, she had written the little paragraph several times…

Other pertinent information:

Lead Auror, Tonks, N. for protective detail of Potter, H. has had considerable contact with Lupin, R. Known associate of the convict, Black, S. Lupin has made attempts to befriend Auror Tonks. Whether this is to extract information about the case is so far unclear. So far Lupin, R, is not under suspicion but is, going forward a person of interest. Further investigation into Lupin, R. and Black, S. relationship to be submitted following this report.

Her report was finished – she could send it right now, and feel content that she had done all she could and it would be the dementors that would be getting a telling off. She was confident she had acted swiftly, Harry was going to be fine and Dumbledore would take care of the rest. What bothered her were two parts of what she had written – two parts she wished were not true. Had Lupin befriended her to get information about the case? He had probably been laughing at her all these months, a young naïve Auror. Easy to charm into talking to him and confiding in him.

She wanted to be furious and she was, but she was also feeling dejected and sad. Once she handed in this report, Lupin, R. would become a person of interest in the hunt for Sirius Black. She knew that Fudge was desperate to find him - was she putting Remus' career in jeopardy just by naming him?

Pacing was not helping her make any decisions. Grabbing her dressing gown from the back of her door, Tonks headed out into the hallway.

She stood outside Lupin's door. If she did this and he was involved – she could be in serious trouble, but if she handed in her report, she may never get the chance to find out, he'd officially be a person of interest in the Black case and as she wasn't allowed to be involved in the Black case, she wouldn't be able to question him. More than anything right now she wanted answers. If she was being honest, she wanted to know if she had been played for a fool yet again.

Knocking on the door louder than she should for the time of the morning, she knew she had to speak to him face to face.

"Lupin, open up. We need to talk."

Remus open the door on her second knock. Tonks was taken aback for a second, the usual well put together; professor Lupin was looking decidedly less 'put together'. He was dishevelled, his attire was much less formal, striped pyjamas and an old tatty but warm looking dressing gown went with his messy hair and confused stare.

"May I come in." Tonks said as she pushed Lupin gently to the side. By the time he was awake enough to reply Tonks was already pacing around his front room.

"Please, make yourself comfortable." Remus watched as Tonks walked around his sofa a few times, chewing on her thumbnail, mumbling to herself. He suspected she had not slept much, if at all, since the events earlier that evening.

"Tonks," he spoke tenderly. "Poppy assured you, there was nothing more you could have done for Harry. Your quick thinking and reflexes were impeccable and Harry most probably owes you his life. You showed yourself to be every inch an incredible Auror this evening, you should be very proud."

"Just not incredible enough to figure you out…" Tonks mumbled through her thumb.

"I'm sorry Tonks, I didn't quite hear you…?" Remus took a step closer to Tonks, placing his hand on her shoulder. Tonks reacted as though his touch burned.

"Don't touch me." Tonks stood up straight, staring at Lupin. She could see hurt in his eyes and face, but she couldn't allow him to disarm and charm her into forgetting why she had knocked his door.

"Tonks, whatever is the matter? You are not yourself this evening. Shall I get you a cup of tea?" Remus took a step towards his kettle, but Tonks put her arm out, signalling for him not to move.

"I don't want tea. I want the truth." Tonks hated that when she was angry she would get teary. The whole world had teased her about this for as long as she could remember. "I want the truth Lupin."

"I am more than happy to oblige, if indeed I possess the truth to which you are referring." Remus dared a small smirk, hoping to defuse some of the tension.

"No, don't do that Lupin, don't simper and smirk and be all coy. You know exactly what I'm talking about. How could you not tell me. How could you think it was okay to keep it from me? When we've been spending so much time together?! Did it never occur to you how this could affect my career? Hell never mind my career, how this would affect everything!" Tonks was so furious, most of that had come out much louder than she intended it to. She blinked away the tears which were threatening to roll down her cheeks at any moment.

Lupin stepped back to hold onto a dresser. He was dumbfounded. How had she found out? Surely Dumbledore would never have betrayed his confidence and Snape and Tonks hadn't spoken since he'd last seen her just a few hours ago. "I'm sorry you are so disgusted by the revelation."

More than anything Lupin felt disappointed. He'd had long day dreams about how, if he were ever to tell Tonks, he would tell her. He had always hoped and sometimes even prayed to a God that he was not sure he believed, in that she would take it well. His daydreams never played out a scene in which she spouted bigotry or hate – he had not thought that was in Tonks' nature.

Tonks scoffed "Disgusted by the revelation – oh drop the pretence Lupin. How could you keep this from me? Did it never occur to you that I had the right to know who I was spending so much time with?"

There it was – he had never thought her capable of it. It was not the first time he had to be part of this conversation, he had heard it several times, his usual response was to apologise and leave as quickly as possible hoping never to see the person again.

But this was Tonks! He thought he had gotten to know her so well. He was dumbfounded that this would be her reaction. He thought she would have at least have understood the need for secrecy, working for the ministry, she must have been aware of the werewolf registry and how cruel they could be.

He could not let it drop this time. "And who do you imagine you have been spending your evenings with Nymphadora." He knew the use of her first name was below him, but he was feeling a fury he had not experienced in many years. "A monster not to be allowed to participate in decent company. Certainly not an appropriate friend for a young woman. Perhaps I should have told you, but I thought you of all people would have understood the want to keep something about yourself, something that you cannot change, something that has forced society to shun you away for years. An affliction that causes people to instantly mistrust you – to not give themselves a chance to even attempt to get to know you. Perhaps I am at fault – but I am not the only one of us that kept private information just that."

There was a silence between them. They could both feel it, hear it, see it. It hung thick in the air, whatever was said next could make or break their burdening friendship. The only sound was Remus' angry breathing and Tonks occasional biting of her thumbnail.

"Why me of all people?!" Tonks had been replaying in her head his speech – no doubt something he had been planning for weeks to throw her off if she ever caught him out. How dare he be furious with her! Her confusion was beginning to clear and she was now more pissed off than ever. "Do not try and make this about me Lupin. You had hundreds of opportunities in this room, when we were sharing stories to drop it in to the conversation. The fact that you kept it from me that is what worries me. Auror training 101 – people who keep things have things to hide."

Remus laughed incredulously, "are you really going to stand here, in my own quarters, in to which you were not invited, may I add, and lecture me on not being forthcoming. Pot, kettle, black Tonks."

"Pot kettle what?" Tonks asked quieter than before.

"It's a muggle idiom; it refers to the hypocrisy…"

Tonks scoffed, "I don't need a lecturer Professor."

Remus threw his hands up and grabbed thin air. "You asked! You are so bloody infuriating! Look I did not tell you, but you did not tell me you were a metamorphmegus either, so I am not sure why you are allowing yourself to feel so superior and be so angry with me! It seems neither of us felt ready to confide so completely in each other."

Tonks sat down on Remus' sofa. Seeing her dejected face, his anger immediately began to ebb away. He approached the sofa, unsure as to how she would react if he sat next to her, instead he choose to lean on arm. "Being a metamorphmagus is hardly the same as being best friends with a wanted fugitive Remus, but you are right, I should have told you. You had a right to know."

Remus' head dropped into his hands. He felt an overwhelming urge to weep. What a complete and utter fool he was. He often met people who told him how very clever he was and when he would assure them he was not, they would shower him with platitudes and never except his rebuffs. Oh how he wished he could show them moments such as this one. So learned and professorly and yet he had never quite learned how to listen and extract information before jumping to ridiculous conclusions.

Tonks had no idea he was a werewolf. Tonks was annoyed that he had once been best friends with Sirius Black. He could understand that. It was something he felt furious about.

Remus allowed himself to slide down from the arm of the sofa where he had perched onto the cushion next to Tonks. He sighed deeply. "To be truthful, it isn't something I am proud of. I have learnt to tell stories of my past without mentioning names. It perhaps will not surprise you to learn that people are not very eager to spend time with someone who used to associate with a now convicted criminal. Although what people always seem to forget when they make snap judgements about how I could have been friends with such a monster is that, out of everyone, I perhaps lost the most at the hands of Sirius Black. I was the friend he most betrayed. I was the friend he allowed to survive, only to watch all of my friends die."

Tonks could not move. She was so desperately trying not to cry. She knew it has been a bad idea coming to speak to him, but she could not help herself. She also now could not trust herself. Was this another line, meant to make her feel sorry for Remus, to want to comfort him rather than suspect him…because it was working. Everything in her told her this was a man who meant no malice to anyone. All of her instincts, including the ones that helped her on her way to being the youngest fully qualified Auror in Ministry History, were telling her he was being completely genuine. As one of Sirius Black's closest friends, he had been one of his biggest victims.

"Remus, I am so sorry. I…"

Remus batted her unspoken words away with his hand. "I think we may both had said somethings tonight we did not mean. Words spoken in anger should never come between friends. And you are right, I should have been more forthcoming with you, I should have told you that Sirius and I were friends."

Tonks sighed loudly, "I understand why you didn't though. I get it – that look people give you when you tell them you're different, whether it is being a metamorphmagus or being best friends with a convict, people don't give you the chance to prove your worth. You should try being related to a convict! I don't even really remember ever meeting him! I just wish you could have told me though."

Remus nodded thoughtfully, "I can see that not telling you was an oversight. To be truthful, these last few months, with you, they have been the first time in years that I've been able to speak about Sirius, or James or Peter and Lily without feeling such hatred for Sirius. It has been nice to share so many stories with you, to be able to remember the fun we all had. Though still, even all these years later, the stories are tinged with sadness and an anger.

Tonks turned to look at Remus more fully, "An anger toward Sirius you mean?"

It was Remus' turn to sigh, he stared out into the fire – "sometimes, but more often at myself. When it happened." Remus swallowed as if the thought of saying the next sentence was physically difficult, "When Lily and James were killed and then Peter, and Sirius was taken to Azkaban, I spent months, possibly even years reliving every moment of our youth, looking for the moment, the hour the minute."

Tonks placed her hand on Remus' knew. "What moment Remus?"

Remus locked eyes with Tonks. He had never spoken to anyone about this, but she deserved to see that she had his trust. "The moment that Sirius decided to betray his friends. The moment he became a murderer. The moment he became a Black. I should have seen it; I should have spotted some minute detail that would have exposed him. I should have been able to save my friends."

Remus allowed his head to fall into his hands. "You cannot think like that Remus. How could you spot it. You are all that is sweet and kind and gentle. How could you recognise evil? I've seen it time and time again when I was in training, those who are the best criminal masterminds are surrounded by loving caring friends and family who just cannot believe their husband, brother, sister, wife – whoever is what we are accusing them of being. They know just what to say to make the people around them fall for them. You are not to blame for any of the actions of Sirius Black. Do you understand me?"

Remus could not look at Tonks. He had heard those exact words spoken to him years before, when Dumbledore had found him broken and alone, living a nomadic existence, spending time with no one but memories and the ghosts of his past, he had spent years after Sirius' incarceration existing but never really living.

"I am working on believe that to be true." Remus answered honestly.

The pair sat in silence, the only sound the embers of the fire Remus had lit hours ago. Tonks spoke first. "I never called you a monster. You could never be a monster to me Remus."

Remus shivered all over his body. He wanted to tell her. He really wanted to and he knew he should. But he couldn't. As an Auror he felt certain that once he told her, she would have to pass that information on. A werewolf who used to be friends with Sirius Black wandering the corridors of Hogwarts that would be sure to send Fudge into meltdown. Dumbledore had taken a risk employing him, only those who needed to know had been informed and as a private school, with no public funding, Dumbledore had assured Remus that did not include any ministry employees. Kingsley had been discrete on his few visits to see Tonks, never mentioning Remus' affliction.

"I'm not the man you think I am Tonks…I…I…" Remus had never wanted to tell anyone more. Never wanted acceptance from anyone as much as he craved it from Tonks.

"Remus, please it's okay. I am sorry about how I reacted; I was just so stressed with Harry and annoyed at myself that I didn't realise sooner. You told all these stories, you talked all the time about James and Sirius, but what did you call them, Padfoot and Prongs, I just should have put it all together a lot quicker. Sometimes I fancy myself a super Auror, I guess not realising sooner made me realise I am no such thing. I've never been very good at admitting my own failings. Much easier to blame them on someone else."

Tonks threw Remus a smile, which an hour earlier he had been sure he would never see again. It relaxed him immediately. He grabbed his wand and magically stoked the fire, setting it roaring once again. "How did you realise by the way?"

Tonks thought for a moment, so much seemed to have happened in such a few hours. "It was a combination of you mentioning James was a seeker – you almost always refer to him as Prongs, is it? Prongs, so that is how I think of him. But tonight you kept saying James and then you mentioned Lily and bits of information I had read in Harry's file before starting this case came to me and I realised who you were. There are people mentioned in Harry's file, Lily and James Potter and their closest friends whose names are redacted. I guess because either Dumbledore or Kingsley did not think they were pertinent."

Remus was smiling. "You really are a super Auror you know."

Tonks looked pensive again, ignoring Remus' last comment she instead asked, "Are you really annoyed I didn't tell you I was a metamorphmagus?"

Remus felt awful, "No I am not annoyed. I am sorry I lashed out. You accused me and I threw whatever I could think of back at you. It was beneath me and I sincerely apologise."

It was Remus this time who put his hand on Tonks' knee and gave it a squeeze. "To tell the truth Tonks, I could not wait to see you to tell you just how impressive your transformation was. I have seen but two other metamorphmagi in my time and neither of them I believe would be able to transform mid run whilst under considerable duress. They both seemed to need to hone in and really concentrate. You really do have a remarkable talent."

Tonks smiled, "No one has ever called me remarkable before."

Remus returned the smile, "Well they clearly haven't gotten to know you as well as I have."

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