A/N - Thank you so much for coming back and continuing to read this story. Thank you for the reviews :) So timeline wise - I always said this would be AU and from here on in things may happen in different order or just at a completely different time than in canon. Anyway - Happy belated Christmas...
Magic Mistletoe and Moaning Bloody Myrtle
The few days leading up to Christmas were so peaceful and without complication that Remus' brain almost allowed himself to forget what an utter dolt he was. Until Tonks bounced up to him, her hair in soft pink curls around her shoulders, and demanded that he joined her outside for a walk in the freshly fallen snow.
So fresh and thick was the snow that Tonks didn't even sway once, let alone fall over. She did however, purposely throw herself on the ground. "Remus come on! However often is there fresh snow deep enough to make a proper snow angel." He couldn't help but beam as he watched her, carefree, rolling around in the fluffy white snow.
He plopped himself down next to her and spread his arms and legs out, leaving a half decent impression of Remus shaped snow angel. The pair, pleased with their work, continued to walk, commenting on the beauty of Hogwarts with so much snow and so little students. Remus relished being a teacher and some of his pupils were utter delights, but even he had to admit, a little break from the hecticness of over almost a thousand kids dashing around was quite refreshing.
As they walked back into the castle heading to the great hall for dinner, Tonks stopped abruptly and started to pull Remus to the stairs. "No, we aren't going to the Christmas meal yet, it's far too early" as she walked, pulling Remus with her, the curls around her shoulders bounced merrily, "besides, I want to give you your Christmas gift before dinner gets underway and we eat so much we forget our own names."
Remus chuckled, "Woah, I can see Christmas dinner is taken very seriously in the Tonks household. I don't think I've ever eaten so much I forgot my own name."
Tonks smiled, "That is because you've never had Christmas with a Tonks, but all that changes tonight."
The thrill of spending Christmas with Tonks was something he tried his hardest to suppress but feeling happier than he had in years, it was hard to keep his excitement hidden. For starters he couldn't seem to shift the silly grin that had moved in where his mouth usually resided. Nor could he dull the sparkle in his eyes or the warmth in his heart.
They reached their living quarters and Tonks practically skipped inside her room. Remus went into his own and put the kettle on. He retrieved Tonks' present from his desk and tried to drown out the voice in his head which told him to throw it in the bin and pretend he hadn't gotten her anything. Reasoning with himself once again, Remus hoped Tonks would see in his gift his hope for her, that she would find love, with someone truly worthy of her, not with him.
He tried to push the sadness that was desperately grasping, trying to take hold, back into its box inside his head but he didn't need to. The moment he heard Tonks' voice as she bounded into his room, the sadness retreated on its own.
"Merry Christmas Lupin!" She practically skipped over to him and held both arms out straight in front of her, waving a parcel right in front of his face.
"Thank you Nympha…Tonks." She eyed him coldly before he had chance to finish her first name. He smiled an apology and handed her the neatly wrapped rectangle from his desk.
The pair sat on Remus' couch. Staring at each other. "You first." Tonks looked as giddy about seeing Remus open his present as she was about opening her own.
Remus pulled at the corners of the paper carefully, pulling until he found an opening and then running his finger underneath. "Come on Lupin! We've not got all day– it'll be New Year before you get into it at this rate, just rip it!"
Remus looked at Tonks and rolled his eyes. "I most certainly will not just rip it – not something you have taken the time to so beautifully wrap." He seemed to continue opening the present at an even slower pace.
Now was Tonks' turn to roll her eyes – "the paper isn't the present, oh come here let me help you."
Remus pulled the parcel out of her reach, "No, no, no. You are the present giver, I am the present receiver, the present giver doesn't get to open the present!"
Tonks crossed her arms and stared at him, "If I miss any part of dinner Remus Lupin, I will hold you personally responsible – and I think I've mentioned already how seriously us Tonks' take our Christmas food."
Remus conceded and loosened the final piece of tape, the paper falling open flat as though it had never been used. Sat in the middle of the pristine piece of wrapping paper, was the most beautiful cardigan he had ever seen. It was beige with light brown shoulder patches and neck details, with some flecks of what looked like gold running through it.
Remus pulled it up and held it out. "Tonks, this is incredible. It must has cost you a fortune, I couldn't possibly…" Tonks rolled her eyes at Remus for the second time that Christmas Eve.
"Now listen Remus, before you get all noble and I can't accept this gift, you should know, it didn't cost a fortune, I'm really confused as to how that wrapping paper looks flatter and neater now than when I first used it to wrap your present and I made your cardigan."
Remus stared at the fabric in front of him and beamed. "You, you made this? For me?" Tonks returned his grin, "I did yeah. I wanted you to have something to remind you how special you are."
Remus stood immediately and took off his cardigan. He slipped his arms into the new one and turned to Tonks. "So what do you think?" She stood and stepped closer to him, adjusting his collar and pulling each side of the cardigan closed a little.
"There perfect," she paused, standing and starting at him, her hands still holding onto each side of the cardigan, "You know, I think the gold brings out your eyes."
Remus looked down as he could feel the flush spreading across his face. "Tonks, I don't know what to say. It is beautiful. It is honestly the best present anyone has ever given me."
Tonks threw her arms round Remus' neck. "I'm so glad you like it."
Remus could not stop smiling, he had never felt so smart. "Ok, now it's your turn."
The contrast between how they opened their gifts was comical. Tonks managed to dig her nail under the paper on one corner of the parcel and pulled it diagonally across. Two yanks and all the paper was on the floor by her feet.
At first Remus thought he had done something wrong, committed a serious mistake as Tonks seemed to have tears in her eyes. "Tonks, I'm sorry, I thought…"
Tonks looked up at Remus, blinking, "What? Oh! Oh no Remus, I love it! It's beautiful. The poem, the enchantment, all of it, it's so beautiful. Thank you, truly." For the second time in as many minutes, Tonks threw her arms around Remus' neck, this time he allowed himself to slide his arms around her waist and pull her close, just for a moment.
When she pulled away, she still had a look in her eyes that he couldn't quite read. "It's the most thoughtful gift anyone has ever given me Remus. Maybe you do know me on a deep personal level after all."
Remus laughed, "So does this mean I am forgiven for beating you Banshee Banal?"
Tonks eyed him suspiciously, "Well I haven't had time to complete my investigations as of yet. Jury is still out."
Remus felt his stomach do a somersault. The merriment of Christmas had allowed him to bury his uneasiness about his condition and about Tonks not knowing about his condition. He felt that every night spent with her that he didn't tell her was a new betrayal. But he just couldn't find the words to even begin.
After Tonks had placed her present safely in her room, the pair began to walk down to the Great Hall, both eager to sample the Christmas delights the house elves had in store for them. As staff often had family and friends to visit over Christmas, Tonks was excited to attend the dinner as herself – no disguise necessary.
As they walked the long corridor away from the staff living quarters, Tonks seemed quiet. Thoughtful. Remus immediately worried it was something to do with his gift. His brain went into overdrive, resurfacing all the arguments he had put to rest a million times over the past week. Finally, in an effort to force his brain to desist, he asked, "Tonks. Is everything ok? If you don't like your gift, I am sure the store would let you exchange it. Of course, I would need to rid it of all the enchantments first." He tried to sound cheery and not overly worried.
As they reached the prefects bathroom, Tonks stopped suddenly and turned to face Remus, grabbing his arm as she did so, pulling him so he was facing her too.
"Did you mean to do it Remus?" Remus blinked, unsure what she was talking about.
"The last line?" Your gift to me, the poem. There was an extra sentence. Did you add it or was it like that when you bought it?"
Remus looked down, ashamed, embarrassed and unsure how to answer.
Three words. That was all he had added. He had told himself she wouldn't notice. Or if she did, she'd think it was a mistake. That she'd never call him out on it.
Three words he had to get out, three words he couldn't deny anymore.
You are love.
Tonks stepped closer and tugged at his chin with her finger, gently lifting his head. "Remus, please. Did you add the last line?" Her voice was breathy, her face so close to his own.
Remus took in one deep breath and locked eyes with Tonks, "Yes. I added it. And I meant it."
The air around them seemed to stop moving, the noises Remus had been able to hear in the background, the merriment, the feast, the music, all seemed to have stopped. Nothing existed except Tonks. The woman whose fingers were on his chin, whose eyes focused just above their heads. Remus followed her gaze and smiled. Above them had appeared some magic mistletoe, the kind that only appeared on Christmas Eve when two people wanted to kiss but were unsure whether they should. No one really understood how it appeared or who was responsible for it, but it was a power bit of magic that Remus had only ever heard about, never witnessed until now.
He looked back at Tonks as her eyes flutter closed, he slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her close, their lips almost touching. He was about to close the last minuscule gap between them when he saw the nightscape out of the window just behind Tonks. The moon shining brightly, mocking him.
He was a werewolf and there was a tiny part of him, that he hadn't been able to destroy through his years of self-deprecation and abuse that believed somehow, one day some amazing woman would against all odds be able to love him. Maybe as a werewolf, he could be worthy of love, but if he allowed this kiss to happen before she knew who he was, he'd be a monster of a different kind.
Before he had time to pull away, a blood curdling scream and a jolt of cold coursed through him and made him jump back from Tonks, who seemed to have felt the same discomfort.
"Oooohhhh." Came the moan, "Alone, alone on Christmas Eve."
Remus turned to look where the noise was coming from, "And now so scared, I may have to die a second time."
Tonks seemed to have cottoned on a second before Remus, so caught up was he in what had almost happened, "Moaning Bloody Myrtle!"
Remus couldn't help but laugh as Tonk's continued, "Couldn't you see we were a little busy?" Myrtle moaned louder still.
"Of course, I could see. I'm dead not blind! Fine time to pick to make out with the dishy professor," Myrtle had floated over to Remus and was attempting to rub shoulders with him but was only succeeding in making the right side of his body feel incredibly cold.
"When there is a mass murderer loose in the Castle."
Tonks and Remus stared at each other for a second. This time it was Remus who gathered his thoughts first, "Myrtle, what are you talking about? Who is in the Castle?"
Myrtle flew up high into the corridor ceiling and sped back down stopping inches from Remus' face. "The other ghosts are all talking about it. Just a minute ago, one of them came through one of the toilets to escape the crush of students running from Gryffindor common room – I thought they were supposed to be brave. Horrid that Sirius Black, to ruin everyone's Christmas feast."
Instantaneously, Tonks and Remus took off at a sprint towards the Gryffindor Common Room. As they arrived Dumbledore was just leaving the portrait hole.
"Is it true? Was he here?" Remus gasped.
Dumbledore nodded glumly, "Yes I'm afraid so. He was here. He's destroyed one of the beds in the boys dormitory, clearly looking for something. I just wish I knew what." Dumbledore seemed to be speaking more to himself than anyone else.
"Was it Harry's bed?" Tonks asked.
Dumbledore looked at her and shook his head, "No, Ron Weasleys, though his bed is next to Harry's so he could have got the wrong one. Nymphadora, I've sent word to Kingsley, could you gather your team and get them to do perimeter searches, the staff will search inside the castl…" Dumbledore paused, "I'm sorry Tonks, I don't mean to take over. Headmasters habit, you should be telling me how to best handle all of this." Remus noticed a flicker, just for a second, of something akin to exhaustion cross Dumbledore's features.
"Not at all sir, your suggestions are exactly as I would have said. Get the ghosts to help with the castle search, they won't be able to apprehend him, but they can certainly get around the castle faster than the staff can, so might be able to help locating him. I suggest all the remaining students stay together in the Hufflepuff Common room for tonight so we can cast some tracker spells in the boys dormitory, see if we can figure out his path, what he touched. Maybe it will help us figure out what he was looking for."
Tonks knew she sounded more professional and confident than she felt. She just hoped they'd catch Black this time. How had it only been a few minutes since she was stood in a corridor, about to kiss the best man she'd ever met and now she was once again hunting for his mass murdering ex-best friend.
She glanced over at Remus who seemed a little stunned. She took his hand in hers and gave it a little squeeze, smiling at him as he looked up, before running off down to the entrance to speak to her team.
A/N. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I know I should have given you all a Christmas smooch but Remus just wouldn't be anything other than noble! What can I say? Well the next 4 chapters are written and I cannot WAIT for you to read them. Leave me a review to let me know what you think so far! :)