Disclaimer: I don't own Pretty Little Liars.
Author's note: This is dedicated to my friend Emma G and my friend Katie Hansen.
Hanna-Boo talk
Hanna Marin, Alison DiLaurentis and Aria Montgomery are in Alison's bedroom.
Alison's dildo is stuck in her pussy and Hanna tries to help.
"Uh...isn't it kinda awkward to help Ali with that...?" says Aria.
"Sure, but me is a good buddy who wanna help her." says Hanna.
"That's sweet." says Alison.
With a cute plop sound, the dildo comes out.
"Nice. If the dildo fit, all is well." says Hanna.
"Ya mean the shoe." says Aria.
"What...?" says Hanna.
"It's the shoe, Hanna. If the shoe fit." says Aria.
"Right, whatever." says Hanna.
"Okay..." says Aria.
Hanna Marin and Emily Fields eat lunch at the Grille.
"Caleb's dick's been unable to get hard the past 2 weeks." says Hanna.
"I did not need that sort of information, Han." says Emily.
"Sorry, but it's kinda frustrating for him and me. Both of us wanna have hot steamy sex, but until his dick get its power back it won't happen." says Hanna.
"Do you know what's wrong?" says Emily.
"According to Doctor Wendy Truado it's a mental trauma from almost getting killed that block Caleb's sexual ability." says Hanna.
"That's understandable. If that bullet had hit him 5 inches the left he'd be dead. If I was him I'd be too nervous to focus on sex as well." says Emily.
"Yeah. My pussy feel all empty though. I want something stiff in me very soon." says Hanna.
"Hanna, can we talk about something else? Please." says Emily.
"In a few. Do you have any suggestion on what I can do." says Hanna.
"The very straight girl asking the gay girl for advice about straigh sex. I've got absolutely zero. I'm sorry." says Emily.
"Guess I gotta hope that a dildo's enough to make me cum." says Hanna.
Emily simply nod a tiny bit.
"No need to feel awkward. You and me are old enough to talk about sexuality." says Hanna.
"True, but I don't like talking about it." says Emily.
"By the lick on a dick, joy comes to a cutie." says Hanna.
"What you just said, makes no sense." says Emily.
"Don't get your pussy twisted into an uptight pile of poop, Em." says Hanna.
"Please, no more sexual talk." says Emily.
"Me is done soon. With a flip of a pussy and the swing of a dick, the one and only Hanna-Boo shall get that cutie cute orgasm, for sure." says Hanna.
Emily look around and lucky for her, she and Hanna are two of few people in the room.
"Alright, done. Now we can switch subjects." says Hanna.
"Finally." says Emily.
"I happen to know that your b-day's comin' up next week so I've already bought your gift." says Hanna.
"Cute. I hope it's something good and nice." says Emily.
"It's an adorable item." says Hanna.
"Sweet. I was kinda afraid it'd be a naughty thing that I don't like." says Emily.
"No need to worry. It's not even close to naughty at all, Em." says Hanna.
"Awesome." says Emily.
"Will your b-day dinner be here at the Grille?" says Hanna.
"It sure will, Han. And you're invited as always. Cannot celebrate without my blonde sweet BFF." says Emily.
"Thanks. You're my BFF too. Yeah." says Hanna.
Hanna Marin and Spencer Hastings have coffee at the Brew.
"Spencer, what are you like when it comes to sex?" says Hanna.
"Don't expect me to answer such a dirty question, Hanna. That's very private. And don't go to Toby later and trick him into revealing anything." says Spencer.
"Chill, girl. I'm just curious." says Hanna.
"I know, but control your damn desires, okay? At least try." says Spencer.
"Me will try 'cause me wanna be the good buddy." says Hanna.
Hanna fart hard by accident.
"Opsss...sorry." says Hanna.
"Please, couldn't you've held that in until you made it to the bathroom?" says Spencer.
"Tried to, didn't work..." says Hanna.
"Not to be rude, but sometimes I honestly wonder why I'm friends with you." says Spencer.
"You cannot resist being buddy with a cutie cute chick like me, that's why." says Hanna, talking in a weird baby-voice.
"I'm not so sure that truly is my reason." says Spencer.
"Admit that I'm too much fun to not hang out with." says Hanna.
"You can be fun a lot. Though you can also be rather annoying." says Spencer.
"Caleb love me for me." says Hanna.
"I know. And I love you as well, as a friend. Still, I'd like to see you be less typical Hanna Marin, if you know what I mean." says Spencer.
"Spence, don't ask me to give up me." says Hanna.
"To ask someone I've known for years to give up her true self would be stupid. I simply wish for you to behave better." says Spencer.
"Kinda hard for me to behave in any other way than I usually do." says Hanna.
"Therapy can help with that. I heard that Doctor Sullivan is back in town." says Spencer.
"I've had enough time in her office. Sure, she did help me and I'm glad she did. I even said thank you to her, but I'm not a big fan of therapy-crap." says Hanna.
"Whatever floats your boat, I guess." says Spencer.
"Yay..." mumbles Hanna in a sarcastic way.
"Right." says Spencer.
"I got this for you at the mall yesterday." says Hanna as she open her bag and pull out a violet plushie dog.
"Thanks, even if I am way too old for a plush toy." says Spencer with a small smile as she grab the soft plush animal.
"You're mature. That I know. I just thought it could be something for sad long nights alone and such." says Hanna.
"Okay. I do appreciate that you care and I don't wanna be the rude lady who deny a free gift from a friend. So...thanks." says Spencer.
"Awww! Soooo cute!" says a happy Hanna.
Hanna and her mom eat dinner.
"Mom, do you masturbate often?" says Hanna.
"At least once a week, if you must know. I'm single, as you're well aware of, so it's not like I have a man to do things with." says Ashley.
"Cute. Masturbation is sooo adorable and cozy." says Hanna.
"I assume you masturbate quite a bit then." says Ashley.
"Yeah. When I'm not able to be with Caleb." says Hanna.
"Okay." says Ashley.
"It also helps when I cannot sleep." says Hanna.
"That's true. I would masturbate myself to sleep many times back when I was young like you are now." says Ashley.
"Nice. Sweet." says Hanna.
"Yes, it was pretty sweet." says Ashley.
"Yay." says a happy Hanna.
"When I got pregnant I never imagined that someday I'd be talking to my own daughter about sex...by the dinner table of all places." says Ashley.
"Chill, mommy. You and I both love sex." says Hanna.
"Right. Could we perhaps talk about something else, Hanna?" says Ashley.
"Sure." says Hanna.
"Good. Have you found a college yet?" says Ashley.
"No, but Spencer's gonna help me find a good one." says Hanna.
"Alright." says Ashley.
Hanna and Aria hang out in Aria's room.
"Aria, I saw Em and Ali grind their lady-parts against each other through their sweatpants earlier. You should've seen it. It was so awesome." says Hanna.
"Why did you spy on them?" says Aria.
"Me didn't spy. It happened in public in the park." says Hanna.
"Oh, but I still don't think they wanted ya too watch 'em, Han." says Aria.
"Well...I did and it was quite the show. I did really like to look." says Hanna.
"You're straight." says Aria.
"True. I still like to look at gay chicks goin' at it though. It's hot." says Hanna.
"Too much information already." says Aria.
"Fine." says Hanna.
The End.