Thanks to everyone still reading :) Reading your comments and seeing people fav and follow this fic really is lovely, especially when the whopping 7,000 word chapter I've just finished was giving me such a headache! I wrote this next chapter on International Women's Day. It's a funny old world - in so many ways society has come to far and yet in others - women are still not seen or treated as equals. To anyone who has ever been made to feel less anything because of your gender - I see you and you're amazing.

Chapter 25 – 'Cos she was sleeping her way to the top…

As the days got brighter and longer, Tonks realised her mood improved too. She was sure that as a teenager, the weather had never factored into how she felt or acted but the older she got, the more she appreciated the first signs that Summer was well and truly on its way. Spring had announced its arrival in the most spectacularly beautiful fashion. Hogwarts grounds were full of dandelions, daffodils and daisies, birds twittered in the trees and insects buzzed as they sailed by on the breeze. Tonks was much more excited about perimeter checks, enjoying the warmth on her skin as she double checked the safety and security of the castle. It still bothered her that Sirius had been able to get into Hogwarts, not once but twice. Though Remus had certainly been an unexpected distraction since she'd arrived on this assignment, she knew she had done everything she could to ensure that no witch or wizard other than students and staff would be able to enter Hogwarts. Yet somehow Sirius had – and undetected too.

Last week she had taken a day away from Hogwarts. She had gone into her old office in the Ministry. She wanted to do some research, dig out some old information on Hogwarts protections, see if she was missing something. She also took the opportunity to meet with Kingsley, update him (not that much was happening) and the pair had chatted about just how Black could be getting on the grounds. She'd also been able to have lunch with some of her colleagues, who she was surprised had been so happy to see her – it seemed absence really did make the heart grow fonder. None of them had really made much effort with her in the past, but apparently, they had missed her 'positive outlook' in meetings and training and her ability to 'keep things light', even when things were tough. She was touched and it gave her hope that maybe things could be different once the school year was over and she would be back to working from the Ministry every day.

Or would she?

She had always seen this assignment as short term, then as the search for Black had continued, she had assumed she'd be at Hogwarts for the full school year, but she hadn't really thought about the possibility that summer would come and go and Sirus would still not have been caught – but what would happen if they didn't find him before July? Would she continue her protection detail duties of Harry, watching him from a distance as he stayed with his Aunt and Uncle? Would she come back to Hogwarts next year if Black was still on the run?

Tonks' brain naturally flashed the thought of Remus before her eyes. Did she want to spend another year working in such proximity to him?

She had kept to her word, since their discussion last month about being just friends. She had stopped herself from hugging him too much, she resisted the urge to snuggle up with him when they chatted in his living quarters or hers. She did not allow herself to take his hand when they occasionally got time off together and could apparate away from Hogwarts and take walks along the coasts of Scotland. She could easily control her behaviour when she was around him – and treat him as she would any other friend.

What she couldn't control was her feelings.

She fancied him – it sounded churlish and crass, but it was just the way it was. The way he made her heart beat just a little faster whenever he caught her eye or brushed passed her. The way his brow furrowed so deeply whenever he was concentrating, the way he sighed dramatically whenever he didn't know the answer to a clue in the muggle crosswords he loved doing so much...

And then there was the beige.

She remembered laughing when they had first met – wondering how anyone could really like beige. Who was laughing now! Beige had taken up a whole new place in her world view. Beige was safe, calming, exciting, fun and sexy. Beige was Remus.

It was all well and good Remus saying they should just be friends; she knew he was right. She had worked too hard and for too long for her career to be ruined before it had really even begun. Though she would be willing to defend her relationship with Remus, and she was pretty sure Kingsley would too – just having to defend herself on any form of impropriety so early on in her career seemed unwise.

But her feelings weren't a tap – she couldn't' just switch them off – go back to thinking of Remus only as a friend. Stop feeling all tingly whenever he took his cardigan off and she saw a glimpse of well-toned muscle on the arms he usually hid. She couldn't convince her brain that she wasn't attracted to him anymore than he could convince his. She saw him wrestling with himself occasionally too. When she'd lent over him last week to grab some paper from the coffee table next to him, when Spring had allowed her at long last to wear a skirt and have her legs out, when he had looked after her when she'd had a miserable day a few weeks earlier. She had been sad for no reason, starving no matter how much she ate and weepy at the most ridiculous things – like seeing a third year help a first year with a tricky engorgio charm – it was clearly hormonal – though she hadn't told Remus that. He'd popped by her room with a couple of bars of chocolate and some butterbeers. She was too tried to hold a morph though she'd felt slightly embarrassed when he had first arrived, she had soon forgotten her hair hung around her face, mousy and brown, not vivid and pink. When she'd mentioned that not many people had ever seen her with no morph at all he had simpered and lamented about how beautiful her natural hair colour was.

How beautiful she was. Inside and out.

That was the only time in the past six weeks that they had almost allowed things to slip past 'just friends' physically. They had both lent in and she knew against all her better judgement she would have let him kiss her, but at the last moment he had pulled away, apologised profusely and left her with another bar of honeydukes chocolate as a parting gift.

So physically – sure they were still 'just friends' but emotionally they hadn't been 'just friends' in months now.

Reluctantly, she took the path which would take her back into the castle. She had a meeting with Dumbledore in 10 minutes and she didn't want to arrive a sweltering, sweaty mess from having to run. It wasn't just Remus' company that she had enjoyed since being back at Hogwarts, it was the familiarity. Even now as she walked the long, sunlit corridors, she felt safe, comforted. She pitied the students – like her when she'd been in their position, she was sure they were desperate to get finished with their schooling, their exams and get out into the big wide world. Oh, what Tonks would give now for the simple, carefree days she'd spent at Hogwarts, when the most stressful thoughts related to failing an exam or whether she had upset one of her friends with her bluntness, once again.

She arrived at the phoenix statue entrance with a few minutes to spare just as Dumbledore rounded the corner himself. The pair chatted amiably as they made their way up to his office.

After they had exhausted all possible security risks and chatted about the theories her and Kingsley had come up with about how Sirius could be getting onto the grounds, Dumbledore offered Tonks a cup of tea.

"That would be lovely, if you have time."

Dumbledore set the kettle going with the tiniest wave of his wandless hand. "Oh, I think we have both earned ourselves a cup of tea and some of the cake I nabbed earlier from the kitchens."

Tonks smiled, she had always marvelled at Dumbledore's ability to switch from professional, headmaster to kindly friend in a matter of seconds. It was a line she always struggled to toe. She had worked so desperately hard to be the seen as the same as everyone else, because she had to work desperately hard where her colleagues could just work, she had to prove herself over and over. She had been the only witch on the Auror training scheme and younger than any of the wizards by at least 4 years. Most of them had assumed she was being fast tracked because of her morphing abilities, whilst others had felt that someone with her family history, with any connection to the house of Black, shouldn't be allowed anywhere near the ministry. She always assumed that was why Mad Eye had taken her under his wing. He'd seen how the others treated her from day one and he'd let her know that he certainly didn't approve of their behaviour but that she was going to have to get used it, because the world wasn't fair and people held more prejudices than they cared to admit, especially he had told her a year into her training when she'd felt like giving up, when they can see someone has more talent than they do.

Even with perfect scores across the board – even in tracking and stealth, (somehow it seemed when she was concentrating on being an Auror, she didn't trip over herself quite so much); Scrimgeour hadn't seemed eager to give her a prime Auror position. It had been Moody and later Kingsley who had become her full-time cheerleaders, supporting her at every turn.

It seemed funny now, to think back to when she had started her training programme. She had arrived with her natural hair, tied in a bun, worn no make up and plain black clothes, covered by a plain black cloak. It wasn't until mid-way through her second year that she had realised it didn't matter what she looked like – she was a woman, a young woman, a young talented woman in an environment domineered by men. If she didn't wear make-up, she wasn't professional enough, if she did it was 'clearly 'cos she had the hots for one of them'. If she dressed with colour, she was too silly, all black, too dour, she took herself too seriously. They told her to smile more, she was prettier when she smiled, they told her to calm down when she was frustrated, told her she was 'too dramatic', they ignored her suggestions as implausible, only to accept the same plans from one of her male colleagues' moments later. When she led trainee missions, she was labelled bossy, when she turned down one of her fellow trainees' advances, she was labelled frigid. When she received positive comments from trainers or good marks in exams, it was 'cos she was sleeping her way to the top' or because she could just morph into whatever the examiner wanted her to.

She'd put her head down and gotten on with it. Finally, one day she'd turned up as herself – dressed how she liked to dress, her hair the way she usually wore it at the weekend, pink and spikey. She'd traded her black clothes for band t-shirts, when she knew she'd be wearing Auror cloaks over the top anyway. She had continued to keep her head down and work harder than any of them – she was determined to prove to them all that she was just as capable, if not more so than all of them.

There had been exceptions of course, a few lads that she trained with who were fairly decent. Some had been brave enough to stand up for her, though they usually always suffered for it themselves in some way later. After four long years, she had graduated, top of her class and in the end, even Scimgeour couldn't argue with her test scores and the recommendations she had received from all of her trainers – she had been awarded one of the Auror positions at the Ministry of Magic. Some of the lads she had trained with had failed out right, others had been offered further training, some were now her colleagues.

Mad Eye in his usual gruff sort of way had told her that the fight wasn't over – that he believed she should be running the department one day, but that she'd have to fight. She'd have to work ten times harder than any of her colleagues to be in with a shot – and she had.

Sitting now in Dumbledore's office, sipping on her tea and nibbling at the cake he had served her, she sighed loudly without meaning to.

"Tonks, is everything quite alright? You don't quite seem yourself today, if I may note."

Tonks smiled at him, "I'm fine, it has just been a long year I guess." She didn't expect Dumbledore to believe her but hoped he might pity her and just move on. He didn't.

"Tonks, I hope you aren't taking the fact that Sirius Black has twice broken into Hogwarts as some sign that you are in someway not doing your job sufficiently."

How? How did he do that? Did anyone have proof that Dumbledore wasn't actually a legilimens or were his glasses magical somehow, like Moody's faux eye?

"Well, I won't pretend it has been a career highlight for me. I was sent here to protect Harry and yet somehow twice Black has sneaked through. I just cannot understand how."

Dumbledore smiled kindly, "Neither can I, nor Kingsley, nor anyone at the entire Ministry for Magic Tonks. You must not blame yourself for something that no one seems to have a handle on. We are talking about a wizard who managed to escape from Azkaban, a feat that should have been utterly impossible."

It was hard not to feel a little better when Dumbledore spoke so earnestly. "But that isn't all that is troubling you is it?"

Tonks shook her head and couldn't help this time saying, "Is there some magical property to those glasses we should know about?" She smiled at him before continuing, "I'm just struggling I guess," she paused wondering if she even knew how to put into words what she was feeling, "struggling with how to balance being an Auror and burying myself in my work completely and, and…"

Dumbledore lent forward in his chair, his hands clasped on his desk in front of him, "and have a life?"

Tonks laughed, "Yes, exactly. It's been harder than I imagined it would be. I've always managed to keep work and life separate, this year it seems to have melded more than I'd like to admit."

Dumbledore shifted in his seat and for just the briefest of moments, looked slightly uncomfortable before he said, "Tonks, I…that is, well I just wondered if any of this had anything to do with Remus – when he requested you leave… if you don't find me too impertinent for asking."

Tonks was surprised he'd asked, but not offended, "Yes, in a way."

Dumbledore nodded and carefully took a sip from his magically still hot tea, "I see." He replaced the cup back in it's saucer, "Tonks how much do you know about Remus' friendship with the Potters, with James and Lily I mean?"

Tonks shrugged, "Erm, I know that Remus regarded them as his best friends, along with Sirius and Peter."

Dumbledore nodded, "And did you know that Lily and James asked Remus to be Harry's godfather?"

Tonks shook her head, "I thought Sirius was Harry's godfather?"

Dumbledore nodded, "Oh sadly he is. But before they asked him, they asked Remus. I suspect they would have had both if they could, but James felt that Remus was the most reliable of all his friends and Lily felt Remus was the kindest, with the biggest capacity for love of anyone she had ever met. But he declined their offer."

Tonks shook her head again, confused, "He declined to be Harry's godfather?"

Dumbledore's lips were in a thin line as he nodded, "Mmm, he doted on Harry of course, and he was a big part of Harry's life from the day he was born but he insisted that they ask Sirius instead. He had felt like he wasn't best placed to be godfather."

Tonks sat silently, reflecting on this unexpected information, just as her mind decided to wonder why Dumbledore was telling her this, he spoke again, "My point, I suppose, is Remus will always put others before himself, always try to be honourable and noble even when, perhaps, occasionally he should just think, for a moment, about what would make him happy."

Dumbledore was definitely a legilimens. And he had stunned Tonks into silence.

She nodded slowly. "I see…"

"Tonks, I hope you don't mind me…"

She shook her head, "No, Dumbledore, thanks. It's good to know. I guess in a way, he wouldn't be Remus – if he wasn't so thoughtful of others."

Dumbledore smiled and nodded, "Yes, I suppose that is true."

Tonks stared at the man in front of her for a few seconds, even just a few months ago, she never would have expected to be sat in his office, eating her second piece of cake, sipping tea and having a heart to heart with him. Yet somehow here she was and bizarrely it felt completely natural.

"Dumbledore, can I ask you a question?"

He smiled and nodded his agreement, "How do you stop from making work so personal. I mean how do you detach yourself, remain professional. It seems it is a skill I have yet to master."

Unexpectedly Dumbledore laughed, "Detached… oh Tonks. I don't. When you care about your work the way you and I do, the professional is personal and there is nothing wrong with that. You need to set boundaries for yourself of course, but in the end, what sets you apart from the hundreds of others that have come through the Auror training before you and those that will follow after you, is just how personal the job is to you. You care about the work Tonks, the people you encounter, the stories, – that is so important. Never lose sight of that. It is a skill many of your colleagues will never possess."

Tonks smiled, "Thank you. I think I rather needed to hear that." She finished what was remaining of her tea and began to make her departure. "Thanks again for the tea and cake and ummm… the chat. It was lovely."

Dumbledore smiled, "You are welcome to my office for any or all of those things any time Tonks, I hope you know that."

As she reached the door, Dumbledore cleared his throat, "Oh and Tonks, don't give up on our friend Remus, will you. I suspect a friend like you is exactly what he needs."

Tonks smiled at Dumbledore, "I promise. He'll always have my friendship and support, for as long as he wants it."

Dumbledore looked at her over his halfmoon spectacles, looking ever the headmaster, "There may well come a time when he'll try to convince you he wants neither – that is, of course, when he'll need both from you the most."

I hope you are all doing well - I'd love it if you could take a moment to tell me what you think so far... :)