A/N - Firstly, I hope you are all safe and well. If you're able too, please stay home and if you're a key worker - thank you! You're amazing. So we are coming to the last 5 chapters of this fic - which sounds like a lot but I have written 4 of them so I only have one more to write! Gah! It feels oddly emotional - though I haven't left the house for three weeks, so it could be that too!
Chapter 27 – File 5794 RRL/RJL.
Tonks woke just a few hours later and, snuggled into Remus' side as she was, she debated whether she could just stay there. Whether the pair of them could just stay there and be. Together.
Reluctantly, she slid from under Remus' arm gently, wanting him to continue sleeping whilst she went to the Ministry.
She went into her bedroom and gathered together the clothes that were strewn across her floor. As she emerged back into her living room 20 minutes later, she was marvelling at how quietly she had managed to shower, dress and pack her bag. As she was metaphorically taping herself on the back, she of course tripped, knocking a nearby lamp and sending it tumbling, loudly onto the floor.
She winced and snapped her head round to see if she had woken Remus, but he didn't flinch. She carefully extracted her cloak from the back of a chair and crept over to the door, carrying her boots, cloak and wand in her hands. As her hand curled around the doorknob she startled as Remus spoke.
"Tonks, can I ask another favour." She turned and nodded, "Could you also copy File 5794. It isn't related to the Black case, but I'd like to see it all the same."
Tonks nodded and slipped out into the corridor, trying desperately not to think just how sexy Remus looked, sitting on her sofa, half wrapped in a blanket, his hair messy from sleep.
She arrived at the Ministry before 8.30am, she passed a handful of people as she walked but once inside it was fairly quiet – just a few unlucky ministry employees milling around as they worked away their weekend. Whilst the Auror headquarters were on Level 2, Tonks made her way to the basement, to the Records and Ratifications Office. The office was the one stop shop in the Ministry for any and all records, ancient ones, old ones, new ones that needed filing – Tonks had spent many hours there as a trainee Auror – Mad Eye utterly convinced that an Auror was only as good as her knowledge of criminal history.
"Tonks! What are you doing down here?" A kindly looking wizard, in his early 50's greeted Tonks from behind his desk. "I'd have thought you'd have people to trawl through case files these days – at the very least a trainee Auror."
Tonks smiled, "Tom! It's so good to see you. Oh, you know trainees, can't get one to work a Saturday for all the Galleons in Gringotts."
Tom guffawed loudly, "You always were dedicated to the cause. So you're a fully qualified Auror now? Always knew you'd make good. Jim and I always used to say, we'd say to each other, that Tonks will make good she will."
Tonks was positively beaming, she had forgotten just how good it was to chat to Tom. In the endless hours she had spent down in the basement in her 4 years of training, she had never seen Tom less than deliriously happy. He had a kind word for everyone he interacted with and was always eager to help in any way he could. "Thanks Tom, I miss you and Jim. I'm sorry I don't get down to see you both much anymore, I'm not stationed at headquarters at the moment, I'm on, what is turning out to be, a fairly a long-term assignment so I'm rarely in the Ministry at all."
Tom batted away her apology, "You just keep catching dark wizards and don't be giving no mind to me and old Jim, we're just happy to see you whenever you need a file or two. Speaking of, can I help you with anything today?"
Tonks made a mental note to pop down to the basement more often once she was back at headquarters every day. "I've just a got a few old case files I want to have a read through, maybe take some copies away with me, nothing classified, all 10 + years old." Tom nodded. "There is one other file I wanted a copy of too, I'm not sure what classification it is though, it's File 5794."
Tonks could see Tom's eyes twinkle. There was nothing he loved more than hunting a difficult to track file. "Not a problem, never had a file I've been unable to find, you know." Tonks did know this fact, Tom had told her it many times, as he told everyone who interacted with him down in the basement. It was something he was very proud of. "You go on in and copy the other files you need and I'll have File 5794 ready and waiting for you by the time you're done."
Tonks smiled and headed to the furthest door on the left, "Thanks Tom, won't be long" she shouted over her shoulder. The plaque on the door she wanted read, Case Files, 10+ years. Tonks headed inside and approached a large semi-circle shaped desk which stood in the middle of the room. She sat in the one chair available, two others were filled with a witch in one and a wizard in another. She held her wand up in front of her and traced the word Potter in the air. Immediately an opaque vision of a folder floated before her, on the right were tabs, she used her wand to scroll down along the tabs, Potter, P (1882), Potter, F.T (1916) Potter, J and Potter, L 1981). Tonks hovered over the ghostly looking folder and flipped her wand towards herself, catching the file as it flew into her hand. She opened the file to check it was the right one and saw enough names to convince her it was. Moving on, in the same way, she searched for Black but this time found the folders had a padlock next to them, from her painful hours down here, she knew that meant the files were classified. Next she wrote the word Pettigrew and as she had hoped, his file was not classified. Whoever had been tasked with classifying the Black case files had not done a thorough job and Tonks was eternally grateful to them, though also a little peeved – Moody would have hexed her into oblivion if she had made such an obvious omission. She copied all the files and made her way back into the reception area of Records and Ratifications.
"Told you I'd find it. It was a tricky one mind, I've not been through the child case files for a number of months, especially the dark creature ones." Tom was beaming, clearly happy with his find. Tonks smiled, wanting to be polite, but her focus remained on what he had just said – child cases within the dark creature category… why would Remus want a file like that?
"Did you find everything else you needed?" Hearing Tom's comment, she looked up at him and nodded.
"I did, thanks Tom. It really was good to see you. I'll come see you again soon."
Tom beamed at her, "Do, we always loved having you down here. Don't miss the mess you used to leave behind when you'd trip and knock files flying everywhere mind." Tom chuckled loudly and Tonks couldn't help but join in.
"Don't tell everyone! I'm an Auror now, I've got a reputation to maintain."
Tom smiled again, "And a thumping good one at that I'd wager. You do us proud you do Tonks. See you soon lass."
Tonks practically skipped out of the Ministry and into the London sunshine. The warmth beating down on her face made her forget all about File 5794…for all of about 2 minutes. She apparated back to Hogsmeade and as she walked back to the Castle, she wondered whether it would be wrong of her to look at the file. Remus had asked for her help with the Black stuff, she wouldn't have felt bad for reading those files – though apart from glancing to make sure they were the right ones, she hadn't yet had time.
But somehow the other file, 5794 seemed different – because Remus had specifically said it had nothing to do with the Black case, which in turn meant that really, it had nothing to do with her.
Child cases, within the dark creature category.
The thought consumed her. Did Remus suspect that Sirius was a dark creature, was this case something he had been following? No - Remus had said it was nothing to do with Black.
A voice in her head told her to just open the file. There would be a summary page at the back where she could read the brief, pertinent parts of the report. Surely Remus would have specifically asked her not to read it, if he didn't want her to.
Yet another, louder voice warned her that opening that file was the last thing she wanted to do. The same voice told her she knew what the folder contained. Remus, his illnesses, his secretiveness about them, his lack of attachment to anyone other than the friends he'd had in school and his old headmaster… she closed her eyes against the onslaught of this voice.
You know exactly what that folder will confirm. Isn't is Remus' place to decide who he tells and how?
Tonks couldn't form the words in her head, couldn't think them. Didn't want to read them.
Speeding up, she focused on getting the Black files to Remus as soon as possible.
He was still in her living quarters when she arrived back there. As she opened the door, he seemed not to notice her arrival. Tonks heart plummeted at the sight on him. Professor Remus Lupin, so dependable, so caring, so wise, so distinguished; sat now on her sofa, his legs curled up, blanket covering them, hugging a cushion close to himself and staring into the empty fireplace. He looked so young, so scared, so tired.
Tonks approached the sofa and once she was in front of him spoke, gently, "Remus, are you OK"?
Remus started; he really hadn't noticed her entering the room. "Sorry, Nymphadora, have you been there long?"
Tonks shook her head, unable to chastise a broken man for using her dreaded first name - for a broken man was exactly what Remus Lupin currently was. She had never seen someone looking so forlorn. Without much thought, Tonks kicked off her boots and climbed on the sofa and squeezed in next to Remus. Looking at her for just a second, holding her gaze, she couldn't help but think how much he looked like a child – perhaps a child who… Tonks shook the thought from her mind, as Remus lent his head on her chest and she wrapped her arms around him.
She knew he was crying, not because he made any noise but because his shoulders gave him away. Though small, she could feel them shuddering as he wept. Pulling him closer she prayed to a God she was not particularly well acquainted with, except for use of his name whenever she tripped; that Remus' pain would be taken away – that he'd be freed from the heartache he seemed to have been holding on to since his friends had died or been arrested for mass murder. She also prayed for the wisdom to know how to comfort him.
After what felt like hours, but Tonks knew had probably only really been about 20 minutes, Remus sat up, pulling out his handkerchief and dabbing his face he spoke barely above a whisper, "Tonks, I am so very sorry. I don't know where that… I didn't mean to…"
Tonks swatted him on arm, which had the desired effect of making him look at her, "Remus Lupin, don't you dare. We're friends, aren't we? If you can't have a hug and cry with a friend, then the world would be a much sadder place. You look more like you than when I got back – it clearly did you some good."
Remus nodded slowly and smiled gratefully at her. "The files. You're back from the Ministry, did you…" The words spilled out as Remus had clearly only just remembered where Tonks had gone that morning.
"Yes, yes I went to the ministry and I have all the files you asked for," Tonks waved her bag at him, then pulled it away as he leaned forward to take it from her, "But, you aren't looking at them until we've both had some breakfast... well, lunch now I guess." Sensing Remus was about to argue with her she continued, "Remus, it's almost lunch time, you've had a stressful few days and I'm guessing you haven't been eating properly – you know as well as I do that trawling through these files will be easier once you've got proper fuel inside you."
Standing and holding a hand out for him she continued, "Now come on, let's go down to lunch." When he didn't move, she added, "Don't make me use my Auror voice."
At this Remus laughed, the sound was like a symphony to Tonks' ears. "I think I'd quite like to hear your Auror voice."
Tonks forced a scowl, "I can assure you, you wouldn't. Even my parents don't argue with my Auror voice."
Remus took the hand she still offered and smiled, "Well, I better not try my luck then. You're right, now you mention food, my stomach seems to have remembered it's starving."
A/N - Lovely readers, every follow, fav and review is so very much appreciated, they really do bring a smile to my face!
I have another Remus and Tonks fic already written (much shorter than this one!) which is currently being checked over by a friend, but if you'd like to know when it's published, remember to follow me as an author :)