And suddenly, it was time.

Triwathon rose from the litter of his desk, left his uniform coat hanging over his chair and put on an informal jerkin before making his way to the musterpoint.

He stood back, just inside the doorway watching the activity for a moment. Outside, three wagons waited, the horses being harnessed in place while families and single travellers gathered together around their belongings and waited to climb on.

wNarunir's escort company were busy about the wagons, helping to load belongings, and there was a familiar figure leaning against one of the wheels chatting easily to Narunir…

Triwathon swallowed, guilt coming back to haunt him. Thindorion had been a good friend all those years ago; he deserved more than just two days, one night… but the elf did not seem sad, laughing and joking with the escort elves.

'Oh, Thindo!' Triwathon mouthed the words silently but the elf looked up, and seemed to catch sight of him there, in the shadows, dropping his pack into the wagon bed and loping over.

He reached out to Triwathon's collar, pretending to straighten it and laughed as he took the opportunity to tap Triwathon's chin with casual affection.

'Hello! You're here!'

'Hello yourself, Thindo. I said I'd try to, and…' Triwathon shrugged, fearful of saying something at this point to hurt his friend. 'So. You've a long journey to Ithilien and the ship. I hope it goes smoothly for you.'

'I almost wish I wasn't going… but I know it's the right thing for me now. You were the last thing I needed to do, oh, that sounds wrong! Saying goodbye, I mean. And last night… thank you!' Thindo's smile broke into a beaming grin. 'I have a store of sweet, private memories to warm me forever.'

Triwathon shook his head, smiling, suddenly shy. 'It was, indeed, a memorable night. Thindo, I…' He opened his arms and hugged his friend. 'Take care, my dear friend. Be well.'

'And you, Little-elkling.'

The hug lasted just exactly long enough to be almost too long. A call from Narunir for stragglers made Thindo sigh.

'I suppose that means it's time to go.'

'Thindo… no regrets?'

'Only that I didn't come sooner. I'll be fine, do not you worry about me!' Thindorion began to make for his wagon, walking backwards. 'I'll not want for company, never fear; I think I will pay a visit to that helpful ellon in the King's Office, who arranged this for me… Parvon, is it? He has nice eyes, even if he does look sad… but perhaps I can cheer him! Farewell, now!'

Triwathon stood staring as Thindorion loped away and leapt into the wagon, turning to wave as the horses moved off.

…but… but how dare he, how dare he talk of Parvon in such a way? That was not acceptable, it was… was wrong, and… and… Well, Parvon would soon tell him, send him on his way with a scathing rebuff ringing in his ears…

Wouldn't he?

And, and why did it matter, suddenly, what Parvon said to Thindo…?

'Commander Triwathon, just the person I was hoping to see…!'

His train of thought broken, Triwathon snapped his head round to see Master Merenor a little distance away.

'Me…?'

'Indeed, although I see you're not, strictly speaking, in uniform…'

What? Triwathon saw Merenor gesturing, heard the words but they made no sense in his head; all that mattered was Thindo talking to Parvon and it really, really bothered him and he didn't know why…

'…but that's fine, it is not a garrison matter…'

Triwathon shook his head. Now was not the time, he needed to get away from people, needed to think…

He made some sort of warding off gesture and turned on his heel to march towards his garrison office. Merenor, undaunted, followed.

'…just a quick question, I can see you've things on your mind…'

'I am sorry, I have matters of urgency…'

'It is but a moment I need and can talk as you walk if I must…'

Triwathon heaved a sigh and stopped; he was really being very rude to one of the kindest elves in the New Palace and it wasn't fair…

Although didn't feel like being fair, not right now…

'Come to my office,' he said.

'I am grateful,' Merenor said as they reached Triwathon's door and the commander opened it to permit him to enter. 'As I say, it will not take long; it is simply that… oh, dear me, you have been busy…!'

Ah. Triwathon had forgotten the state of his desk, strewn with discarded beginnings of letters. But Merenor behaved as if the crumpled carnage all around was perfectly normal as he took a seat, giving Triwathon time to recover some of his composure.

'What can I do for you, Master Merenor?'

'It is but that I happened to walk into the Palace Office to find my dear grandson on his knees under the desk in a manner not at all befitting the Elf-in-Temporary-Charge of the Palace Office, searching for a letter he believes is missing. Now, strictly speaking I ought not be here, I should…'

Triwathon tuned out again distracted by all the false starts of his attempt to write to Parvon.

'…so, you see, he thinks he has lost your letter to Parvon… Or did you ask your friend Thindorion the Dyer to take it for you…? I wish Faerveren had known, he is in such a tizzy, poor fellow!'

'There… there is no letter for Parvon this time, I have been busy…' Triwathon managed, stunned at the wrongness of asking his last-night's lover to take a message to his dearest friend who had inappropriate feelings for him. 'I… if Faerveren was anxious, I am sorry, Merenor.'

'No letter? Are you sure? That is, it looks to me as if there are several letters here, all in different stages of completion …'

'Merenor, this is…' He swallowed down the words 'none of your business' and found some better ones. '…kind of you. But you are right, I have not been able to find…' the words '…the time to write to Parvon.'

Merenor nodded. The commander looked tired, and sad, and, given the friendly hugs he'd witnessed being exchanged, perhaps parting from his friend might account for that. But long years of experience in charge of Matters Matrimonial at the Old Palace made him wary of jumping to the easiest conclusion; there was more to Triwathon's tragic eyes than just saying farewell to the handsome dyer… perhaps a different approach would help…

'Of course, you have been busy with your friend here, and leading target practice and staying up all night talking, no doubt… I like that Thindorion, you know. Nice, respectable elf, does some lovely things with colours… clever hands, but I suspect you might know more about that than me, no, don't bridle up there, penneth, I was trying to ease the tension, make you smile… He's sailing, they say.'

'Yes. That's so. I've known him since my early days in the guard, but we'd lost touch.'

'It must be hard, not seeing him for so long, and then here he is, and now he's gone again…?'

'Strange, but when he arrived, it was as if we'd met only a few days previously…'

'Ah, there are elves like that, you just fall back into company with them as easy as comfortable shoes at the end of the day! You'll miss him, of course?'

'I will, a little. But he is not as important to me as… oh, that sounds terrible, after last night, and… but it is just friendship between us, and…'

'Then what's hurting your fëa so, penneth?' Merenor asked in his most avuncular manner. 'Come, we have known each other for many years, there's something amiss, you'll feel better for telling me, yes?'

'It is… Oh, I do not know! It is true, I have been busy, but I should not ever be too busy for Parvon, he has been such a good friend to me, but…'

'Well, I happen to know there's a few families joining the convoy at the next village east; it's bound to cause a delay, at least an hour, I would think. Now, I could ask my Canadion to dash through the canopy and he'd be there before the wagons arrive, I bet, and even with the time it takes to write a little note, he could get there easily; you've got twenty minutes, an hour, even…'

Triwathon shook his head.

'Twenty minutes isn't enough. An hour isn't enough. A week isn't enough, Master Merenor, a month wouldn't be, not after… I cannot write anything that does not have Thindorion in and it would be unkind to Parvon, he would be… I am embarrassed, perhaps, I… I cannot… I do not know if you are aware, but… but Parvon believes he has feelings for me and…'

'Lad,' Merenor said quietly. 'Half the forest knows Parvon has feelings for you. And he's away from his home and missing the people he cares about… I know what that's like. Just a few words…'

Triwathon shook his head.

'No, no, I am too ashamed, last night, I was… with… well, that is why I had no time, and I can't explain to Parvon, he'd be…' hurt. Angry. Disappointed. '…disapproving, and something Thindo said, as he was leaving, just because you can turn your face away from your fëa-mate and I don't know what he meant, Merenor, because he isn't mine and the only other it could be is Parvon but I haven't, I just don't understand…'

'Well, sometimes it can happen that one will find his fëa-mate and for whatever reason, will not allow himself to see it; the connection begins, the fëa reaches out, but cannot connect because the elf turns away.'

'But that wasn't me! That was him!'

Merenor lifted an eyebrow; now he didn't understand... 'In what way, Triwathon?'

'Parvon. He told me, he… he saw me, when I was so young and stupid, and that was it for him, but he didn't want it to be me… so it isn't my fault, is it? And only later, when I had grown up a little, when I had met my Balrog-slayer, only then did he look again…Oh, Parvon cannot be my fëa-mate, surely?'

'Well, from all I've seen from my work and from my own observations, it is usually a reciprocal…'

'But, he can't be, I couldn't, he… I am not his fëa-mate!'

'That's still no reason not to write to him is it? Anyway, I can't see Parvon being… annoyed with you, just because you found some companionship from an old, old friend. He'd forgive you, I'm sure; he really does love you.'

'But I do not want him to forgive me! I want… I want to not feel as if I need him to, and…'

Merenor shook his head. 'Are you sure you don't love him?'

'Merenor! I didn't say I didn't love him; I said I'm not his fëa-mate!'

'Well, I'm glad we cleared that up!' Merenor said. 'No need to be distressed… but is there no chance of a few words from you? After all, who's to tell him about you and Thindo? I don't think any of the convoy escort will have chance to speak to Parvon, and none of the passengers will know about it.'

'Parvon will know. He always knows when I… when things happen to me. That's why I feel so ashamed and…'

'You know what he's like, though; he won't mention it if you don't. Now, you've time to get something down on paper still, lad, and if you bring it to me I'll take it to Canadion. Now, I'll go and reassure Faerveren that he hasn't lost anything except his dignity, crawling around on the floor like that, dear boy that he is!'

And with a smile, Merenor rose and left Triwathon wondering where all these new and uncomfortable thoughts and sensations had come from, and to try to work out exactly what had changed for him that morning and what he was going to do with about it.