AN: Hi again. This is my longest chapter yet at 8,200 words. I tried a little something different. It's a day in the life of Bri and Sev with multiple POVs spread across this, and the next chapter. There are time stamps for what time of day each set of scenes occurs in and bits of fluff to combat the tension and conflict that is roiling at Firehouse 51. Thought you guys could use a mild reprieve while still building on what is happening in this story.

To my new favorites and follows: Ellea Cloud and curtis22 thank you and welcome!

To my faithful reviewers, Nishea and Ghostwriter: you two are the best and I am always so thrilled to see your reactions to what's going on with these characters. Much love and all the hugs.

To all of you who are reading this, I appreciate your dedication, as always. There are a million stories out there and you chose mine.

Obligatory disclaimer: These characters are the property of Dick Wolf, NBC et al. We all know what I would do if I could get my hands on them...

xo lily

7:00 AM

They were hiding from the sunlight streaming in through her bedroom windows. Dawson was swallowed in Kelly's arms and his face was buried in her hair and they were making the soft sounds of morning. The quiet disoriented groans and sleepy sighs of lazy movement. They were off shift for two days. Two very necessary days after Boden and Benny had their blowout and the subsequent quilt trip from Kelly's father. Dawson had gritted her teeth and snarled a little while Kelly had bruised her hip, holding her too tight. Now, she mumbled something into Kelly's chest and he laughed because her mouth tickled a little. He kissed her hair and murmured what as she stretched her long legs along his under the cotton sheets.

"I don't want to wake up"

"So don't"

He pulled her closer as her head pulled back to blink sleepy eyes open and closed, her face cautiously concerned. Much as it had remained for the tail end of their shift, trying to avoid his meddling father and Boden's distemper. He stared right back. She didn't respond which was itself an answer as she kissed his nose and Kelly snuggled deeper into her embrace. It was her bed. It was quiet and safe, an oasis of calm in their hectic Chicago lives. It was quickly becoming his favourite place to be as he peeled the sheet away from her shoulder to breathe out a sigh on her soft skin.

Benny didn't like this diner but Katie had picked it. She was wary of him. Cautious as any woman should be of a man who dropped in unannounced after several years gone and said hi I'm your father. He couldn't fathom the stories her mother had told her. It didn't matter. She was just what he had needed after divorcing his first wife and leaving Kelly at eight years old. Benny winced as he took a sip of his hot coffee, waiting to see what awkward young woman slid through the doors. Her mother had been less than thrilled to hear from him. Especially when he'd said he was just passing through. It was a phrase well-worn in his lexicon. He could admit that truth without prejudice. Lucky for him she wasn't vindictive enough to keep him away from his own daughter. He had a vague memory of blue eyes and brown hair. She'd been her own person, taking after neither of her parents to the utter consternation of neighbours and friends. He'd been tempted to ask for a paternity test but then, he'd never really supported either of them after he left. He'd never married Katie's mother and never been technically obligated. Which was bullshit but hey, he lived his life the way he wanted to back then and to hell with the consequences.

He checked his watch. Katie was late and Benny had nothing better to do than stew in his memories of the old days with Boden and Mills and the rest of the 51 crew before they died or quit or walked away injured. Boden was protective of his boy, of Kelly, in a way that made him angry and frustrated at the same time. He believed Boden hadn't said anything, but someone had and now Kelly distrusted his word on Peter Mills. Which was unfortunate because when he looked at the boy he saw the same soft, tender underbelly that had gotten Henry killed. He was certain of it. And now Kelly was playing against him, being stubborn and setting the kid up for Squad when he was green and untested as a candidate. It was the sort of bold move he expected from Kelly but misdirected. Misplaced as so many of his impulses were, Benny imagined. He'd never seen any of his kids grow up. Not really. He was trying with Beth and quite naturally, failing. But he wanted to check in. Needed to level set. Kelly's voicemail was still ringing in his ears past Boden's bold words about taking care of him better than Benny ever did and there was no response to that which made him look good without being an outright lie. He and Wallace Boden both had failed marriages but where he eventually left civil service for his cabin in the woods, Wallace stayed on and made himself indispensable to the firefighters he worked with. Kelly certainly thought so. Benny resisted the urge to sigh as he looked down at his watch again. Forty-five minutes late.

Just then his phone buzzed and he reached for it quickly. Concern for Katie colouring his actions. Benny scanned the text message before his mouth tightened. Imagine this only fifteen years and the door of my mother's house. She waited for you. I won't. The consequences of his actions were bitter poison for Benny to swallow. It seemed his charm was less effective on wayward daughters than the mothers who bore them. He ordered breakfast. Contemplated going back to Kenosha and Beth and making a real go of it. He wasn't getting any younger. He was, according to his son, trying to force him to make the same damn mistakes he did as a firefighter. Benny sipped his coffee as he thought about that. Like father like son was more truism than absent-minded saying when it came to Severide men. When he saw Kelly, he was struck by how much of nature's hold was proven over nurture. Kelly was a wild soul, like him. Fast cars, surly attitude, a penchant for picking up women and dropping them just as fast. He'd just never been trapped by a woman yet. Played house. Tried boring. That Dawson girl… Kelly had said nothing about their connection but it didn't matter. She wouldn't last long.

Bitter and heart-sore at Katie's dismissal weren't girls supposed to be easier than boys? Benny paid the check. Let the coffee work its way through him before putting away his wallet and pulling out his phone to call Kelly. He stood up to leave, anticipating a heated conversation, only to get his son's voicemail. Benny thought to return Kelly's favour.

"Listen kid. Kiss Boden's ass all you want. You're still my son. You're still me through to your bones Kelly. Your life is patterned out for you in my wake. Just admit it and get that chip off your shoulder. It must be so nice to never have an original thought or plan of your own, to use me…"

Benny went on as he pushed the diner doors open and searched for his car in the parking lot. Maybe it was time to get out of town for the moment. Kelly didn't need him. He was fine. Benny felt like he'd wasted a tank full of gas to be angry and defeated. He slammed the truck door closed. Finally hung up the phone and tossed it on his dashboard. He was tired of trying for anyone.

11:00 AM

The neighbourhood kids were playing in the water spraying from the fire hydrant and Dawson was amused beyond all reason. She was watching Kelly, who was watching the kids with a look of mixed consternation and humour. His job dictated that he react in one way to this turn of events but Dawson figured it was his day off and not his problem and he didn't have tools to fix the broken top valve with him and it was summer and hot for Chicago. They were standing on her front steps and he was just staring at the kids. Dawson laughed. She threaded her fingers through his and brought their joined hands to her lips for a kiss. Kelly turned to smile at her. He truly was breathtaking when he didn't put an act on. When he was as guileless as a kid, comfortable in his surroundings.

"Come on you. I need more than coffee to sustain me!"

"Not my fault you don't have groceries, Bri"

"Somebody wanted to come straight back after shift" she snarked with a quick squeeze of her hand in his.

"Someone didn't mind being eaten for breakfast"

Dawson lost control of her blush. Kelly smirked. Kissed her long and soft on the lips, and Dawson had the strange double feeling of getting lost in the kiss while being found in his arms. She held it close. Reveled in it as Kelly nibbled at her lips which always made her giggle. Which seemed to always make him smile just so. With both sides of his mouth and a crease in his nose. It was like his whole face got lifted up without him knowing it. She loved being the reason. She kissed him back, never content to be a passive participant to his passion and that swept up feeling, that blue flame at the center of what she labeled us. It greeted her with such fervency she wondered how she had ever walked away from it. This. What she and Kelly were. Dawson couldn't name it but she recognized it was rare. Should have realized it sooner when Kelly, the consummate playboy and commitment phobe dropped all pretense just to try at it. Dawson smiled wide thinking just how lucky she was.

"Kelllllly," she fake whined. "What. Did. I. Tell. You. About. Breakfast."

She punctuated each word with her head hitting his sternum. Kelly belly laughed and she was glad. She wanted to distract him from thinking about his dad and Boden. His phone had buzzed with a call earlier. She'd watched him scowl and ignore it. Heard the beep of a voicemail. Noticed how his shoulders rounded as he slumped inward, sitting at the edge of her bed. So she'd wrapped her arms around his waist from behind and whisper sung to him in Spanish until he'd turned around to toss her back into the sheets.

Dawson looked up at him now and saw only mischief. He wasn't worrying about a thing.

"Palace Grill?" he suggested warmly.

"Yay! Breakfast all day!" Dawson fist pumped and did a little dance.

She watched Kelly snort at her antics but didn't care. Dawson had no qualms about being herself around him. Plus, her goal was distraction. Kelly was not allowed to listen to that voicemail, or look at his phone or think about anything at all serious for the next few hours. They were off shift. The firehouse would be there in thirty-six hours and change. Plus she had her shift at Molly's in the evening. She was greedy to spend time with him away from all the prying eyes and awkwardness. Dawson no longer wavered in the face of such scrutiny but still found it exhausting. She was not going to defend her choices forever. She was going to live them. And she lived in choosing Kelly, her Sev, with all the aplomb she could muster. For all her brashness Dawson was a good girl. She suspected the same was true for Kelly. More than suspected. She knew his heart was a fragile earnest thing underneath his casual demeanour. His reaction to Heather and desire to see Andy's sons confirmed it. It made her protective instincts burn fiercely. Kelly hadn't argued. He let her say her piece and seethe at Heather to the point of almost slapping her before stepping in. He had wanted someone in his corner. Someone to protect him even if he didn't really know how to ask and she was more than ready to do so and more.

Kelly kissed her hand. Held it, while he wrapped his other arm around her waist and led her to his car.

"Promenade after?"

Dawson glanced up at him but Kelly was looking forward, searching for his car as though he hadn't just asked her a question. Trying to play it cool. She smiled. Her boyfriend, he was her boyfriend right?, wanted to hold hands and take a walk with her. Dawson squeezed his hand reflexively.

"Yeah sure" Her tone was nonchalant but inside she was happy. Dawson knew she and Kelly were volatile people sometimes. That getting him to talk sometimes could be like pulling teeth. That he would always prefer to keep things close to the vest. The instinct to self-protect was strong in him and she couldn't fault that with Benny as a father and his mother dead. They haven't even touched that subject yet.

She leaned into him and breathed deeply. He was walking without any issues, not even a flinch of pain, capable of accommodating her shorter stride as they crossed the street and he went to open her door like a gentleman. It was the small things that killed her with him. She imagined his mother must have taught him the manners he so rarely used. It wasn't a production. He didn't make a big deal out of it. Kelly just slid his hand from her waist to the small of her back and guided her into her seat like a princess and bounded around to his side with a grin. His smile was infectious. Dawson ignored the niggling worry at the back of her head about Casey. How it bothered Kelly that they might never make up but not enough to give her up. It was selfish but so was she when it came to him. Dawson hadn't figured out what to do about his problem with Casey. Wasn't sure if there was a solution at all. She cared for both of them and hoped it wouldn't come down to something as absurd as choosing sides. Dawson listened to Kelly open the throttle and rear down the road, flying by the kids who squealed and shrieked around the fire hydrant. Chicago only had two seasons really. Winter and construction. Someone would come by to fix it eventually.

Construction was what had Casey doing a build-out with a couple of other guys, all three of them sweating in the midday heat, bottles of water at the ready. Casey was irritated and hot, the sweat a nuisance soaking his white tee shirt and slipping into his eyes. He also had the awkward beginnings of a sunburned neck, if he wasn't careful. Usually, this amused him: the thought of a firefighter being burned by anything other than fire.

He wasn't sure if this was funny really but any bit of levity helped with the monotony of nail and hammer and saw. He could feel the grit of sawdust and dirt all along his forearms. The morning had felt long enough as it was without his sister calling to say mom had missed a check-in with her parole officer and she wasn't covering for her again. She refused to field these sort of inquiries if mom was going to keep being so inconsiderate. And his sister was saying all this to him, the man who had their mother living in his home for several weeks with her mood swings and poor impulse control. Everything just sucked at the moment and pounding a nail into a piece of plywood should have helped but didn't. All he had was a headache.

The situation with Gabi was just plain galling. He still didn't know how long it'd been going on. Shay, as much as she also disapproved, wouldn't give him that information during last shift's discussion. Everything about the encounter annoyed him. Made the whole situation feel worse than he hoped it was. She'd asked him if he trusted Gabi and he wanted to say yes but in the wake of Voight, their arguments and distance, the secret relationship with Severide and everything else, it was really hard to know anymore. He wanted to trust her. Knew she'd drop everything to help him with something if he asked. She had done so in the past without pause. But everything over the last several months had been false starts. His and hers and he was hurt, shocked, furious at what she had done in the midst of their estrangement.

He blamed Kelly. One hundred percent. Blamed it on his charm and his insatiable knack for being just bad boy enough to keep women intrigued. It shouldn't have worked on Gabi. He was still trying to work out when this could have possibly looked like a good idea to her. He wasn't saying Kelly was a bad guy. In a firefight, he was a solid backup, a dependable leader but shit on calling out orders and commands when you really needed it which was how Andy ended up in a backdraft, his death seared into Casey's retinas until the failing of all memory. Where in the last few months had he failed so badly that Gabi sought him out? Casey bit back a curse as he fumbled a hammer onto his thumb accidentally.

He couldn't admit this to himself. Not yet. But he'd been emotionally cheating on Hallie with Gabi for a long while before she fled to Africa. Seeking Gabi out. Allowing her to take up space in his head and his heart that he should have given to Hallie. He was cautious by nature. Casey didn't like to hurt people and he stayed with Hallie, loved her and was loyal in all the right and obvious ways while wanting something different. It was okay to want something different right? No harm in feeling desire if you didn't act on it. Right? So he'd waited. Put Gabi on hold out of respect while still wanting what he could have of her. Pissed off as Casey was about the current situation, if he was thinking rationally he would see how he'd gotten it wrong. You couldn't play it both ways and expect to get what you really wanted. Someone was always dissatisfied. One person always got hurt into the bargain. He had thoughtlessly taken for granted that if Gabi was waiting for him, she would always do so. No one ever expects the game to change midstream. Why should it? What could possibly alter the path they'd both silently wanted but never addressed out loud until he awkwardly gave her the brushoff at that holiday party.

He wished he could go back in time and take it back. Casey wanted so badly to kiss her that night but so much was going on and going through his head and she was beautiful and forthright, asking him out instead of waiting and he froze. Panicked maybe. He didn't really overthink it then but now, all he could think about was another what if situation where he'd kissed her. Taken her home that night. Shown her what she meant to him and how much. Casey wasn't good with words. He choked up. Intense emotion made it worse and he truly cared about Gabi. Worried about the aftermath where Kelly went on his merry way and she had to work alongside a Grade A jerk. What the hell was she even thinking?!

On impulse. He reached out. Fired off a text asking to talk sometime before next shift. He really needed to understand. She thought Kelly wasn't a mistake. This, despite the inevitable fallout when they broke up and all the men wanted to maim him for her. Casey took a sip of water. Called out lunch! Stared at his phone waiting for her response. He wanted to trust her again. It had never been an issue before Voight. He knew she was loyal. That she would do anything for her family. He just wished she had talked to him before going to Voight. He wished she had trusted him enough to be upfront and tell him her plan in case things went wrong. Hindsight was twenty twenty and all that but she didn't seem to regret the choice to speak to that scumbag. She definitely didn't regret Kelly for some reason.

Casey wiggled his thumb experimentally. It wasn't broken. It'd been fifteen minutes without a response from her. He couldn't keep staring at his phone. Waiting.

3:00 PM

Kelly peered at Bri while she licked at the chocolate ice cream melting between her fingers. She ate like it was both the last thing she'd ever eat and the one thing she tried to savour all at once. And oh dear god the sounds. They were sitting on a bench in Millennium Park after walking the promenade. It was midweek, so most of the people walking about were either tourists or scurrying to work. One summer kids program was wreaking havoc to his immediate right but Kelly only had eyes for Bri, as she sighed and slurped eagerly at her treat. He told her she should have gotten it in a bowl. But did Bri listen? Nope! Not that he minded. He totally understood the appeal of a good waffle cone, slightly soft and filled with melty ice cream goodness. But at the rate she was going…

"Need a little help there?"

Dark brown eyes looked up, tongue peeking out. Absolutely absurd. Totally adorable. She slanted her eyes at him in what he could only assume was a glare. It held no power. Kelly reached over and licked along her cone, the rasp of his two day stubble grazing her wrist as he took a bite. He looked her straight in the eyes while he did it. She could have pulled away but didn't. He took another small bite. Quirked his lips to the side as the cold dessert slid down his throat. It was good. He told her so as he produced two paper napkins from his jeans pocket and proceeded to wipe halfheartedly at her messy fingers. Bri just kept on looking at him. He couldn't describe it. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen it before. She looked like she was trying to hide something but could only half contain it. Like she was trying really hard not to stare at something in his teeth and give herself away. Bri didn't have a poker face. Slowly she went back to work on her cone as he watched. Nibbling away at the waffle as she licked the ice cream sideways round and round in a circle. She wouldn't look at him. It didn't worry Kelly because a slow creeping blush was building up the long column of her neck into her cheeks. It was faint. He'd barely noticed it when they first started sleeping together. But Bri's blush was precious to him. It was so hard to see, and rarely occurred to begin with, but he drew it from her consistently and without really thinking about it. He wanted to ask what he'd done this time. Sometimes she blushed when she was embarrassed, sometimes angry. He could usually tell when her cheeks got hot even when he didn't see the pink. She usually breathed in and out slowly to calm herself down. Pulled her hair off her neck because it became heavy and troublesome. He wondered how long she'd wait to cut it. He'd never expressly said she shouldn't. He liked it long but it was also impractical and Bri was usually, a very practical person. It was swinging down her back at the moment, tousled and slightly curly because she was more hungry than vain when they left for the diner.

He noticed her. Constantly. And they didn't have to talk all the time. She was content to eat her waffle cone down to the nub, blushing, while he watched, the chatter of the city surrounding them. They'd known each other for a long time before getting to this part so nothing felt really awkward. He couldn't tell her everything. She wasn't Shay. Except, come to think of it. They'd become their own thing outside of Shay and he relied on her more to discuss the shit happening with his dad and the firehouse than anyone else. Partially because they were the drama. Which was stupid and nobody's business but theirs. They were more than professional at work, on the job. You know, aside from that moment by his car last shift. Which he'd really needed to hear it turned out. She wasn't giving him up. She had used the word never.

It was hard to believe in promises. To believe in people sticking around. He acknowledged he had a knee jerk reaction to the idea of anyone saying they would just be there. He was trying to be better about a lot of things and he could see how Bri was doing the same. Sometimes it felt strange to realize that one of the people who you'd been around constantly for years was still someone you didn't know completely. He understood the deep determination in Bri. How her stubbornness was both foolhardy and the building block of her sanity. It was what kept her going on bad calls through horrific scenes. But these unexplored soft parts, her uncertainty and anxiety about what people thought. Kelly thought it was frustrating to see someone so smart and wonderful make herself small. She did it often with her self-deprecating jokes and the way compliments slid off her back uselessly. Which reminded him.

"You know you're beautiful right?"

Bri's face was a perfect mask of shock, ice cream dripping onto the ground as she stared at him, chuckled a little nervously and shook her head.

"I think you're sugar high Sev. I'm covered in ice cream, my hair is tangled and-"

"Oh my god woman. Take the compliment!"

He watched her cock her head at an angle to really look at him. Bri seemed genuinely confused. Like it made no sense for him to be saying it despite all that had gone before between them. He knew he didn't say it often and never enough. But he didn't want it to feel like a line. Like something he would say to get a woman into bed. How did he tell this particular woman? He was struggling to explain even to himself, what made her so different. He could see the wheels spinning in her head, probably a long list and images of his conquests. Kelly groaned. Took the messy remnants of her cone and ate it, his eyes fixed on hers as he tried to think this through. She let him eat the cone without protest. She didn't respond or give him more rope to hang himself and he knew she knew he was a sucker for the dimples above her butt, for her nose but that wasn't nearly enough.

He took her messy hands in his now equally sticky hands and grinned.

"I told you I sucked at this"

She snort laughed in agreement and he had to smile. Bri wasn't fazed by his brashness. She seemed to like his rough corners more than his charm. He lifted each sticky hand to his lips for a kiss and her laugh grew louder, drew stares and looks but Bri didn't notice. Wasn't worried about anyone else in the moment. He held her captive and was glad.

"I don't think you realize how absolutely gorgeous you are. You were…" he paused to rifle through all their memories together and settled on the one that started it all. "I thought you were beautiful, tequila fighting drunk and defending your cooking skills. But then the next morning, you were just there, sitting at your table and beaming and your hair was bobbing and I just…"

Kelly kissed her knuckles. Gave Bri the tiniest nod of amusement at their chocolate stained hands and, "why do you think i stayed that morning Bri? You sucked me in. You. There you were, long legs and soft eyes and this perfect perfect smile because I loved your food even though you were trying to be chill and it was over. I just didn't know it yet."

He didn't know how else to put it. Bri was beautiful to him. He figured he'd been cheesy enough when she fake cuffed him on the shoulder with her shoulder. Kelly realized she was just as uncomfortable with this as he was struggling to say it. But she didn't let go of his fingers. She leaned her head into the crook of his neck, mumbled, thank you Kelly like suddenly she was shy and maybe in this, she was. He was still getting to know her beyond the bedroom. They were still going to make mistakes and learn from each other. He cherished the chance she'd given them despite all the objections from Shay. When she lifted her head, he kissed her with all he had and prayed she understood what he meant by all of it.

It was difficult to stop worrying but Shay tried. Legs crossed in lotus position. Hands upturned on her knees. Eyes closed. Angie was talking soft and low in the background. The sound of water trickling over rocks echoed in her loft. Shay thought it was annoying. The drip like a leaky faucet or worse, rain falling through a hole in her roof. She imagined all manner of scenarios. Her nose twitched. She felt her heart beating wildly in its cage.

"You're not paying attention"

"I am!" Shay insisted but of course she was lying.

Anxiety had a hold of her. Last shift had been awful in a myriad of small but implosive ways. The crew was falling apart. Her second family and it was all Kel's fault and she was trying not to resent him. She was trying not to worry but every time she thought of Casey's face, how he didn't trust Dawson anymore because she was dating Kel… She realized she could never tell Dawson. It was hurtful in a way that wasn't productive. A choice she made was somehow just as reprehensible as bargaining with Voight.

Or maybe Kel compounded with Voight was Casey's issue with Dawson? It was hard to know. No one was saying anything real. It was all echoes and silence. Casey's jaw grinding in its socket while she stared. Kel blinking off into the distance before blinking back at her, wary as ever since their disagreement about Dawson. What a cruel way for all their friendships to end. With love as the precipitating incident. As the fault line on which all else fell. It didn't bear the scrutiny of her anxiety. It didn't matter quite that much. And yet it did. Kelly and Dawson were a combustible match. They were only at the beginnings of their feelings right now. They didn't know they were in love. Well, Kelly didn't, she wagered. Dawson, with her soft heart and her propensity for long crushes, had probably talked herself out of and into it a dozen times without telling her. Shay sighed deeply. Her friends weren't talking to her like they used to. She'd put them on the defense and she wasn't certain how to navigate her very reasonable panic about their relationship with the bone deep reality that she would always be there for either of them. No matter what. Except-

"You can't control what happens Leslie. And what happens won't be your fault"

Leave it to an artist to make things so simple as to entirely miss the point. Shay smiled at her girlfriend as she came to kneel on the floor beside her. She knew it wouldn't be her fault. She knew she couldn't control the outcome but damn if she didn't want to take care of her loved ones the best way she knew how. Angie kissed her sweetly on the lips, flashed impossibly green eyes at her and continued.

"All you can really do is choose who to be there for. You love these people. You care about them and have known them all a long time. But you cannot be everything to everyone Leslie Shay. Your job does not need to be your entire life and way you interact with people".

Sometimes Shay forgot that Angie was a psych minor in college, with a psychiatrist for a mother. She liked to joke about being remarkably well-adjusted for a lifetime under a microscope. Shay smiled ruefully at the brunette. Angie was wiser than she appeared at first glance. And maybe the most intense sex she'd had in a long time…

"You're saying I should stop caring about someone?"

"No. I'm saying prioritize. You're trying to cover all the bases and make sure the sky doesn't fall but really, what is the worst thing that could happen here?"

Shay wasn't sure how to articulate that a change in the flow of the firehouse felt like a very bad thing. That in a job where you depended on those around you to keep you safe and sane in treacherous situations, such animosity meant someone would either leave or get transferred because Boden needed a disciplined team. Shay didn't want anyone to leave. Didn't want friendships that she had watched play out with glee and wisecracks, to fall apart because of death and accusation. She was surrounded by good caring people. Whenever a substitute came in to fill the shoes of her family, like Campbell did for Kelly, it was wrong. It just felt wrong and she couldn't stomach such changes being permanent.

"They're family. What the fuck wouldn't you do for family?" she asked finally, incapable of saying out loud her worst nightmare of an outcome in this situation: that Kelly got transferred for being the upstart rebellious lieutenant at fault for everything. Or that the joy and fun of 51 was permanently replaced by the bitterness of their two lieutenants constant squabbling.

"Kelly is family." Angie said quietly. Calling Shay out. Recognizing, like she had early on, how very important the man was to her. "Focus on Kelly. You've told me so much about him and I know it hurts you that he's pulling away. Stop trying to fix the situation. He doesn't want that."

Even if it's the smart play? Shay wondered. She was resigned to the fact that Kelly and Dawson were together. That until they got their heads outta their asses, they would fumble and continue to be the catalyst for Casey's ire in ways she didn't think possible. And underneath her anxiety, below her nitpicking at Kelly and constant glances at Dawson she was so happy for them it was insane. Except she thought they were both insane for even attempting it. She'd told Dawson the worst of Kelly's sexcapades. Kelly had heard about the occasional near physical altercations that Dawson had with belligerent bystanders when taking care of a patient. Never mind that they'd both known each other longer than she had. It felt bizarre to think this was a possibility all along…

"Hey, babe you wanna go to the bar?"

Shay definitely wanted a drink.

7:00 PM

Molly's was loud. A Wednesday night baseball game and Dawson was washing glasses as quickly as they were being used. Hermann was reveling in it. He was so excited when they had great nights. When the bar seemed a worthy enterprise after all the money they'd sunk into it. He'd already called in Otis and Zoya because it was that busy. And Hermann was still vaguely protective of her after that one incident with a frat boy. They kept a baseball bat behind the bar now. Shay had offered her very illegal while on shift taser. The point was: they needed all hands. She needed to take a look at the books to make sure they were floating as high as she thought once the night was over. It might be wise to install better cameras and a security system with all the alcohol they kept on the premises…

"D"

Her smile was automatic and wide. It'd been the perfect day. Just what she needed and Kelly as well. He had been sweet and present in spite of his father's sudden visit. She'd basically ignored her phone until she couldn't. Casey had texted and she'd told him she was working tonight but maybe they could meet tomorrow? She wanted to talk to Kelly about it before she did anything. She was learning. Slowly. They were their own team. Had to be when everyone disapproved. Dawson wasn't going to do what she did with Mills or Casey again.

"What do you need Kelly?"

He gave her the look that said all of his most inappropriate responses but merely raised his glass for another beer. She took his glass while giving him a kiss on his cheek. Her lipstick was a perfect red pout on his cheekbone. You know, to mark her territory. Capp was sitting with him. Which was good since she couldn't pay too much attention to him when the bar was so busy. Dawson could barely hear herself think let alone all the drink orders.

"He's gonna be here all night isn't he?" Hermann yelled over the noise.

"Who? Kelly?" she responded as she poured his beer with a smile. "Yeah probably."

"Never seen him like this. So for what it's worth. I'm happy for you. But you two are positively nauseating."

She threw a towel at him before turning back to the bartop with a grin on her face. They didn't do cutesy. Dawson was certain about that. Kelly especially had a reputation to maintain. She gave Kelly his beer and chatted with another sometimes regular who was frowning at the television, and Dawson put out barbecue chips and popcorn, stealing a handful for herself because they hadn't stopped for dinner and for a minute her whole world stopped. Life was good. She never believed in perfect. People were people. But she'd had a great day. Her guy thought she was beautiful and she felt beautiful even in her tee shirt and jeans at the moment. Tonight, again, she wouldn't buy groceries because it'd be too late when she left and they'd probably find a diner halfway between her place and his to eat before maybe going their separate ways to spend a day apart before another shift at the firehouse. They weren't joined at the hip. That would be weird and annoying and they already saw each other so much because of work that sometimes they'd go a week without really seeing each other.

She didn't want to be cloying. Was afraid of her intensity being too much. Sometimes it felt like all the unspent, unrequited yearning for Casey was bound up in her fierce bond with Kelly. All blue flame. Just the deep center of a fire without the bright flickering danger. Like all the passion and feeling she could contain was now cupped in the space between them. Between his earnest fervent declarations and her breathless desire for all he could give and more. Dawson felt the tightening of everything in her body like a waterfall. The sex definitely didn't hurt but she felt more for him than that. She flicked her eyes briefly over to his stool. He was staring at her. While talking to Capp. She couldn't help that she got a kick out of that.

"Dawson!" she snatched her eyes back from Kelly to find Shay and Angie sitting tipsy and smiling in front of her.

"Barhopping without me Shay? I see how it is." she pretended to wipe a tear from her eye while making their usuals. Gin and tonic for Angie. Tequila with lime for Shay. On impulse she took down a shot glass for herself and poured some out. She looked Shay in the eye. The blonde's smile widened as they all clinked glasses and she gulped her Cuervo in one go with a smack of the glass on wood.

"Dawson!"

"Hermann!" she replied in a sing-song voice over the din. He was going to say something about drinking their profits. He was going to play dad. But Shay slapped her money on the bar with her tongue sticking out and then they were all laughing. Hermann with a towel over one shoulder like an old school barkeep, Dawson in a server's apron. She wasn't even mad that Otis and Zoya were no shows. Apparently the game was turning, the Cubs were coming back from a several run deficit. She didn't pretend to know sports that well. She was just happy the mood was improving, all around her. Angie was being sweet with Shay, asking for water and sliding popcorn in front of the smaller woman. She wondered if Angie had brought them here so that Shay would calm down with the drinking. If being around her work friends was supposed to keep Shay in line. Because if Angie thought that, she was in the exact wrong bar and when Shay tapped the lip of her shot glass for more, Dawson gave the woman what she was looking for. But also poured two highballs full of cold water and Angie's smile of thanks was enough to make her squeeze the woman's hand in response. She'd seen Shay on a bender before. She wouldn't let Angie take care of her alone. Not after… wait, how long had they been dating now? Three months. They'd met the night Shay didn't come home and she broke it off with Kelly, again, on his couch and then his couch… She briefly raised her eyes to look at him. Looked at the bartop. Looked at the far table near the door. Felt her thighs begin to slide out from under her.

Dawson looked at Hermann.

"I need a minute. Can you cover the bar til i get back?"

"Yeah, I'll call Otis again and tell him we're buying his stake in the bar. That should get him here faster,"

She snorted a laugh and took off her apron. Told Shay and Angie she'd be back in a few before running past the bartop without a glance at anyone, her face flushing. Dawson walked into the back office and sat at the desk with her head in her hands, breathing. Sometimes the lust was straight up infuriating. Her thighs felt weak. She was already halfway there in her head with the memories.

"Bri" she knew that voice. She knew that tone. Everything in her lower body was on a hair trigger.

"Oh god Sev. We can't. We really fucking can't. It's a full bar. Hermann needs backup. I just needed a minute."

"So? Let me give you a minute. Sit on the desk baby."

Against all common sense, Dawson looked up. Kelly was rocking a semi in his jeans and a moan slipped out of her. He was leaning against the closed and locked office door.

"You think Hermann didn't notice you leave?"

"You think Hermann cares? Get on the desk Bri. Unbutton your jeans. You get exactly one minute."

Dawson paused for all of ten seconds before she walked around the desk and sat down on it across from him. She unbuttoned her jeans, curious where he was going with this as she flicked her hair over her shoulder and waited. Dawson watched his nostrils flare with his arms crossed on his chest.

"That. That right there is the sexiest thing you could ever do"

"You just like my hair long" she retorted with a rasp in her voice. Her mouth felt dry. He was still leaning against the door and staring at her. Kelly gave her a look that had her unzipping her jeans but he still wasn't moving towards her.

"What are you waiting for?" he whispered. "I wanna watch"

Oh. fuuuuck.

"Kelly…"

"Bri. I find it very very hard to keep my hands off you. But I will. I'm going to. Because Hermann's out there and he needs backup and we are being very bad friends and I don't care. You're going to listen to me say every single thing I want to do to you while you touch yourself on that desk. You're going to look right at me while you do it. No hiding. You're going to see exactly what you do to me and you are going to have to be very very quiet"

Yeah, those were her legs shaking. Dawson slipped her fingers between the elastic of her panties and her skin and trailed them down to her core. She moved her fingers in a circle on her clit and stifled a groan. She was halfway there before he was even in the room but now...

"Like this?" her voice was high and tight. She watched Kelly adjust himself in his jeans and choked off the sound that wanted to leave her mouth.

"Jesus woman. Watching you like this is something I never thought I'd see. I don't think I even let myself imagine it"

"Liar"

She loved the laugh he gave at that as he wiped his thumb across his lower lip, eyes glued to her fingers hidden from his view. "So aren't you going to tell me?" she taunted. On one level, this was embarrassing. The light fixture was a flickering fluorescent and baseline unflattering. These were not her sexy panties, just soft pink cotton and comfort grade elastic. Just comfortable worn clothes for a long night of standing behind the bar. She was wearing her ratty red Converse, one shoelace untied at the ankle.

"I want to bend you over that desk and tie you down. I want to lay you out on top of it and suck on your clit til your lungs give out..." Kelly murmured and Dawson closed her eyes, "No no no Bri. Eyes open. On me. Right now."

She felt him move closer and her eyes opened slowly. He was palming himself through his jeans and she whimpered. He was halfway between her and the office door, eyes heavy lidded, that little gap between his front teeth killing her. His breathing as fast and uneven as hers she couldn't decide between looking at his face or his hand when he decided for her by taking two steps closer til she was surrounded by the scent of him. Til he stood just outside of the vee of her thighs, looking down at her fingers and she only wanted him closer still.

"You only get a minute Bri."

She was dating a gorgeous asshole.

Fifteen minutes later, she was walking back into the bar, Kelly pressed up against her back, kissing her hair as they checked out the room. Otis and Zoya were finally serving. Hermann gave her a smirk she ignored. Kelly had gotten no relief at all and his arms were around her waist shuffling her forward as she giggled.

"You're coming to my place tonight" he murmured.

"I guess you really like me quiet huh?"

He tugged her earlobe with his teeth for that and she knocked him backwards with her hips and the groan she won from Kelly was worth almost any mocking from Hermann. She strolled behind the bar and tugged on her apron while Kelly returned to his stool and she heard him get ribbed by Capp. Dawson looked over at Hermann who was drying glasses now that he had a break.

"Disgusting. Both of you" but Hermann was smiling and Dawson just shrugged. Her body was buzzing and light. She knew she was flushed because Kelly had told her and she made quick work of a braid down the left side of her head to make her look more put together than she actually felt.

"I didn't tell him to follow me Hermann"

Hermann continue to talk smack while Shay was shaking her head and Angie just smiled like she knew how it was. Dawson didn't care. They could all think what they liked. She and Kelly both knew what had actually happened. Kelly was certainly talented. She poured Angie another gin and tonic. It sounded like the Cubs were up a run but the game wasn't what she wanted to focus on just now. Dawson poured out three tequila shots. She gave one to Shay. Handed the second to Hermann and held hers high to toast.

"To getting everything we want!" She was buzzing and flushed and hungry for more. Also just hungry but she took her second tequila shot of the night with glee and looked right at Kelly when she was done. He was shaking his head no more Cuervo and she stuck out her tongue with a grin. He grinned right back and leaned in to tell Capp something she probably didn't want to know but should.

"Gabi"

She turned her head to see Casey looking back and forth between Kelly and her with veiled actual disgust.

"I need a Bud Light and a minute of your time when you can."

Dawson began to worry she should have talked to Kelly sooner rather than later.

Thanks again for reading!