AN:

Hi Hi. Thank you to all of you who read and reviewed the last chapter! Your intense appreciation makes it all worth it!

Please note: There is an extended sex scene in this chapter. Someone asked why so much sex? Sev is why. And not just because he is pretty. Sev has this established mode of being easy sex and that translates into his relationship with Bri. He thinks it's all he has to offer and communicates how he feels that way. It's going to continue being a feature of this story that Sev and Bri are wild and impulsive in their reactions to each other. I'll always preface a sex scene with a warning in the author's note. If you want this chapter without the sex I can write out an edited version!

Disclaimer: These characters are the property of Dick Wolf, NBC et al.

Dawson slammed the door to Kelly's apartment open. Shay was running up behind her from the elevator telling her to calm down but Dawson was glaring at her wayward boyfriend. Seething actually, as she stormed into the kitchen. It was the exact opposite of the last time Kelly had seen Dawson as he glanced up from a bowl of cereal, his mouth full around the what that spilled from his lips with the milk. Dawson was too livid to think about his manners.

"You told Boden you wanted a transfer?!"

It was Monday. She and Shay had gone into the firehouse to double check their schedule and find out how the relief paramedics had been while they were out of town. Boden had pulled them into his office with a blind side that had Dawson shaking she was so mad. She watched Kelly scowl as he put the bowl down on the counter.

"It was a suggestion. Not a request. I specifically said I did not want to transfer but-"

"But you said the word transfer!"

She was pissed and probably being irrational because she was terrified that this was Kelly's way of breaking up. The slow fade that was less dramatic and cold but still made you feel sick to your stomach like she was right then after way too much tequila in 48 hours.

"Dawson…"

"Were you even going to talk to me about this?"

She kept cutting in because her thoughts were flying wild and Kelly was walking around the counter and coming towards her and she'd missed him all weekend like an idiot. Her body aching for him in all those painfully predictable ways when you love and want someone in the first flush of all your feelings. She was still mad at him and still everything tightened with the sheer breadth of his presence, shirtless in his kitchen and they'd never christened his counters and…

"Do you two know how to fight without yelling because my head literally can't take this right now"

Dawson turned back to Shay, who'd dropped her bag by the front door. Her sunglasses were perched precariously on her nose and she looked so resigned to the blowup that was all Dawson's fights with Kelly she could have sat there and sipped tea til it was over. Dawson startled when Kelly's hand touched her shoulder and she turned away from Shay to his bright eyes looking annoyed at her.

Well, join the club Severide. They were still off, their argument at the bar still mostly unresolved and she hadn't spoken with him about Casey's casual dismissal of their friendship and he'd been deciding things without her like they maybe weren't even a couple and she didn't warrant the consideration and all of it hurt, still. She'd cried then spent the last two days drinking, tanning and missing his stupid face only to come back and hear that he wanted to leave Firehouse 51. This suggested he wanted to leave her and she glared up at him while absentmindedly playing with the chain around his neck like she wanted to choke him. Because she sort of did in that moment. She clutched it tight and brought his face down to hers. Kelly winced as it cut into the bruises. Dawson immediately let go.

"Why?"

"Because Shay was right."

This remark got a cackle from the woman in question, who shuffled over to the couch and collapsed with a cushion over her head muttering damn straight! while Kelly pulled Dawson by her hands to sit on one of the barstools at the countertop.

"There's too much drama at the firehouse. Those guys are family and I don't like being the reason everyone is uncomfortable. We need to be able to work together and Casey and I can't"

"So you just leave?" Dawson poked back. "Leave me without asking what I think about this?"

"It was just a suggestion. I was trying to put the firehouse first" Kelly said calmly.

"Fuck that! You told me it was nobody's damn business what we did. That what we had was ours and everyone would just have to deal with it"

She remembered every word of that conversation. How ridiculously vehement he was in defense of their relationship. How much he clearly wanted to pursue it and how as consenting adults, they needed no one's permission to do so, least of all their coworkers. It had struck her deeply and she was going to stop calling them a situation now. This was a relationship. Everything else was a fucked up situation. Jesus Christ if she spent more than five seconds contemplating Casey…

"But they're not dealing with it Dawson! Not even you sometimes."

"Hey! That's not fair-"

"And I'm not leaving you but did you think Casey was going to be this messed up about it?"

Dawson was relieved. And also sad. The answer to his question was no, obviously. Casey had taken her relationship with Mills fairly well. It should have been as simple with Kelly and it sucked that they couldn't all coexist at the moment.

"No, but why didn't you tell me you were thinking about this?"

"Because I wasn't. Boden and I were talking… he mentioned my mom and it just came out of my mouth. It was never a conscious thing. The fire happened and we were running to that and you left right after shift. That's it. That's all that happened."

He was playing with the fingers of her left hand and she loved the feel of his calluses against her skin. Dawson felt some of her anger dissipate but she was still terrified because for all that he said he wasn't leaving her, for all their last bout of possession edged sex and her crying… something had to give and yet:

"You don't get to go where I can't follow either. Asshole" she muttered and looked up to find Kelly nodding okay because he got it. He wasn't stupid. If he could show up at her doorstep yelling at her about running into collapsing buildings, then she was allowed to yell when he decided to change his work schedule. A schedule that gave them more time together than most other couples got without ever getting sick of each other. Which honestly, was the true miracle given their hot tempers.

"Alright. Are we done being mad at each other for a minute? Can I kiss you now?"

Yet again they had not decided anything. Again, they fought without any real resolution but Dawson nodded and fell into his embrace gladly. Kelly centered her on his lap, her legs on either side of his waist as he pulled her into a searing kiss. He performed a slow grind, holding her over the sweatpants clad erection she hadn't noticed and her nails clutched his shoulders and she was careful with his neck because of the bruises and he pulled the long plait of her hair loose to tumble over his hands like watershed silk.

Oh. Oh Oh. She had missed him and he didn't seem to care that Shay was mere feet away from them, softly snoring so she didn't either. She pulled the waistband of his sweatpants down and there he was and Dawson let out a soft groan and he was asking if she knew how to be absolutely silent. If she could come without a sound and she glared up at him because they worked at the same firehouse and besides we could just take it upstairs asshole. He chuckled and Dawson felt her heart flip over. Things weren't so bad if she could make him laugh. She hid a smile while he cursed her clothes, shoving her jeans to her knees, pulling her tee shirt up impatiently. Tugging her breasts out of her bra. And then, just like that, she was ranged out over the counter. Cold granite pulling her nipples tight, bent in half as he kissed down her spine, then his hands holding hers, arms stretched out beyond her head as he eased forward and in. Dawson submitted happily and with a barely audible sigh.

"Baby, I really really missed you" Kelly whispered.

Dawson closed her eyes. Baby. He was calling her baby again and she remembered when she used to hate it. When she thought he was saying it just to say it. A throwaway sweet nothing to a casual lover. She didn't care anymore. He was saying he missed her. He was sucking the skin behind her ear hard enough to bruise as he pistoned slow but insistent inside her. He was all relentless heat as she shivered on the cold kitchen counter. She loved him and he'd missed her. And oh how that feeling was mutual. She bit her tongue so it wouldn't slip out. So she could have this one secret, her heart pounding in her ears while he whispered nonsense to her. He seemed so loud, so incredibly close and not close enough but she didn't have any thing left in her to worry about Shay. She didn't have the energy to push back when his one hand slipped between her and the counter to cushion the impact while flicking her clit. How is it this intense? Dawson held Kelly to her neck with her one free hand, the other still enclosed in his grip. She squeezed and he squeezed back.

"I miss- I missed you too" she stuttered. Then Kelly tightened, she could feel it, ranged out under him, all his muscles tensed and the pace quickened and she brought their joined hands to her mouth just in case. Kissed his palm before fitting it over her lips and Kelly bowed his head to the seam where her shoulder met her neck and held on with lips and tongue. His groan and full body shudder the switch Dawson needed to come, her body flooded with pulsing ropes of white she could feel hitting her cervix with the throb of his cock. She hissed against his palm. Kelly kept playing with her clit through what she hoped were aftershocks but no, they were not. Her body spilled out of control, tremors rocking her from head to toe while Kelly, slower now, thrust in and out. Held her softly as her feet slid out from under her. IloveIloveIloveyou. It was all she thought. It was all she was capable of. The change was her. It was more intense because she'd finally let everything else go. Let him carry her to where they both wanted to go with absolute faith and all her trust. Dawson felt the orgasm swallow her whole and blow her apart, all her limbs working in concert against her...

Dawson opened her eyes to their hands entwined next to her head on the kitchen counter. Her feet weren't touching the floor. Kelly was breathing like a racehorse against her sweaty neck, nuzzling her in that way of his she adored. She raked her free hand through his hair and sighed. He was still snug inside her, enjoying the slight trembling of her actual aftershocks. She shivered when she felt his come slipping down her thigh.

"Are you back?"

"Mmmm. Uh huh" It was all she could manage. Kelly's laugh puffed out on her neck. He kissed it gently.

"Okay. Come on baby. I know how you hate this next part."

Dawson mewled quietly as Kelly left her body. Yes she was sore but also hollow now. She went to hold her hand over his come spilling out of her. Its warmth the only reminder and she wanted to keep it. Dawson quivered at the thought. She was officially certifiable but still her hand reached down. Kelly turned her around slowly and sat her up on the counter. He groaned when he saw what she was doing but didn't stop her. Instead, he moved to the fridge, grabbed the orange juice while she watched and poured her a glass. She didn't take it. Kelly looked at her and she shivered while holding his stare and his come inside her body just a little bit longer. He took a sip then moved forward to hold the glass to her lips and make her drink.

"You passed out Bri. Drink it" Kelly commanded.

So she did. So much of what she loved about him was how he showed tenderness. It was beautiful and gruff. Kelly didn't joke when he cared but it made him uncomfortable. She understood this as she gazed into his eyes over the juice glass, slowly swallowing. A different man, maybe a different Kelly, would have crowed about his sexual prowess but this man was concerned. His face seemed placid but his eyes gave the game away. Finally, Dawson pulled back, even as Kelly looked annoyed and pushed the glass to her lips.

"I'm fine."

"Tell that to someone who doesn't know you."

She didn't respond and he put the glass down with an audible snick of glass on granite. There was still that undercurrent of strain now that the sex was over. Now that words were their currency and not their bodies. Dawson sat on the counter lost in her thoughts and daydreams. Then Kelly was moving her hand way to clean her up with a warm washcloth. She hissed and his touch gentled. Slower, softer, he wiped away the evidence of their kitchen counter encounter and Dawson raked his hair to some semblance of order with the hand not covered in come. When Kelly glanced up she licked it all off. He gave her a look she couldn't decipher before the washcloth was cleaning her fingers and then finally him. He was always last. She watched him rub the washcloth along his beautiful cock and her mouth dried. Dawson suspected he felt the same way she did about their come. He liked it to linger. Kelly dropped the cloth on the kitchen counter next to her. Dawson inhaled deeply in the quiet.

"If you're so worried, I'll make lunch after we shower. Okay?"

He nodded mutely then turned to look at where Shay was asleep on the couch, snoring. Dawson had kind of forgotten she was there, such was her preoccupation with the moment and with Kelly. She didn't have the energy to feel embarrassed. Kelly was picking his and her clothes up off the floor.

"Yeah and then we'll talk about Casey."

Dawson watched him take the stairs, naked and sweaty and oh so gorgeous, with trepidation. She knew what would happen when she followed. She knew what she wanted. She needed to convince Kelly it was him, and only him.

ʘ

Casey was busy. He was trying to find his mother before the parole officer called again and his mother's last boyfriend said he didn't know where she was and yet again he wondered if he had made a mistake speaking on her behalf. She had killed his father. A man who had diminished her, made her snap and he was half all of those genes, the controlling physically abusive sneering creep. He'd worked hard to prove that you weren't born to be exactly like your parents. He wasn't mean to the women in his life, he didn't hurt them. But when he finally found his mom he was going to yell so long and so loud she'd think his father had risen from the grave and he was too tired and angry to feel guilty about it. His cellphone rang with a high pitched trill.

"What?!"

"Calm down Matt."

His sister. Casey sighed and leaned his head back against the headrest in his truck. He wanted to be doing anything else on his day off but here he was. He felt her disdain over the phone line. He sensed her continued disapproval and long list of I told you so's in the background of every conversation and Casey was tired. So beyond tired of all the things falling apart around him like puzzle pieces that weren't glued to the board. "Jeffrey found her. He's making her call her parole office now"

Jeffery, her pencil pushing husband, had found their mother when he couldn't. No way was she was letting this go any time soon. Casey stifled a groan as he said thank you and his sister clucked her tongue and he could hear his niece singing softly in the background. It'd been too long since a visit of any sort but his mom was exhausting even in her absence from the house. He didn't have the energy for tense strained dinners with his brother in law and niece.

"What's going on with you Matt? You sound tired."

"Eh." he wasn't going to get into the firehouse debacle with his sister. She barely knew any of the players involved and they were only slowly coming back to an even footing since their mom's prison release.

"Work is being work. Both jobs."

"You need to relax. You take on too much," she chided softly and Casey smiled. His sister knew him well despite their distance. And on one level he did want to talk. To get advice on what to do with all the things he was juggling. Heather still called on him for help more often than not, her offer always standing between them. He wouldn't do it. He couldn't. Andy felt like he'd just left. Still. Like he'd walked around the corner and was taking forever to come back with the milk and you didn't sleep with your best friend's wife when it still felt like he could come back to claim her, their sons, their life in the house he'd helped them move into not more than two years before.

"I need to get some sleep is all" he replied quietly. It was nice that his sister worried, all the way out in Oak Park, her life so quiet and removed from the hectic pace he kept. He didn't resent her. He just didn't know how to be the way she and her husband were. He was a bit of a square for a firefighter. Casey knew that. But 9 to 5 and a suit everyday and a job that paid bills but didn't help people. Yeah no, not for him. He guessed he was trying to pay it forward or something.

"You need more than sleep Matt. This isn't your grumpy tired voice. You sound pretty beat"

Well that was fantastic. His sister, who he barely saw, could tell how drained he was by the sound of his voice. He couldn't. But maybe that was because he'd been living inside of it for so long. Juggling summer construction work with firehouse shifts and checking in on his mother and Heather and, Casey closed his eyes as he stopped trying to count all of the things he held on to. As the list of his commitments spiraled long and quiet into the empty cab of his truck. He felt suddenly, inextricably lonely and Casey knew it was because he was isolating himself from Gabi, from people in general after her relationship became public.

Maybe it was beating a dead horse to be mad but he was pretty sure the whole firehouse had known there was a thing between him and Gabi. The only one who had no excuse was Mills and they'd promptly blown up less than four months in because the probie was still a kid. And so, it felt like there was a little bit of pity in the way some of the guys looked at him. Like he'd blown it because yeah, Gabi was a surrogate sister to the guys of Firehouse 51, second watch but she wasn't really a sister. And he was the one she'd shown interest in. The one she helped above and beyond and he was mad at Kelly for usurping that role in her life. They weren't assholes around the break room or anything thank god but she lit up for Kelly the way it used to be between them and yeah some of his anger was self-inflicted. Some of it was self-directed and all-consuming and he lashed out like a jerk because he was the jerk who'd let a good one go. They had been all sorts of off-kilter for too long because of Voight. Which he still maintained he had a right to be angry for. He truly believed Kelly would hurt her and deep down, Gabi knew it too. She wasn't that naive. It wasn't possible.

He hung up with his sister and started driving slowly back to his house. He should really sell it. It was Hallie and his place, the house where they were going to live together. Maybe it wasn't so healthy to dwell in a place that contained all the memories of his failure… something had to change. Fast. He still had no clue how long Kelly and Gabi had been together but Shay was no longer doing too much damage control on that front. He wondered why. It made him curious. Shay couldn't hide her palpable dismay at Kelly and Gabi's relationship. He'd seen her gawk and splutter while Kelly proceeded to say something stupid and pull Gabi close til the tiny blonde woman threw up her hands and walked away flustered. Maybe it was because of Angie. Shay had a person outside of the strange relationship to lean on. Angie had seemed fun enough at the bar all things considered. She'd taken care of Shay and been a voice of reason in an otherwise loud and angry scene.

Casey decided to take the long way back, to avoid all the construction sites he knew of and the traffic jams of the larger streets. He needed a plan. He needed- just then his phone beeped with a text. He glanced at it when he pulled up to the red light. Hey Matt. Can you come over when you get a chance? Someone broke a window…. Heather. Casey smiled. It was nice to be needed by someone. No matter what else was falling apart around him, one person asking for help was enough to make him see the bigger picture on all of it. He figured he'd figure everything else out in due time.

ʘ

Shay was kind of pleased that Kelly had finally acknowledged how right she was about the backlash dating Dawson had brought down on the firehouse. She was pleased but not necessarily happy because she'd had a front row seat to Dawson's slow burning meltdown, the tantrum rant echoed (still) in her ears about of all the stupid selfish shortsighted shittastic things he could do… and Shay didn't disagree with Dawson on that point. Kelly transferring wasn't what any of the three of them wanted. Far from it. She thought back to that moment in Boden's office where she realized Dawson was not taking the idea of Kelly transferring well. At all.

First it was the quiet, oh really? when Chief asked Shay if she had any insight into Kelly's sudden thoughts on departing 51. The restraint of Dawson's cocked eyebrow and slightly flared nostrils, the slow creep from incredulous irritation to abject horror before she stuffed every feeling into her anger output box and tilted the rest of their morning sideways with the dash back to their apartment for a confrontation. Shay burrowed deeper into the couch. It had been a good nap but she was hungry. Except she didn't really want to interact with the lovebirds at all. Shay, who had counseled Dawson to let Kelly go, to let her take care of him after the third storey building fall, and the PT and the bad moods, watched her partner send herself into a panic spiral over the idea that Kelly was leaving Firehouse 51. Just the idea. And Dawson was not a needy person. It seemed like at some point she was going to have to do the exact thing she did not want to do and sit down and talk it out with Dawson. Tell her things about Kelly maybe. It bugged the shit out of her but the insecure, frantic, so in love and so out of her depth Dawson was going to do something stupid. What could be stupider than hooking up with her manwhore of a best friend and crashing and burning several years of unresolved sexual tension, she wasn't sure but Dawson's talent at impulse was somewhat legendary. Plus she seemed so unhappy about just the thought of not being with Kelly. It really did make Shay pause and take notice. In all her years of listening to Dawson wax poetic about all of Casey's wonderful qualities, she'd never ever seen her partner react so wildly.

The weekend away was supposed to help Dawson relax and not worry about the fact that she loved Kelly and Casey was being a wounded bear. However Kelly had blown that up with his little bombshell. Dawson had been only slightly sappy. Slightly mopey which Shay had attributed more to Casey's stunning refusal than Dawson's confession of love. She hadn't mentioned Kelly once or checked her phone. The moratorium Shay had placed early in the weekend had worked and she'd even called Angie to warn her it would happen. Her girlfriend had grinned and rolled her eyes before going back to painting. Angie would be fun right now but she could hear Dawson and Kelly moving around the kitchen and she stopped for a second to listen. What the...

As accustomed as she was getting to their relationship, she still had no frame of reference for its parameters. No idea how her two friends actually operated as a pair. Dawson flew off the handle and it seemed like Kelly calmed her down. Which was definitely weird. Kelly calming anyone down outside of an emergency situation. And so, Shay snuggled deeper into the couch while semi-eavesdropping on her friends. Her friends who still wouldn't share much about their relationship. They were demonstrably guarded in the face of her early horror and so Shay had not broached the subject of Dawson's love confession with her over the last two days but it was something they would need to address again. Unfortunately. Especially if she persisted in believing that Kelly would run away from the sort of love Dawson might offer. Dawson didn't do chintzy. She didn't do sugar sweet. Not really. It's why she and Shay got along so well. If Kelly found out Dawson loved him, he'd take her and her love in whole hog and wallow in it greedily.

"Baby..." came Kelly's voice through the pillows over Shay's head. "you can't fix this."

"I'm not trying to fix it. I'm telling you not to make decisions about us based on his actions"

They were discussing Casey. This surprised Shay. She didn't think that Dawson would feel comfortable debating her relationship with the other lieutenant to Kelly but it seemed that she was wrong. Suddenly she could hear the sounds of Dawson cooking lunch with her pots and pans. Oil was sizzling in a pan. It sounded like Kelly was taking down plates while they argued, far more quietly than earlier.

"And stop bringing up how much I care about him. I've never lied to you Kelly. I'm right where I want to be"

"Come on D. You don't want to be the bad guy. You won't. So why get on my case about how I decide to make things better."

"You leaving 51 does not make things better. Don't be a jackass"

"Now wait a min-"

"He let Heather talk shit about you. Kelly. He let Heather blame you for Andy's death and I know both your heads are up your asses about it. Still. But she wasn't there. And he just stood there like a--"

"Hey. You didn't defend us either. You just stood there at the bar."

Shay didn't hear anything for a minute and she was curious enough to want to 'wake up' and see what was happening. Kelly was making soft sounds while Dawson harrumphed and a spatula scraped a pan. Shay listened for the noise of food flipping.

"You still think I don't believe in us"

"D baby… you're fine. We're fine"

"I don't want us to be fine! I want us to be happy! We were so fucking happy when no-"

"Shut up D. I'm happy."

There was a snort and then a sniffle and the loud sound of a slap against skin and Kelly's muffled ouch and a spatula scraping in a dish and a quiet falling over the room like a hush as someone, presumably Dawson, sighed.

"Kelly… I see you remember? You're not happy. He's in your head. He knows you and knows just what to say to hurt you and then I spend days trying to pull you back. Don't give him anymore leverage. Please. Don't even suggest a transfer. If you go, I go and where would that leave Shay?"

It pulled Shay up short to hear this. All of it. Her friends were having an adult rational discussion about a problem instead of yelling. Dawson was using her as a bartering chip with Kelly. Dawson was saying if Kelly left Firehouse 51 she'd ditch Shay in a heartbeat. Whatthefuuuuck? If Kelly didn't know Dawson was in love with him, after words like that these two truly needed mental health counseling. Which, to be fair, given the nature of their jobs, they all needed.

"You'd leave 51?"

That this is what Kelly latched on to out of everything that Dawson said, did not surprise Shay. It still made her want to slap him silly for not listening to the more cogent details… like Casey using his superior knowledge of Kelly to get him off-balance.

"For fuck's sake Kelly! What did I tell you when your prick of a parental unit was yelling at Boden?'

Kelly didn't answer immediately. Or at all, it seemed as Shay soon picked up the scrape of forks and knives against plates as they ate their food on the barstools presumably. She was silently processing everything she'd heard. While hearing Kelly say that she was right had been pleasant and deeply satisfying, the nature of this last argument, it's quiet overwrought feeling, so different from the bombast she was used to with these two fighting, it made her feel ill. She had to face it. Had to articulate this to herself for real now. Her friends weren't just fucking. They were a couple. Love was on that damn kitchen counter being served and eaten even if they never discussed it and she was curled up on the couch having a mini freak out because these two would so be the types to pick up sticks and leave her behind. Kelly had already tried it once with Spain.

"You said never, D"

"Yeah, and I said take me with you. Okay?"

"Yeah, okay."

Holy shit. This could not be happening. In no version of these events in her imagination, did Shay think about Kelly and Dawson actively pursuing their relationship away from 51. That they would make a mutual decision to upend everything for their own sake. That they could conceive of leaving her behind because of Casey. Dawson was willing to ditch 51 and Casey for Kelly. She had totally missed the mark on the kind of love that Dawson had confessed to in the ambulance. This didn't have the rationalizing quality of her affection for Mills. Nor was it the saptastic near mindless devotion she sometimes had for Casey. This was headstrong and crazy and it didn't even sound crazy as she laid there and listened to them speak, and softly kiss and murmur together. It was fucking earnest as hell and completely mutual.

Shay yawned loudly and stretched. She lifted herself into a sitting position on the couch and blinked blearily as two dark heads turned towards her. They were so entwined it was absurd. Dawson's knees between Kelly's, both of his hands up her shirt, while her hands clenched his bare shoulders.

"Something smells good. Any left for me?"

Shay pasted a smile on her face as she spoke. Dawson immediately got up to get her water and a plate. Shay looked at Kelly while she did so. He wasn't even looking at Shay. He was watching Dawson, like he was only now seeing her. His eyes were wonder-struck, like he couldn't believe she was actually here, in his kitchen. Like he couldn't believe she meant all the words they held between them that Shay would never know. It stung. It really hurt to accept but her friendship with Kelly was permanently altered. He wasn't damaged anymore. He wouldn't go out whoring off shift and come back with stories she could tell. Renee wasn't riding his subconscious with her betrayal. He was starting to believe he deserved what he wanted and he could have it. Dawson had given him that. Not her.

Thank you for reading!