A/N: The first letter Lilith writes to her mom...I have no other words. Just bask in the bittersweetness of this letter, I guess.
Till next time,
D.L.D
7th Year- I know what Heaven is now
Hey mom,
This is my first time actually writing to you, isn't it? Sorry it took so long. I had to learn to write first.
I don't know where to begin. I've never really spoken to you, let alone know anything about you. You're more like a stranger than a mom... Not in a bad way! It's just- I kinda feel like I don't know what to write. Then why am I writing?
I don't know.
Maybe it's to try and get to know you? Or feel closer? I hear so much about you and yet I feel like I don't know you. Like... you were never there.
Sometimes dad talks about you, but not a lot. I don't think he likes to. Aunt Courtney's always telling me to stop bothering him about my mom. She says that it'll just be easier if I left the subject alone. But I don't want to. I want to know more about you. I want to know what you were like before I was born. Aunt Bridge and Leshawna always tell me about you. They tell me about when you were in high school and how you were really good at art. They told me all sorts about you, but I still don't feel like I know you.
I've seen pictures of you too! Everyone says we look alike, but I don't see the similarities. You have darker eyes than me and your hair had teal streaks. My hair's just black. That's not the same as you. Plus you were way lighter than me.
Now that I've gotten a bit older I know what Dad meant when he said you were in Heaven. I don't like to think of it that way though, so at school I say my mom went to a nicer place where she can have fun all day. I think everyone knows you're not here though. They always try to make me feel good on mother's day. Like I'm special or something. But I'm not. I have a dad that can do what their moms do, and he does it way better!
I still wanna write my own stories when I'm older. I think you'd like them, maybe you can read them in Heaven. I'd love it if you could read them to me then it'd be like you're here!
Sometimes I feel weird because my mom's not around like all the other girls. They all tell me about how they do things together and sometimes I feel like I'm left out. Sure, I can do stuff they can't do but it's no fun when they can do things I can't. Plus it sounds fun to have a mom, having fun and doing stuff together. Now I'm making it sound like I'm jealous. I'm not. I just need to stop writing.
I wish you were here,
Lilith