AN: Look. Some of these characters are really really stubborn. They don't like talking. They have a hard time being vulnerable when they DAMN WELL SHOULD BE. And I sit at a laptop trying to force them into a corner but then they slip sideways. And sulk. And want to be all cute and scared while I try to corral them into an action that makes total sense to the rest of us. Staying true to the personalities and character traits of some of these people is no fun. You want them to do this gesture in one particular way and end up backtracking and losing way too much time fixing it the way you want it but isn't the way the character would do this at all.
I'm being vague but dammit to hell the men of 51 are stupid sometimes. Read on. Not mine. Dick Wolf et al. Penultimate chapter most likely unless someone goes way off course next chapter again.
Antonio was sitting at his desk in Vice when the power flickered out for five long minutes before the emergency generator kicked on and the room quieted after its brief, loud, groan of annoyance. No one blinked at the power outage. Summer was a season of brownouts and excessive power usage. Everyone shifted back to their work. It was some time later, the Pit humming with everyday activity, before he found out about the large swaths of Chicago without power west of Interstate 90. Patrol officers from District 21 were heading out to keep the peace. It was another fifteen minutes before he got word about the electrical substation in flames near Humboldt Park. That got upgraded to explosion and suddenly more cops were scrambling out the precinct doors into twilight. Into the worst time of day for no power: darkness and all the nefarious deeds it tends to hide.
It was hours before he got the call that Gabi was at Lakeshore with a moderate concussion, post-traumatic amnesia, a perforated eardrum. He hung up before the nurse could complete the list and was a demonstrably bad detective when he failed to check in with his supervisor about his unscheduled departure. He couldn't care less. It was Gabi. His pain in the ass little sister was in the hospital and he was wondering who the fuck to call first. The last text she'd sent was a long chain of expletives and angry emojis. There was only one reason she would have done that. Severide.
His thoughts lingered briefly on the firefighter. Antonio was loathe to admit feeling a bit guilty. The man had looked proper stunned by the end of his lecture. Quiet. Decidedly unplayerlike as Antonio vented about white boys and stereotypes and how his sister was a real live human being not a fuck doll and maybe he should try celibacy for awhile. The vice detective winced a grimace at his own harsh words. He was drunk and very very angry at Severide when he said it. The squad lieutenant insisted he would make any amends to Gabi she needed… once he found out what had set her off. The guy had seemed sincere. Contrite even, given the massive favour Antonio had pulled, helping to set up the boxing tryouts competition between CFD and CPD. It had been enough to calm him down. He was willing to give Severide the benefit of the doubt just this once.
Antonio's doubt disappeared when he found the cocky bastard asleep next to his sister, his massive frame curled around her on a twin-sized cot, all of his gear scattered across the hospital floor. Antonio stopped short at the sight, a little nonplussed despite all the obvious previous evidence of Severide's devotion to Gabi. How he was always sitting up at the bar in Molly's, plotting to leave Firehouse 51 to Boden's dismay...
"Oh dear"
The nurse beside Antonio sighed. She'd escorted him quickly and quietly to Gabi's room but they both seemed at a loss in the current situation. "Should I wake him detective?"
"Absolutely not. That man came here from an active fire. Jesus…"
The detective scrubbed a hand over his face. More than anything Antonio wanted to sit in the chair next to Gabi's bed and make sure she was okay but Severide got there first. Had treated the hospital room like the locker room of 51, gear everywhere as he stripped enough to lie down next to his baby sister. The man showed up. Literally. He felt like a voyeur just standing there watching them. He knew Gabi had been stressed out with all the drama between Casey and Severide. Had worked hard to fix things in that very Gabi way of hers. This was the first time he'd seen her quiet in a long time. The first time he'd seen her quiet with a man who professed to care for her… and obviously did if the tear tracks he spied on Severide's cheeks were any indication. Shit. This was a private moment. With gentle hands, Antonio turned the nurse towards the door, a smile stretching his lips to ease her protest about hospital rules and cleanliness. All the while all he could think was Severide might be worse than Gabi about a loved one's injuries. Downright insufferable even. Antonio cracked the smallest smile at the thought of his sister on the receiving end of an overbearing, overprotective and hovering presence. He looked forward to the fireworks.
ʘ
Severide came awake slowly. He registered where he was before his eyes had even adjusted to the dim light. His gaze focused in on the only thing that mattered. Bri was still sleeping, and the vise grip of terror had not left his chest yet. His baby was a bruised, quiet, incoherent shell. More silent and still than she'd ever been in any bed they shared, hogging his covers, snuggling deep into his embrace with the smell of her shampoo less than three inches from his mouth. He could no longer pretend at a cavalier attitude with Bri. In fact, he'd never had one but the woman he loved most was so completely unaware of his devotion and had nearly died. Again. Shit got very very clear. He tucked in close, his mouth millimeters from her own. He felt the puff of her breath against his mouth and he licked his own cracked lips in response.
"I love you," he whispered against lips he wanted to be yelling Spanish curses at him. Anything was better than the quiet. "Please be okay…"
He couldn't stay in the bed. Severide wasn't sure how long he had slept but his hip ached and his tibia throbbed. All irrational need for closeness aside, he was filthy and too big and it was a wonder no one had come in and dragged him away from Bri yet. He kissed her lips softly and a soft sound of discomfort rumbled past Bri's lips. Severide waited for one long moment. Hoping she would wake up. She didn't and he sighed before slowly, carefully, extricating himself from the cot. Severide tried to stifle a groan but didn't succeed as his back cracked loudly.
"That sounded painful"
Severide quickly glanced over to the other bed. Shay was awake. She looked better. More sleepy than exhausted. He didn't respond as he gingerly went to put his shoes back on. He was hoping she hadn't heard his declaration to Bri. He found himself praying she hadn't. Bri deserved to hear it first. Deserved to know it and when and how he'd fallen for her before any of the people who had stood in their way for so long he had begun to distrust his taste in friends.
"I think it may be 4am. Another couple hours before doctors start doing rounds and kick visitors out" Shay ventured gently.
Severide grunted. He picked up his turnout gear and wandered over to the bathroom. He felt Shay's eyes on him as he hung the coat on one of the door hooks, the silence between them loud enough to echo. To range out over the space he put between their bodies, his hands trembling as he pretended to adjust the coat on the hook.
"I'm sorry Kel. I'm really fucking sorry this happened. She told me. Dawson said-"
"No. I don't want to hear it. I can't."
Severide finally turned to his best friend, his roommate. The woman he'd almost had a child with, a blue-eyed pixie he'd actually imagined in his weaker moments. His whole entire family was there in that hospital room and he was beyond spent. He crossed to Shay's side and collapsed in a plastic chair, her eyes wide and wet staring at him.
"I was jealous okay? It took Angie and I breaking up for me to realize it but this whole time I guess I wanted Dawson and I have really screwed all of us up with my bullshit but I'm sorry and she lo-"
"Stop talking Shay. It's been a long night. You're injured. I'm tired. This is too much. Way too much right now."
"But do you forgive me?"
"You called me a coward."
It took another hour of bickering back and forth before the two friends finally reached a detente they could live with. Severide was still annoyed and hurt, his mistrust of Shay's intentions obvious in his brilliant blue eyes. He wasn't leaving her. He was adamant about that. However, she needed to work on her codependency issues. That he was mature enough to call them that surprised Shay and earned her a scowl. Shay for her part was earnest and eager to make amends. It would take time. Time both friends were grateful to have in the midst of an explosion and blackout. Didn't make either of them complete pushovers as Severide intimated when Shay brought up her opinion on his departure from Firehouse 51.
He finally stepped out of the hospital room so drained he didn't notice Antonio immediately. The detective bounced up from his chair in the waiting area beyond the nursing station and strode over with the carefully restrained air of a relative left too long without news. Which was entirely too accurate, and Severide had nothing to offer beyond Shay's original diagnosis. He felt awkward and ashamed as Antonio lit into him with questions he couldn't answer.
"Doctors will be around in another hour to give an update. I think. You should sit with her."
It was all he could offer, embarrassed to have kept Bri's brother from her bedside with his selfish need to touch her. He hadn't known Antonio would be in the waiting room but of course he would be. The siblings were close. And even if Severide had no reference point for sibling loyalty, he grasped the concept. It had been nearly twelve hours since the explosion. Probably more. The city was still scrambling and they were exceedingly lucky that Lakeshore was east of the power grid blackout. He was standing in a hospital hallway with one of the most important men in Bri's life. There was no question of Antonio being there and none for him either. He didn't say it and Antonio didn't need to ask when his presence said enough. Antonio slapped Severide on the back and moved past him without another word. Severide held the shorter man back with a hand on his forearm.
"You should know I'm going to take care of her."
Severide didn't say always but his face must have implied it because Antonio's frown became a full-fledged grin, a laugh even, as Severide tried not to feel insulted. He didn't know Antonio well but still…
"You poor bastard. Good luck with her"
He watched Antonio walk into Bri's room irritated by the detective's casual dismissal before he realized what Antonio meant. Bri had a temper. One that rivaled his own when she couldn't get what she wanted. Instead of dread or trepidation a sense of relief shifted through Severide. That probably passed for a blessing from Antonio and he would take it for all it was worth. A small smile creased his face then as he headed toward the cafeteria and some much needed coffee.
ʘ
It started with murmurs. She couldn't quite hear anything and her eyes hurt from a throbbing headache. She squeezed them tight. Everything was too much and too close. Dawson felt reluctant to try. A rarity for the tenacious paramedic. She tried to stretch and a deep pained moan echoed out of her chest. Her limbs protested the attempt. Behind her closed eyelids she tried to process what had happened. There were gaps. Long fuzzy gaps in time where nothing poured in when she reached for a memory. The loudest, clearest thing was the view out the front windshield of the ambo on her way to a call. It could be any day. Shay was driving. And frowning. Dawson scrunched her nose and tried to think around the mental block pulling her away from her thoughts. It was getting louder. Warmer…
"Gabi?"
Her eyes fluttered open. Dawson stared up into her brother's familiar face. He looked worried which was a funny change from their norm. Antonio didn't hover but she could smell his cologne. He was so close she could smell the coffee on his breath and her nose scrunched again in disgust even as her eyes watered with each facial movement.
"How bad?" she croaked.
"Doc said you'd be an inpatient overnight for continued observation. Walking wounded for at least a month. You broke a couple fingers. Do you remember what happened?"
Dawson glared at her brother as she struggled to sit up.
"I can barely hear you. Would I be asking you if I did?" her voice rasped in her own ears, an uncomfortably coarse sound.
She swallowed to ease her dry throat. Antonio propped pillows behind her head as Dawson grimaced. She couldn't use her left hand for leverage but leaning back on her right arm wasn't much better. Her right hand touched the side of her face gingerly. It was tender and warm and…
"Don't touch it!"
"Ow. Antonio…" Dawson hissed, the throbbing headache had the tempo of her pulse. It echoed in her skull with an acutely muscular sensation. Her scalp and hair felt tight on the surface of her skin. She couldn't hear well but being loud didn't help with everything else that hurt. "How bad?"
"You'll be out by tomorrow evening on disability Dawson."
Dawson turned her head slowly. Shay. She was perfectly upright and eating jello in her own hospital bed. Her face was unmarred by any of the ugliness that mottled Dawson's own skin. She didn't need to see it to know it was there. She hurt everywhere.
"Stats?" Dawson whispered hoarsely. She made sure to be looking at Shay's lips just in case she didn't catch every word.
"Concussion. Perforated eardrum. Broken fingers. Cracked ribs. Not sure what else."
Dawson processed that information slowly as pieces of time puzzled themselves together in her brain. The effort drained her. She was finally sitting up and Antonio tried to press a cup of water to her lips. She batted his hand away lethargically. One memory resolved itself behind her eyes.
"The engineer?" Dawson hesitated to ask and by the look on Shay's face she didn't want the answer. The jello was set down on the little table tray as Shay swallowed. The blonde paramedic went to speak but Antonio cut in quickly.
"How bout you concentrate on getting better? Mom is threatening to visit"
"You called her?! Tonto. No one else runs to mama faster than you!"
She had the distinct pleasure of seeing her brother look chagrined at her accusation. She sure as shit hadn't called their mother when he got shot. Not right away. She'd panicked and scrambled and bullied nurses into giving her updates but her mother was nowhere near Antonio until nearly a day later. She was still getting lectures about that decision. Her indignant retorts of what could you possibly have done besides worried? were dismissed out of hand.
Dawson wanted to close her eyes and fall asleep again but knew she shouldn't. At some point the doctor would come in and poke at her again. Make some superior pronouncement about her prognosis and recovery while she tried not to be irritated about feeling helpless. With a firm premed background she could make her own analysis and it didn't make her any happier. She was going to be off-shift for a month at least.
"What's the latest from the job. Clearly we didn't get the fire out before the explosion" she asked by way of distraction.
Dawson drifted in and out as Antonio told her what he'd heard. Slowly but surely she was filing thoughts away into their respective corners. Picking them up from where they had shattered in the explosion and remembering. Shay helped intermittently then stopped when she dozed off. It didn't matter what anyone said to Dawson just then. Only that it was normal, the background chatter she'd heard on a daily basis and was accustomed to ignoring.
"Power's still out?" she murmured.
"Yeah PD has their hands full. No traffic lights. Looters during the night."
"Hrmm." Dawson glanced at the table next to her bed and did a double take. She recognized that helmet. Her eyes were wide, her pulse rapid as she turned back to her brother.
"Where's Severide?"
ʘ
While a weak but stubborn Dawson was pestering her brother, Severide was pacing back and forth, eyes bloodshot as he waited for Antonio to exit the room. It was mid-morning now. The doctors had done their rounds but Antonio hadn't left the room to give any updates. Asshole. Severide had snuck in some jello to Shay when she woke up but while Antonio sat next to Bri, he'd slid out the door sideways anguished and curiously avoidant. He wanted Dawson to have privacy with her family. He wanted a lot of things. Or so it seemed. He wondered how difficult it would be to convince her to let him stay at her place to take care of her while she recovered...
When Casey came striding around the hallway corner at the head of a phalanx of Firehouse 51 brethren, his immediate reaction was No fucking way. He wanted nothing more than Casey's absence in that moment. So much so he raised his hand to keep the man he'd called friend back and away from her hospital room.
"Casey. Stay out. Her brother's in there."
"Like hell I will. She's my-"
"No." Severide recognized his voice sounded like ice. He didn't care. His hands were braced in front of Casey's shoulders without touching him. He didn't think it'd be wise to touch him just yet. And 51 was frozen around their two lieutenants, waiting to catch the fallout. Hermann hissed a whisper about being in a hospital that everyone ignored.
"You don't get to shut her out, confuse her then show up like nothing happened."
Casey had the decency to look contrite for about two seconds before he cleared his throat and glared at Severide all the same.
"I'm not the one who left an active job site like a fucking coward to-"
Severide shoved Casey up against the wall without thinking. That word was beginning to annoy him. He held onto his colleague by the lapels of his turncoat and leaned in, the snarl on his face as controlled as he could make it. Casey being Casey, looked like the cool customer of the two, the martyr to Severide's seething scapegoat. His hands up by his head in the classic it wasn't me position. It just pissed Severide off more as the men tried to calm him down. There was nothing to calm down. His girlfriend was in a hospital bed and this jerk had done nothing but jerk her around.
"Listen to me you condescending twit. I won't pummel you here. I'm not getting kicked out cuz of you. Put up or shut the fuck up. You get one chance to beat the shit out of me at tryouts and we never discuss Dawson again. Ever. Understand? She's my priority. She is always going to be my priority. Not my fault you had your head up your ass for years."
Severide shoved off of Casey and resisted the urge to spit on the ground at his feet. It was a hospital after all but no one called him a coward. Not even Shay and Dawson had reamed her thoroughly for that accusation. He wasn't a doorway dancer. He was the exact opposite with everything but his heart and even that was probably inaccurate. He'd left that twisted pulpous mess in Dawson's hands months ago and never copped to it. Never accepted how deep he was in until the day she almost wasn't around to hear him say how much he loved her.
"Fine. What happens when I win?"
It took Severide a minute to register that Casey thought he had a chance of besting him in the ring before he chuckled. He thought about Dawson. How she'd looked in officers' quarters hours before. How earnest and wide open she'd been with him while her hands shook. How he was who she wanted. How she'd never been loved the way she thought he'd loved Whaley and Royce. Which was fucking absurd because they paled in comparison to the strength of his bond with her. How he'd dived right in without a shred of reluctance and coaxed her along the way. All of it. And she'd said the words first. How he'd needed her to say it first. She was better with words after all.
"Nothing happens Casey. You lost her eight months ago. We just stop fighting about it."
Casey went pale under the smudges of smoke on his cheek but said nothing. He nodded his agreement to the spar before staring at the hospital room door. Severide finally allowed Capp and Mills to pull the truck lieutenant away. One glance had Hermann leading Casey in the opposite direction of Dawson's door. Severide rattled off Shay and Dawson's latest medical stats to Mills when prodded. Then he collapsed into a squeaky plastic chair in the small waiting area, his back straight, even though he was exhausted, because these men had come from a fire he'd left. He made no apologies but got a recap from Capp all the same. How Boden was doing a postmortem for the brass before heading over. Their shift was done and tired though the men were, they'd stick around the hospital for Dawson.
"Severide? Hey. Kelly?"
He blinked and looked up. Antonio was gesturing him into the hospital room, his face as blank as he could make it. This didn't bode well to Severide's imagination and he glanced around at his colleagues, these men he trusted with his life. He patted Mills on the back, the younger man's face looked deeply troubled, before striding over to Antonio with a bob of his head.
"How is she?"
"Awake. Asking for you."
Severide was grateful in that moment that Antonio could play bodyguard. The detective was staring down Casey who had walked over as soon as the door opened. He was making it perfectly clear who was and was not welcome even if Severide and Antonio both knew the cop wasn't his biggest fan either. Severide didn't pause to say thank you. Abruptly, he maneuvered around Antonio and closed the door in his wake.
It should have been a small thing, Severide reasoned to himself, watching Dawson become Bri with the turn of her head and her smile. It wasn't. And he let the tears fall because he could. Because she was alive as he kneeled by her bed and kissed her broken hand. He looked up into her dark eyes, his lips still on her skin as she traced one finger through his hair. Bri was still here and he could see her while she saw into him and through all the anguish the last few hours had wreaked.
"I'm okay."
Severide snorted. He turned her hand over to kiss the palm, the pulse in her wrist, her elbow crease, up and up until his mouth ever so gently slotted against hers in a brief kiss. He watched her eyes flutter closed but couldn't do the same. He had to see her, to remind himself she was awake.
"Tell that to someone who doesn't know you."
"I'm alive."
"You have a major concussion. Bad as mine."
She didn't debate that point which was a relief. Bri's face turned thoughtful. Soft and quiet while he stroked her cheek and kissed her again and again gently. She sighed as she nibbled his bottom lip. She wanted more but Severide didn't give it. Instead he leaned over her on the bed, his arms bracketing her face, his medallion resting on her clavicle, his mouth on her nose and eyes and forehead. On each ear in turn, so gently she could barely feel it. He hoped it wasn't a complete tear in her eardrum. He hoped she didn't need surgery. Severide had no clue what her recovery time would look like. Her memory was going to be tested constantly like his was, and he refused to ask what she remembered. Knew from experience that there were some moments you just never got back. He knew what it was like to feel hollowed. He wouldn't ask if she remembered saying I love you.
"I'm gonna take this moment to step out and talk to the nurses about my discharge papers…" Shay declared loudly. They both ignored her. Severide stared at Bri greedily. Letting his eyes go anywhere and everywhere on her body while she let him, the quiet convalescent they both knew she was not.
He watched while she slid over in the bed to make room for him without thinking. Leaning on her left, less damaged side, she picked at the blanket, a scowl on her face. She was too weak to lift it, her face a mask of concealed pain. Severide had not forgotten about the bruised ribs but it seemed she had as he took hold of the plain cotton sheet. He toed off his steel boots. Carefully, he ranged out beside her again, knees bent so he didn't knock into her legs, and draped the blanket over both of them. They both glanced at her left hand, ring and pinkie finger in a splint as he eased his left palm against hers between their heads on the one flat pillow.
"You're here" she whispered.
"Yeah…"
Severide huddled closer. He could see the smattering of deep bruises all along her shoulder beneath the hospital gown. How they purpled her brown skin, blood escaping the veins and arteries to pool under her fragile epidermis. His eyes wandered over her. Finally, finally checking in with sight what he could not, should not touch just yet. "What clothes should I bring you?" he asked suddenly.
Bri blinked wildly. As though the thought hadn't even occurred to her. As though the idea of Severide bring her clothes was the farthest thing from her mind. He tried not to take it personally.
"I dunno. You decide. Am I staying with you?"
You decide. Severide looked down at her small broken hand, the fingers locked into place, his callused hand holding it. This was his decision. She was in pain and starting to feel it and he wanted to pamper the hell out of his girl. His woman, the tough talking, punch throwing spitfire paramedic was his home. If he was her favourite place to be, then she was his home and he better start acting like it. She was trusting him in this moment, asking for help and he would rise to the challenge.
"No baby, I'm staying with you."
He kissed her nose and listened to her murmur happily. She opened her eyes real wide as she smiled, realising what he'd just said and visibly thrilled at his declaration. Severide smiled to see her enthusiasm. How her nose scrunched up as she tried to hide her pain through her joy. Could he do this? He had to do this.
"Hey Bri. Guess what." he whispered.
"What?"
"I love you."
Severide watched her face go slack with shock or disbelief, he didn't know. He didn't care. She was alive and unwell and his. Thank God. Then, slowly, she leaned forward. She brushed her lips over the back of his left hand and snuggled closer her eyes never leaving his. Her chin tucked into the pillow.
"I love you Kelly Patrick Severide"
"I love you more Bri," he croaked, his eyes wet, and smile shaky on his lips.
"Hmm. Impossible" She giggled when he leaned in to kiss her softly. Her front teeth tugged at his bottom lip and he groaned. She wasn't strong enough for all the ways he wanted to profess himself just then. He focused his gaze and concentrated on using words he hadn't said in a long time.
"Fact" he whispered, his words slipping directly into her mouth where he hovered. "I've loved you since the moment I decided to keep you."
He felt Bri pull her head back, the look on her face incredulous, all sleep chased away with his confession.
"What? Really?"
She was unconvinced and he couldn't blame her. They'd fought every step of the way about whether she was in this with him completely. Probably because he'd been all in from jump. No. Definitely because he'd been all the way in from jump while she loved Casey. Still did but the not same way. Her speech was still ringing in his ears. He hoped she remembered it.
He hadn't even let himself think love that first morning after. It was fast. Too fast. Crazy even. And he was good with crazy they both knew that but all he let himself think in the moment was he wanted her. So he'd reached out and she'd let go of her anxieties long enough to let him kiss her wild and screaming on the kitchen floor. The rest was now history. Their shared history. He let one hand graze over her hip, covered in a paper gown and cotton sheet. Instinctively he had known she wouldn't recognize his feelings for what they were. That it would take her time to get to where he'd always been. He'd been in this for the long haul from the get. For all his flaws and her indecision, he'd been in love with her for as long as he'd had her. Severide's heart went wild as he finally admitted to Bri what had been true for longer than his mind could fully grasp.
"Yeah baby. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone. Anyone. I loved you that first morning. I just… damn it to fucking hell. I was breathless just looking at you. You. I'd seen you all the time, every shift for years. And I was just sitting in your fucking kitchen and you had these three damn freckles on your nose. Gorgeous. I didn't feel like I was falling. It felt like suddenly I had air and light and just… oh fuck I'm screwing this up. You're goddamn crying. Bri?!"
Severide reached in and held Bri's head gently with his left hand. She was sniffling, eyes streaming, ugly crying and trying to hide her face in the pillow, flinching with pain and embarrassment.
"You know me Bri. You know every bad part and you kissed me anyway. You took my hand and… I don't have words for the spectacular. But that's what you are. An absolute fucking miracle. I can't let go. I can't. You're home. Does that make any sense? Baby can you calm down for me? I don't want you to-"
"Shut up Sev! Oh my god. Home? I'm home?!"
He shushed her as he curved his body in and around her. Bri nuzzled into his neck and breathed in and out. In and out. Again and again while her uninjured right hand clutched his side. It was one of her curious habits but he let her because soon she was calm and his arm was braced over her back, careful and cautious as he thought about his response.
"Well yeah. You said I'm your favourite place to be. Well, you're mine. This right here. It's home".
He helped her wipe the tears away, aware on one level, that her extreme emotional outburst was more the concussion than his words. A delayed response, a product of all the chemicals running through her bloodstream, he didn't feel guilty for telling her how much he loved her. No matter how absurd it all sounded. Time was not guaranteed to anyone. They could have gone their separate ways that first morning. He knew it. He'd done it dozens of times before. He'd had a script and she'd upended it with a smile and her attempt at nonchalance. Even with all the damage caused in their wake, he still wouldn't take back that first sober decision. She was too damn beautiful for regret. He was too damn selfish.
"So… I guess if you're staying with me. You might as well move in." Bri murmured softly, her mouth over his chest where his shirt was damp with tears. She said it softly like she was too shy to say it aloud. Like she thought this was all a dream and she shouldn't say what she wanted where just anyone could hear her. Severide kissed her forehead in immediate response.
"Is that a genuine offer Bri?"
"Yeah."
"Okay then. Yeah"
"Good!"
They laid there grinning in a companionable silence as their hearts slowed down. Bri kept murmuring that they were crazy but Severide didn't care. The rush of emotions and tears subsided into the quiet tracing of each other's limbs and hands, Severide being especially meticulous in that respect. He kissed and gently ghosted fingers over her ribs while she hissed. He counted the bruises that covered her skin. It was a pleasant moment in the middle of all the trauma and chaos of their everyday. It struck Severide pretty hard just then, how perfect life could be in the moments you created instead of the ones you waited for. He'd been waiting too long for this one.
"Hey Sev?"
"Yeah?"
"Now what?"
"Now what because I love you or because you're in the hospital?"
"Either. Both"
"Pretty sure I just keep on loving you" he whispered thoughtfully. He loved the smile she gave him when he said it. He flat out grinned in response. "Also I take care of your stubborn butt until it's all better then make love to you until we both pass out".
Bri's hand squeezed his waist reflexively as she looked up, her eyes wide in her small face as it slowly flushed. He wanted her like this always, flushed with feeling whether it be anger or pleasure. He wanted her.
"You promise?"
"You wanna hear the list?"
Bri giggled then yawned and Severide did what he'd always done when she had a close call on a shift. Again. He couldn't help it. He kissed each body part he could reach in turn until Bri's body went slack and easy. He whispered all the words he'd never given her before and then some, her right hand gripping his tee shirt, her pulse beating triple time under his lips. How Hershey kisses reminded him of her nipples. How he'd buy them for her in bulk and sneak them into her locker. How he was never ever going to tell her how he knew the combination for her locker.
She fell asleep and he continued to watch over her, exhausted as hell but not going anywhere until she did. He had at least 48 hrs before he was insubordinate. He'd spend them right next to her. The thought came unbidden and reckless I'm gonna marry her. He didn't panic his fingers casually stroked over the splint on her left hand, imagining what kind of ring Bri would want. It had to be unique.
ʘ
"That is unacceptable"
Boden was not one to lose his temper easily. He was sitting in Chicago Fire Department Headquarters, still in his work blues, worried to the bone about his paramedics. He despised the political machinations of CFD HQ. He resented the fact that he'd been called to task for organising a mill. Not even a mill, tryouts for the boxing bouts that would occur next Spring as part of CFD and CPD's annual charity efforts on behalf of Chicago. He didn't mean to be defiant… except he did as Chief Tiberg cleared his throat. Annoyance was plain on the older man's florid face. Boden gritted his teeth.
"With all due respect Chief Boden, unacceptable isn't something you get to decide".
"This is a local event" he argued, " our local police precinct, local fire stations. This is a communi-"
"Chief Boden," Tiberg interrupted curtly. "You involved another public service department. This is no longer a local or community anything. We had no clue what was going on! We were completely unaware this was happening. That is unacceptable".
A taut silence pulled at the space between Boden and Tiberg. Chief Tiberg was flanked on either side by cronies who, it seemed to Boden, were sulking because they hadn't thought of it first. Boden swallowed the sarcastic retort he was about to let loose. He had served as a firefighter for twenty odd years. He would not lose his career over a boxing match. It was beyond stupid and would defeat the purpose he'd started out with in the first place: keeping Lieutenant Severide at Firehouse 51. Damn if his subordinates didn't know what kind of trouble he'd go to when he tried to help them...
"So what happens next? Would you like me to cancel the tryouts? We lose face with CPD if I do that. I'm trying to repair what Sergeant Voight destroyed."
Chief Tiberg smiled broadly and Boden knew immediately that he would not like a word that came out of his superior's mouth.
"I have two paramedics in serious condition at Lakeshore Medical. Could we possibly table this for further discussion later? After the blackout is resolved perhaps?" Boden desperately tried to delay the inevitable spanner in the engine works of his plan.
"No. As I understand it the first set of bouts are six days from now. Am I right Chief Boden?"
Boden nodded tightly, his eyes wary, feeling resigned to what would happen next.
"Good. Here's what you're not going to do Wallace..."
Boden tried not to grimace as Tiberg and Ridley outlined what exactly they were changing. He'd officially lost control of the whole thing. He hoped he could warn Antonio of the changes at least...
FINALLY. Oy Severide was really a pain. Thanks for reading!