A/N: Well, a new chapter! I drew a picture of how I see Lilith, but I'm not gonna put it up. (It looks terrible)

Besides from that I've just been killing time during the week by writing up chapters for this (and TD College Days. Fallen Angel I'm trying to make time for I'm just overworked with this right now)

Anyway... enough babbling! Thanks for the kind reviews and just for reading. I hope you're all staying safe and aren't bored in quarantine.

Till next time,

D.L.D

P.s. This is longggg, but not too long of course since it's a letter O_o

I also swear a lot for no apparent reason...so beware.

14th Year - Fuck High School

Hey mom,

It's been so long since your death and yet to everyone it seems like yesterday. I remember on my fourteenth birthday everyone was talking about how you'd be glad to know I'm not a bimbo or popular bitch who flaunts implants. I mean I'm still two years away from being sixteen, but they're right.

Like you, I'm a loner. I prefer to stick to the shadows and do my own thing. Fuck the masses, as I say. Sorry for my language, it's just I have a lot to get off my chest. Let me list it for you: high school, bitches, bullying and dicks always struggling to keep their pants on. I swear if one more guy gropes my ass I'm gonna floor him. I thought high school was meant for mature people.

So as you can see high school is just as you remembered it. It's full of egotistical teens all struggling to find acceptance. At least you got to skip some of it with Total Drama. I don't have that option. However dad was talking about how Chris contacted him about the next gen show. Apparently he's waiting for when we're sixteen to rope us all into the show. Sounds scary.

I've seen reruns of the shit he put you, dad and your friends through. I'm surprised you even lived to have me. Seriously.

If I ever get on that show, I'm gonna win or get eliminated first. Period. No-one is gonna get the last laugh over me.

Anyway, I'm veering off topic. I'm meant to be writing to catch you up with everything.

So...bullying first I guess. Bet you're not surprised that the bully's Chanel, Heather's daughter. Again. I swear this bitch lives to torment me.

Chanel always acts like she's better than me, talking about you and saying how I'm just a burden and stuff. How I don't deserve to have one parent, let along both. It doesn't help that she's backed up by Lindsay's daughter Rachel. Like her mom she's blonde, just a little darker, blue eyed and dumb as fuck. Her brother Jack is just a huge dick. He's the one who keeps trying to grope my ass all the time with her buddies. Skeezes. They need to understand I don't want to have sex with them and just want to get my studies done.

Plus I'm pretty sure dad would kill him if he found out about the ass-groping. He's pretty protective of me and it makes sense since I'm all he has left of you. I'm pretty much doing Jack a favor by not saying anything. Although Aaron has gotten in the middle of him and me before. It resulted in a fight and I apologised so much. He said it's fine and Ava confirmed the same, plus their parents were cool with it. I'm thankful for that.

Besides from guys who can't keep their pants on and the fake bitches, I'm doing pretty well. Grades are good and apart from my swearing issue I'm fine. I keep to my little circle of friends and they have my back. Though I do regret looking petite. It makes guys think they can take advantage of me because 'I can't fight back'. Douches.

Dad says I have your figure, small and slight but can pack a punch. Apparently you used to have the same problems with guys who couldn't say no. Something we have in common.

Oh, I almost forgot. I thought I should describe how I look since I don't trust putting a picture with this. There's creeps everywhere, trust me. My Algebra teacher's been seen flirting with Rachel, though he's like twenty years older. So I'll just say how I look.

I have long black hair, though I may cut it when I get older; I always tie a white ribbon with it, something I've done since I can remember; and usually wear teal, light grey and black. Two are your colours. ;)

I look similar to you with a few of dad's traits. I have his eye colour and nose but otherwise I look like you. I often wear black studs as well and a spiked bracelet and black choker. I like to mix and match my personality with yours and dad's. Speaking of him, I wear the same red converses! Same with you and the choker. I swear it's a genetic trait.

Ok, now this letter's getting really long. I guess I have more to talk about with you these days. I mean you've missed out on so much and now that I'm older I can tell you things without getting confused. But there's some things that are getting clearer as I get older. One of those things is dad's behaviour.

No, he's not abusing me or anything. That's just stupid. In fact he's grown soft after having to become a single parent. Trust me, he's way different from how Aunt Leshawna, Bridge and Courtney describe him.

It's just I've noticed he's more sad.

I don't know how to phrase it, it's just when I was little he wad fun and happy. We used to walk through the park each afternoon and play games, go bug hunting and maybe do other stuff. He told me about pranks he'd pulled with you and we'd fiddle with the car in the garage. We did some gardening (something I do as a hobby now) and I just had fun with him. He was just fun and happy.

But now I'm noticing the cracks in his act. He puts on a smile and is always up to do anything, but I can see he finds it hard to look at me now. I notice the way his eyes seem to lose their usual spark when something about you is mentioned. He usually goes quiet and fidgets when you come up in a conversation. Of course he'll laugh and reminisce with everyone, but I can see he's unhappy. I can even see it in my past happy memories.

I want to change that. I want him to be happy.

Hey, maybe I'm just being paranoid. You know? Teenage hormones messing with the brain. I - I hope so.

I may start writing to you to ask for advice. Annually of course so I don't interrupt your eternal rest. 'Eternal' that word has a deep meaning...

Well, I'd better stop writing. I hope you're ok and please help me on my quest to make dad happy.

Lilith