AN: Hi. I can't say I'm really back but treatment is going well so far and I've managed to write more than 200 words in a row about these characters. Therefore you deserve to read them. Thank you so much for your patience. For your enthusiasm. I actually bypassed all the seasons of Chicago Fire I haven't seen to watch this week's episode and I persist in believing the writers like to torture Severide. The friend who got me hooked on the show and therefore into writing this story said the episode must have given me ideas. And guess what. It did. It jumpstarted my brain enough to get this chapter done. Yay. Apologies in advance for any typos or confusion. Since it's been so long maybe read the last full chapter (36) before diving in. Neither of the pieces I gave you in 37 appear in this chapter. I'm fleshing out the fight scene with very little knowledge of boxing beyond my dad's obsession with it. I'm cobbling together an epilogue where some of the more beleaguered characters of this story have hope of a happy ending even if its not included in this story. As a reminder, I don't aim to be cruel to Casey, but it struck me while watching Season 1 that Dawson and Severide had more chemistry in their handful of scenes than Dawson and Casey. No one is inherently evil in this story, just flawed. Just human. Thanks as always xo, lily
Disclaimer: Property of Dick Wolf et al. Except Angie. Angie is all mine and will make at least one more appearance before the end.
Dawson was smiling at the three boxes stacked in one corner of her living room. It wasn't much really. Probably not even 1 percent of all of Severide's belongings. Some of his clothes were hanging in her closet, all the drawers were divvied up half and half until he got some of his furniture into her place. His running shoes, again, were tossed haphazardly next to her front door. It didn't make her mad. It couldn't. Well, it could and did sometimes because tripping over them was a hazard if she came in late one night and didn't know they were there. It all made her unspeakably happy nonetheless.
Because she wasn't going to be coming in late any night without him right by her side so the point was moot. Dawson wasn't allowed back on shift. Chief Boden had looked at her in the hospital bed and made it a mandatory three month break at least. Dawson had not protested. In fact, Dawson and Antonio had been lost for words when Chief Boden visited. He had paced her hospital room, a seething cat, still covered in soot. His dark skin glistened with exertion and tightly reined temper. It would have been funny except nothing could be when Boden was that angry. The siblings had given each other a glance full of confusion while Boden swallowed words and more words, his whole body slowly but surely quieting until he finally warned them that the brass had taken control of the boxing matches. Boden's face was grim and Antonio's was just as sour. More fighters meant more trouble. Meant there was no way to be sure Casey and Severide would even fight each other...
Dawson shook her head at what had transpired next. The impromptu strategy meeting between Antonio and Boden had been downright bizarre. Watching Boden and her brother make plans to basically rig the matchups was both horrifying and illuminating. Who knew these men could be so devious? Tryouts were delayed because CFD brass was meddling and Antonio swore that CPD would also become involved just to save face. So tryouts a week away were now going to be postponed at least a month if not more…Dawson went to flex her left hand and grimaced. Her finger bones were slow to heal as were her ribs. A daily reminder that for the moment she was slow and not at all steady. She glanced at the boxes again, a smile flittering across her face. She hadn't opened the boxes when they first arrived and she was a little curious to know what Severide trusted her with. It wasn't clothing or he'd have dropped it off in her bedroom. Their. Their bedroom she corrected herself. The unit it implied working through every limb her heart light as she shuffled over to the boxes, stacked like a pillar. Gingerly, she opened a flap on the first one.
"Knock! Knock!"
Bri glanced back to see Shay holding up a white paper bag that was definitely filled with pastries, and a very sheepish look etched into the lines of her face. It had been like this since the explosion. A full week had passed, Sev was making good on his promise to take care of her, but Shay helped too. Dawson waved her into the room with a sigh. She didn't really want to deal with Shay's guilt at the moment. She didn't have the energy to soothe her friend just then. Never mind that they still hadn't debriefed about her ultimatum at the bar or what Shay was going to do about Angie. Being out of work on medical leave sucked. Being down a hand meant she had barely cooked. The eardrum was a damn nuisance, leaking fluid, muffling sound. Boden was absolutely right to bar her from the firehouse until she got full medical clearance. It just left her stir-crazy and going mad and often spiralling emotionally since there was so little left that she could control at the moment. Dawson didn't want one more person to ask her how she was doing and still:
"So! How are you holding up?"
Dawson bit into a donut to stall for time. She didn't, really didn't, want to snap at Shay. Her partner was trying to make amends for all her prior bad behaviour. It wasn't Shay's fault that Dawson was drowning in a morass of boredom and garden variety depression because she couldn't do anything.
"Fine," she murmured after carefully swallowing the sweet treat. "and thanks for this. What brings you by?"
"Kel got stuck at the firehouse. He was worried when you didn't respond to his text so I offered to check-in."
Dawson had absolutely no idea where her phone was and no desire to look for it. Her mother had called three times over the last twenty-four hours alone. She wasn't picking up until she was cleared to drink alcohol. At the same time, Dawson couldn't help smiling to herself. As much as a grown man could smother his girlfriend, Sev did. He was the equivalent of a human sized teddy bear. She really couldn't complain. The only difference between the ways they took care of each other was she could cook. Dawson had started teaching Sev a couple of recipes so they didn't have takeout every night. The results of those lessons were a mixed bag of laughs and stomach indigestion. At least he could heat soup without issue. Dawson didn't have the heart to remind Sev she wasn't chicken noodle soup sick. The man loved her.
She was still wrapping her head around it really. Not that she didn't believe him. She did. All her fears had been for naught it turned out. When he said he'd loved her since January… she still couldn't quite grasp it. That level of devotion sitting right in front of her. How she'd thrown it away not once, but twice. Their mutual obliviousness about how deep they'd jumped so quickly. Just like she'd told him, they'd never discussed being exclusive. They just did it, without asking questions of each other. Such was the nature of their personalities, to be impulsive but implacably stubborn. Dawson loved Sev. Sev loved her.
"Hey. Where's your head?"
Dawson blinked back into the present with glazed sugar and cinnamon on her lips. Shay's eyes were wide with concern and she could already hear the words "concussion" and "syndrome" coming out of the tiny blonde's mouth.
"How's Angie?"
It was a cheap shot but Dawson felt a little defensive. A little vulnerable without full mobility as her body slowly healed. Dawson and Shay still hadn't discussed Severide's sudden move into her townhouse. They'd also never taken the time to decompress after Shay's breakup confession. Dawson knew that Angie had checked in after the explosion, like a decent human being, but it was by phone and Shay had been tongue-tied and nervous. Dawson, ever capable at giving advice she'd never follow, recommended a six month cooling off period before they attempted to be friends. Shay was less certain that they could be friends at all and had gently reminded Dawson that Firehouse 51's current clusterfuck was largely her fault.
Needless to say, the paramedics were still on shaky ground as friends, never mind their future work as partners. But Dawson was too tired to sugarcoat things. Not that she'd ever been inclined to mince words with the straight talking Shay. Shay had put their own friendship on the chopping block to keep her friendship with Severide the way she wanted it. That was still a bitter pill for Dawson to swallow. Dawson constantly got reminders she was second best and Shay's stung just as deep as Casey's maybe even more so. Some days she was okay with it. She understood the rationale. Other days it hurt deep down where her teenage self was still a wetback and a slut and dirty in all the ways society presumes a brown girl must be.
"Angie is fine. You're not. Talk to me Dawson"
"I can't…" she fumbled uneasily.
"Why not?" Shay pressed.
Dawson was known for her sharp tongue but she could and sometimes did rein it in. For all her impulsivity and rash behaviour, there was a thought process behind her actions and she paused now because it was Shay. She was a friend and she cared about Sev. Was Severide's only real family because she discounted Benny as nothing but a sperm donor. Dawson didn't want to lash out and yet.
"I don't trust you anymore. I don't trust that what you'll say is in my best interests "
"I said I was sorry"
"This isn't about being sorry and you know that"
"Dawson, I can't change what happened"
"I know that! But I also know you're here about Kelly more than you're here about me"
And that sucks. Dawson thought, but didn't say as she gave Shay a speaking glance. The blonde stuttered to reply. They both knew she was at least partially right. Dawson stifled a sigh as Shay reached for her donut and took a huge bite. She didn't mean to harp or dwell but it was hard not to when all she had was her thoughts to keep her company while everyone else was working. It was difficult not to feel even more inadequate as a person when her body's limits constrained her. She now had deeper insight into the hell that Sev must have felt while on bedrest after his fall. Dawson groaned silently. And Shay had taken the brunt of his bad moods… She glanced across at Shay,
"Wanna watch re-runs of The Bachelor and mock the contestants?"
Shay gave her a small smile.
"Sure"
Dawson slid further down her couch with a grimace to grab the remote while Shay wandered off into the kitchen to make popcorn and grab sodas. Baby steps. It would be all baby steps and small gestures until they got back to normal. And they would be normal. All of them. Dawson clutched the remote tight as she heard Shay curse at the state of her kitchen. Anything less was unacceptable.
ʘ
Boden blinked at Severide who glanced at Mills who glared at Boden as he shut the door and closed the shades so Connie couldn't see into the office window. The chief stomped over to his desk and sat down while Severide and Mills remained standing. No one was pleased to be in the room, post shift when everyone was tired and ready for bed.
"Lieutenant Severide, I need you to help Probie Mills understand why a transfer is not in his best interests at this stage in his firefighting career"
Boden's voice boomed, his whole face tight like he was trying not to explode with rage at the younger man. Mills for his part, did not look the least bit bothered by the battalion chief's anger while Severide was just plain confused about his role in the entire conversation. Since when was he the go-to guy for morale speeches? For as long as he could remember, he was always one lecture or reprimand away from being hauled before a disciplinary committee. He got scolded for poaching firefighters to Squad. For having sex in the firehouse. For smoking cigars indoors.
Severide took a long minute counting the different examples of bad behaviour he'd committed in the last six minutes and then realised he could only count three since he'd started dating Bri. His shoulders relaxed. He glanced at Boden, his boss, his surrogate father figure and looked back at Peter who he knew wanted to be on Squad so badly.
"What, did Casey scare you off?" he joked weakly.
Mills half-smiled at Severide before his face went cold and stoic. He swallowed and pointedly ignored Boden's glare before responding.
"He didn't help matters but me transferring is about a lot more than Casey's bad moods…"
Severide decided to play dumb about Chief Boden's history with Mills' mom. Partially because it was none of his business and Bri had only told him so he could understand her breakup with Mills. Partially because it didn't mean a damn thing to him since, selfishly, he still wanted the kid on Squad and not just to spite his own father.
"I wasn't lying when I said you have what it takes to make Squad Mills. You know that right?"
"Yes, but 51 is a disaster right now and I don't want-"
Mills cut himself off when he saw Boden lean closer to listen. A veiled look of distaste washed over his face as he peered at Chief and Severide could have groaned at all the youthful pride he recognised in the probie's gaze. He'd been there once not so long ago. He cleared his throat and continued
"Okay. Brass tacks. What's the problem? Because I guarantee you transferring isn't gonna fix it"
"Then why are you planning to leave?" Mills retorted.
Severide turned to face Boden sitting behind the desk.
"Is that what this is about? You put him up to this?" he asked, more annoyed than ever.
"No. Candidate Mills is quite serious about his desire to transfer. I need you to explain to him why doing so is about the stupidest thing he can do to hurt his career. I thought you might shed some light"
Severide heard the chief's sarcasm and sat down. This was going to take awhile and his knees were aching. He pointed at Mills to do the same and then lifted his arms in a helpless gesture.
"What do you want me to do Chief? Mills knows he'll get a reputation for being difficult to work with if he does this and he doesn't care. Why should we stop him?"
It was lost on no one that Severide was speaking about himself now and each man felt the shift in conversation keenly. Mills looked down at his hands, fumbling with his fingers, a scowl twisting his features to sour. Boden's jaw tightened, his fingers steepled in front of him as he pretended to consider Severide's question. Severide stared right back, exasperated and incredulous that Boden picked him for Mills' pep talk. The kid could make up his own damn mind about his life. Each firehouse was a family, he would find his way.
"Because he is not replaceable and neither are you. Neither was Andy"
Severide hissed a breath and shook his head at Boden.
"Low blow Chief. Really low. I can't -"
"Severide," Boden cut in sharply. "I am not in the business of sugarcoating shit. You belong here. So does Mills. I need you both to get your heads out of your asses right now and listen to me".
Mills snorted and Severide turned his head to glare at the insubordinate probie while Boden closed his eyes like he was praying for patience. A long shift was over and everyone wanted to go home. Needed to go home badly. Severide was nervous. He still hadn't heard from Bri and his phone was silent in his pocket.
"I have made mistakes," Boden admitted reluctantly. " I will continue to make mistakes but I don't fight for people I don't believe in. Life is too short and our jobs are too dangerous for me to hold the hand of any man who doesn't pass muster. And I know what each of you can do!"
Boden glanced at Mills first, and Severide watched closely while his chief seemed to swallow and swallow words before he took a breath to speak.
"I broke a promise to your mother Mills. She knows it. I know it. And you don't know the half of it. It was twenty years ago. Let it go. I had to. The job came first. It had to come first and we both know your mother's opinion about your career path. If you truly want to be a firefighter, you need to understand that a part of your mother died in that fire and a part of me died too."
Severide watched Mills shift uncomfortably in his chair. Boden wasn't one to give long-winded speeches or to betray emotions or feelings. That he was doing so now seemed crazy but it had been a long week and Firehouse 51 was short a paramedic and running on a very short fuse into the bargain. Mills cleared his throat to speak but Boden cut him off.
"Enough. You think I push you out of guilt and maybe just maybe that's part of it. I don't know Mills. What I do know is you are a smart and driven candidate and you remind me very much of the stubborn bastard sitting next to you. Never mind your own father. I think you have what it takes to succeed here at 51. I repeat. I do not waste time on handholding"
Boden held the younger man's gaze before shaking his head and turning away in disgust.
"Dismissed."
Severide made to stand but was pierced by Boden's gaze and sat back down while Mills nodded and walked out. Of course it wouldn't be that easy. How many times had he sat in the exact same chair and waited for the chief to ream him out? Countless times. He'd never been a model firefighter. He drank too much when he was sad and smoked when he was angry. That opioid dependency had really scared him when he thought about it. Boden still didn't know all of the particulars. Would never know if he could help it. Severide tried not to fidget while Boden stared at the closed door, his whole face drawn and far too close to shattered for Severide's comfort.
"Sir," he nudged gently.
"Are you sticking around Severide? Or are you quitting?"
Boden asked this quietly. So softly in fact, that Severide felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise as a chill swept down his spine. He waited until Boden's attention was focused squarely on him. Waited until his mentor worked up a scowl into the quiet when he didn't respond.
"Casey questions my calls at every job Chief. That's not sustainable. It's hurting the house"
"He'll get over it. It might take years but eventually the anger simmers. You move on. And then it's only when someone picks at the scab that you'll remember the rage. The hurt. All the wasted emotion."
Severide paused before replying. It was evident that Boden was talking about his own past and not the current standoff between his lieutenants. It was awkward but Severide pressed forward, determined to make his mentor understand why he thought it was a viable solution even if it did disrupt the fragile equilibrium of Firehouse 51.
"With all due respect sir, the firehouse will implode first. And it doesn't matter if it happens on a job or not, the safety of everyone in this house would be in jeopardy as a result. I know what you and Dawson are planning and I'll play along but if it doesn't work…"
"Hmmm. How is Dawson doing? Healing okay?"
While he could admit the depth of his feeling to her, Severide was slightly more cagey with anyone else who broached Dawson as a topic of conversation. Part of that was his innate protectiveness. Once you became family, Severide never let you go, like Shay. Like the members of Squad 3. Severide could be a bullheaded fool for the people he loved but he accepted the shift in conversation because he didn't want to argue with Boden anymore. Whatever happened, he would be fine as long as Dawson was alright with their direction. He smiled.
"She's going stir-crazy. Not that I blame her. The ribs are healing slowly but I told her to expect that. Her memory seems to be okay. It's only been a week though. She's pushing too hard."
"Ha. Remind you of anyone?" Boden inquired with a wry smile.
Severide flat out grinned. "Yeah. I don't care. I'm pretty sure I can handle her"
"Don't be so sure. A woman can leave you twisting in the wind faster than a fire sometimes".
Severide nodded. His own past gave him enough experience with that particular feeling. Some days he was surprised he was even trying again. Especially when Dawson had shut him out those couple times. But he'd understood her logic because it mirrored his own in so many ways. They had both put Shay first for a while. Made themselves miserable. Pretended their own feelings didn't matter. He couldn't go back to that. Not now. And he knew that Dawson didn't want to leave Firehouse 51. Severide sighed inwardly.
"I haven't made any firm plans either way on leaving. I was thinking I'd teach some courses at the academy. Take a break from active duty to look after Dawson. Give Casey space."
"Does Dawson know about this?"
"Not yet but it's a temporary solution at least"
"Hmm"
Severide didn't know how many conversations with Boden had ended with that short syllable. He just knew that chief wasn't going to make anything about this easy and he felt too tired to protest. He was hot, late August had shown no signs of impending autumn and sweat was drying under his collar in a film that he really wanted to shower off before going home to Dawson. It didn't matter that he was still paying rent at his and Shay's place. He'd spent every night but the ones at the firehouse sleeping next to Dawson and he wanted to be in that bed right now. Home. He blinked and looked up at Boden when the chief cleared his throat.
"Kelly, I don't know why you persist in thinking you're expendable but I need you to stop. Your men. Your squad was rudderless without you to guide them when you were in the hospital. The relief lieutenant was outed and now rides a desk. If you are serious about taking time off to care for Dawson, you'll have to file your relationship with HR, do FMLA and a whole bunch of acronyms I don't have patience for. Are you ready?"
Severide gazed directly into Boden's eyes. There was real concern for him, he knew that. This wasn't about the chief not wanting to lose any more staff than he already had. Boden was like a father to him. Had taken one look at him as a candidate and made a decision to teach him that Severide still wondered at sometimes. Was he ready?
"No. I'm not but she is worth all the trouble so it doesn't matter if I'm ready. She matters more"
Boden's smile was tight as he shook his head and leaned back in his chair.
"You are a stronger and braver man than I was Kelly. Let me know when you need to file the paperwork"
Severide watched his chief retreat behind his own files, his own paperwork, alone and quiet while he stood up. It occurred to him that he was faced with the same dilemma Boden had gone through many years before with Mills' mother. He was choosing the woman over the job. The job that defined him. The job that he refused to abandon for Spain with Renee. This job that was in his blood.
"Chief…do you regret it?"
Boden didn't even look up to reply. Just sighed and burrowed further into his notes and Severide, keenly aware of how much he'd overstepped by asking, did not press further. With a quick nod, he exited the office unaware that Boden glanced up as he left, watched as he walked all the way down the hallway, his mouth twisted, teeth clenched in his lower lip to keep all the words in.
ʘ
By noon, Casey had fixed every loose cupboard in his place and cleaned up besides. He wasn't tired. Not really. It wasn't too crazy a shift for watch 2 so he'd been able to sleep a bit and now he was waiting and doing. Waiting for Gabi's response to his long wall of text. Doing everything he could not to go mad while waiting. She would say something. This was Gabi. Granted, it had been a week. She was injured. The thought made his stomach churn. He had waited too long. He knew that now but he also knew Severide and how he blew through women intent on never settling down. They were both too impulsive by half and the thought of Gabi being embarrassed or hurt by Severide was enough to stir his ire. Better to upset her now than be quiet about everything he'd held in for so long it'd made him sick just looking at her with Severide. At least she had all the facts now. He had nothing to regret. If she still wanted to be with Severide after everything he'd said… so be it. He'd just thrash the squad lieutenant in the ring and make him promise to treat her right.
Who was he kidding? He would not be okay if she continued to date Kelly after his confession. It was too late now regardless. Just like you don't sleep the widow of a fallen firefighter. You don't sleep with a coworker's ex. He couldn't claim to be friends with Kelly at the moment. And truthfully, he was willing to make an exception because it was Gabi but he was so fucking pissed. Couldn't help how fucking angry he was that Gabi had slept with the squad lieutenant and removed them as a possibility into the bargain. He didn't like the idea of being compared to Kelly in bed. He still wanted to know when it started. If it was his fault for hesitating at her cousin's holiday party in December. If it had been planned… well he think he knew the answer to that at least. There was no way Gabi had planned to sleep with Kelly no matter what had happened later. He remained convinced that Kelly had charmed her somehow. He'd seen Kelly in action at the bars. How he didn't even have to say he was a firefighter to woo women into his bed for a couple hours sometimes.
Screw it. He was calling her. Casey wanted to check in anyway. Antonio had barred him at the hospital and after last time, he didn't want to show up at her place unannounced to be rejected at the door. Which was a distinct possibility now, given his comments on her relationship? Casey speed dialled Gabi's cellphone. Listened while it rang and rang and—
"Casey?"
"Shay? Why are you answering Gabi's phone?"
"She didn't know where it was. I heard it ring and since I'm more mobile-"
"Can I talk to her? Please?"
He listened while Shay shuffled through Gabi's townhouse. He couldn't hear her speak so he knew she was probably making faces to let Gabi know it was him. That girl code he'd seen once or twice or really a hundred times at the firehouse when either paramedic got an awkward call. It was kind of depressing to think of himself as one of the many who belonged on that list for Gabriella Dawson.
"Hullo?" Casey felt himself go warm just hearing her voice. It was soft and cautious. Like she was bracing for him to say something bad. And he knew he'd given her a reason to think that but at the end of the day, he cared about Gabi. All of this. His anger and denial was wrapped up in not wanting to see her hurt by Severide. He truly couldn't bear the thought and his heart hurt for all the injuries she'd sustained in the explosion. All he and the other men of Truck got were minor scratches because of their gear, while she and Shay ended up in hospital.
"Hey Gabi. Just calling to check in. How are you feeling?"
"Uh. Sore. My ear still hurts a lot but the doctors think it might heal on its own which is good."
"Good. That's just great. Look I…"
"Casey, whatever you're about to say. Can it wait? Til I'm better?"
Waiting was what he'd made her do for years so Casey swallowed the immediate protest that rose from the centre of his being. If his anxiety now was anything like what she'd experienced he was well and truly contrite for all of it.
"Sure. Do you need anything?"
It was a loaded question. He knew this. She knew this. She wanted him to accept her with Severide and he couldn't. He just could not. Her sigh trickled into his ear and he could hear the pain she tried to hide in the sound. He was surprised she was being so calm with him but figured she was too tired.
"No Casey, I'll be fine. Thank you for calling. Really. It means a lot."
"Are we okay Gabi?" Casey blurted it out without meaning to. He was listening to her, he could swear that he was but her tone; how it gentled as though to soften a blow. How it went quiet because he asked her what she needed and it was one the thing he could not give. It was like nothing he'd ever heard before with her.
"Casey…i promise you. We'll get there. Okay?"
He wanted to say more. To push but he could hear how tired she was. It wasn't fair to pursue her when she wasn't well.
"Okay. Take care of yourself."
"You too. Bye."
She hung up before he could respond and Casey felt a sharp sense of dread even as he felt weightless. Gabi wasn't ignoring him. She could have told Shay she was too tired to talk. She could have hung up. At the same time, she didn't want to talk to him. Not really, she was too polite to refuse him outright. To have Shay dismiss him. But by the same token, she was reluctant to address everything he'd confessed, which was fair. She was one week into a painful recovery. He didn't blame her in the least for needing time. He just wanted more. Wanted things to be stable and secure. He was uncertain about her and that needled at a part of him, at a chink in his defence she'd always been able to crack. God. He did love her after all. They had to be okay.
ʘ
Antonio didn't particularly like being pulled into the captain's office but he could deal. It had been a crap week or so since the explosion. Power still hadn't been fully restored in West Town. Which was a problem in more ways than people might expect, like people getting sick from heat exhaustion without air-conditioning. It wasn't his department. He was a detective after all. But the police officers who worked a beat were overwhelmed and late summer wasn't cooling off like it usually did. Climate change, people said. Whatever. Tempers were a tad bit frayed not least of all, his. Gabi's injuries, his mother's incessant calls and plans to visit. It was Friday and the whole week, he'd been fending off questions left and right about the CFD boxing tryouts. How he'd helped to plan them and was wrangling some cops to make it believable. How, of course, there would be offside betting on the winners. You couldn't have a boxing match or two without some betting!
The ex-boxer glanced at his superior, his face calm. He knew he wasn't actually in trouble. There was nothing illegal about a firehouse setting up some tryouts to get a feel for what the Battle of the Badges would look like come spring. There was absolutely nothing wrong with him setting up some spars so his fellow cops could see what their opponents could handle. This, him sitting across from his captain like a kid in front of the principal, it was all politics. And like most Dawsons, Antonio did not have a flair for the political.
"What am I gonna do with you Dawson?"
"Sir?"
"The brass has been roped into this tourney to save face with CFD and you're at the centre of the debacle. What am I supposed to do with you? You're smart Senior Detective Dawson but you sure act like a dumb jock sometimes."
Antonio stifled a smirk as he watched his boss loosen his tie knot. Vice was not a department that got a lot of attention. Not unless a politician turned up as a john. His captain was sweating bullets, probably from the lecture he'd received and was supposed to give him as well.
"Voight burned a lot of bridges with CFD when he attempted to blackmail Lieutenant Casey, sir. Like it or not we have to work with the fire jumpers once in a while. We can't do that with bad blood"
That was the official line he and Boden had worked out for why the tryouts were happening. It was all absurd really. If he wasn't sitting in the hot seat, Antonio would have laughed at how much drama had cascaded from attempting to fix Gabi's boy trouble. He was going to tease her about this shit for years. All this to get two firefighters to punch their way out of their own animosity. All this so Severide stayed at Firehouse 51 when he let Casey win. And Antonio knew the squad lieutenant would let Casey win. He loved Gabi enough to not hurt her friend. Poor bastard, he couldn't imagine being on the receiving end of Gabi's mercurial moods at the moment.
"Voight's too well-connected to stay in prison long. Trust me. A tourney is not going to solve anything when he gets out."
Antonio shrugged. "I like Casey. He's a boy scout who had a bad run-in with CPD and that's just bad form. He's gonna be a leader in CFD one day and he's going to remember how he was treated. Why not try to minimise the blowback?"
The man got too many commendations not to be noticed by CFD brass eventually. Even if the whole tourney business was just a ruse to get Casey to fight and forget his misgivings about Severide, Casey was going to be drummed out of fire suppression and into an office at some point. He'd never get too high because Antonio couldn't imagine him playing into the politics of it all but his was a face that CFD could use and they would do so mercilessly. Antonio listened while his captain bitched and moaned until eventually:
"Train the men. Volunteers only. I know you're an ex-boxer but for god's sake do not enter the ring Detective Dawson. Everyone knows you're a weapon with your bare hands. I'll smooth things over with the brass. Say we'll put on a good show. Donate proceeds to charity. Something, I dunno!"
Antonio finally grinned. For all the drama Gabi had caused, at least he had something to look forward to out of all of it.
ʘ
It was late afternoon, the sunlight streaming through her living room windows when Dawson woke with a gasp. She looked down to see Sev on his knees, her thighs on his shoulders while he kissed and sucked and ignored her quivering, sleepy protest with a no groaned against her clit. He was naked, his skin bronzed by the light, dark hair gleaming wet. She realised he had come home and showered and watched her sleep and then decided to wake her up in the most evil way possible. She went to run her hands through his hair and moaned when her left hand flinched in pain.
"Baby?" His wide blue eyes darkened as he pulled back to see her lip clenched between her teeth in a grimace. "Baby I'm sorry. I'll stop. You just…" Dawson didn't need him to say anything more as his breath puffed out on a long deep exhale against her inner thighs. He'd needed to touch her. Sometimes twenty-four hours was too long without touch. She got that. He was still tentative because of her injuries. They hadn't had sex since the explosion. First it was because of her head, then it was her ribs. If she needed any more proof of his love, it was in how he'd restrained himself. How he'd cuddled and swaddled her in layers of blankets literally, despite the summer heat. How he'd gone over every bruise with ice and arnica and wrapped her ribs, and kissed the large blooms of bruised black on her cheek and jaw like she was glass until she'd melted against him.
Dawson traced the creases in his forehead with her index finger, while Sev sat naked and frozen on her floor. It couldn't be real but it was and so,
"Take me to bed Sev,"
"Bri baby, you're hurt…"
"Are you saying, you can't be gentle? Really?" She teased softly. "Can't carry me upstairs?"
It was a challenge. She'd never stop challenging him if she could help it and the smile that creeped its way across Sev's face was the best response she could hope for as he slowly leaned in to kiss her. Dawson closed her eyes and leaned in as well.
"I love you" he whispered right against her lips before delving into the kiss like he was starved. Like it had been thirty hours since the last one as he picked her up, one arm braced around her back to spare her ribs, the other gripping her thigh as she wrapped them around his waist. She broke the kiss to snuggle deeper into his embrace as he slowly navigated past the kitchen, proving how gentle he already was. Dawson kissed his neck when he stubbed his toe on a shoe and laughed as he bit back a curse.
Love you too she thought as he took the stairs. Love you. Love you. Love you as he laid her down on her left side and kissed her back from the bottom of her spine to her nape through her tank top, as he hugged her from behind, his lips balanced on her bruised shoulder, softly touching. Love as he thrust in short sweet stabs when she needed more, his right hand clasping hers over her thundering heartbeat. Love when he began to tremble, her own need trebling with the force of his restraint. When he thumbed her clit to slow rolling spasms as she bit her lip to swallow the screams. When he finally finally plundered deep and she felt the wet jerk of cum and her voice hollered out of her. Love. Oh God. Yes. Love.
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