'With your gracious consent, sire, I have decided to accept your most generous offer; I wish to sail to the Undying Lands.' Parvon dared not meet the king's eye. 'Thus I wanted to take the earliest opportunity of tendering my resignation and…'

'Parvon…' Thranduil interrupted, his voice languorous but with an edge of ice somewhere that boded potential ill. 'I retract my previous comments; if this is an attempt at humour, it is not at all amusing.'

'Indeed, sire, I am quite serious; I wish to accept your offer.'

'It was not so much an offer, as a threat.'

'At the time, my lord king, I thought so, too. But now it seems otherwise to me.'

The king snapped his fingers.

'Explain,' he demanded.

Parvon shuddered in a breath. He had expected this to be difficult, but had hoped he could get through it swiftly, present his resignation and then go and begin the task of packing up his life, this time forever. Hard as it had been to come to the decision, to explain it in terms the king would accept demanded nothing less than the truth, stark and painful though it might be.

Still he temporised.

'I have spent so much time arranging the journey for other elves, I have heard their reasons and their hopes and expectations, and…'

'You would never decide to sail for so banal a reason, Parvon. You are not a follower of others, you are one to guide the course of entire communities. Try again.'

'I have recently made a friend who intends to sail and…'

'The charming Thindorion? Yes, I have watched your friendship develop and have also noted that you, Parvon, are a one-hearted elf, and the master dyer is not the elf of your heart. If you hope to persuade me to release you, you will have to do better than that.'

…If he were not permitted to sail, he could just simply fade, shut himself away in his small rooms and turn to the wall, sigh out his loneliness and allow Lord Námo to take him home… who would miss him, really?

'I miss my brother,' he blurted out, startled that tears scratched at his eyes for release. 'My family sailed to wait for him in Valinor, and I have no kin here now. My only friends are settled far from me, or are sailing; there is nobody here about whom I care and who cares in return. My home is denied me, my work is gone. There is no place here for me…'

'Parvon.'

Thranduil rose from his throne and descended the steps, crossing to a table which held a decanter of Dorwinion and two glasses. He poured out two glasses, gestured to Parvon to take one. Parvon shook his head; this was not how the king behaved, this was… unprecedented…

'Parvon, take a drink. Steady yourself, and hear me. If it is simply your job, I do not know what more you could wish for; you have your old position back, I am bringing Faerveren home to help you, and believe me, nothing would give me greater pleasure than to have something of the old ways of doing things back, what more can I do…?'

'I do not want Master Melion's job, sire, I never have. Leading the King's Office here is not… it is not my old job; I was only ever standing in for Arveldir until someone else took over; it is the New Palace that I mean when I say I want my old job back, there is my real place. But I cannot have it; it no longer exists and so, in a very real sense, neither do I. I gave myself to the venture and I feel a part of me is still there…'

'Parvon, if this is some sort of ultimatum, if you hope to persuade me to let you go back to the New Palace rather than lose you to Valinor, it is no good…'

'Your majesty, I would not demean either of us by attempting anything so crass as to attempt to bargain with you. You have made your wishes quite clear on multiple occasions, and it is only left to me to obey…'

'I am glad you understand the situation.'

'Sire, it had been my hope that a life of duty and service would be enough; you are my king, you have always striven to protect your elves and allowed a degree of licence to your subjects that not many would recognise or appreciate, but... a life of service is no longer enough. It has not been enough for a very long time, in truth, but I had not acknowledged it, I had thought that perhaps…' Parvon broke off, glad of the wine glass in his hand. He sipped. 'Forgive me, my lord king. It has been an honour to serve such a great leader and ruler, but I am no longer able to function in my role as well as you deserve. Let me go, please. Nothing good will come of requiring me to remain.'

The smallest of frowns drifted across Thranduil's brow. His silence was lengthy, considered. He stared into the depths of his Dorwinion, took a mouthful, set the glass down.

'There seems to be little answer to such impassioned pleading,' the king said, turning his back to allow Parvon a few second's privacy before he faced him once again. 'Other than to say, on the whole, you have served me well. Of course, you learned from Arveldir, an undoubted master of his craft, but you have continued to develop procedures as the needs of the kingdom changed; I hardly know what I will do without you... Yet in the face of such despair, it would be cruel to insist you stay to be made increasingly unhappy. But no, Parvon, I will not accept your resignation.'

Parvon hitched in a gasp of breath, would have spoken, but Thranduil signalled him to silence.

'Instead, I command you to act as formal escort to the Starlight Gemstone and to accompany the travellers to their ship. You will keep records of any significant events, and on reaching Ithilien, you will look at the colony and consider carefully whether it is the entire world you wish to leave behind, or only Erin Lasgalen and a few choice individuals. Prince Legolas needs an advisor who is able to deal with humans as well as elves, and I think you would be the ideal elf to support and assist him. I am loath to free you from my service, but if my son were to benefit from your talents, I think I could rest easy. To this end, I will send a letter with you authorising Legolas to accept your resignation on my behalf, so that if you arrive and find yourself still determined to sail, you may. If you do make your way to the Undying Lands, I hope you find what you seek there.'

Parvon exhaled, unaware he'd been holding his breath until the king finished speaking.

'I am grateful, sire. It has been an honour to serve.'

'Very well. You may go, and attend to your business. You will need to let your associates in the King's Office know of your new appointment and, please, Master Parvon, whatever arrangements you make before you depart, I will not have Baudh or Merenor presiding over the breakfast meetings; they are altogether too smiling for early mornings.'

'Of course, sire. If I may suggest, there is no need to recall Master Melion; Master Faerveren will be an admirable Elf-in-Charge one day; I taught him Arveldir's systems and he has the benefit of recent experience in exceptionally difficult conditions. He will need another to serve with him to begin, I suggest Master Hanben, who would also be a good choice for the breakfast meetings…'

'Yes, indeed, but we need not have them every day, after all. And now, off with you, Parvon. Send in the next supplicant.'

Relief.

That was the overwhelming feeling now, drowning out the despair and the agony of loneliness and lost love, simple relief to have something to do that would not tie him to this pain forever… at least, he hoped that was the case.

He'd find out, he really would…

'Parvon?'

About to walk straight past Merlinith, he recollected himself and paused.

'His majesty is ready for the next supplicant, Mistress Merlinith.'

'Yes, but, Parvon…' She leaned in close and whispered in his ear, her hand on his arm. 'You're crying.'

'Really?' Parvon lifted his fingers and touched his cheek; yes, he could, indeed, feel tears on his face. 'So I am! How very odd of me. Well, my thanks for permitting me to see his majesty so promptly. I will speak to you later, in the King's Office. There will be a formal meeting of all staff as soon as everyone is free. Before I need to leave for archery practice, I hope.'

'Parvon, you cannot simply go without saying…'

But he did.

As soon as he was alone in the corridor, he wiped his face, took a breath, and considered his options. Yes, he needed to tell his colleagues, he needed to pack, but first…

First, he needed to talk to a friend.

Hurrying to Thindorion's rooms, he knocked on the door, finding himself impatient as he waited. Where would Thindo be, if not here? The workrooms associated with his business? Well, they were not far, he could try there next…

But finally the door opened and Thindorion shook his head and rubbed his hair; he was dressed, but otherwise looked as if he'd yet to prepare for the day.

'Is it that time already? Parvon, I'm not going to practice today, I thought I'd said… Oh. Are you well, Parvon? You look a little… well…'

'Could I come in? There is something I need to tell you…'

'All right. No, wait; Naru stayed over, and you look like you need a private conversation.'

'I'm sorry; I don't want to interrupt your day, I won't take up much of…'

'Told you yesterday, did I not? Anytime you want to talk, anything you need to say… Follow me.' Thindorion led the way to a small room on the next corridor; it smelled pleasantly of leather and linen. 'Summer store room; it gets a little damp in winter, so presently it's empty… what's up? Sit down, there's a ledge…'

There was indeed a ledge cut in the stone wall, wide enough to sit. Parvon sank onto the seat and found himself at a loss.

'I… don't know how to start, if I say… no. Most importantly, I have news, and I want you to hear it from me and not as a bit of gossip…'

'Oh. What have you been up to, do I want to know?'

'…and it's important you know why, as well, only I don't even know myself but…' Parvon broke off to breathe. 'I'm sailing, Thindo. I'm coming with you.'

'Did I just hear you aright? For a moment I thought you said you were sailing…'

'Yes, that's it. I am, I've just come from the king, I have official permission, although he wants me to reconsider when I get to Ithilien. And I don't want you to misunderstand, I'm not doing it because you are, but at the same time, knowing I have a friend in the company is most reassuring. Only I fear people might misread it and cause unpleasantness…'

Thindorion laughed.

'How will we know, if we are not here to hear the gossip? But… what's brought this on? You've been so steadfast against sailing…'

'There are several factors. I miss my brother terribly. I miss my work in the New Palace and I have outgrown my place here… I cannot adapt to the new ways, and I doubt the old ways of doing things will be enough, now. But mostly, it's… personal.'

'Personal?'

'You know how it is with me and… Triwathon. I… it was all right, it really was, I thought I could adapt, and… I had. But he's… he's had a terrible time of things, and I think he's found someone who he could make a life with.'

'Really? Triw?'

Parvon nodded.

'I sometimes feel what he feels and… yesterday, it seems to have changed for him. There is nothing else I can think it might be, it is different from everything I've felt from him before, this is… yesterday he was in so much pain, but there is another emotion there, the sort of… of love that lasts; I am sure it is Melpomaen, he is a kind and gentle individual, they have so much in common, and Mel is a healer, he would know how to offer comfort without it seeming wrong… and I know Triw makes friends easily, they would be good together… in any case, I cannot go on like this, with another elf's emotions burning my heart all the time…'

'And it will be better in Valinor because…?'

'Because in the Undying Lands is healing and surcease from pain and grief. Because Triwathon will never sail, so if I am there, I will never have to see him marry and present his beloved to me for approval. Because I have lived with this for too long, and I realise I cannot keep doing it and not suffer.'

'I see. Parvon, it seems to me you've been suffering for long enough already.'

'Mostly, I think I was so used to it that I no longer noticed. But I wouldn't want there to be misunderstanding between us; I hope we have established the nature of our friendship, Thindo, the fact that we happen to be on the road together will not change that.'

'Of course. And if I were to decide not to sail, after all?'

'Then your friend Naru will be delighted, and I will gladly carry any messages across the sea on your behalf. I am set, now, on this course. I remember you asked me once what might make me consider taking ship, and I did not answer. Now, however, I do not know what there is that might make me consider staying, after all.'

'Who knows about this? I mean, I wouldn't want to let any secrets out…'

'The king, you, and I. No doubt his majesty will confide in Healer Nestoril. I will need to tell my associates, but… and there it is difficult. The king's permission is granted conditionally; officially, I am now appointed Guardian of the Starlight Gemstone on its journey to Ithilien, and so my wider intentions are kept private. But the people in the King's Office are my friends; they deserve to know the truth…'

'Well, yes. If you want the entire palace and beyond to know your business, go ahead; tell Baudh…!'

'It is a fair point. Also, too, there is Faerveren on the way; he is expecting to work with me, I will need to explain, and better to tell everyone at the same time, perhaps… keep to the official version until the morning we leave, and then explain to my friends. Yes, that will be easier, I think, and better.' Parvon dipped down his head, staring at the floor. 'I seem to remember you asked if I might be able to be ready for such a life-changing journey in two weeks, and I said I could be ready in two days… we shall see, I think, whether I was right!'

He rose to his feet, a new sense of strength filling him. He smiled, the first free smile he had felt in weeks,

'Thindo, thank you for listening! You are a kind friend, and I feel easier for confiding in you! Well, I suddenly have more to do than I expected… you will not be at archery practice?'

'You're welcome. And archery? Not today, no. And what need? You can shoot well enough for both of us. Meet you at supper?'

'Yes, supper. First sitting. Oh, and tomorrow night, the king's attending, wants to feast those sailing at the top table… this means you, Thindo, and he's said I'm to sit with you for once. If you don't mind… and no doubt he'll use it as a chance to make an announcement about my new duties… enjoy your day.'

'Thank you for making time for this meeting; I know we are currently busier than usual.'

Parvon spread his hands in a gesture of welcome, trying for an ease of manner he was far from feeling. Now it came to it, telling the King's Elves this latest development was harder than he had anticipated. He looked over the room, saw Merlinith nudge Araspen and Baudh give a flash of a smile…

'It is simply that on top of all the expected changes, another. His majesty has charged me to accompany the Starlight Gemstone on its travels… which means I will not be here to lead the King's Office with Master Faerveren, when he returns. It is anticipated that Master Hanben will serve as Joint-Elf-in-Charge in my stead, until Faerveren is settled in the role. Master Hanben will be invited to attend the breakfast meetings, too, although I ought to make it known his majesty is already using my forthcoming departure as an excuse not to hold the meetings daily…'

'You're not serious, Master Parvon?' Merlinith asked.

'Indeed, he made a point of saying daily…'

'No, about you. You. After all this, getting your old job back, and now you're letting the king send you off again? It's no wonder you were cry… you were unsettled after you saw him…!'

'Mistress Merlinith, I assure you, I neither wanted nor expected to be in charge here; and I am quite willing to take the stone. Now, it will be important that Masters Baudh and Oldor are up to date with the resettlement programme and such matters to do with the sailing elves as I am unable to…'

'Yes, but Master Parvon, what about your friends in the New Palace? Do they know of this?'

'Why would they? How could they? In fact, our King's Elves will be here before I leave, and will be apprised then of the…'

'Well, who does know?'

'Those whom it concerns, Mistress Merlinith, and I would appreciate your discretion on the subject. That is all, everybody. If I am wanted, I shall be at archery practice and then I will take the day-meal before returning here. Thank you for your time.'