Hi all,
Sorry for any mistakes with grammar and if there's some discontinuity in the story I am not that proficient a story writer, math's really more my thing. I am an engineering major but couldn't help write this after not being able to find anything like it. I enjoyed writing this story so far and figured I'd share it.
please review this story if you feel comfortable doing so.
-Byher
Bella's point of view
I need to remind myself that it was real, my angel existed. For that reason, I am in my truck midday driving up to the base of the trail that leads to our meadow, Edwards meadow. He may have done as he had promised and disappeared without a trace to live his life without me, but it has become blaringly obvious I can't live mine without him. I have to have him some way or another, and if it can not be in actuality, then it will be in memory. I must keep his memory from fading into noting but a hazy anecdote on my life.
I have a burning desire to find the meadow nestled in trees he brought me to all those months ago and revive the memory of him and me there together. I yearn to see that peaceful field teeming with life. I need to feel the grass we laid in together and smell the flowers that scented the air once more. If I do then maybe I can solidify Edward in my mind and make him more real to me. I know I am pathetic for chasing the memory of a man that does not love me anymore but the alternative is unbearable, the alternative is letting Edward go and fade into oblivion. Or perhaps it's me that will fade away, I am certain I can not exist in this world without him.
Seeing the base of the mountain up ahead I pull my truck over into the gravel that lines the sides of the road. I turn the engine off and wipe the tears I didn't notice I was shedding with the back of my sleeve. I must have started during the drive not an uncommon event since Edward made his departure. Opening the door to the cab brings in a cold breeze from the fresh air outside and causes a shiver to run its way through my body. I grab my extra jacket laying next to me on the seat before I hop down from my truck. I wobbled a little from misjudging what should have been a familiar distance down. I didn't fall from the misstep so that's an improvement over yesterday when I faltered on my footing and landed hard and painfully right on my butt. After Edward left I had to readjust to the sensation of falling, not having his strong arms there to reach out and steady me.
As I close the door to my truck I voice my thoughts "See Edward, you can never truly be gone as you claimed, you consume me and have a place in every thought I make." Edward is everywhere in my thoughts but at the same aggravating time he is nowhere, at least no place I can get to. If I did find him it would be heartbreakingly pointless and amount in nothing more than him living me once again. I remind myself "he left me, he doesn't love me, and he doesn't want me." A sob rakes its way up my throat as I walk over the loosely packed gravel. I shrug on the second jacket and to clear my head of unwanted thoughts I try to focus on the crunching sound the gravel is making beneath my feet. I do this until I reach the trailhead where the gravel has ended abruptly and is replaced with a dirt path. The path leads upwards at about a 30-degree angle into a densely treed forest.
After hiking upward for about 30 minutes I trip over a tree root and fall. I fall forward landing on my forearms and knees then the force of my impact with the ground jolts my head forward and my face makes contact with the hard-packed dirt of the trail. It hurts and there are some scratches and blood where my body has made contact with the ground. I wipe the dirt from my face and take stock of the damage. It looks like no permanent harm is done accept probably some small scratched that will fade with time. To avoid becoming faint from the irony smell of my blood I decide against breathing through my nose and take a deep cleansing breath through my mouth.
Telling myself "Really it is just a little blood Bella, you can do this" I begin moving forward once again. I look down and realize I should have brought supplies in case this happened, With how clumsy I am I was bound to have a fall. My right forearm that took the majority of my weight in the fall is not looking too good. When I see the steady trickle of blood it makes me feel a little woozy. I fold my arm in on myself with my right hand on my lift shoulder and my wrist tucked under my chin trying to apply some pressure to it. There is still a stream of blood that collects at my elbow and from there slowly drips to the ground. It's probably stupid but I don't want to give up and turn back yet, so I keep moving forward but slower and with more cation in my steps.
It's been an hour since I started on the trail and I am starting to realize I am not built for hiking, at least not without Edward here to guide and help me. I am not sure why I thought I could make it to the meadow without him. Come to think of it, the meadow was somewhere off the trail. If I can't even manage on the trail flattened and compacted by years of use, then how will I manage to find my way and keep upright off-trail. I brake down crying because of the impossibility of this task and the realization that I can't do this.
I look down to the ground in defeat and see an impossibly large dog footprint. Then I hear a doleful cry, uttered probably by a Wolf, it sounds close, really close, I didn't know there are wolves out there. I look up and I am confronted with bright red eyes.
"Victoria," I say allowed while she glares at me with first rage, and then hunger. Then she lunges for my neck with thirst. Her teeth bite into me and I feel pain and the force of her body pressed to mine as she feeds from me. She's tackled me to the ground so fast that I think she dislocated my shoulder, or It just hurt from the sheer force she is applying while holding me down. The weight of her body is gone in an instant, and I am thrown by the force of whatever impacted with Victoria.
I am starting to feel dizzy and lightheaded from loss of blood, a dull burning pain spreading first from the bite and then through my body. My eyes fall closed as I try to block out the spreading dull pain. Then I hear Victoria screaming and what sounds like marble being broken or ripped apart. I can't imagine what could be causing Victoria to scream in pain like that, and all the other noises, so I open my eyes. Victoria's head is just being ripped from her body making that same noise that I heard before when my eyes are closed. One of the creatures, the largest black one, let's Victoria's head fall to the ground and it rolls a few feet away. I scan around and take stock of the four great animals in front of me. With their massive bear sized bodies but a rather wolf-like shape, it was impossible to look away until I fainted.
When I start to regain my senses I feel the grass beneath my body and the cool breeze. I feel the steady stream of pain moving through my body from Victoria's venom. The sensation is a familiar one and I flashback to when James had bitten me. So this pain pulsing from my neck must mean I am changing into a vampire. I am distracted from this thought when I here tree branches being ripped from trunks and someone nearby in a vaguely familiar voice says "we need to burn the pieces." I listened with my eyes closed as someone arranged the branches into a pile, and then I smelled smoke from the successfully started fire. That's when I heard my name mentioned.
" that's Bella, she's Billy's friend Charlie's daughter. I found her a couple of months back when she got lost in the woods." So that must mean that voice belongs to Sam from the reservation where Billy and his son Jacob live. I am so confused why are they here and where did the huge wolves go? I don't hear the heavy panting of the wolves anymore or the sound of there louder footfalls. None of this makes sense, why would Sam want to burn Victoria? Then I hear a completely unfamiliar voice says" so Sam, why do we burn the bloodsucker when it's already ripped to shreds" Sam replied with the tone of a teacher " Embry they must be burned to get rid of them for good. The smell of them burnings worse than there normal terrible sent and lingers for days but the strong breeze and coming rain will wash it away."
Now I am truly confused and starting to wonder if that story Jacob black told me on the La push beach was true in more ways than one. Did the tribe really descend from wolves, maybe that's why those wolves left. Maybe some of the tribe members can control them like pets.
Suddenly the Pain increases, there is so much pain. All I can feel is pain now, not the grass under me that I felt a moment ago or the sensation of cold from the wind, only pain, it has suddenly intensified. Although the pain is great I remain silent. That's when I hear Sam say "be ready when the vampire is ash we'll smother the flames and head out, we'll head to Billy's. We need to tell him Bella's dead. Charlie can't know how she died though, Billy will have to tell him it was an animal attack. Maybe a bear." And then again in that same teaching tone as before he says "we must always keep the secret, Billy knows this. Our kind must stay secret, and there's, the humans must not know about either" then the one called Embry says " now that the red-headed bloodsucker is dead do you think Jacobs still gonna change soon. I mean you said I changed cause the bloodsucker kept coming around for something." There's a pause and then Sam replies " yeah it's too late for him. Billy says he already has the fever he'll be with the pack in a week."
That's when I lost consciousness. It must have been the blood loss but the pain has woken me up again. My eyes open to darkness, it must be night time. There's no one around anymore they must have left to talk to Billy. The only sound I hear now is the wind rustling through the trees and my screams. It's strange, I don't feel cold anymore instead it feels like my entire body is on fire. I let out another scream from the pain and I can't find the strength to stop screaming. My throat is burning and my voice is cracking but I still don't stop, Not for three days. On the last night the pain starts to ebb away from my toes up up up my body to my heart and as it does the pain intensifies to an all-time high. I squeeze my eyes shut tighter and continue screaming. The pain is unbearable with my heart pumping furiously until my heart starts to slow and the pain reseeds until it's gone along with the sound of my heartbeat.
When I open my eyes the world has changed, at least it has to all my senses. When I look down at myself I can see I am healed of all the days injures, or I guess of my lifetime of injuries. The air is warm though it's night and the ground feels soft beneath me. The agony that raked my body is gone so the change must be complete, I am a vampire. "What do I do now," I say allowed and am astonished by the sound of my voice. It sounds so smooth strong and beautiful more wonderful than any melody I've ever heard before. My clothes are worse for wear, but my skin is unblemished and pale white, although to most human eyes I probably only look a bit paler than my usual pale tone. Not that it matters, I won't be able to go back to my old life.
Where should I go, I can't think of a sensible place to go but I smell what must be the lingering smell from when Victoria was burned. I can't stay here any longer so I stand swiftly on my new strong legs that move agilely over the ground. I follow my human sent that leads back to my truck. It only takes me a moment to get back to my truck so I can't help but laugh at how fruitless my humans self's efforts were. For an hour I struggle to do what it only takes me moments to do now. I take my keys out and leave them on the seat, Charlie can keep it or give it back to the Blacks.
Charlie…
I can't help but mourn the loss of Charlie and say aloud " Charlie… dad, I am so sorry." He must be devastated if Billy has already told him of my death. The thought strikes me as weird but I guess I did die. But if my truck is still here then maybe Billy and Sam are waiting to tell him until a search party has been looking for a few days wanting the prosses to occur organically. If they found me when no one was looking that may lead to some suspicion on the tribe, it sounded like Sam was already were of eyes taking a closer look.
I start to run away from the truck towards the Cullen's house. I'll stay there for a few days while I figure things out. The run to the Cullen's house is like nothing I have ever experienced l was moving fast, faster than any car I've ever been in but I have never felt so in control of myself. My mind is so vast now with so much room for thought. During the run, I think about the invigorating feel of the wind in my long silky brown hair and the impossibility of having a life with Charlie and Rena now. I also debating whether I should look for Edward and his family. I marveled at my improved vision, I could see absolutely everything all the tiny dust motes in the air even the microscope cellular structure of the fungus on the trees as I passed. Then I saw the Cullen's house in the distance, it was as beautiful as ever. I climbed the steps up to the door at a human speed. When I turn the handle the door is locked. I exit off the porch and go around to the side of the house where I remembered Edward's room to be. I quickly scaled the familiar tree outside his bedroom and find the section of the window that opens, and let myself in.
Edwards sent is overpowering in his room, it's everywhere in here. It lingers on the black leather couch and near the bookshelf where his cd-player is the strongest. For about a hundredths of a second, I am comforted by it. What I smell is undeniably Edward, but much stronger than before, intensified. Edward had always smelled wonderful to me even as a human, sweet-honey, and lilacs. His sent is reminding me of him, everything about him and of the pain of losing him, and even that pain has been intensified in this new life. But confusingly along with that pain is irritation and anger. My vast new mind is capable of so much more at once now. My love for him is no longer overpowering all the other emotions and it's a bit disorienting. But again there is so much room for thought so even the disorientation is more like a side note at the edge of my mind. I can't help but repeat Edward's words to me," I don't want you", and a flurry of emotions from sadness to betrayal, then anger, then confusion all have a place in my mind. With vampire speed I open his bedroom door and exit, closing it back behind me. I make my way quickly down the stairs to the living room. Although I am not tired I crave the comfort of a familiar action so I sit on the couch and it does relax me a little. Their living room is the same accept all the furniture is covered in protective white cloth suggesting what I already know, an extended absence away.
"I need to come up with a plan," I say allowed to the dusty cloth-covered room. I can't stay here in Forks so where do I go. I guess I should look for Edward. I want to see him so badly I ache for him. I also want him to explain to me, why he doesn't love me anymore. It's not that I think I am this amazing person that he shouldn't be able to live without. It just seemed he cared for me deeply and then all of a sudden didn't. Well even if he doesn't want to see me It has become apparent to me I need help figuring out this new life whether that help comes from him or his family. I need to find them, but to do so I'll need supplies. A backpack, clothes, money, new identity including passport and ID, and …
It burns, my throat burns like its engulfed in fire. I must be trusty and the shock has worn off, with this new body comes new necessities. Before I gather and borrow supplies from the Cullen's I'll try my luck at hunting. Maybe I'll be good at it, I am a vampire now it should be instinct, right. As I stand and walk to the door the thought hits me, wouldn't Alice have seen me changed by Victoria? Even if she did would it have mattered Edward said I'd never see from any of them again. She would have no reason to be looking out for my future. I banished the thought as I swiftly unlock and open the door. In an instant I am running through the forest familiarizing myself with all the new scents my human self never knew was there.
There's also a symphony of sounds. I hear the sound of trickling water from a nearby stream and the flapping of wings from the birds that I just startled off their perch in a tree. I can hear the buzz of insects and a drumming noise. I think it a heart beating it's mouthwatering. Then I catch the scent that belongs to that heartbeat and can't help but speed up to find the owner of that heartbeat. I stop when I come to a clearing that Is permeated with the sent, the sound of the heartbeat is still coming from about five kilometers up ahead. This must be a campsite for what I now realize is a human up ahead.
There's an army green tent set up in the middle of the clearing and the remnants of last night's fire, the burnt ash smell still lingers. There is a matching green chair next to the tent facing not the wilderness but towards the tent, it's facing a taped-up picture on the outside wall of the tent. The picture looks well worn it's of a tall sandy-haired man standing next to a blond woman while smiling down at a baby bundled tight in his arms. I am arrested by the image completely stopped in my tracks as I take in the picture of this loving family. I can't kill a human, I won't do it. The pain in my throat intensifies with this thought, a silent plea screaming for me to move forward but I do the opposite. I run in the direction back towards the Cullen's house and on the way, I smell another sent not nearly as appetizing but it doesn't matter I need to quench this burning thirst. I run as fast as I can almost single-mindedly when a mountain lion perched on a high branch comes into view. It's about to pounce on a dear below. Without a second thought, I lunge up into the tree and sink my teeth into the mountain lions neck but as I do it fights back raking its claws all over my body. It feels like soft caresses so I ignore it as I drink.
I drink until the mountain lion becomes still and the blood stops flowing, I am disappointed at how unsatisfied I am. I am still so thirsty. Why am I so thirsty, will this burning need ever be quenched? Edward was able to go days without hunting, how did he do it? A sudden rush of guilt spreads through me, it was because of me, he didn't want to leave me. Why then if he didn't want to leave even to quench this kind of pain, did he leave me and go away forever? I have to find the Cullen's and get all these questions answered. I hope they'll tell me that this burning in my throat fades with time. As I jump down from the tree I listen for the sound of that dear that was grazing below just a moment ago and runoff in that direction. I find it grazing with its herd not far off and drink down three dears. I feel unsatisfied but full, so I head back to the Cullen's house.
My first stop after returning to the house is Alice's closet, I figure I can probably find almost everything I need there. I open her closet door and make my way to the right back corner where I see a collection of bags. I grab the medium-sized durable looking black leather one with a line of small crystals accenting the side in a single vertical line. Knowing her there probably diamonds and it probably an expensive backpack from some high-end designer. Fancy or not it'll get the job done. There are also stacks of neat half-inch bundles of cash in the closet on a high shelf so I grab five of the bundles and place them into my newly acquired bag. They probably wouldn't even miss the cash but I still vow to pay them back. While surrounded by all of Alice's clothes it strikes me that I am not wearing much of anything. That mountain lion tore my clothes to shreds. I reach to the closet hanger and grab it off the rack. It's a silky blue floor-length dress, I quickly place it back on the rack and try my luck with another. The next one is a deep blue chiffon gown with a ruched sweetheart bodice and flowing chiffon skirt that has a high-low hemline that looks perfect for not getting in the way while running. I take it off its hanger and head to the restroom to shower and change. This dress is truly beautiful plus I doubt Alice owns anything that's not a bit over the top or designer so there's not much use to looking. With this new form, I'm less hesitant to were these kinds of clothing. There is less fear of tearing the dress or falling.
After I am showered and changed I go back into Alice's closet and add a few more clothing items into the bag folding them neatly and placing them on top of the money. Placing the backpack onto my back I give the closet a final scan and notice the stack of passports next to where the cash is kept. In investigating the passports I find a slip of paper.
Thank you for your long time business.
Don't hesitate to ask if you find yourself
in need of any other documents.
J. Jenks
The note is written on thick expensive paper. I flip it over and on the back scrolled in a different hand was the name Jason Jenks and the address for somewhere in Seattle. I can try looking it up online later. This may be my ticket to a new passport, only if I can keep from eating this J guy though. I was able to run away from that human earlier today and that was before I fed. So maybe if I fill up on plenty of animal blood and breathe through my mouth, I can manage it. I place the slip of paper back on the shelf and make my way to the living room.
While sitting on the couch I contemplate a very stupid idea. Maybe I can go see Charlie while he sleeps and say goodbye. I would never hurt Charlie; I can feel the determination to keep him safe in my bones. The clock on the wall reads 1:32 am, so Charlie has definitely gone to bed by now. Standing up with a smooth elegant grace I make my way to the door and then to over to Charlie's house. It looks dark so I take a deep breath and jump up to my bedroom window and quietly let myself in.
My room looks untouched, I doubt Charlie will ever change it. Breathing through my mouth I make my way into the hall and over to Charlie's door. The pain in my throat is more than uncomfortable but it is bearable, I can do this. I hear his steady snore so I proceed with opening the door and move swiftly to where he sleeps. I am racked with guilt as a stair down at his sleeping face. Even in sleep he looks pained, maybe he is having a nightmare.
I quietly in a whisper say my goodbye "Charlie… dad, I am so so sorry. I have to go away…I'll come back though and check in on you, make sure you're safe. I love you so much… I am sorry I didn't say it more when I had the chance. Don't let me being gone brake you… you're strong dad." With that said I walk back to my room and take my backpack off to place a few books and some other items inside. I am sure if it was possible I'd be crying right now.