GLH113 On the Usefulness of Boats

After a quiet but love-filled night, Parvon woke to pale light and his arms full of Triwathon; it really wasn't a bad way to start the day, he mused, beginning to disentangle himself from arms and legs and hair not his own without waking their owner. He had done all he could to comfort and support Triw's mood, and certainly he had turned away from sorrow and memory and into Parvon's arms with love and eager participation…

Parvon found a silly smile trying to take charge of his face; no, he mustn't let himself look so foolish, Triw might wake still pensive, and it wouldn't do to seem to be flippant or too light-of-heart… but it was impossible, newly-vowed and finally able to love and be loved, not to be at least a little joyous…

He was almost dressed when he heard voices outside, light, conversational, seeming to be talking to another about not wishing to disturb certain parties and yet needing to talk to one of them at the earliest opportunity, before breakfast, in fact, and it was almost that now…

Recognising Canadion's voice, Parvon went to open the tent as behind him Triw stirred awake.

'Beloved?'

He turned swiftly, a smile in place.

'Good morning, love. I think Canadion is on his way. You stay there, I'll see if I can help him.'

'I just need… need a moment.'

Parvon nodded and drew the tent closed behind him.

'Canadion, how can I serve?' he began, nodding a greeting to him, and the elf with him.

'Master Parvon, do you know Captain Lithon? He is in charge of the hunters who came up from Ithilien with the boats, and he wishes to pay his respects once more to the gemstone; he himself has just arrived…'

'Captain, well met. Of course you may take time with the stone, but if you wish for any account of the events leading to the loss of the Hero of Gondolin, might I suggest you ask someone other than myself or my husband?'

'Husband? I did not know you were married, Master Parvon. My best wishes. Nor would I put you to any trouble…'

'Thiriston or I can tell you all you might like to know, Lithon. Now, it is this way… Master Parvon, I will let you know when we are ready to pack away the pavilion after breaking our fast, so you may take charge once more of the gemstone…'

'Of course, Canadion. I'll see you presently.'

With the captains' departure, stone securely packed away in its pouch and case, he returned to the tent to find Triw not there, but no sign of where he might be.

Anxious, he cast about with all his senses and allowed his mind to settle, his heart to reach out. Triw's presence, his actual, physical proximity, had seemed to affect the bond Parvon felt towards him, or perhaps it was because he had been so filled up with the actuality of him that Parvon had allowed his awareness of the fëa-bond he felt to diminish, to settle back down. But now he thought of it, and allowed himself to reach out to his beloved's fëa… yes, he was sure, there was something…

Sorrow. Joy, yes, love shining and warming, but underneath it an anguish barely distinguishable from the joy, a keening sort of ache…

…away from the camp and along the side of the stream-canal…

He followed his heart through the trees, moving quietly and gently, feeling himself beckoned on. After perhaps a quarter of a mile, he saw Triw seated on the bank, feet drawn in close to his body, arms around his knees, staring out across the river as if it had personally injured him and with something like despair in his posture. Suddenly, he turned away, bowed his head. Seeing Parvon, he stiffened, lifted his gaze, tried to smile and beckoned.

'Are you well, Triwathon?' Pavon asked, for there was something about his beloved's eyes that suggested he was still, perhaps, a little haunted.

'Thank you, I'm just a little… after yesterday.'

Parvon nodded and reached his hands out to pull Triwathon to his feet. 'I'd say you'll feel better after we eat, but really, is breakfast such a cure?'

'Your company will be cure enough,' Triw said. 'You are the best of remedies.'

'Ah, you are sweet!' Parvon said, squeezing his hand and pulling close to place a soft kiss on Triw's face. 'Shall we to breakfast anyway? Or we will be subject to ribald comments as to why we are late, which will be unfounded for this morning, unless we stay and allow them to become true, and be later…'

Triw laughed, sounding properly glad and joyous, and Parvon relaxed his watch, leading his husband to the cook fires and food.

This morning, Magorion and Thindo were their neighbours, the dyer sitting between Mago and Parvon and bumping shoulders to get his attention.

'Some excitement, then,' he began. 'There's a boat come up late…'

'Captain Lithon's?' Parvon helped himself to spiced tea and Hopeful Breakfast – it seemed to be a mixture of eggs and fragments of meat, served with lembas wafers. 'I saw him, he wished to see the gemstone…'

'Yes, indeed. He brought with him four more elves, but the supply boat foundered – a new elf not paying attention or something, and running wrong on the shoals – and so not only are we eating scraps this morning, but there is one boat fewer than will be needed to carry us off on the river…'

Parvon nodded, but was more aware that at his side, Triw had shivered at the mention of the river. He hoped his love wasn't worried by the thought of being in a boat – after all, there was a longer voyage than just floating down the river ahead…

'…what's more, there are six elves left with the boat, they will either repair it, or port it through the woods, with the supplies on their backs. Discussion is being made as to whether Thiriston will send a boat down to help, or what to do; he is keen for us to get under way, but there are not places, now, for all in the boats… some might go swiftly in the canopy, it's true, for the river loops around a little… it is all exciting, except the delay is annoying for some… and of course the naneths are all complaining that they will be squashed into too few boats with their elflings, this despite their earlier grumbles that they wanted alternative transport than walking… I tell you, I am immensely glad to be accepted around this campfire rather than have to sit in the midst of all that!'

'Although I am not disputing the usefulness of boats, by rights, we should be walking anyway,' Parvon replied. 'It is what Thranduil wanted, after all…'

'Well, he is not here, is he?' Magorion leaned forward, laughing as he joined in. 'And I shall not tell him, if I even remain this side of the sea… and you are sailing, we are all sailing except those who are escorting you, and they are just following orders… in fact, one could say the escort duty is a courtesy, only because we were going the same way; you could have taken your own route, had you wished and…'

But here Magorion broke off, for Thindo had grabbed his shoulders.

'What do you mean, even if you remain on this side of the sea? Mago?'

The elf squeaked and braced his hands on Thindorion's arms, looking into his face.

'Well, I thought… you're nice, you say I'm nice, and I… well, IthoughtyoumightlikeitifIsailedwithyou…'

Thindo pulled him into a hug.

'Yes, Mago, yes, I would like that very much! I… come on, we've got things to talk about!'

He jumped to his feet, pulled Magorion up from his place, and grinned around the breakfast camp. 'If anyone wants us, we'll be… talking. Quietly, I expect. It might take a while. So you'd better start off down the river without us…!' He began to back towards the tents, Mago in tow. 'We'll be fine, we'll run the canopy, it will make more space in the boats…'

Consternation followed their exit. Triwathon turned to Parvon.

'What did we just see…?'

'I think we saw Thindo finding his happiness at last. I'm glad, if so; he's been a good friend.'

'To us both, indeed.' Triw smiled. 'I wonder if he'll asked one of us to be his Witness?'

Parvon laughed. 'That would be apt, would it not? Better you than me, though, as you're a warrior like Magorion…'

'But you are King's Office, after all…! Well, perhaps we could both do it.'

'Or perhaps they will ask someone else.'

'Or… maybe they won't take vows yet,' Triw added, his voice pensive. 'It didn't sound like a declaration, not really… and it is sudden.'

'Maybe that's what they'll be talking about. But, Triw – when it's right, it's right. It was sudden for me, after all…'

As soon as he said it, Parvon regretted the words, for Triwathon's eyes seemed to close down.

'And I took far too long to see you! Oh, Parvon…!'

'It's all right, we're together now, we've got the rest of forever, love.'

Triwathon nodded.

'Forever,' he said. 'I doubt it will be time enough.'

Gracefully he rose from his place.

'Perhaps I should see if I can help with some of Mago's duties, do you think that's a good idea?'

'It's very kind of you. In the hopes of not becoming embroiled with the grumbling of the naneths, I'll make a start on our billet, if you trust me to pack for you.'

'I'd be grateful. Thank you, love. I'll seek you later.'

But Captain Thiriston sought him first.

Just as Parvon was finished packing up and was looking at how to deconstruct the tent, he heard the gruff voice of the captain outside.

'You spare me a moment, Master Parvon?'

'Of course, Captain.' Parvon turned, inclined his head, for the form of address Thiriston had used suggested this was formal business, not chat. 'How may I serve?'

'Bit of a favour to ask,' the big elf said. 'Lithon's elves – they've had to abandon their boat, there's a party on the way to help 'em with the supplies… but some of them were saying they'd sparred with Glorf… with the Balrog-Slayer, when he was at the Old Palace, and want to add to the stone. Might not get another chance…'

Parvon was nodding before Thiriston finished speaking.

'Of course, the stone can wait for them. I'll be glad to entrust it to your care, or Canadion's, for that matter.'

But Thiriston was shaking his head.

'Need you to stay and keep an eye on things for me, if you would. Husband can stay, too. Come down with the supply boat, we'll wait for you. Leave an elf or two to steer you down the river, if you don't mind sitting with the baggage. That all right? Wouldn't ask, but got a bit of a situation. Magorion's just declared undying love for your friend the dyer, who has announced he'll vow him forever once they get to Valinor, so his mind's not on his work…'

'I'm delighted for them both, Captain. Of course I'll stay and officiate. If you wished, the pavilion can come down – just leave me some seating in the corner of the barracks building, and I'll oversee matters there.'

'That's helpful, my thanks. It's chaos, by the hythe. Seems some don't want to share boats with others and others want to sit with their particular friends, but none will sit backwards and I'm about ready to tip them all into the water! So you're well out of it, if you ask me. Anyway. Mago and Thindorion want to walk, and I'm leaving a few elves to pack up, and they'll run the canopy down to us, so there'll be help about if you need it.'

'My thanks. I'd better seek Triwathon, let him know.'

When Parvon found him, and explained, Triw nodded.

'It's good of you to stay; they will appreciate it. And it sounds a more… intimate setting than last night, perhaps. But, if you will forgive it, I don't think I'll take part. I couldn't… I can't… it's…'

'I wouldn't expect it of you, love,' Parvon said hastily. 'Hopefully, they'll say all they need in an hour and we can be off down the river without too much delay. I'm not really looking forward to it – it seems wrong, somehow, not to walk.'

'I'll help the other elves who are staying to pack.'

That's good; it will keep your mind off… things. It's good news about Thindo, isn't it?'

'Yes, wonderful! I am glad he has found his completion, he has been so staunch a friend.'

'One day, perhaps you'll tell me.'

Triwathon nodded. 'One day. Some day.'

'When you're ready, of course,' Parvon said, wondering at how stilted the conversation had suddenly become, worrying if it was something he'd said… but no time for that now, later, when they were more private, he could draw Triw out then, perhaps… 'Anyway, love, don't work too hard, will you?'

'I'm going to watch the boats go off from the hythe, I think. Then I'll make myself useful.'

It was a strange thing, Triw acknowledged to himself, but for all that he was joyous and glad and delighted in Parvon, he needed just a little time away from him.

Not because he didn't want to be with him, it was just… he didn't want to be seen to be sad, when he was of course joyous and glad to be vowed, to love and be loved with the other part of himself at last. Yet there were things… boat things, Glorfindel things…

Because he couldn't look at the waterway, or the boats, couldn't smell the bright air lifting from the surface of the sliding stream without thinking of the sea, and ships, and sailing, and, oh, why wouldn't he want to sail, to be with his love? But why would he go, when so much of his dubious past was there, where so many of his youthful follies might be exposed, making Parvon lose some of his love for him. Perhaps losing respect, too, and then would the planned forever-vows even happen? He didn't think he could bear it, if the foolish, shy, desperate elf he'd been as a youngster were to get in the way of his future with his fëa-mate…

And Glorfindel would be there, too.

Somehow, the gemstone, the reminders… he was ashamed in some way he couldn't quite explain, or even understand. Perhaps it was that Parvon was so loyal and steadfast and true, and he'd made him wait so long…

So he needed time apart, just a few minutes, an hour, here and there, to get the better of himself and focus on being vowed now, being present for his husband (for so he was, even if it was only short vows)…

Because, oh, how he loved Parvon! Unlike anything he had felt for any of his others, so much deeper and richer and sure, somehow. Surely, if Parvon were to find out things he didn't like, or hear stories that might sound worse than the reality had been, he would understand, forgive, accept?

But Parvon had already understood, and accepted, and forgiven so much… how could he possibly keep on being so good, how could Triwathon possibly expect it of him…?