A/N: The title comes from the song "For Me, It's You" by Lo Moon. The song doesn't really have anything to do with this story or Michael/Jackie in general, I just thought it made a fitting title. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Realising you have feelings for your best friend is one thing, acting on them is another, thought Michael. Add the fact that she was also a colleague and that your boss didn't like work romances, then the situation became more complicated.
Michael sat at his desk trying to focus on paperwork, but kept thinking of Jackie. She had always been special to him, but it wasn't until recently that he realised just how special she was. He thought back to the awful Gemma incident. Jackie had been his rock and had supported him throughout it all. He felt lucky to have her as a friend, but he also knew he wanted more than that.
There were several reasons not to pursue it. She might not be interested; their careers could be put on the line and he didn't want to hold her back. He considered that things might not work out between them. Would they still be able to work together? Would their friendship survive?
On the other hand, she made him happy.
Very happy.
His favourite parts of the day seemed to revolve around her, and he missed her whenever she wasn't there. Yes, it would be easier to ignore it, but he knew if he didn't act on it, he'd come to regret it.
Michael was so deep in thought that he didn't notice that Jackie had approached his desk.
"You look like your miles away," said Jackie.
"Huh?" Michael looked a bit startled.
"You look like your mind's elsewhere."
Michael sighed. "Maybe, I am finding it hard to concentrate today," he admitted.
Jackie frowned slightly, that wasn't like him. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah…" Michael knew this wasn't the appropriate moment to ask her out. He could, however, ask her for a chat after work.
Here goes nothing, he thought to himself.
"Listen… when we're finished tonight, can we have a talk? There's something I want to ask you," he said, trying to maintain eye contact.
"Sure."
"Thanks," he smiled. "I better get a move on with this. Otherwise, Taggart will make my life a misery."
"You definitely don't want that," Jackie smirked.
"Later, then."
Jackie nodded in reply, before going back to her desk.
Michael went back to his paperwork, feeling both a sense of eagerness and dread in equal amounts.
The rest of their shift was uneventful, and Michael found that it had gone by quickly. It usually did when he felt apprehensive, he mused.
He noticed Jackie approaching and gave her a nod in greeting.
"You all set?" she asked with a smile.
Michael nodded in reply and they walked in step together.
After a moment of silence, Jackie spoke. "So, what did you want to talk to me about?"
"Not here, I'd rather this be private."
"Okay," she replied, wondering what on earth this was all about.
They walked the rest of the way in silence until they reached Michael's car. He took out his key and motioned for her to get in.
"This is private?" she asked.
Michael looked a little apologetic. "This should only take a moment."
"So, what do you want?" she asked, once they were both seated in his car.
You, he thought to himself.
He took a deep breath, unsure where to begin.
"I was wondering…" he trailed off.
"Yes?" she asked gently.
"You've been really good to me, Jackie. You've always been there for me and after Gemma… you stuck by me and supported me. I can't tell you what that means to me."
Jackie smiled. "Don't mention it."
Michael didn't immediately respond and looked at his hands. "I was wondering…" he looked up at Jackie, "if you would like to go out with me."
"For a drink? Sure." She was a bit confused as to why he'd make a big deal out of that.
Michael shook his head. "That's not what I meant. I was thinking along the lines of a date."
"You want to date me?" she asked after a moment.
Michael nodded. "I've recently realised… I have feelings for you."
"Michael…" she whispered.
"I realise this is an awkward position to put you in."
"Michael- "
"And you don't have to decide anything right away," he said in a rush.
"Michael," she said firmly.
Michael didn't say anything, he braced himself for the rejection he was sure was going to come.
"I know…" Jackie began, unsure of how to continue without hurting him. "We're good friends."
Michael nodded.
"We spend a lot of time together, even when we're off duty. And with everything that happened with Gemma… I can see why you'd think this would be a good idea. But Michael, I don't want to be your safe option."
Michael stared at her. Did she really think he saw her as a consolation prize?
"Are you telling me you think this is a rebound?" he asked, breaking the silence.
"I'm sorry Michael, but I don't want to be anyone's second best."
Michael was ready to reply. But Jackie cut him off.
"Maybe you don't believe that right now. But one day, you might realise that this was a mistake."
"Jackie…" he leaned towards her.
Jackie shook her head. "Goodnight Michael," she got out of the car and walked away.
Michael knew he should have gone after her, but he was too dumbstruck to follow her. How did she think he'd use her as a rebound? Didn't she know he cared about her too much to do anything like that?
Michael sighed and put his head on the steering wheel. He took a few moments to process everything. He knew her rejection was possible, but he hadn't imagined this.
How could he make her see that he wanted to be with her? Not Gemma, or anyone else.
Eventually, he started his car and drove home, he hoped that everything would be okay.
Stakeouts were never Jackie's favourite part of the job. It always involved waiting, and if in a certain mood, sometimes left Jackie brooding.
Made all the more complicated when her thoughts involved the man who was on a stakeout with her.
Had it really been a little over twenty-four hours since he'd asked her out? It felt a lot longer. They'd barely spoken today, only when necessary. Neither were thrilled when Taggart had ordered them to go on the stakeout.
She had wanted nothing more than to say yes to Michael. His words had been a shock, but she'd be lying if she said she'd never wanted to hear them from him.
She thought back to when Gemma had briefly re-entered his life. She had helped him to pick up the pieces. If she was being honest with herself, his heartbreak had broken her heart a little too.
Looking back, she realised that he hadn't talked about her a while. Maybe he had moved on. Or at least, he seemed to think he had.
Jackie didn't want to be his guinea pig to make sure though.
On reflection, she could see that Michael didn't view a potential relationship between them as a rebound. He had always been the one person she could trust.
However, she didn't want to enter a relationship with him, only for Michael to later realise she wasn't the one he wanted. She knew she'd feel just as bad as Michael had felt when Gemma had rejected him.
Most importantly, she didn't want to risk losing him.
Of course, she hadn't been doing a good job of that today, she had been avoiding him throughout the day.
Jackie looked ahead, she tried to put all of her focus on the case, while trying to ignore Michael's glances at her.
She'd noticed him doing it throughout the stakeout. Jackie had a mind to tell him to stop, but then she'd be a hypocrite.
She'd been sneaking glances at him too.
She was bracing herself for the inevitable moment when their eyes would meet, and they would have to say something not related to the case. Which they would have to do sooner or later.
A couple of moments passed before Jackie glanced at Michael again.
He was looking back at her.
Jackie immediately looked away, before meeting his eyes.
"I need to talk to you about last night," he said.
"This is hardly the time," said Jackie.
"True," Michael agreed, "but maybe when this is over, we can talk?"
Jackie didn't reply straight away. She knew she should hear him out, he deserved that.
"Okay," she finally said.
"Thank you," he said with a small smile.
Michael looked away from her and they both focused on the case. They both had a job to do and they were determined to see it through.
They didn't have to wait long.
"Isn't that…?" Jackie said.
Michael nodded.
They were in business.
A while later and everything had all worked out. They were now free to go home. Both Michael and Jackie stood in silence, taking in the cool air.
Jackie broke the silence. "I believe you wanted to talk."
"Look, before I go any further, if your answer's still the same, I won't speak of this again. Okay?" he said.
Jackie nodded.
Michael gave her a small smile in thanks before starting. "I didn't mean for you to think anything between us would be a rebound. I don't see you as that."
Well, of course, you'd say that, Jackie thought. She stayed silent, as she waited for Michael to continue.
"It's true, Gemma did hurt me, badly. But I now see that even if she'd said yes it wouldn't have worked. We had both changed so much, and I shouldn't have proposed without taking that into account. You were right to warn me."
Jackie broke eye contact and smiled. She could tell that he meant what he said, but she couldn't help but still have doubts.
She sighed. "Okay… but what if months or even years down the line you realised you were wrong about this?"
Michael shook his head. "I'm not wrong about this."
"So, you say. But, how can you be sure?"
"Because I rarely think of Gemma now. But you? I think about you a lot. Gemma isn't the reason I want to be with you. Yes, it helped, but…she made me realise that there's only ever been one woman for me,".
He stopped for a moment, unsure of how to continue. "You make me happy; I want to make you happy too," he said.
You already do, she thought. Jackie didn't speak, she didn't want her voice to betray the emotions she felt.
Michael sighed before continuing. "Look… if you don't want to be with me, fine. But, if your sole reason is because you think you're a rebound, you've no worries."
He gently put his hand on her shoulders and brought her closer.
"Jackie… I don't want to be with Gemma. I want to be with you."
Jackie smiled as she felt her doubts slip away. Instead she now had a belief that this would work and that the two of them would be happy.
As she realised that, Jackie came to a decision.
Jackie leaned forward and did something she'd been wanting to do since she first saw him in the festival choir.
She kissed him.
After the kiss ended, Jackie spoke. "I've wanted to do that for a while," she admitted with a smile.
"Well, I definitely won't complain if you ever want to do that again," Michael said with a grin.
So, she did kiss him again.
Michael slid his hands from her shoulder, placing them on her back.
When the kiss deepened, all thoughts of rebounds and Gemma Normington disappeared from Michael and Jackie's minds.