Street stepped out of the steaming hot shower to see his phone had a msg. "Chris" he thought with a smile, he felt a wave of adrenaline rushed through his body. He swiped across the screen and opened the msg.
Hondo: "Hey man, sorry I missed u after shift. U ok? Need anything before shift tomoz?"
Street got a sick feeling deep in his stomach. Hondo was an amazing boss, friend and team leader and Street didn't want to disappoint him again. He knew he had to talk to Hondo, he knew keeping this from his commanding officers wouldn't end well when they found out from other sources, but he was terrified of losing his SWAT family. Of not having that team around him. He needed them.
He wrapped a towel around his waist and headed back to his room.
"Ding" another msg, "crap…..Hondo's onto me" he thought as he opened the phone again expecting to see Hondo calling him out on Chris.
Chris: "Hey, U ok, saw u all on the news, great work today!"
A smile came to his face. "She's thinking about me" he thought.
Chris was sitting in her ICU bed staring at her phone. She knew the team had had a huge shift and she accepted that that was why she hadn't heard from or seen Street today. She missed him so bad it hurt in her chest. She felt so awful for the way she had been with him over this whole situation. She missed the way they used to be, the playful flirting and teasing each other. He made her laugh every day and if she was being completely honest, she had developed feelings for him pretty early on too. She had not handled any of this well at all. She knew she loved Street….. deeply, but it also terrified her. She had told herself that she had become so icy towards him in the days and weeks after that kiss to force him keep it professional. She was scared of letting that guard down as she didn't know if she would be able to control herself around him when they were at work together and seeing him outside of work was going to make the situation worse, she was sure of it. She didn't trust herself to been in control around him. Her only method of dealing with this was to shut him out completely. She remembered vividly the way his lips felt on hers, the way his kiss tasted and just the raw scent of him….. it was all bliss in her thoughts as she sat their reliving the memories. She thought back to why she had begun her relationship with Ty and Kira. She knew deep down that she had really started dating Kira to try to dampen down her feelings for Street, but all it had done now was cause pain and hurt to herself, Street, Ty and Kira. Chris had developed feelings for Kira first and Street had been her confidante through her confusion when Ty came into the picture. He had been supportive of her exploring it, but had like Deac, expressed his concerned that she was "setting herself up for heart ache". Her feelings for Ty and Kira had grown, they made her smile and she was attracted to them, but she had asked herself after waking up in the hospital "Do I really and truly love them or just like the idea of being with them? Do I just want to be with them so nothing else changes with Street and I? I won't lose my SWAT family. If I stay with Ty and Kira I will lose Street as a friend eventually. He has been amazing, but if I keep this up, he is gunna eventually push me away like I did to him and that will be it"
Chris began typing, blinking and nodding to herself she hit send.
Meanwhile Street was replying to her "Hectic shift, I am so beat… the…."
"Ding" His typing was interrupted by another msg.
Chris: "I miss u"
Streets heart skipped a beat. He closed his eyes and smiled. "God, I miss her too" he whispered to himself. Do I tell her I miss her? Do I keep it cool? God where is her head at? I wish she would talk to me and end this guessing game.
Street didn't know how long his own heart to take this game with her anymore. But he imagined her trapped in that ICU ward, with Kira missing, her guilt and he understood.
"Yeah, I miss u too, I miss seeing you smile and having a laugh with you every day" he typed back. His thoughts flew back to Hondo. I need to admit to Hondo that I have feelings for Chris, huge feelings for Chris. I need to just man up!...But what the hell will that mean for us? Do I tell him tomorrow? Should I wait till I've sorted stuff out with Chris though? At least hopefully gotten back to being friends with her, Or is that gunna be too late? If the detectives find out and tell Hondo or Commander Hicks….. then shit will hit the fan. I will lose my family, my spot on SWAT and Chris"
His heart ached, head pounded, and hands trembled. He lay on his bed and he couldn't stop thinking about Chris, Kira and Ty and about almost telling the Commander and Hondo. Street had never been more torn about what to do. What should I reply to Hondo? Tell him now? Wait til tomorrow? Talk to Chris?... he was so lost.
He picked up his phone and twirled it for a minute in his fingers,
"No, all ok, I'll catch u tomoz" he replied to Hondo.
He was then debating whether he should txt Chris this late anymore as he was so tired, but his brain would not switch off and let him sleep.
"Ding"
Chris: "I'm sorry for how I have been Street. I hope you know that. I never meant to hurt you. I never wanted this all to end up like this".
Street lay there reading her words. "God …" he closed his eyes "I really need to talk her first about this all. I need to know what she wants, or I could stuff this all up for good"
"U still awake?" he typed ….."Man, what am I doing?" he thought after he had hit send.
Chris: "yeah, my brain won't shut off today…. U ok?" she replied
"Yeah I guess, tired, but can't shut off either. U ok?"
Chris: "I guess, no news yet, feel helpless and guilty as hell, it's eating me up"
Street lifted himself out of bed and hesitated a minute before grabbing up his clothes, his helmet and singing out to Luca that he had to go see a friend and would back later.
"I'm coming in" he wrote back as he started his bike and rode off. He felt his phone vibrate a few times in his pocket on the way in, but he ignored it. He needed to say the next part to her face.