It was fine.
"I-.. I-.." A snort from behind Ron was followed by the sound of something dragging.
All of it was totally fine.
"No! Ugh!" Shego stood to Ron's right, partially sitting on the couch's armrest . "You should do what you want to do!"
There was absolutely positively nothing wrong with this scene.
"I am doing what I want to do!" Drew said peevishly. "It just so happens that I want to do whatever you want me to!"
Nope. Not at allllll.
"That's just rationalization, Dad," his KP sighed. "You're trying to justify your irrational need to do whatever anyone says."
"I-.. I can't-.." The sound of something being tapped together echoed through the room. A small, barely hearable whisper reached the blond's ears. "If Lord Gemini finds out…"
"...I think we're done for the day." Shego stood up and walked towards the center of the room. Ron finally felt okay enough to look at what was up.
Drew stood in the middle of the room, twiddling his fingers nervously as his vines wavered about around him. Today he was wearing his oversized gray jogging clothes, though it would probably be the last day he did. The thighs and back were all shredded up from his spikey bits cutting through. Next to him was a wooden crate. KP had said that they use props in their work to try and fix Drew. It was just a little weird. A crate. Where did they even get that sorta stuff?
Kim rubbed her head a good several feet from Drew. Enough distance that dodging any incoming vines would be pretty easy. Luckily that was happening less, though they still hadn't gotten Drew to stop. Just, stop doing the flaily vine stuff and stuff.
He then looked at Shego who was, for some reason, studying him from next to Drew. It made him nervous. Heeby-jeebies and all that.
"Hi?" he squeaked out, trying not to shrink back from her intense gaze.
"So, Sidekick…" A frown tugged at her mouth. "I've noticed a little something weird. About you."
"About me?" Welp, this would end badly. What did he do that was weird that he normally didn't do? Did he forget to shower again? KP normally reminded him. He was pretty sure he'd done it recently…
"Y'see, when we do our little sessions, you act funny." Eyes narrowed in clear judgment.
Ron wasn't quite sure what she meant. "Like, funny ha-ha, or…?"
She stared at the blond with a strange look on her face. Then, voice raised, Shego practically demanded, "Why do you keep looking away?"
"Eh?" His head tilted.
"During our work. You look away like it's something awful." There was a hint of accusation and something else that he couldn't quite pinpoint.
"I, I just feel like this is a really close family thing," Ron gulped. "And Drew doesn't like me, and, uhm…"
"Then why exactly are you here?"
That was an easy answer. "Moral support and another thinking tank! You never know…" Ron nodded sagely. "I might be the one to break those mental blocks." He paused, then reluctantly added, "And we were totally running late from a mission. Dropping me off would've taken too long."
"I don't get why Drew isn't okay with always having Ron over more," Kim grumbled, giving her dad the stink eye.
"Because he's a buffoon," the blue guy replied.
"Right…" Kim sighed, then said, finger wagging at Drew, "You and Ron are a lot alike. If you actually gave him a chance I think you would be pleasantly surprised at how much you like each other! I mean, you two got on pretty well when we all hung out together at the North Pole."
"Extentutating circumstances!" he snapped back.
"I think you mean 'extenuating'," Shego said with some sass.
"I'm not an Englist and you know it!" Drew hissed, eyes narrowed. With how red his eyes were and his freaky weird tongue that Ron caught glimpses of every now and then it felt like a LITERAL hiss.
Ron was resisting cringing at the hostile exchanges. KP has told him that her dad was kinda mean after their sessions, but this was a little beyond mean. Downright nasty is what Ron would call it!
"Look. Doc. Calm down." Shego pat-patted his arm. "It's all fine. You're safe. Things are good. Just…" A bit of defeat tinged her voice. "I dunno… Bake cookies or something?"
Drew grumbled wordlessly and crossed his arms. He then turned and stomped towards the little kitchen that was in the Canadian lair.
It was quiet for about a minute after he stalked off. Then Shego shook her head, walking over to the couch to sit down. She sat on the opposite side, as far away from Ron as could be. Kim joined them, sitting down between the two of them. His fiancée gave him a small stressed smile and took one of his hands in her own. To Ron's worry, she was shaking slightly.
"Well…" Ron nervously chuckled. Hoping to boost the mood, he added, "At least he didn't throw it?"
"This time," Shego snorted.
"Yeah…" Kim bit her lip and looked down at the floor.
"Ah."
Well, that was a failure of epic proportions.
They all sat quietly. Very quietly. Awkwardly quietly. It was a quiet that made Ron super nervous. He was suppressing his nervous tics as best he could; it just wouldn't be cool to start hyperventilating when everyone else should be the ones panicking.
Then Shego's phone began blaring like a fog horn.
"Ah!" She pulled it from her leg pouch and turned the alarm off. "I guess that was actually pretty good timing!" Her arms stretched above her before she stood from the couch. "Sorry kids, but I gotta go."
"Go?" Ron, Kim, and Rufus asked at the same time, his buddy having just woken up from the noise of the alarm.
"Yup! Got a video conference to attend. Gotta do my 'college qualifying interview', whatever that means." Shego rolled her eyes. "I already got stuff set up in the study, so I just gotta be on time."
"Ooooookay…?" Kim said, clearly just as confused as Ron. "Why didn't you bring this up before?"
"Because I needed someone to keep an eye on Drew and I didn't want to give you a chance to say no," the former villainess answered easily.
"I could've maybe had plans after his therapy session!" KP complained.
"Same here!" Ron echoed, feeling left out.
"Yeah!" Rufus threw in.
"But you don't, do you?" Kim's mom said with a smirk. "Today was your dedicated world-saving day, after all."
Kim puffed out her cheeks and frowned but didn't say anything.
"See? It all works out." Shego gave an easy shrug and began walking off. "It shouldn't take too long. Maybe a half-hour or so, maybe less. Just make sure your pops doesn't bake some sentient monstrosity, will ya? 'kay, thanks, bye!"
"But-.." Shego was gone before Kim could get anything else out. The redhead grumbled under her breath as she flopped back against the couch. "Great."
"You seem weirdly bummed out, KP. Don't you like spending time with Drew?" Ron asked, confused. She was acting like it was a chore!
She flinched before saying, "Well, yeah, I do, but…" A sigh escaped her lips. "After a session, he's very… Delicate. It really can be like babysitting. Except the baby can throw you into the wall with one wrong word."
"Ah. Sooooo…" Ron motioned towards the kitchen. "Should we go assume our babysitting duties?"
"...yeah. Probably should."
They both got up from the couch and started towards the kitchen. They made it to the doorway before Kim paused and blinked.
"You know what? I actually have something I can do while making sure he doesn't fly off the handle. Some extra credit work. Have my homework in the car. Be back in a minute with it!" She gave Ron a peck on the cheek. "Go on ahead. He'll probably already making those cookies."
"Uhm, okay? Just a minute, right?" Ron gulped. He didn't like being alone around Drew. He still had a scabby bit where his horn had stabbed him, and the blond just all around felt bad about not being able to help.
"Yup! You'll barely even miss me." With a nod, his girlfriend skipped off in the direction of the hanger.
"...okay. You can do this. Everything will be fine," Ron coached himself as he kept walking for the kitchen. "Just 'cause the last time you two had one-on-one time things were on a bad road doesn't mean things will be the same. Right? Right. It'll just be for a minute, anyway…"
Kim dug around in the back seat of her car. She could've sworn that she'd tossed her ethics textbook in her car. She'd planned on doing some homework later on in the day. It should be-..
Suddenly her Kimmunicator burst to life. In the holographic video sat Wade, drinking a soda per usual. He was lazily typing away with little care for the world. Must've been a pretty boring day all-around.
"What's the sitch?" Kim asked, curious. It had been quiet on the world-saving front that day. Maybe something big was going down?
"There's a hit on the site," Wade said, strangely bored. "Nothing, really; just some lost hikers in your general area. Just a couple minute flight from you was where they were last seen."
Oh. Not exactly the world-shattering event she was expecting.
"So they need an extra set of eyes?" Kim murmured in thought.
"Pretty much." He shrugged. "Flying around from your vantage point? Should be super easy."
The redhead thought about it for a minute. It was an easy mission. Absurdly easy. Two minute flight there, a couple of minutes to search, two minute flight back… Easiest mission she'd had in weeks.
But…
She was supposed to watch Drew and make sure he didn't do anything reckless, or have a freak out that might get him in trouble with GJ. Kim knew that there was a close eye being kept on the situation. In fact, to her frustration, odds were that Doctor Director had enough clues to piece things together. The woman wasn't stupid.
So, she couldn't leave Drew alone.
...wait. Ron. Ron would be there. So it wouldn't be like he was alone. And Shego was just a few rooms down! That didn't really matter as she knew that she could depend on Ron. Heck, they might not even notice she was gone! Easy peasy mission? No big! Just a quick in and out. A few minutes would be nothing.
And it would give her some much-needed practice. Ron could do it himself no problem. She should be able to do the same.
"...okay. I'll take it. Ron's busy right now, but for this? I don't need to bother him. So…" She hopped into the front seat and turned her car on. "What are the coordinates?"
Ron quietly sidled his way to the kitchen. He was being slow, methodical. Drew was super on edge. And he didn't like Ron. So the blond surprising him was a baaaaad idea.
Shortly, after a minute of scraping himself along the wall, he found his way to the kitchen. Ron peeked around the doorway to see what was going on. Get some recon to mission control.
Drew was standing in the kitchen, staring at the counter. Laiden on it were a variety of ingredients: flour, butter, sugar… But that was all he was doing. Staring, like it would magically transform into baked goods. Not moving a muscle. Even his flowers were perfectly still!
It was a liiiiiiittle freaky.
KP said she would be right behind him. Any second now she would come back. Why shouldn't he wait until she came?
...he'd agreed to help watch Drew. It wouldn't be fair to pile it all on Kim. He could at least figure out what in the world Drew was doing.
With that in mind, the blond took a careful step into the kitchen. Drew didn't even acknowledge him, his focus still on the ingredients.
Ron coughed.
Drew tensed up a bit, some of vines turning to 'look' at him, but otherwise there was still no reaction.
Maybe he should be more direct?
"Soooo… Whatcha doin'?" Ron inquired, taking a short step towards the mutated man.
"I'm waiting," Drew grunted.
Ron waited a few moments for anything more. When it was clear the blue man wasn't going to say anything else to that, he asked more intently, "For what? You know that stuff can't bake itself!"
The other man growled in frustration. "Shego told me to bake cookies, but she didn't say what kind!"
"Ohhhh." Well, that had an easy answer! "You should totally bake hamantaschen!"
"Hamantaschen… The Jewish cookie? Baking that outside of the holidays?!" Drew gave him a look that Ron was pretty sure meant that he thought Ron was dumb. "That's ridiculous! I don't have any preserves except blueberry! And why would Shego want that kind of cookie?"
"Everyone likes hamantaschen. And blueberries will be fine!" Ron skipped over to the counter, the idea of the traditional cookies exciting him. "Here. I'll totally help! Let's bake those cookies together!"
Drew shuddered and snarled, but apparently decided to listen to Ron as he suddenly pulled cream cheese from the fridge and the preserves from the shelf. He slammed them down and grabbed a bowl from the shelf. Seeing that he had that part under control, Ron nodded and went over to the oven.
He turned it on to the perfect temperature for cookies and cheered, "Booyah! Totally makin' some awesome food!" Drew sneered at him but said nothing as he began measuring things out the wrong way. Like, a scoop too much of flour and half a stick too little of butter bad! Ron's eyes widened as he cried out, "Dude, you're doing it wrong!"
A snort erupted from the blue man. "I'm following my family's recipe. Passed down through five generations!"
Ron tilted his head and uttered, "Okay, the recipe I've got is from a box. But!" He raised a finger in the air. "I bet it's still a better recipe! Awesome taste!"
"Nnnnngh…" Drew's teeth clicked together. "You think your box mix recipe is better than generations of Lipsky perfection?"
"C'mon! You haven't even tried it!" Ron complained.
"You haven't tried mine either," the other man said flatly.
"Okay, so, compromise. We'll bake my recipe first, then if you still think yours is better we'll bake yours," the sidekick suggested.
"Nnnnngh…" Drew clenched his fists and flowers, shaking for some reason, before he emptied out the mixing bowl in a huff. "Fine! What's your so-called 'superior' recipe?"
"Good!" Ron tapped a finger to his head as he tried to remember the ingredient amounts. "I think it was four cups of flour… One cup of sugar… Two bars of butter…"
Shego was resisting letting her eye twitch.
"And your father, you said he was a mechanic? Did he go to school at all?" the snobby wench on the other end of the video call asked in a high-and-mighty voice.
"He was both self-taught and apprenticed," she answered, managing to keep the snark out of her voice.
Again the woman's face twisted in distaste. Just like it had for most of Shego's answers.
"You don't seem to have much of a pedigree," the woman said as she adjusted the off-kilter bun her hair was in.
"Yeah, I'm not much of a quality bitch," Shego couldn't stop herself from saying.
The woman looked taken aback, then coughed. "...I suppose we both just had a verbal faux pas."
"Let's roll with that," the green woman said, trying to relax at the persnickety woman's sudden admittance of fault, even if it was on both of them.
This was not what Shego had imagined this little interview would be like. Instead of basic general questions about her GPA and other boring school stuff that could be wrapped up in no time flat, they were doing a literal interview. Digging into the nitty-gritty of her life, back to her grandparents even! Jobs, backgrounds, qualifications… If she had realized it would be like this, she would've reconsidered going to Upperton. But she had already started it all. Might as well coast to the end.
As the other woman looked through her papers, apparently trying to get back on track after those verbal hiccups, Shego checked the clock on her monitor.
Ugh! A half-hour already? They hadn't even gotten to talking about Shego yet!
It was a good thing she'd tricked Kimmie into watching Drew. At this rate it might take at least another hour before this stupid thing was wrapped up!
"So, Miss Shego, I see that you have four brothers…" The other woman was looking very intently at the paper in her hand. Probably trying to keep from looking at the green woman at all. "What are their current occupations?"
"Three of them are bums leeching off of the city," Shego said bluntly. "The fourth is the manager at a Bueno Nacho."
The woman blinked a few times, then looked at Shego with a confused gaze. "It says here they're a superhero team. Team Go."
An eye roll escaped from Shego's control. "Yeah, that too. But they're mostly bums."
"So…" Suddenly the woman was looking around like she was afraid of getting caught doing something. Then, her eyes bright and excited, she asked, "Does that mean you were a superhero too?"
That was… Strange. What was this lady's deal?
"Yeah, when I was a kid," she snarked in reply.
A gleeful chuckle burst out of the interviewer. Practically bouncing in her seat, she rushed, "You fought bad guys and put them in jail! Ohhh, that's so exciting!" She leaned into the camera, all her attention focused on Shego. "Tell me what it was like! Fighting crime by night, going to school during the day… It must have been so much fun!"
Ohhhh boy. She was one of those people. Superhero groupie. How dumb could you be?
...but this was something Shego could capitalize on. The woman was clearly enamored with the idealized superhero life. Probably never even thought about the grim realities of no sleep and bad grades from no time to do homework, not to even start on all the injuries and close calls. It didn't matter, though; all Shego had to do was feed into her fantasy. It was pretty obvious she was striking out most of the interview. If she could just hook this woman with her superhero past…!
"Oh yeah, tons of fun," Shego said, not managing to keep all of the sarcasm from her voice. Thinking back on some of her tamer so-called 'adventures', she started, "One of my favorite takedowns was this big ol' convention thing that a group of villains threw once in Go City. Just, so dumb. What kind of villain with half a brain would go somewhere that heroes would know you would be at? Anyway, we split up to surround the building…"
Kim growled in frustration as she took a quick glance around the boulder she had ducked behind. She pulled back just as an energy blast hit where she had been peeking, sending shards of rock splintering across the area. Looking back to check on the climbers, she was relieved to see that they were still calm, albeit understandably worried.
She pulled up Wade on her Kimmunicator and said hostilely, "'It's just a couple of hikers' you said. 'Couple minute mission'. Right? Just a few minutes?"
Wade cringed and defensively said, "How was I supposed to know they were Dementor's targets and they were trying to dodge him until their project was approved? The request only said they were lost hikers! I couldn't tell that Dementor made the request!"
Kim and the two hikers had been pinned down in a small crag. Dementor and his henches had positioned themselves at the opening, not even bothering to take cover with how well they had everything covered. It was a pretty sticky situation they were in. The redhead could've REALLY used a hand from her beau.
"Hyu vould be BETTER OFF giving up, yah, Freulein?" she heard Dementor call out. "It vould make things SO MUCH EASIER if hyu just handed over mine hostages."
"Ugh!" Kim tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I wasn't supposed to be gone this long!" She looked into her backpack, pulling out her sticky lipstick and a newer gadget, a miniature energy shield. "We should really have a way to vet who uses our site."
"It's on my to-do list," Wade agreed, exasperated.
Kim let her head fall against the boulder as she simultaneously thought on how to get out of the current sitch and the mess she left behind. "I completely blew it this time."
"They don't have you yet! I know you can get out of this, even without Ron and Rufus."
"Not that." She sighed through her nose. "Shego left me in charge of Drew and I botched it. Got caught up in proving myself that I let them down."
Wade gave her a sympathetic look. "I'm sure they'll understand."
"They'll never leave me in charge again."
"Uhm, no offense," one of the hikers said, nervously looking between the boulder and Kim, "but could you maybe angst when we aren't at risk of getting dusted?"
"Okay, fine. I get it." Kim shook her head and gave Wade a bitter smile. "I guess the only real good thing is that Shego should be done with her interview now. I remember mine; a total breeze!"
"So, you have a plan?" Wade asked.
"Yup. Gotta go. Need both my hands for this."
"Good luck!" With that, Wade shut the connection down.
"You two make sure to stay put," Kim ordered the two hikers. One, the complainer, nodded hesitantly after a moment while the other did so enthusiastically. She took position as a sprinter on a race track would. Her entire focus was on calculating and imagining the various trajectories she would need to make her way safely through the veritable minefield that was the armed henchmen. She hoped her excellent memory of the little she saw of the crag was right.
A few seconds' pause, making sure it was total silence, before she kicked into action. She launched herself ahead, from behind the boulder to the jagged wall a good dozen feet away. Before the henches could react, she kicked off from that rock across the way to the opposite wall, gaining a good ten feet between the villains and herself.
"Vhat are hyu vaiting for?! SHOOT HER!" Dementor screeched, hoisting his own laser grenade launcher into action.
At the call of their boss, the dozen or so henches resumed shooting. Each of their blasts were simply too slow. Mistimed in catching the heroine. She zig-zagged her way through the small rocky valley, never stopping and continuously jumping between the walls. In a couple of breaths she was in punching range. A quick powerful flip from the last section of wall saw her bringing a hammer kick down on the nearest hench...
"Yum!" Ron's mouth was watering as he pulled the fresh batch of cookies from the oven. Carefully he set the hot sheet on the stove. Rufus began blowing on them, clearly wanting a few for himself.
Drew stood back, grumped up and annoyed. "Now that we've made your monstrosity of a cookie recipe, can we make mine?"
"Oh! Uh…" Ron fought the flush as he admitted, "Yeah, I totally dropped some sticks of butter on the floor when we were trying to cream it. I don't think there'll be enough to bake yours."
A vein, big and scary, poked out the side of Drew's head. "What."
Ron desperately redirected, "We don't need those cookies! These will blow your mind!"
Rufus was now nibbling on a cookie. He looked at Drew and gave a big fat thumbs-up.
"Nnnnngh…" Drew shoved Ron out of the way and snatched up a cookie. He unceremoniously tossed it into his mouth and began chewing. Ron still had no idea how he could eat with those monster teeth. He made a spitting motion and growled, "Just what I expected! Trash!" A sneer was directed at Ron. "No surprise considering it was one of your recipes!"
Another swipe at Ron! The entire time they were waiting, if it wasn't awkward silence it was a dig at Ron. No interruption at all.
...well. They were alone, he was curious… Why not ask?
"Okay, dude, I think maybe we could, uh, talk about the elephant in the room..." Ron knew he was abusing the power he had over Drew. But there was no other way he could get the answer. Only Drew knew it, after all. "...what's your damage with me? You, like, constantly harp on me and how I'm not good enough for Kim. I mean, like, yeah… Ditto, that's an inside-my-head thing and you make it an outside-my-head thing so what gives?"
Drew shook again, his teeth clicking loudly. His eyes were squeezed shut like he was trying to ignore Ron. "Nnnnnngh…"
"C'mon… Ya gotta tell me!" The blond nudged Drew in the side with an elbow. The other man flinched away, his vines encircling him protectively as he shook harder.
Ron frowned. Man, it must be pretty big with how the other man was acting! Some kind of huge secret. Something that-..
A flash went through Ron's mind.
"Oh no… Don't tell me…" Eyes wide, he postulated vaguely, "KP and I are secretly siblings!"
Drew froze, a strange look of bafflement crossing his face. Then, uncurling and snarling, he said, "What?! I realize you're a moron, but that's almost unbelievable at how dumb you are."
Ron dropped the idea instantly, then picked up his second most likely one. "Am I one of your secret projects using time travel somehow?"
"No!" Drew's fists were balled up and the vines were now grabbing random objects and crushing them into misshapen piles. "Time travel is stupid! Practically impossible without some magical doohickey manipulating the fabric of spacetime."
Ron slumped down, pretty much out of ideas. "I don't get it! Why don't you like me then? I'm a nice guy! KP and I fit like a glove! We're an unbeatable team!" He stood straight up and crossed his arms, deciding to try a different approach. "You need to accept that Kim and I're partners for life. You have no reason to say n-.."
"You're like me!" Drew suddenly shouted loudly, his vines all clumping together tightly. "THAT'S why I hate you with my daughter!"
Ron blinked a few times. "You hate us together… Because the two of us are alike?"
"YES!" The other man's teeth flashed as he gave a full-tooth snarl at Ron. "You're at the bottom of the social ladder. Stupid boy, pretending that he knows what he's doing! Poor future potential, complete idiot; it's as obvious as day that you have the same thoughts! Know the exact same thing! BAH!"
He slammed a fist down against the counter. To Ron's surprise, it cracked under the pressure of the hit. The blond cringed; this wasn't exactly what he was expecting.
Trying to calm Drew down, Ron assured him, "I'm not pretending at anything! I've been trying to get my life together, for me and KP's future. Passing all my classes, helping save the world… You have to give me some credit!"
Drew sneered. "You'll end up doing the same thing I did to Shego: dragging Kimberly down like the dead weight you are."
"Dude…" Ron scratched the back of his head. This felt like it was all over his head. Definitely should've kept a professional around when diving into the mind of a barely sane person. Shaking his head, the blond claimed, "It won't be like that! And it wasn't like that with you and Shego. No one dragged anyone down."
"Nnnnngh…"
"You and Shego totally work together. Just like Kim and I do! Two perfectly symmetrical teams! And you and Shego being together can't be all bad." Ron put a bright smile on his face as he said, "After all, you did make KP!"
Drew burst out, eyes narrowed, "Oh, and that makes it better so you can date my daughter?!" He gave a heavy breath out, his tongue wavering about in the weird duel waves that freaked Ron out. The mutated man then hissed, "My daughter deserves better than a lackwit buffoon that's on par with her father!"
It was pretty obvious this was a losing battle. Whatever weird ideas Drew had about Ron seemed lodged in pretty tight. So Ron again decided to appeal to the programming. Underhanded, but it could maybe help Drew in another way? "You will accept me and KP together."
Drew's eyes widened and he began shaking again.
Ron repeated firmly, "You have got to accept us as a couple. Together forever."
The blue man hunched over, now grabbing on to his horns in some form of mild panic.
The blond frowned. Maybe he was pushing this too far…? He looked to Rufus for a bit of quick nonverbal advice. The mole rat looked between Drew and Ron, nibbling his nails nervously.
...one more time. It looked like he was breaking Drew's brain a bit, but sometimes it had to hurt to get better. Buuuuuut too much hurt was a no-go. "KP and I will be a couple forever and ever. Accept it, dude!"
"I… I…" Drew's eyes were scrunched together again. Then, suddenly, they shot open as he stood straight up. Everything screamed hostile in the span of a moment as he bellowed, "I do not have to listen to you, you buffoon!"
Suddenly Ron was dodging around the small kitchen as some of his vines threw small bits of crushed-up debris at him. To his relief, it was just those little annoyances he was trying to not get hit by. Even with how angry Drew was it seemed like he still had some control over himself.
"You think you can just waltz in here and make me accept that you're somehow good enough for my daughter?! That, that I'll just roll over and let you ruin my daughter's life!? What in the world makes you think that?!" Drew stomped a couple of steps towards Ron and stuck a finger out accusingly at him. "I could never approve of someone as lackluster as you! I don't care about what you think or want me to do! I'll-.."
Suddenly Drew froze. Completely. A goofy expression plastered itself on his face as he seemed to have a weird blue screen.
Then he laughed. A small strange strangled chuckle. It was followed by another, slightly louder one. Then, with zero warning, Drew grabbed at his face as he was overtaken by deranged laughter. His back hunched as he curled up in a laughing ball, barely able to stay standing.
This was weird. Really weird. Like, what?
Ron took a teensy step towards Drew and ducked down to try and look him in the eyes. "Hey, uh, are you okay…?"
A vine suddenly grabbed him and dragged him so he was right in front of Drew. Ron activated his MMP, the blue glow cascading and flowing around him as a mystical wind lightly blew his hair around. He began to wrench himself free, when his face was grabbed and forced forward. Drew's gaze, insane and bright with a strange twitch to his lips, drilled into him. The blood red sclera and jagged needle teeth so close to Ron's face made him flinch, and he couldn't ignore the horns digging into his forehead.
"I don't have to listen to you!" Drew practically gushed, his hot breath washing over Ron all gross-like. "Your opinion doesn't matter in the least! I can do whatever I want and there's nothing you can do about it!" He suddenly straightened up and began waving with his hands. "I don't have to listen to you! I, I don't have to listen to Shego! I don't have to listen to ANYONE! Not even…" he whispered, almost seeming afraid to be heard "...him."
Ron forced the vine away from him enough that he could wiggle free. Rufus was doing his part, chewing through the vine using his own MMP. As Drew was overtaken by another laughing fit, the blond broke free and flipped backwards away from the currently out of his mind man. Rufus skittered across the floor to a different side of the room, clearly ready to join Ron in subduing Drew.
After about a minute of intense laughter and vaguely flailing vines, Ron relaxed his stance. It didn't seem like the blue man was going to assault him anymore. He was clearly deranged at the moment.
That tanked! Here he was, left in charge of Drew while KP was probably in the bathroom and Shego was doing her interview thing, and he wrecked it! Totally blew Drew's mind! He was gonna be in for it when Shego got done…!
Unsure of what to do, Ron just kinda stood there, sharing a shrug with his mole rat buddy.
It was a good ten or so minutes later that saw Drew finally calming down. His insane laughter was now merely insane chuckles as he began to stand up straighter. There was a strange sort of glee on his face, a fervor that was kinda scary.
"I can do whatever I want!" Drew repeated excitedly. "Anything!" He looked around until his eyes settled on the fresh batch of hamantaschen. "Do you know what I want to do now, buffoon?"
"Uhm…" Ron squinted as he replied, "Eat cookies…?"
"No!" A cloud of vines descended on the plate of cookies. All the cookies ended up in a vine. With a vicious sneer Drew crushed every single cookie to dust. As Ron gaped in shock, the mutated man cheered, "That was what I wanted to do to your garbage cookies!"
Ron dropped to his knees, his heart piledrived to his stomach. Dramatically he asked, "What did those cookies ever do to you?!"
"Exist," was the simple answer Drew gave as he danced in place. The blue man paused again, then cried, "I know what I want to do!" His vines burst into action, seeming to grab a variety of ingredients from around the kitchen.
Ron ventured, mindful of the vines, "And that is…?"
Drew gave a vicious smile in reply.
Kim rolled, gasping in air as she dodged another series of blindingly fast strikes from her foe. The orange gloved fist flew by her head with a follow-up punch. She steadied herself on one of the few larger boulders in the crag as her opponent easily balanced on two smaller rocks.
A blow had yet to land, thank goodness, but it seemed more a matter of when, not if. She hopped back to her feet and resumed a defensive posture. A snarl crossed her face as she looked at the villain in front of her.
"Hyu look like hyu are RUNNING out of STEAM!" Dementor cackled as he flexed his fist. "I vill BEST HYU, zen I vill TAKE ze scientists back to my lair vhere I vill EXTRACT ZE INFORMATION I need!"
His confidence was annoying. Really annoying. Normally Dementor was about as hard to take down as his henchmen, who were all currently scattered around in unconscious clumps. But this time...
A super suit. Dementor had gotten his hands on a super suit. Not the one he obsessed over, Wade's design, but a super suit nonetheless. It was a mostly dark orange affair with strange buttons and zippers plastered about almost at random. Even though it looked strange it had definitely changed the playing field. It had shifted the battle into Dementor's favor initially with the enhanced strength and agility and had kept upping his odds since. The one-directional energy shield, while more limited than Wade's, still gave him an extra edge whenever Kim broke through his guard.
Kim was running out of options. She'd gone through all her forms, tried all the tricks she knew, used up most of her gadgets…! The only things that still had left were the sticky lipstick and the miniature energy barrier she had pulled out when she took down the henchmen initially.
How was she going to get out of this? Disappointment churned in her gut as she thought about how if Ron were here… He could do it. All of it. Himself. Why have her even bother to come along? Couldn't she do anything anymore?
Dementor gave a condescending chuckle. "I can zee hyu haff GIVEN UP! Hyu are NO LONGER a MATCH for ze great PROFESSOR DEMENTOR! Especially vithout ze clown!"
...no. No, he was wrong. Kim never gave up. Ever.
She'd come close a few times. The sitch at Bueno Nacho headquarters being the closest. But in the end, Kimberly Anne Possible fought on.
As she would now.
A fire lit in her gut as she took in her options. That shield Dementor had protected him from most of her attacks while he also used it as a battering ram when she got close enough. It was hard light based like Wade's, so it acted like a force ejector. Everything bounced right off of it. The only real difference between it and Wade's shield is that this one formed at the edges first before filling everything else in that split-second of activation.
...wait.
An idea popped into her head. It was a bit of a long shot, but if she could get the angle just right…
A smirk crossed her face. All she needed to do…
Cockily Kim relaxed her stance. Shaking her head she said, "As if! You wish you were on my level. Even with that suit you're just as lame of a villain as ever."
Kim was certain the veins in Dementor's neck were bulging as he growled, "VAT vas ZAT?!"
She spelled it out for him. "You're. Just. As. Lame. As. Ever."
"ARGH!" As she'd hoped, he charged her, barrier lighting up in front of him.
Kim tensed her legs. She waited one. Two. Three seconds. Just the right moment…!
When he was bearing down on her she jumped into action. Using all of her strength she leapt over the barrier Dementor had up. The barrier protected him up to a certain point to where she couldn't directly get a hit on him. But if she was fast enough…!
As she had hoped, she landed behind and past the barrier before he even registered what had happened. He began turning to counter her, but was simply too slow. She struck her leg out in a sweeping kick, hoping to knock him off-kilter enough to drop his shield.
Her leg hit home. She hooked his left leg and twisted, knocking him off-kilter. As she hoped, he dropped his shield so he could maintain his balance, dropping to a knee and one hand.
He recovered quickly, turning to Kim and reactivating the shield. In that split second, that tiny window when his shield was forming, she acted.
Her own miniature shield burst to life, cutting through and fighting against Dementor's own. It ended up a stalemate, the air open between them. A clean opening to the villain.
He gasped at her, confused, as she swiftly shoved her hand in the small gap and aimed. A quip was on the tip of her tongue but she squashed it. That sort of showboating was something she needed to get past. Instead, she simply smirked and hit the button for her sticky lipstick.
Confusion turned to surprise and shock as pink goo shot out of the small tube. Kim twisted it in as many directions as she could manage, making sure to coat him thoroughly. Both shields dropped as Dementor's limbs became completely covered and unusable.
"VAT?! NO!" He struggled in the sticky mess but found he was completely immobilized. Practically howling he screamed, "Zis iz IMPOSSIBLE!"
"No, you have that wrong," Kim said, trying to hide her heavy breathing as she walked by him back towards the boulder, now barely paying him any mind. More to herself than him, she noted, "It's Kim Possible, and I can do anything."
"Don't you worry one bit about your interview!" the gushing woman on the other end of Shego's video call said. "You've aced it!"
"I figured as much." The former villainess resisted chuckling. Easy as pie. All she'd needed after that rough start was a few stories of her hero work and a brief look-through of her academic record. Everything before all that was completely forgotten to the ecstatic administrator.
Starry-eyed, the other woman said, "I'm excited at the opportunity to see you on campus. Ohhh…!" She clasped her hands together. "First we get Kim Possible, then we get a retired teen hero! Oh! Maybe it's a trend!" Her elbows locked as she suddenly cradled her face. "Can you imagine Upperton being a hub of superheroes?! That would be amazing!"
"Yeah…" Shego checked the clock. Damn. Nearly an hour and a half. She wished there was time and opportunity to rip into this hero worshipper, but Kimmie and her buffoon would need relieved soon and she needed to stay in this lady's good graces. Looking back at the interviewer, she asked, "So, are we done here?"
The woman perked up and looked at something to her left. "Oh! Yes! Goodness, we went over by nearly a half-hour!"
Shego resisted rolling her eyes. So they had a set time for the interview and didn't bother telling her? How stupid was this process?
The woman started to reassume an air of superiority. Curtly she said, "I expect you'll hear about whether you were accepted or rejected sometime in the next month. Though…" another small excited sparkle came to her eyes "...I'll be rooting for you!" She then reached over to the computer and pressed a few buttons.
The connection broke.
Shego sat for a few moments before giving out a heavy sigh.
That was way more work than she'd expected to do. Recounting her old heroing past tended to put her in a sour mood. It was a terrible time of her life. She was glad it was all behind her.
...but the bad feelings were very much overrun by the satisfaction of knowing she pretty much had her college admission in the bag. In no time flat she would be bothering her little girl on campus.
Thinking on the various possibilities that would include, she got up to head back to the main living area. She'd left everyone alone for too long. Now she really did think she should've given Kimmie a heads-up. Her and her dorky fiancé might've had a date or something planned.
Oh well. No point in worrying about it now.
Just as she walked into the large open room, Princess came rushing in from the hallway to the hangers.
She looked a bit messier than she had earlier. Her hair was a bit windswept, and her clothes had a layer of dust and grime on them now. Not to mention she was out of breath.
"Shego!" Kimmie paused in her run, stopping just in front of Shego. "I'm sorry it took so long for me to get back! I went on a quick mission that ended up being not so quick…"
The green woman blinked a few times. Wait. So Cupcake left. Her dork wasn't with her. Kimmie would definitely not leave Drew by himself. Which meant…
"What have you guys been doing while I was gone?" Princess asked before she took a couple of deep breaths in.
"I literally just finished my interview." Shego said sharply. Waving her hand as Kimmie began trying to talk, she growled, "So what I'm getting from this is that Drew was left alone with the sidekick for the last however long." She glared daggers at her daughter. "I expected better from you."
Princess looked crestfallen. "...I know."
Shego sighed and shook her head. "Well, whatever. Not like we can do anything about it now." She turned to her left and began making her way to the kitchen. "C'mon. Knowing those two idiots, they probably got wrapped up in a pile of dough or something. Or, if they're not there, Drew is doing experiments that your pet idiot mentioned in passing."
Kimmie trailed behind her, clearly kicking herself for her mistake. Shego was trying to let it roll off her back, but a faint burn of resentment was roiling in her gut. She'd been carrying most of the burden of watching and rehabilitating Drew. All she'd asked for was one break. One! And she still didn't get it. For all they knew, the two were bloody smears on the wall!
To her annoyance, a faint glow had come to her hands at her anger. She squashed it, hoping Kimmie didn't notice.
It was down the last hallway to the kitchen that the familiar, absolutely awful music began filtering down in an echo. Shego resisted a shudder as unwanted memories danced through her head.
Snowman Hank.
Why were those two idiots playing Snowman Hank music? Were they trying to rebond over it? Were they purposely trying to get on Shego's nerves?
...not Doc. Not with how he was. Kimmie's fiancé must've put him up to it.
Shego rounded the corner and stopped short. It was so sudden that Kimmie ran into her.
"Hey! What-.." Her princess cut herself off as she saw exactly what Shego was staring at.
White. There was some kind of white powder hanging on everything. The countertops, the table, the chairs… Even the stove hood had junk on it!
There were several strange types of desserts scattered across the table. A strange-looking cake, no-bake cookies, some kind of pudding, what looked to be flan…
The sidekick was standing to the side, looking nervous, just as covered in white as everything else. His pet was on his shoulder, sneezing like mad.
And in the middle of the chaos Drew was dancing and singing. He had a tray of cookies in the grasp of some of his vines as he kept tune with the music. His singing was just as bad as ever.
Shego turned an evil eye to Ron. That idiot, putting Doc up to this. The second Drew calmed down she was going to roast both of them!
The blond noticed the two women and cringed. "Hi! Uhm, yeah, I can explain…"
"We leave you two alone for two hours and you still can't resist doing something stupid!" Shego growled. To a quick spark of confusion, Drew didn't react to her obvious expression of anger at him, continuing to hum that awful music. She spared an angry glance at Kimmie. "If you'd been here none of this would've happened!"
"I know, I know…" the redhead said defensively with a note of annoyance. Her daughter walked over to the table and wiped a finger across it, coming back covered in white. "What is this stuff?"
"Flour," Ron supplied. "Drew threw an entire five pound bag around the room."
"Why?" Shego stared at the blond.
"To make it seem like the holidays!" her husband suddenly giggled. He stopped dancing and set the tray on the stove. Then he turned to the two women, eyes sparkling.
"So, what did the dork say that made you think he wanted this?" Shego said, waving a hand around the kitchen.
"Hm?" Drew tilted his head and snorted. "Why would I listen to him? Ohhhh no…" A wicked smile came to his face. "I did this because I wanted to."
Shego blinked, certain she'd misheard him. "You did this… Because you wanted to?"
He nodded enthusiastically. "I felt festive! And who doesn't like a little holiday spirit?"
"And nothing Ron said influenced you?" Princess seemed to understand how big this was as Shego gaped at her husband.
"Oh, he tried. But, well, he's a buffoon. I don't care what he says."
So it was only in relation to Kimmie's fiancé? Disappointment churned in Shego's gut. She had gotten her hopes up too early.
"Whatever," she said flatly. Rubbing her head as she was starting to get a mild headache, she demanded, "Stop messing with that junk and start cleaning this mess up."
"No."
Shego stopped cold. Eyes wide, she looked back at him. "What?"
"No!" He crossed his arms as he defiantly began to pull more baking supplies out with his vines. "I don't care what you or anyone says right now! I'm baking! I wouldn't care if, if Lord Gemini walked in right now. I want to bake butterless brownies, so I'm going to bake butterless brownies."
Shego stood in awe. "You're straight-up telling me no?"
"Yes," Drew said firmly, staring her down like he expected an argument.
Instead, tears biting at her eyes, Shego launched herself at him and wrapped him up in a hug.
Kim and Ron stood back as Shego buried her head in Drew's shoulder and cried quietly.
"Sorry I was gone for so long," she apologized as she took a step towards Ron. "I took on what was supposed to be a quick mission that went pear-shaped fast."
"I was wondering where you were, KP!" Ron said, slapping his forehead. "I thought you got stuck on the toilet or something."
Kim blinked, then gave him a bright smile. "You're so weird."
"Never be normal," Ron agreed. He looked awkwardly at the married couple, who were now sharing a soft intimate hug. "We should probably leave them alone, huh?"
His fiancée and Rufus both nodded. KP said, "Yeah. They deserve some alone time now."
The three of them slowly backed out of the room, trying to stay as quiet as possible. It wasn't until they were halfway down the hallway that they resumed a normal walking pace.
"This is amazing," KP breathed, acting like she'd been hit in the face with a sledgehammer.
"I know, right? Things might actually start getting normal again!" Ron excitedly noted.
"Yeah. It sucks that we can't really celebrate it tonight," the redhead said sadly as they walked into the living area.
"What?!" Ron tilted his head. "Why not?"
"You do realize that you'll still have to help Drew clean up the kitchen, right?" Kim asked pointedly. "That's going to take a while."
Ron paused and did a double-take at himself. He'd completely forgotten about the mess! "Awwww man! No breaks even with this awesome breakthrough?"
"Do you really think Shego would do that?"
"Nuh-uh!" Rufus answered from his shoulder.
"So much for spending some time vegging," Ron grumbled.
"It'll be fine." Kim carefully kissed him on the cheek, clearly trying to avoid the flour. "I can help out."
A bright smile latched on to Ron's face. "Booyah! Cleaning with my fiancée? That'll make it seem like hang-out time!"
KP chuckled. "It should be fine. Great, even. I mean…" she took the few steps to the wall and leaned against it "...he's getting better. This was a huge step. He, he might…" a choking gasp was followed by a few tears "...he might be able to start being him again."
Ron's brows scrunched together. "Yeah… Things will be amazing!"
"I was starting to give up," Kim admitted. "Nothing seemed to be working."
"Good thing I was here and not good enough for you!" he said with a laugh, walking over to stand by her.
"Is that what broke the programming? Really?" Kim wiped at her eyes as she simultaneously gave an eye roll. "Ugh!"
"Hey, it's fine. All that matters is that things are going to be better," Ron said.
She gave a brilliant smile, full of hope and optimism that was all KP. "Yeah. Things will actually be better now."
A/N: The finals for the Fannies are underway! This fic and the universe it's in are nominated for a TON of Fannies! Best AU Fic (S Plus D Equals K), Best Drakgo (S Plus D Equals K), Best Romance (Turkey Day), Most Unlikely/Unique (S Plus D Equals K), Best One-Shot (Turkey Day), and, the big one to me, Best Series (S Plus D Equals K series). Voting is fairly straightforward. You can either PM the KP Fannie Committee account on here or email kimmunityfannies at yahoo dot com. It's that easy! Just mark down the name of the category and the fic that you want to nominate. It's the finals! Whoo~