As the days went on the council started to make plans for a royal wedding; normally it would be the King and his consort planning the wedding - but as Ben isn't cooperating the council have taken it upon themselves to start making plans. This started to make me feel even worse; they might as well just crown Uma already and be done with it. The only thing that was stopping them was Ben's insistence of a DNA test beforehand.
Ben kept promising me in private that if it is discovered that he isn't the father then changes will be made and they will get married as soon as possible however I wasn't very hopeful. I still hadn't been able to find the words to tell Ben about our little one - he was under so much stress as it is. Yes I knew that he would have to know soon enough; I just needed more time to get my head around the fact that I was now a mother.
As time kept going by I found myself being consumed with guilt as I still hadn't told Ben and I found myself even more distant with him. I felt so confused and conflicted but I knew one thing - I couldn't keep up this pretence for much longer.
"Mal-" I heard Ben say after he walked into our rooms as I was sitting on a bench next to the window looking out to the picturesque rose garden below.
"Hmm" I grunted as I looked up at him to see a blank expression on his face.
"Can we talk?" he asked.
"Yeah"' I answered as he sat down next to me on my right hand side.
"I feel like I am losing you" he said sadly as he put both of his hand in mine.
"What makes you feel like that?" I muttered.
"You feel distant" he advised; and I looked down. "I know that a lot is going on at the moment" I heard him say.
"That is an understatement" I replied as I looked up at him. When our gazes met I felt the words on the tip of my tongue but I couldn't bring myself to say them. I couldn't bear to bring anymore burden to Ben; yes it hasn't been confirmed whether he has fathered Uma's baby - so technically Ben has two children at the moment.
"Mal I am trying to make this better" he urged.
"How are you doing that?" I asked harshly. "You have openly told your council that-" I started but stopped as I started to feel a lump start to form in my throat. "You will marry Uma if the baby is yours" I reminded him. "I don't-" I said but stopped when my eyes started to water.
"Yes?" He prompted.
"I don't even know why I am still here to be honest" I admitted.
"Mal" he said sadly. "Don't talk like that" he begged. "I don't want to lose you" he urged as his eyes started to water.
"I don't want to lose you either" I replied; and I suddenly found the strength to tell him about our little one. "Ben there is something I need to-" I started but stopped when Uma walked into the room.
"Oh there you are!" She sang as she walked up to us. "Husband" she said smugly as she winked at me.
"Uma I have told you to not call me that" Ben advised as he pulled his hands from mine and he wiped his eyes.
"Why?" She asked. "That is what you are" she added happily. "Or should I say going to be" she added. "Purple beat it!" She snapped at me as she gestured with her right thumb towards the door. "Me and Ben have to plan our wedding" she reminded me harshly.
"Mal doesn't have to leave!" Ben snapped back.
"No it's ok" I muttered as I stood up. I don't know why but things seemed to have been decided for me; and I now knew what I had to do - even though me and Ben wasn't going to like it. "I'll go" I advised as I started to leave the room.
"Mal wait-" I heard Ben call out to me.
"No Ben" I replied as I stood in the doorway and turned to look at the pair of them. "You apparently need to talk to Uma" I said before I quickly span around and left the room with the memory of Ben looking completely broken on my mind.