Later, Geiz wouldn't be able to explain how he held it together. In front of Sougo, Tsukuyomi, the others, his voice held strong as he held firmly to his ideals. This was their future, a future Sougo had worked hard to create for them to live peacefully. Nobody was allowed to interfere with that, and when the fight was won, he breathed a sigh of relief, a bit of weight gone from his shoulders. He had protected his friends, their way of life, and even though what he thought was his future was no longer in reach, he was still suffused with a sense of hope in the moment.

And yet-

He was alone that night, after Woz had disappeared and the novelty of messing with the Ride Watches had worn off. Sougo went home to his uncle, Tsukuyomi hitching a ride on the back of his bicycle, both of them turning around to wave goodbye and laughing when the bike wobbled. Geiz suppressed a smile and went back inside, brushing his teeth and washing his face, gingerly avoiding putting weight on one foot. He padded barefoot down the quiet corridor, opening the door to his darkened bedroom.

The curtains swayed softly, slowly in the warm night breeze. It was going to be a hot summer, he thought absently. Then his vision fell to his futon, surrounded by the dull moonlit glint of judo trophies.

All at once, it hit him. His shoulders heaved with the weight of his grief for the life he had forgotten, and the one he never got to live, and he barely made it to his mattress before falling to the floor. Tears and snot soaked into the navy pillowcase as he tucked his knees close to his chest, wrapping his arms around them tightly.

The memories of his two lives, intertwined, crushed him. He could remember his parents, both alive and dead at the same time, both quietly breathing in their bedroom down the hall, and ash and bones in the dirt. He remembered the fires, the heat of rebellion against tyranny bubbling through his blood, adrenaline rush so much more than any test or confession from a girl. He remembered (vividly, now) the strength of his Rider suit infusing every muscle in his body, how he could turn stone to rubble, leave a trail of monster corpses in his wake, like the rush he got from judo but so much more intense, so much more right-

He remembers kind, serious Tsukuyomi, willing to do anything to make things right, no memories but uncaring as long as she was able to help. He remembers watching her crumple to the ground as Swartz struck his fatal blow, giving her life to allow Sougo his opening for a final strike.

But most of all, he remembers Sougo. He remembers the righteous fury he had upon their first meeting, his resolve to kill the evil overlord stronger than iron. The realization that who he thought would be cruel and sadistic, turned out to be kind, and desperately lonely. The softening of his heart when he came to realize the Sougo he knew could never be what Geiz thought he was destined to be. The molten, joyous heat that pooled in his core when he was the focus of those warm eyes and kind words. His soft hands, so capable of dishing out violence, so talented with a sword, so firm while bandaging Geiz's wounds.

He remembered the gentleness of Sougo supporting his neck as he bled out, his vision blurring and his slowing heart feeling so full, as he tried to confess how he felt with his last breaths. Dying to protect Sougo was his destiny, he felt it in the very depths of himself, that it was what he truly came to the future to do. He called Sougo's name, asking him to become the overlord Geiz had dedicated his life to preventing the rise of. He knew things would be different.

Geiz's muscles locked up and shook violently as his stomach churned and he choked out another quiet sob. God, he had died in Sougo's arms. It was hard to think back, this part of his memory still blurred from his own perspective. The rough cotton texture of Sougo's shirt, the pain in his abdomen, the edges of his vision turning black. Then nothing, like when you're so tired late at night you can't even remember having fallen asleep the next morning.

Thanks to the actions of Kaito Daiki, though, he knew what had happened afterwards. Knew Sougo had manifested into Ohma Zi-O, saw him rupture the ground with sheer force of will, saw him effortlessly cut Swartz down like he was nothing, had always been nothing. Sougo had achieved the phenomenal cosmic power he had always dreamed of.

He had everything he had ever dreamed of around his waist, and could have continued to rule time and space with a gentle hand and an empathetic heart. And he traded it all away, to see his friends again. To give Geiz a chance at a normal life, a life where they could get to know each other without the weight of destiny hanging over their heads.

A fresh wave of grief wracked Geiz's body. By destroying his body and failing at judo, he had wasted that second chance Sougo had sacrificed everything for. He had already felt doomed to a meaningless existence without the dream he had worked hard for, and now with his regained memories, it only served to make him feel even worse. His injured foot throbbed in response, as if mocking him even further.

He tightened his fist, digging his blunt nails into his palm, relishing the clarity of the biting pain if only for a moment. When he opened his fingers again, dark crescents were pressed into the lines on his pale palm, thrown into a harsher contrast by the silver moonlight streaming into his bedroom. His eyelids were hot and swollen when he brushed away tears with the back of his hand.

He thought about seeing Sougo again tomorrow now, now that he knew. Where would he even begin? Sougo had been told he was an evil overlord in one timeline, but did he know the extent? Was it Geiz's responsibility to tell him he razed entire cities to the ground, burned Geiz's own parents to unrecognizable husks that fell to dust in his hands? That Sougo had the one thing he had always wanted, and had thrown it away for him?

How would he tell Sougo that he died for him? That he still would?

How did he expect to face Sougo again, with the knowledge of everything they had lost?