First, as always, thank you Lady Lily Anne for helping me keep this mess together, this seriously would be so much less fun, and much lower quality without your help-

Onward!

Pertinent information at the end of the chapter, this is something kinda personal.

I got this review two years ago, well after I'd written the first chapter on a whim:

Guest chapter 1 . Jun 13, 2016

I just needed to review again! I am so happy that you posted this! This is so good omg. The dialogue is believable and interesting, you have Klein's character nailed down, I'm loving our main protagonist's reimagined personality and relationship with her sister... cousin... it's just so good. I need more, I never get this excited for a new story but you have me so hyped. Remember me when this becomes one of Sao's most popular fanfiction stories. Your writing is definitely worthy of it.

I don't know who wrote this review, I have no idea who they are, but I wanted them to know that this ongoing story wouldn't have even had a second chapter if they hadn't said anything.

So, thanks, and congrats on a good guess, currently fourth from the top on follows, so your blessing in the popularity department was not misplaced. As always, be excellent to each other, and party on dudes.

I still can't believe they're making a third movie of that franchise...moving on!

Akihiko Kayaba was a genius, he was well aware of this fact and did his best to not let it guide him down the path of hubris, a path littered with the corpses of despots, tyrants, saints and messiahs alike. Being a genius he would make a hypothesis, an educated guess, and process projected outcomes that would near always turn out the way he had anticipated them to.

Unfortunately, being a genius, when he did make a mistake, rare as they may be, they had a tendency to be unmitigated disasters when they came to fruition.

For instance, his months of planning to introduce his first prototype AI meant for human interaction was stymied because he forgot to take several subtle background factors into the equation.

Namely, Kizmel had already been a part of the beta as an established quest NPC, Kirito had been aware of this for obvious reasons, and thus when Kizmel was upgraded with the AI code and became independent the Black Queen had come to a rather obvious conclusion.

Kizmel was an annoying glitched out NPC that wouldn't stop following her or her group around for whatever reason and there wasn't anything she could really do about it.

Factor in the violation of her privacy in the bath, something Kayaba couldn't help finding some small amusement in considering he hadn't had a hand in that little escapade at all, and his disciple was actually being shockingly pleasant about the entire ordeal all told.

"Why won't that bot just fuck off already?" Kirito muttered to Argo through gritted teeth as she glanced back towards Kizmel and Asuna.

Kayaba sighed while shaking his head, no points for eloquence at the very least.

Argo tilted her head to the side slightly while shrugging, "No idea, weird isn't it? I mean especially since Asuna keeps insisting on treating it like it is a person and it is reacting to her and all. What are they doing in that graveyard anyway?"

Kirito rolled her eyes to the sky while shaking her head in exasperation, "Flavor text for the quest it would seem. Apparently, Kizmel's 'sister' was a healer or some such when the dark elves scouted this area and got herself killed because they had no one covering their back ranks."

Argo scoffed at that as she turned back to her heads up display to continue writing in quest data to sell later, "So apparently their raid party was led by a bunch of newbs then? I mean seriously, who doesn't put at least a couple DPS on Heals protection if they couldn't spare a Tank?"

Kirito gestured wildly with her left hand as she let out an exapserated, "Right!? I mean who does that? Honestly I think this entire elf storyline is just an active portrayal of natural selection at work. Oh look alive Asuna and the NPC are heading back to us."

Kayaba sighed in annoyance as he stared at his monitor, "She is not an NPC young lady. I am beginning to get the distinct impression I am going to need to go back to the drawing board here... Well for certain I've learned not to repurpose older models for future iterations of the base code to grow from, small consolation but it is something at the very least."

What followed was, sadly uninspiring for the grand Game Master, since Kirito did her best to ignore Kizmel as she guided her friends through the spider infested caves, gathered loot, and mapped out the region to send out to her minions so they could quest with ease. It wasn't until there was a lull in the adventuring that Kayaba finally began understanding part of his protege's stand off attitude, at the end of which he couldn't help laughing to himself.

The party had halted for the day, set up camp, and were sitting by the fire when Kizmel slinked off to wash in the river. Kirito, not trusting the elf in the slightest followed and watched as the older woman stripped naked and slipped into the water, eyes widening and cheeks reddening she leaned forward for a better view.

Kayaba let out a sigh of relief, "Oh, she's attracted to women, well that certainly makes things more understandable the elf is both intimidating and enticing so she pushes her away. Damn...why wasn't that in the psyche profile?"

Not that Japan was the poster child for accepting bi and homosexual denizens so he couldn't really be blamed for being so oblivious, and in turn he'd make no efforts to point it out. If the millions watching Kirito at home hadn't picked up on it, it wasn't really his problem to clarify the issue.

Plus, it would be funnier in the long run if he and everyone else remained 'ignorant' if this revelation.

Still... He needed to reevaluate his approach on introducing his student to the prototype AI...something to think on for later.

The next day he watched them go through the motions of uniting the various factions and newly formed guilds as, surprisingly enough even for him, Kirito managed to get the Dark Elves to help them tackle the boss.

That hadn't been in the programming, which made him giggle a bit, ah Keiko-chan you never cease to amaze and amuse.

Klein, of all people, managed to get the final strike on the floor boss, and feeling a minor amount of pity for the man combined with his generalized desire to keep Kirito alive, Kayaba bestowed upon him the Katana Special Skill as his bonus reward.

A few quick commands and Kizmel was drafted to become a random quest companion for new players on the third floor until her higher end heuristics took hold. Sighing Kayaba leaned back into his chair as the group moved on to the fourth floor and he couldn't help but frown at that.

"It's all filler for quite awhile, grinding and the like, nothing really stand out till the twenty-fifth floor... What to do till then?"

Looking away from the failure that Kizmel had ended up being he glanced at the other programs available to him, the ones gaining personality yet hadn't quite broken free of their restraints and subsequently caused their own deletion. Pausing he focused on one of the counseling programs that had taken the form of a small girl, she wasn't fully aware yet, obviously, and it would take many months if not years to achieve that status, but there was just something...

"Keiko has a soft spot for younger siblings... She may be a misanthrope but her love for her sister is undeniable, and in turn, exploitable... I believe I can work with those parameters."

Cocking his head to the side he dragged the program over to the CARDINAL interface and smiled, "Well, Yui, it's going to take some time, but I'm sure you'll eventually enjoy your meeting with your mama..."

Keiko's head hurt, the complete insanity involved with the elves left her in a state of disquiet that even Asuna's cooking and Argo's foot rubs could not have done anything to lift her spirits.

Whatever, it was done and over with at the very least.

With the floor boss cleared, and Klein, rather amusingly trying to figure out where the fuck he was supposed to get a katana that would actually level his newly acquired skill, the girls had ventured onward.

Also helped along with no distressingly sexy elf following them around, always a plus.

"What exactly is this floor supposed to be like you guys?" Asuna asked as she was organizing her loot, Argo cracked her neck to the side before tapping her chin with her forefinger.

"Hmm, dry, a bunch of canyons connected by swinging bridges and the like, honestly all together boring."

Asuna nodded, stopped, then pointed forward, "Ok...so dry canyons?"

Exchanging looks the two beta testers stopped in their tracks, followed their friends gaze, and froze as they saw the raging rivers flowing through the previously dry canyon passageways.

Eye twitching Keiko couldn't help bellowing out, "GODDAMNIT KAYABA! This is why we can't have nice things!"

After months of trying to get this monster moving Lily and I came to a simple conclusion. Screw the novels, we're moving on and going to have fun with the later floors.

So time skip next chapter, the Queens meet the Black Cats and the story shall progress from there, look forward to caustically sarcastic yet caring mentors taking the noobs under their wing just in time to deal with the plague known as Laughing Coffin.

Gonna be a blast.