Horrible stood in front of the cameras...just...dumbfounded...how could Linda do this? He felt a song coming along. He headed out into the streets, ditching his Dr. Horrible attire, to see just how the girl of his dreams was doing with the cheesy, overglorified, arrogant jerk. Maybe he'd be lucky, and the date would be a disaster. Maybe she was seeing him for what he was. He hadn't noticed he bumped into Phineas who was doing the exact same thing.
"Oh, hi Heinz," Phineas greeted timidly, "Sorry, I didn't see you there."
"No, no, it's okay," Heinz said, "So...what are you doing?"
"Just...um…," he sighed, "spying on my mom because she is dating a total nub!"
"I hear ya."
"How? You weren't there...and I don't think it's on the news."
"Because I actually was there."
"Wait...how...you...Wait...You're Dr. Horrible?!"
"That depends...do you take back the whole 'whoa a heist? That's so cool'?"
"Heck no! Honestly, I know it was you that saved my mom and me. I mean, you stopped the van. It never even touched that phony. It was his fault to begin with! He's the one that broke the device sending the van haywire. If anything, Hammer made it way worse. He could have killed us throwing us into the garbage. I was actually knocked out for thirty seconds!"
Heinz picked Phineas up, "WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN ALL MY LIFE, KID?!"
Phineas giggled, and Heinz put him down. It was clear these two would be good friends...if not already. Phineas really liked Heinz. He's the first person in years he'd talked to besides his mom. He missed his father, but somehow Phineas saw Heinz as a worthy...substitute. He'd never replace Phillip, that's for sure, but Heinz would make a worthy step father...if only his mom would stop seeing that cheesy glorified bully.
"I just...I seriously think all of humanity is insane! I mean...I mean…"
*music for 'My Eyes' starts, and Phineas starts to sing. Bold is Phineas alone, regular font is Heinz, bold italics are Phineas and Heinz, and italics are Linda*
Any dolt with half a brain
can see the human kind has gone insane
to the point where I don't know
if I'll upset the status quo
if I throw poison in the water main
listen close to everybody's heart
and hear that breaking sound
hopes and dreams are shattering apart
and crashing to the ground
Phineas and Heinz sit outside watching Linda and Hammer's date. They are both absolutely disgusted by it.
I cannot believe my eyes
how the world's filled with filth and lies
but it's plain to see
evil inside of me
is on the rise
Linda sits with Hammer in one of the homeless shelters, eating (pretty much a date) and Linda doesn't notice Phineas and Heinz outside as Heinz backs away into the darkness, and Phineas follows, having nothing better to do.
look around
we're living with the lost and found
just when you feel you've almost drowned
you find yourself on solid ground
and you believe there's good in everybody's heart
keep it safe and sound
with hope you can do your part
to turn a life around
I cannot believe my eyes
is the world finally growing wise
cuz it seems to me
some kind of harmony
is on the rise
It's further into the weekend, and Heinz spies, hiding behind a bush, on Linda and Hammer with Phineas hiding behind a different bush.
anyone with half a brain-take it slow
can spend their whole howling in pain-he looks at me and seems to know
cuz the dark is everywhere-the things that I'm afraid to show
and Linda/Mom doesn't seem to care-and suddenly I
that soon the dark in me is all that will remain-feel this glow
listen close to everybody's heart-and I believe there's good in everybody's heart
and hear that breaking sound-keep it safe and sound
hopes and dreams are shattering apart-with hope you can do your part
and crashing to the ground-to turn a life around
I cannot believe my eyes-I cannot believe my eyes
how the world's filled with filth and lies-how the world's finally growing wise
but it's plain to see-and it's plain to see
evil inside of me-rapture inside of me
is on the rise-is on the rise
The next morning, Heinz was doing laundry when little Phineas walked in. However, you could hardly tell with the huge basket of clothes he carried, covering his face. If Heinz didn't know him, he'd thought it was a floating laundry basket. Under the basket, he could see his little legs wobbling, and suddenly Phineas tipped over.
"Whoa!" Phineas exclaimed, but Heinz caught the basket in one hand and Phineas in the other, "Thanks, Heinz. Sorry about that."
"Nah, it's okay, Phineas," Heinz replied putting the basket down, and Phineas began to load the laundry into the washer...strange…, "Uh, Phineas? Where's your mom?"
"Pfft," Phineas pffted, "why do you ask your nemesis?"
"Johnny Snow is not my nemesis!"
"I know! I meant Captain Hammer!"
"Oh," Heinz said sheepishly, "sorry. Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Phineas said, but Heinz could tell he wasn't.
"Alright," he sighed, "Spill, kid, what did Captain Hammer say?"
Phineas only continued to load the laundry, but his manner seemed to get angrier now as he threw stuff in there. Heinz had to wonder...how come the basket is so full? He only had to see one of Hammer's symbol among most of the black t-shirts, and he knew exactly why. Not only did Linda send Phineas alone, but he's doing Hammer's laundry too. What a chump! Heinz helped Phineas finish loading, and they sat down. Heinz had to admit he was talking to Phineas a hell of a lot more than Linda. He'd hoped to give his second 'accidentally given' frozen yogurt to Linda, but it seemed she wasn't coming. Plus, Phineas could use a friend right now with the tough time he was going through.
"Hey...uh...Phineas?"
"Yeah?"
"Do you like frozen yogurt?"
"Yeah...I do actually."
"Well, the guy at the frozen yogurt pl-" Phineas chuckled, "What? What's so funny?"
"Ah, the old 'the gave me an extra of this item. You wouldn't happen to like said item? Person says yes, you say wow what a coincidence. When we both know you really just bought two to get brownie points," Phineas said.
Heinz was awestruck, "It's that obvious, isn't it?"
"I've been able to get pretty familiar with behavior in a person with romance."
"Oh, do you have a girl in mind?"
"No...you're the first person I've talked to, besides my mom, since I was two."
"Oh…"
"Yeah...I've been able to get familiar with it because of all the nubs who have tried to whoo my mom."
"Have they succeeded?"
"Nope...but I think you've got a chance if she'd just get away from Captain Hammer."
"Really?"
"Yeah...I mean, ya got me to talk to you. Mom seemed pretty impressed with that. Who knows, maybe once she'd snapped out of her infatuation with Captain Hammer, maybe she'll go to you."
"You think so?"
"I think so."
"So...do you ever miss your dad?"
Heinz knew he'd never should have asked that, for Phineas' eyes started getting misty. Heinz felt bad. Like this kid hadn't been through enough?!
"Phineas...I'm sorry."
"Yeah...I miss him," he wiped away his tears, "C-can we talk about something else please?"
"Sure...so...did your mom send you here by yourself?"
"No, 'Cheesy on the Outside' did," Phineas scoffed, "You should have HEARD the things she was saying about him! Blech! She called him sweet!"
Heinz actually thought he threw up in his mouth a second, but he swallowed it. He then turned back to Phineas, slowly eating his frozen yogurt. Phineas hoped soon his mom would see that Hammer is a total phony. He had to admit this frozen yogurt was pretty good. He felt kinda bad for Heinz that he gave it to him instead of the intended target.
"Sorry you didn't get to share this moment with my m-...um...Heinz?"
"Yeah?"
"You're driving the spork into your leg."
"Oh, so I am...heh, heh, heh."
"So...Heinz?"
"Yeah?"
"What's your family like?"
"Um...heh, heh, actually funny story is...Captain Hammer...is...my brother."
"Owch."
"Yeah...but hopefully this thing I've got planned tonight will get me into the Evil League of Evil."
"What'cha got going on?"
"It's a crime of sorts involving the freeze ray."
"Oh, cool."
Time passed, they chatted more, and eventually their laundry was done, and they parted ways.
"Well I better get home. Thanks for the frozen yogurt, and good luck with whatever you're doing tonight."
"Thanks, good luck with Cheesehead tonight."
Phineas giggled, and he headed out. Heinz couldn't get over how nice a kid Phineas was. He shook out of it for the time being, for he had business to do tonight...