Chris slept solid and surprisingly peacefully all things considered, waking up the next morning in a calm dream like state. She had thoughts of kissing Street in the garage at work and the way she felt that tingle through her entire body when her lips met his for the second time, the way she had abandoned all inhibitions and just let herself feel the moment with him. As she lay there reliving her nose pressed into his faces and their mouths moved passionately together, her hands caressing his neck and one running through his hair, the way their bodies seemed to meld into one, suddenly her eyes sprung wide open, she remembered. Remembered it all. In an instant it felt like someone had hit her in the stomach with a baseball bat as the reality of the day she had faced yesterday and what she would face today hit her. She slowly closed her eyes and wished that it would all just go away, as be a bad dream, but opening them again and staring at her ceiling she knew it was all too real.

"Ding"

Chris rolled out of bed like lightning hearing her phone, but it was Hondo,

"Hey, you ok? wanna lift in his morning?"

She let out a sigh and smirked, 'guess he is still worried about me after everything I blabbed out last night' she thought. 'Gosh I hope is ok at work, will it be awkward now I have opened up to Hondo, is he gunna treat me differently? Is he upset with me?' her self-doubt and over thinking again crept into her head.

"Thanks boss, slept ok must have needed it, I will drive in myself, I wanna go by the hospital after shift."

"Ok, see you soon"

Chris looked around the room and blinked slowly 'come on girl… get moving'.

She drove in navigating through the traffic, finding every slow driver, ignorant lane changer and distracted driver absolutely infuriating. She screeched into the garage. Climbed out slamming her door and walked hastily to the doors, flinging them open with force. As one banged heavily on the wall behind it, she made herself jump a little. Some officers in the gym, all turned and looked at her.

'Shit Chris…...' she said to herself 'snap out of it!'

As she made her way purposefully to the locker room, she saw Hicks and Cortez upstairs with the IA officers. She looked away quickly not wanting any of them to grab her and ask to talk yet. She needed a minute to get herself together and prepared.

Deacon and Luca were in the locker room,

"Hey" she said seeing them as walked in, her voice carrying tones of anger.

"Hey" they both answered glancing at each other then back at her. These two knew her well enough to read her demeanour. She was upset and hostile. She carried a 'don't f*&k with me attitude'.

Luca grabbed the last thing he needed and patted Deacons back as he moved past. "I'm first cab of the rank. See you on the other side." Chris looked up him giving him a small smile and a nod as he walked out. She looked back down at her bag and continued to unpack it.

Deacon wandered a bit closer,

"Hey…. You ok?"

"No" she answered quickly curtly without looking up.

Deacon hesitated. He wasn't sure what to say to her or what to do when she was like this. "um…... I'm here if you wanna…."

"I'm good" she snapped back,

Deacon knew she wasn't. She knew she wasn't. He decided to change tack from compassionate Deacon to boss Deacon, his voice became stern and colder and not looking at her we said "Make sure you check that page there" he said firmly, pointing at the page pinned to the notice board "Hondo has put a list of times that IA want each of us today…. we won't be made active until they have spoken to us all".

Chris glanced up to where Deacon was pointing, "ok" she said going back to her locker to pack it.

"Chris…." Deacon sighed care and love back in his voice again, he could still see her anguish and anger, she didn't look back at him, she was too worked up. "If you're worried about talking to them today just remember they are just here to gather the facts of what happened yesterday. Nothing else"

She took a step back and sat on the bench, dropping her head into her hands between her knees. She sometimes hated that these guys could read her so well. As Deacon frowned and began to move the bench too, she looked up at him.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't be taking his out on you, but why do I feel like they are looking for someone to blame?"

Deacon shook his head "No Chris, this is procedure, come on you know that. This happens with every major incident. It's not an investigation to punish anyone. No one is saying anyone did anything wrong. It was an accident that needs to be documented."

She breathed in heavily and stared at the floor in front her. "I feel like they are gunna blame Street for being reckless, especially after he was not long ago was booted off SWAT and has only just fought so hard to get back on the team, or will they look at me and Logan for not preventing what happened?"

"Hey…." Deacon placed a caring hand on her shoulder, "Chris, we have dealt with these IA officers before. Come on, it's their job to document what happened yesterday. It is officially categorised as an accident." He squeezed her in a little "it's ok Chris… just tell them what happened, and it will be fine"

She nodded and pursed her lips, "thanks Deac"

"I'm in next so I gotta get ready, you good?" he asked standing up,

"yep" she managed a smile at him as he turned and walked out. She sat there for a minute. Her gaze wandering to Streets locker. She starred at it for a bit, as her mind raced back to him. She felt sick with worry about him, but knew she needed to be professional. 'Now isn't the time for this' she growled at herself…... 'suck it up and get back out there'. She picked up her coffee mug and headed to the kitchen to fill her coffee.

"Here she is" Hondo said as she walked in. He was standing near the sink eating a bowl of porridge.

"Hey" she managed, she had dropped a bit of the mood she was in, but still felt uneasy and a bit rattled. Hondo watched her make the coffee. As she leant across him to grab the milk, she caught his eye.

"You good?"

"Yeah…." she answered looking back at her coffee mug, "I….um…..."

"What?" Hondo asked hearing hesitation in her voice. Watching her stir the spoon, she glanced back up to look at him,

"I wanted to say thanks. Thanks for last night, thanks for listening. Thanks for talking sense to me and …" she stopped putting the spoon in the sink and picking her cup, she closed her eyes in a slow blink as she exhaled, "thanks for just being there…. I was such a mess"

Hondo put his arm around her shoulders. "Chris" he said tapping the side of his head on the top of hers "I got you"

She smiled and sipped her coffee. "I am um…." She started as Hondo began to walk away. He stopped and turned to her…. "I am" she flicked her top teeth over her bottom lips "I am worried about talking to them Hondo…IA I mean"

Hondo sighed and started walking back to her. "Chris…... facts…. stick to the facts of what happened. No emotion, facts" he said patting her arm. "You got this" he nodded at her. She nodded back.

Over the next half of their shift all of 20 David and 50 David had their turn at giving their statements to the IA officers about what happened. When they weren't with IA, they kept busy training, finishing paper work and completing errands.

Finally, it was her turn. She kept repeating "facts not emotion" as she went in. A while later as she came out, she leant against the wall for a minute. Her mascara had run, and she clenched a handful of soggy tissues. Trying to go back through it all in such detail with the officers had brought her to tears. Especially the part when Streets heart stopped beating, and she had started CPR for the second time. She hated that she couldn't hold it together. The female IA officer had been caring and understanding though.

"You've just been through a very traumatic incident… it's ok" she had reassured her when Chris was apologising for crying. She had passed Chris the tissues and been compassionate and kind. Cortez came passed walking quickly, then slowed as she noticed Chris. "You ok?" She said in soft voice touching her arm.

"Yeah…. Yeah…I'm good, just hard going back over it all…. still not knowing how he is…... how he will be…."

Cortez gave her a hug, "I know, we are all worried sick, but" she said tapping the iPad in her hands, "we have a case."

Chris nodded and followed Cortez. Throwing the tissues in the bin and wiping her eyes with her fingers before entering the situation room.

"Okay gather round" Cortez said, as Hondo explained the case. Chris was surprised she could focus so well. She was grateful for the much needed distraction to get through the shift.

"Go gear up" Hondo said "Time to roll" …she turned with Logan at her side. He glanced at her,

"You doing ok Chris?"

"Yeah…... I'm ok, glad to have something to focus on, you?" she said as they walked.

"Yeah, I'm good" he nodded

"Hey Chris…." Hondo's voice came up behind them. She slowed and turned tapping Logan's arm saying "I see you in there" as she nodded for him to go ahead,

"yeah boss?"

"Gotta minute?"

Chris folded her arms and walked back to Hondo. "What's up?"

"You good?"

Chris rolled her eyes slightly, "Yeah" she was smiling though. "You are about the 100th person to ask today… Don't get me wrong I am so grateful everybody cares, but man… it's exhausting."

Hondo smiled and nodded patting her shoulder. "You will tell me if you aren't, won't you?"

Chris gave him a glare without saying a word, a glare that silently said "of course I will, this won't affect my game"

"Come on then…." Hondo said,

As she sat in Black Betty listening to Deacon go over the updated details on the raid, she clipped up her helmet and glanced sideways. It felt strange for her to glance to her right and not see Street smiling back at her. Logan was adjusting the clips on his vest and he smiled at her, but it wasn't the same, she didn't have that connection to Logan. As lovely, kind and attractive as he was, he just wasn't Street. Chris dropped her glance from him and sighed. 'God, I hope he is doing ok' she whispered to herself.

"Fill the gaps" Hondo called "Stay Liquid" they answered as Chris frowned not hearing Streets voice amongst them, it made her chest hurt.

After the mission Chris turned in her paperwork and grabbed the things from the locker she needed. Tan and Luca passed her near the garage.

"Hey... You on your way out?" Tan asked

"Yeah… going to the hospital to see Street" She said,

"We will swing by for a quick visit to once we are done here" Luca said.

She nodded "see you there then"

Pulling her truck up in the parking lot she sat for a second looking at the building. It was the same hospital she had spent two months in, and she felt a wave of mixed emotions. Her need to see him again though was so strong she shook it all off and walked inside. The familiar smell and sounds hit her as she hurried to the elevators. 'Focus on Street' she said in her head.

"Ms Alonso," the young nurse who she had spoken with last night was standing near his door. "How are you?"

"Ah… hi…." Chris said not sure of her name,

"I'm Nurse Jamie" she said realising, Chris smiled politely and nodded.

"How is he today?"

Nurse Jamie spoke with a kind, compassionate tone, "He is stable now, but still critical. The doctors are slowly starting to wean him off the sedation medications and we will see how he responds"

"Can I go in?"

"Of course," she smiled.

Chris smiled back at her and stepped through the door. She walked to the bed "Hey you" she said quietly as she sat next to him on the bed. His complexion looked better today, but seeing him attached to life support and unconscious, so fragile and vulnerable made her feel physically sick. She picked up his hand and held it in both of hers. Her eyes watching him.

"I wish you could hear me" she said as she leant over him. She gently kissed his cheek and put her forehead on his. "Please wake up Jim…. please come back to me…. I need you… god knows I need you"

She gently ran her fingers through his hair and stroked his face. Feeling the warmth of his skin on hers was exactly what she needed. "When you wake up…. I have somethings to tell you…. I …. I" 'god why am so nervous, I'm literally sitting here talking to myself' she thought.

"I told Hondo a lot of things last night, and now I finally get it" she smiled at him and shook her head, "who would've thought you would teach me a thing or two" …. "I get now why you told Hondo and Deacon those things about us when I was here and I'm… I'm sorry for holding that against you Street. I was so scared that you would lose everything because of me, but I won't let that happen."

Chris sat talking to him a while, touching him and holding his hands. She told him about the raid today and about crying in front of the IA officers. Then as she sat in the chair next the bed, still holding his hand in hers, Deacon and Logan knocked on the door. She let go of his hand and stood up motioning for them to come in.

"Hey" Deacon said hugging her…. "You ok?"

"Yeah" she said, but he could hear the sadness in her voice.

"Hey Chris" Logan said putting his arm around her and giving her a hug.

"Hey"

"I hope you don't mind me stopping in quickly, I just wanted to see how Street was and if anyone needed anything"

Chris smiled at him, he was a sweetheart of a guy, "that's very sweet of you, but I'm all good thanks"

"What's the latest?" Deacon said looking at Street.

"He um … is stable, but still critical and the nurse said the doctors will start slowing the sedation and weaning him off it" Chris explained, "I'm gunna go get some water, I'll let you have a minute" she said taking the water jug and heading out.

The rest of team again had assembled in the waiting area, including Cortez and Hicks. They all were eager to hear an update and go in to see him. Chris didn't want to be in the way, so she sat quietly in the corner with her phone and earphones and listened to music as they came and went.

Chris leant her head back on the wall and closed her eyes. Focusing on the music in her headphones she drowned out the world.

"Chris… Hey" Hondo said tapping her arm. She opened her eyes and blinked at him. We are all heading home, of you wanna go say goodnight to Street. She fumbled and grabbed at the earbuds as they fell from ears. "I umm…. Thanks"

"You sure you are ok to head home, you don't wanna lift?"

"Yeah…. yeah… I'm ok, I'll be fine…. I'll just pop in quickly then I'll head home"

Hondo nodded and as she stood up gathering her things, she hugged him. "Thanks boss"

He rubbed her back and nodded at her "See you tomorrow"

"Night" she called.