To Love Again

Chapter 8

Author;s note: I have decided to age Audrey into a teenager to make more sense of the story. I'm sorry for the confusion.

Elena watched the water flow as she sat down letting the shower run. She couldn't believe what she had done. She couldn't believe that she had kissed Damon. Why had she been so stupid? Damon was Stefan's brother. Her husband. Her husband who had just died not even a month and a half ago. Talk about a shitty wife. She should get the top award for that.

The tears flowed as she thought of every important moment she had with Stefan and how she had betrayed him. Sure he wasn't the perfect person, but he didn't deserve this. How could she have forgotten about him so easily? How could she let herself? She took a deep breath and stepped out of the tub wrapping herself in a towel. She had to do this. She had to distract herself and move on with her life. She had to make things right even though she knew she couldn't. She had to. It was the only way she was going to survive.

After she had dried herself off and got dressed, she went downstairs where she found a surprise. Her kids were awake and cooking breakfast. Granted she wished they would have asked for adult supervision before doing this, but it was so rare that her kids did something for herself that she didn't know how to feel about it or how she should react. So she just stood there silently observing them until Audrey turned around and Elena startled her.

Elena sighed knowing that the moment was over and joined Audrey and Caleb in the kitchen.

"Good morning mom." Caleb said giving her a quick hug.

There was obviously something a matter here. She just had to find out what.

"Alright kids. Let's finish this up. I think we need to talk about a few things."

Audrey and Caleb looked at each other as Elena helped them make the remainder of their breakfast. She knew that eventually she would have to confront the no Stefan thing to her kids, but she was still recovering from that herself. She just had to be strong. Especially for the two people who needed her the most.

Once breakfast was all set up, Elena sat down and lifted Caleb on her lap as Audrey sat in the chair across from her. She still wished Audrey felt little enough to sit in her lap too, but she knew Audrey was getting older and didn't want to be treated as a child anymore. She guessed she never really considered how her thirteen year old was coping with this.

"Alright guys. You know you can tell me anything. What's wrong?"

Audrey bit her lip as Caleb looked down. She hated that her kids would want to keep anything from her.

"Are you mad at Uncle Damon ? Did he make you sad?" Caleb said his green eyes trying to make sense of something.

"No sweetie. I'm not mad at your Uncle Damon."

"Good, because we like having him around." Audrey said shoveling a forkful of eggs into her mouth to silence whatever teenaged retort she had coming next.

"Why were you crying mama?" Caleb said.

Elena exhaled and hugged Caleb tightly. She knew she couldn't hold this in forever.

"Well you know how sometimes you miss your daddy and you cry because he's not here?"

Caleb nodded as Elena looked at Audrey. She was obviously holding something back.

"Well sometimes mama misses him too and she needs to cry about it."

"Does Uncle Damon help you mama?"

"Yeah buddy he does."

"Is Uncle Damon gonna be my new daddy?"

Elena sighed and hugged onto Caleb tightly.

"Sweetie, I want you to know that no matter what happens between your uncle Damon and me that he will never replace your daddy. I don't think anyone ever will."

Caleb nodded, but Audrey wasn't as easily convinced. With a loud thud she scooted out of her chair and out of the kitchen. Elena heard her stomps on the footsteps and the loud slamming of her door. Music soon followed blasting in every direction of the house as Elena sighed.

"Is Audrey going to be okay?"

"I don't know buddy, but i'm going to find out."

As soon as she knew Caleb was occupied with his Saturday morning cartoons, Elena walked upstairs and knocked on Audrey's door. She knew she would have to deal with some teenaged angst, but she was well prepared for it.

"Go away!" Audrey yelled, but Elena knew better. She was a teenager after all.

"Audrey it's me. Please let me in."

"Go away mom. I don't want to talk to you."

"Well that's too bad because I'll be outside this door for as long as it takes. I'm not leaving until you talk to me sweetie."

She heard her daughter's sigh and opened the door. Tears streamed down her face as she flopped back down on her bed.

Elena walked into the room and sat down next to her. She just needed for her daughter to be honest with her.

"Tell me what's wrong Audrey?"

"I miss my dad and I miss Uncle Damon."

Elena exhaled. "I know I miss your dad sweetheart."

"No mom I don't think you actually know what i'm feeling. Listen I know you miss him too and you knew him for longer, but he was only a fraction of your world. He was all of mine. He was my whole world. "

"What brought this on Audrey?"

"Yesterday at school Misty was handing out her invitations to her annual father daughter luncheon. I guessed it had slipped her mind that my dad is gone, because she gave one to me and that just reminded even more that dad is gone. There's not going to be anymore dad-daughter luncheons. There will be no watching me audition for cheerleading and theatre. There will be no driving me to games or performances. There will be no seeing me in my prom dress or shooing away boys who ask me out on dates. He won't be there to see me graduate or send me off to college. But what's worse is that he won't be here to walk me down the aisle or to watch me have my own kids. I was robbed of that experience mom and I hate it. I want him back mom. I want him back so bad."

Audrey piled into Elena's arms as she stroked her daughter's hair.

"Oh sweetie. I'm so sorry."

She let her duaghter cry until she had no tears left.

"Mom?"

"Yes Audrey."

"Don't push Uncle Damon away. He lost dad too. I think he's just as lonely as we are."

Elena noded her understanding. Her daughter was right. She had spent so much time thinking about how awful it was to have lost her husband or for her children to have lost their father, but she had never considered how Damon felt after losing his brother.

"Mom."

"Yes baby girl."

"Is it okay if I ask Uncle Damon to this lunch thing. I think it'll be good for the both of us."

She picked her daughters head up and smiled.

"I think that would be an amazing idea."

Audrey laughed as Caleb came inside and joined them on the bed. Elena held onto her little family and cried with them holding onto them for as long as she possibly could.