Chris sat back involuntarily on the bed. Those words "I'm not what you signed up for" made tears well in her eyes. Watching him so fragile and so broken really hurt her.

"Hey…" She said nudging his chin, to make him look at her. "Jim" she waited. He was looking out the window and blinking slowly, "please look at me" she said softly,

Street slowly lifted his eyes to her, she smiled and put her hand on the side of his face,

"Do you remember the last time I sat here with you alone?" a tear welled in her eyes and a voice shook a little with emotion, the tear escaped and ran down her face and she let it fall.

He swallowed hard, clenching his jaw and nodded slightly. Chris blinked and shook her head, looking away briefly out the window, frustrated, as she chewed her bottom lip.

"Then you should!" her tone was a little angry "damn it …Street …...you should know that I did…. I knowingly signed up for all this… for all of you." She looked back at him. She could see the sadness, fear and resentment all over his face.

"Hey…" she slowly picked up his hand and held it up to her chest, "You have to know that I didn't finally realise and say those words to you …. and I didn't kiss you again like that for nothing. I honestly meant it …okay"

She squeezed his hand and pressed it against her chest "I am in love with you…... I need you… I want you…... I want an us…."

He felt awful, he looked away from her, here sat the love of his life, again declaring her love for him, but all he could think about was the thoughts that were consuming him right now. He swallowed hard, he couldn't shake the feelings he had. His heart was weak, he had burns on his legs, abdomen and arms and although Doctor McGuinness had been positive when he spoke about his recovery, Street feared it may not be possible. Street couldn't stand to think about what would happen if he couldn't re-join the team, if his body was not strong enough ever again to allow him to stay with SWAT, what if these injuries meant he would never regain full use or strength back in his arms and legs or maybe his mobility would be restricted. What if his heart had been through too much already and wouldn't be strong enough to support the physical fitness he needed to maintain? The doubt and fear swirled around and around in his head, and he couldn't get a handle on it. He looked at her,

"What if… what if I'm …not him… though anymore….… What if I am never the same ever again?"

Chris hated seeing him like this. The depression hanging over him was so heavy and thick. Street was so stubborn and god damned frustrating.

"Jim…" She said sighing and squeezing his hand again. "The doctors are positive," she raised and lowered his hand in hers as she tapped it against her leg. "They are hopeful you will get back to 100%, and yes I know that it is gunna take some time, but we are all here for you, we all want you back ASAP. I will be here for you every step of the way". Street pulled his hand from hers and looked away out the window.

"It doesn't feel like…...it doesn't feel like it will be okay, it feels like I will be like this, ruined …. forever…" he said, she heard the sadness and fear in his voice,

Chris blinked back tears from her big brown eyes and breathed in heavily. She knew she needed to be his rock right now. She needed to be strong for him and stop him from spiralling into some depression like state.

She moved herself to stand between is gaze and the window.

"Jim…... I know you are worried and scared about what is ahead," she reached out and stroked his hair, he flinched a little and she hated that their physical contact felt uncomfortable all of a sudden. "I am gunna be here with you every day, every step of the way. I am not gunna let you give up and decide not to try." He seemed so distant and shut down, Chris was beginning to feel defeated herself.

She sat watching him. He barely looked at her. He stared blankly everywhere else in the room but at her. How the hell was she going to snap him out of this? She contemplated kissing him again, she wanted too, but he was so cold and emotionless that she feared he would actually deny her a kiss right now and that would be truly heart shattering for her. She reached out again to his hand slowly, sliding her fingers into his and tentatively watched him for any reaction. She slightly squeezed it and slowly she saw his eyes, turn to her. She smiled a sad smile at him, tears still in her eyes and fear on her face.

"Please don't push me away" she whispered as he turned to her.

He exhaled, knowing that he was hurting her right now. Knowing he needed to suck it up and stop the sulking.

"Chris," he started slowly… he could see how his shitty mood was affecting her, and he hated himself for making her sad, he never wanted to make her cry, but the voices in his own head which were yelling at him that he was "screwed… never be strong enough again … and…... damaged goods" made it hard from him to snap out of it. He knew he was starting to push her away and that that was not what he had wanted to do, he realised watching her teary brown eyes stare at him that this moment right now with him acting like this was breaking her heart.

"Chris…. I'm sorry" he managed, his voice quivered, "I'm …..." He blew out a slow breath" Chris…I'm scared…...I don't know if I can…..." as his voice began to shake Chris stood up and leant over him, hugging him as best she could.

"Hey…...shhhhhhhh" she whispered as she felt him shudder and cry. "Hey…...it's ok…. I'm here…...you are gunna be ok…...you hear me…...you are gunna be fine…..." She held him for a while. He needed it. She knew his bitterness and hurt was all coming from the fear he would never recover fully and be able to re-join the team? But was his behaviour towards her also because he thought he now wouldn't be good enough for her?

As his tears subsided, he looked up at her "shit…. Chris…I'm sorry…... I am…...you really don't deserve this…to have to sit here and listen to my pity party and see me like this".

Chris knew Street was embarrassed and upset. He hated her seeing him like this. But she was not going to give up on him that easily.

She stayed by his side all day. Hondo had ordered her to. Nurse Jamie gave him more pain medication and he drifted off to sleep, she sat in the chair at his side and held his hand. He slept most of the day, but she didn't mind. She just wanted him to get better. As the sun began to set, Chris contemplated waking him to tell him she needed to go home. Her body was exhausted, and she needed to sleep before her next shift. She sat on the window ledge watching him sleep. She was staring and couldn't help it.

Nurse Jamie slid the door open, and Chris was jolted from her little daydream.

"Afternoon Chris" she said

"Hey…."

"How is he doing?" she asked

"Ok" Chris shrugged

Nurse Jamie wandered to Chris's side. "Are you ok?" she asked noting Chris's despondent tone.

Chris blinked at her and tried to smile. "I'm worried about him" she said

"That's normal" nurse Jamie replied as she checked the wounds on his arms, "you look … um… a little sad though?"

"He… he…seems to be in a bad place mentally… which I get… I do… I just dunno how to snap him out of it and get the Jim I love back, the happy, carefree, loving Jim that …" she stopped and smiled remembering this memory, "on that mission, where this happened" she said gesturing to his wounds "I remember how he picked me up and twirled me around, and held me tightly in his arms, after he found out that I had been reinstated to the team on full duties after my injury and it felt amazing. He was really happy. I want him back, I want that Jim"

Nurse Jamie smiled. "Be patient honey, he will be ok in time, he is a strong guy physically, I'm sure the mental situation will improve soon."

"I feel so helpless sitting here just watching him"

Nurse Jamie smirked at her "Yeah, but it's not a bad view hey…"

It made Chris laugh out loud, just as it was intended too, "Yeah he is a pretty good looking guy hey" Chris laughed.

"Very handsome" Nurse Jamie said nodding and smiling, glad she had done her job to lighten the mood.

"Oh please… stop!" Street murmured opening his eyes a peep.

"Hey…... You were earwigging on us" Nurse Jamie said teasing him.

Street smiled and Chris couldn't help but smile too. Seeing him happy made her happy.

"What time is it?" he asked, yawning and clutching his chest as he stretched. "Ouch"

"It's almost 6…... You have slept most of the day away." Nurse Jamie answered

Chris stood up from the window and moved to the bed, "I was just thinking about waking you to say bye, I need to get home to sleep before next shift tomorrow morning"

"Ok, things look good Jim" Nurse Jamie said. "Do you need or want anything?"

"No, I'm good thanks" he replied, and she excused herself from the room.

Chris sat on the edge of his bed. Street smiled at her and reached for her hand. "Hey…..." he said taking her hand in his and pulling her closer.

"Hey" she replied smiling

"I'm sorry for the way I carried on before, I'm sorry I acted so much like a baby…... You deserve…."

"Hey I get it…... I understand" she said running her fingers tenderly through his hair, noting this time he didn't flinch as she touched him.

"I am... Chris", he said reaching for her hand in his hair and bringing it down to kiss it. "I'm Sorry…. I hate you seeing me like this…."

"Street" she sighed smiling at him "I've seen you worse". He tugged her hand more and she leaned in to rest her head next to his.

"I don't wanna leave you here and go home" she whispered in his ear, "But I need to"

"I don't want you to go either, but I know you have to" he whispered back. She picked her head up and smiled at him, before pressing her lips onto the dimple on his cheek. The taste of him was intoxicating. As she drew back, she whispered "I love you…...I honestly do"

He turned his head and looked at her, their eyes dancing with each other's, before he reached his other hand up to the back of her neck saying "I love you too" as he pulled her in and kissed her soft lips passionately. He cradled her face as they moved in sync with each other. As she drew back to breathe, she couldn't get the smile off her face!

"I…I have to go" she stammered. He blinked slowly smiling at her,

"What?" she asked laughing at him, flicking his chest with her hand.

"You are amazing, you are so beautiful, and I am so friggin' lucky" he said.

Her heart melted and she beamed at him, she stood next to the bed and leant into him.

"I'm pretty damn lucky too" she whispered as she kissed his forehead. "I will be back after shift tomorrow, okay! You message me if you need anything"

"I need you…... Does that count?" he asked playfully.

She giggled a little, "stop..." she said widening her eyes at him, "Your making me feel bad for going"

"Go" he said waving to the door "Just go"

She punched his arm playfully. Leaning over and kissing him again deeply.

"Damn I love you" she said. "I love you so much"

"Ditto" he said as he kissed her back, "I love you babe, now go"

As she walked to the door her head kept saying "He just called me 'babe'". She liked the way it sounded. Her heart fluttered, and the tingle raced around her entire body as she made her way out to her truck.