"Here's your order, miss."

"Thanks."

I took a deep swig of the neroid.

"Ahhh…"

This stuff really hits the spot. Between this and Crimson Beer, the guild tavern is the best place to get drinks, period.

As I was thinking that, I heard excited footsteps coming up from behind me.

"Chris, listen to this! I found an amazing party yesterday that seems like a perfect fit for me!"

"Somehow, that doesn't exactly inspire confidence coming from you."

The blonde Crusader happily chatting to me is my friend, Darkness.

We often adventure together, but since I sometimes have to go away due to… other responsibilities, she's been searching for a more permanent party.

"So, what's so special about this party, Darkness?"

Thing is, she hasn't been able to find a party that'll keep her. In fact, aside from me she doesn't even have any friends. The reason for that being…

"When they entered town at the end of the day, the two girls were covered in slime and crying! Such treatment… I'm so envious of them!"

… she's a bit rotten. Well, even though she's like that, she's still a good-hearted and brave person.

Even though she's like that.

"Have you talked to them yet?"

I took another sip of the neroid.

"I… um… I actually talked to their leader yesterday, but… he turned me down."

Sounds like he has good judgement. Of course, I didn't say that out loud.

"But! I think I still have a chance if I make a good impression on him! I just need to find an opportunity, like maybe the cabbage harvest that should be happening any day now."

I nearly choked on my drink when she mentioned the harvest. My blood chilled as some distant memories resurfaced. I should find an excuse to get out of town for the next couple days.

"Ah, look, they're over there!"

Darkness pointed to the dining area, where three people were having a late lunch. The young man must be the leader she spoke to before. His equipment is that of a newbie adventurer. And judging by his hair and eye color… no, it's probably too early to jump to conclusions. Eating with him were a young Crimson Demon girl, and… Aqua-senpai!?

No, it can't be. I can't sense divine aura in this form, but logic tells me there's no way she'd actually come down here. It has to be someone cosplaying her. Well, whoever she is, she did an extremely good job.

They don't seem like bad people. I am worried about Darkness, though, so I think I'll play it safe and check them out myself.

"Well, let's go over and talk to them!"

"Eh? Right now?"

I drained the last drops of neroid from my mug, then stood up and headed over to where that party was chatting. Soon, I started to overhear their conversation.

"Hey Aqua, you should have many convenient skills, right? Do you have any easy-to-learn skills to teach me? I prefer those that don't need a lot of points and are very useful."

I froze. He just called her "Aqua," didn't he?

I shook my head. No, come on, use common sense. Aqua-senpai definitely isn't here. This Archpriest must be roleplaying or something.

Putting that matter aside, it seems like this guy is looking to learn skills. He certainly doesn't appear to be an Archpriest, though, so I'm guessing he probably has the basic Adventurer job that can learn all skills.

Though, what exactly is she teaching him? That doesn't look like any Archpriest skill I know.

"Who asked you to teach me party tricks, you worthless goddess!?"

"Eh?"

She got depressed after being retorted. For some reason, watching those two lightened my mood.

Say, this could be a good opportunity to introduce myself. I approached a bit closer.

"Ha! That's hilarious! Hey, you're the party Darkness wanted to join, right? You want to learn something useful? How about Thief skills?"

The young man turned to me, seeming interested in my offer. His interest grew after I explained how useful and cheap to learn Thief skills were.

"How about it? I'll teach them to you for the price of a glass of Crimson Beer!"

And with that, I scored a free drink.

We went out to the plaza behind the Adventurer's Guild where I could teach him the skills. Well, just he, Darkness and I came. The other two seemed to be busy sulking.

The young man introduced himself as Kazuma. With a name like that… yep, there's no doubt. This is definitely another one of Aqua-senpai's Japanese "hero" candidates. All the more reason for me to confirm his character. I'll teach him skills as promised, and see how he acts once he's given power.

"Well then, we'll start with Enemy Detection and Lurk. We'll work on Disarm Traps next time, since traps are rare in such a crowded place. Hey Darkness, could you turn over there for a moment?"

"… hmm? … Okay."

And I might as well tease Darkness while I'm at it.

I grabbed a bunch of rocks, then hopped into a barrel. Taking careful aim, I threw one at Darkness's head, then used Lurk to erase my presence. Normally I'd consider throwing rocks at people a mean thing to do, but in Darkness's case it wouldn't exactly hurt her.

It will annoy her, though, allowing me to demonstrate my next skill, Enemy Detection.

"Sensing enemy… Sensing enemy… I can strongly feel Darkness's anger! Hey, Darkness? You know I only did that to teach him the skills, I couldn't help it! Please have mercy… Ahhh, stop! Ahhh!"

A solid kick sent me tumbling away in the barrel. Jeez, overreacting much?

Once I recovered from rolling around, I started teaching Kazuma about the Steal skill. Not only is it the most iconic Thief skill, it's also one that's saved my skin countless times in the past, so I'm particularly fond of it.

Kazuma was hanging onto my every word, his eyes bright with eagerness. My instincts are telling me he's trustworthy, but we'll have to see if I'm right.

"I'll demonstrate with you as the target! Ready, Steal!"

"Ah! That's my wallet!"

I nabbed his wallet with my skill. I noticed it was pitifully light. An idea struck me.

I acted like I was going to return the wallet, then stopped and smiled deviously.

"… hey… let's have a match, all right? Try learning Steal now. I'll then let you steal one item from me. I won't complain even if you steal my wallet or weapon. Your wallet's so thin that my weapon or wallet will be more valuable. That means we'll be trading in whatever items are stolen… how about it? Want to try?"

I saw Kazuma consider my offer, then watched as his face lit up. It's one thing to be excited at the chance for more money, but he seemed enthusiastic about the prospect of the match itself. He's a pure boy at heart, huh.

Makes me want to tease him a little.

"I've learned the skill and I accept your challenge! Don't come crying to me no matter what I steal!"

"That's great! I like people who aren't spoilsports! All right then, what can you steal? The special prize will be my wallet! The grand prize will be this enchanted dagger! This is a great item worth 400,000 eris! The consolation prize will be this piece of rock I threw at Darkness!"

"Ah! Using such a method is cheating!"

His crestfallen expression when he realized he had been duped was priceless. Well, I'm already being generous by teaching him, so there's nothing wrong with taking some compensation, right? Besides, even if he turns out to be really lucky and gets my wallet, it would be an acceptable loss. As for the dagger… it's actually worth way more than I said, but I'm not worried about it. No matter how high his luck, the chances he'll get that are practically zero.

He worked himself back up, and got ready to make his move.

"All right, watch this! My luck has always been good! Steal!"

… eh?

"… What's this?"

Waitwaitwait, did he just…

"Yahoo! It's the grand prize, and it's a big one!"

"No! Give me back my panties!"

This… has been my utter defeat.

"… um, I know I said I wouldn't complain no matter what you stole, but… I really would like that back. I'll even pay you, just name your price…"

I suppose this is karma for trying to pull one over one him.

"Oh? You want this back, even though you agreed to the duel and tried to dupe me?"

"Well… yes…"

"… I'll tell you what. You tell me how much you think your panties are worth."

"Eh?"

"Think carefully though, because if I'm not satisfied with your offer, I'll keep these as a family heirloom! Mwahaha!"

"Eh!?"

I don't believe it. This guy is scum. He seemed like a pure-hearted boy, but he's actually scum. Kazuma? More like Scumzuma. I'll spread the name Scumzuma around the guild so everyone knows he's scum.

Over on the side, Darkness seemed to be getting excited. Shouldn't you be standing up for me?

… no, wait, I suppose I did bring this on myself. This all happened because I tried to be cheeky and tease a newbie. And he did win our contest fair and square.

But he's still scum.

"F-Fine, here, I'll give you both our wallets. Is that enough? Just please stop waving them in the air."

After hearing my words, it seems he suddenly became self-conscious, as he hurriedly pulled his arm back down.

"… alright, I'm pleased with your offer. Here, you can take these back."

"Really? You're not going to try and ask for my dagger? It's worth a lot more, you know?"

"What? What kind of person do you think I am? Here, just take these back already."

He practically shoved the white cloth into my hands while trying to avoid eye contact. Interesting… maybe my initial impression was right after all. He might be scummy, but it seems like he's the type to chicken out when things get serious. So I was right, he does have an innocent heart.

It just happens to be wrapped up in a hearty layer of scum.

When we returned to the guild, the Archpriest roleplaying as Aqua-senpai was surrounded by a crowd.

"Aqua-sama, one more time! I'm willing to pay for it, so could you perform Nature's Beauty once more?"

It seems that her party tricks are being well-received. Which reminds me, Aqua-senpai would do similar things at parties in heaven…

Upon noticing that we had returned, the Archpriest pushed through the crowd to greet us, then noticed the depressed expression I was wearing.

"By the way, what's with her?"

Kazuma went to explain, but Darkness beat him to it.

"Chris's panties were removed by Kazuma, and then she lost all her money to him. That's why she's feeling down."

"Hey, what's this nonsense!? Hold up. Well, you're not wrong, but hold on a minute."

Well said, Darkness. To tell the truth, I wasn't actually that upset, but I figured I had to get payback for the humiliation. Now to finish the job.

"Even if I was stripped of my panties in public, I can't keep on crying! All right, Darkness. I'm sorry, but I've decided to join a profitable dungeon exploration party! I'm penniless after my panties were taken hostage."

"Hey, wait a second. The female adventurers aside from Aqua and Megumin are starting to give me cold looks, so please don't speak anymore."

I allowed myself a laugh at his panic.

"This is acceptable as payback, right? Well then, I'll be back after earning some cash, so have fun in the meantime, Darkness! I'll find what quests are available!"

I said that, then rushed over to the bulletin board. Of course I have more money than what I was carrying on me, but I had another reason for wanting to leave quickly. As we were returning to the guild, I overheard a conversation between the guild staff.

"I heard that they're coming today. An Archer claims he saw a few forerunners with his Farsight."

"Eh, really? Well, we need more evidence before we announce it, but I guess we might as well prepare."

I have no intention of staying here when they're about to come.

After a few minutes, I was able to find a party preparing to dungeon dive.

"Name's Rex. Sorry for the short notice, but the Thief we had hired before ended up being a no-show."

"No problem, now come on, let's go, loot's awaiting!"

"Woah, someone's eager."

I waved to Darkness and Kazuma's party as I exited the guild with Rex's party.

Scummy, but good at his core. I think it's a perfect fit for handling someone like Darkness. Well, assuming she can get accepted to their party. That part is up to her.

We made our way over to the gate, with me goading them on to hurry. They didn't seem to understand my sense of urgency, so I used the flimsy excuse of wanting to beat the other parties.

We were some distance away from the city when we suddenly heard sirens sounding off. On the horizon over on the right, I thought I could see what looked like a green cloud.

"Aw, we're missing the cabbage harvest! Say, if we go back now, we might be able to–"

"OR, we can hurry to the dungeon now, while the other adventurers are caught up with that. By the time they're done harvesting and collecting, it'll be too late for them to journey to the dungeon, so they'll have to wait until tomorrow. We'll have a full day's head start on them in the dungeon!"

Rex contemplated my argument.

"You do have a point there… aw, screw it, there's always next year. But you'll have to buy me some fried cabbage when we return, alright?"

"Deal."

I silently thanked Kazuma for giving me an excuse to go on this quest.