CASTLE IMPROVEMENT
Author's note: Hi ladies and gents. Welcome to the next chapter in my Crash Bandicoot FanFic. In the last chapter, the Viscount Vincent was shown around the travesty that was Cortex Castle, now he wants to discuss with the Cortex crew how to rebuild, innovate and mold the base into a more formidable lair, but has he really got their best interests at heart?
DISCLAIMER: Crash Bandicoot is owned by Activision.
Chapter 3: A Viscount Deal
In the center of the bright sterile Break Room, Vincent retrieved a notepad from his briefcase. Cortex, N. Gin, Tiny, Dingodile, Pinstripe, Joe, and Ripper Roo sat around the table, quietly anticipating his first question.
"So, Dr. Cortex, what is it that you specialize in, and what's your link with the heroic bandicoot Crash?" the Viscount narrowed his eyes and tapped a pen against his bottom lip smugly.
Cortex felt his face shoot a deep red, "What's that got to do with anything!? Why I despise that DESPICABLE RODENT?!" everyone stared at him, then he slumped back in his seat with a look of anguish, "Oh very well. I create mutant super-soldiers for my army known as Cortex Commandos for world domination. I obtain these means by blasting wildlife with the Evolvo-Ray – turning them anthropomorphic, and then I'd transfer them into the Cortex Vortex – a machine that brainwashes them to serve only me. Pinstripe, Ripper Roo, and Koala Kong who now lives in Hollywood were the first phase of my mutants. Tiny, the Komodo Bros., and Dingodile came after. I also have a legion of Lab Assistant androids at my back and call. They come in very handy when I don't want my hands getting dirty."
Vincent looked over as a couple of the assistants were clearing up the party gear from earlier. "Incredible. I especially like how well N. Gin turned out; the attention to detail is excellent." he leaned over and prodded a finger on a shocked N. Gin's face as Dingodile and Pinstripe tried desperately to avoid laughing.
"Excuse me, I'm a human!"
"Wow, his intelligence is so advanced, he believes he's equal."
"Urgh!"
"He's not an android. N. Gin is the only one of my minions who is human, well technically half as he's a cyborg. He used to work for the defense industry developing missiles and... you can see where I'm going with this." Cortex gestured at N. Gin's lodged missile.
"Oooh." Vincent awkwardly pulled himself back to his chair.
"He certainly makes a great right-hand assistant. He actually had a predecessor; Dr. N. Brio."
Vincent spat out his coffee, "N. Brio? Sounds like a fetus."
"I know right? Anyway, with Nitrus Brio I created what I intended to be the general of my army and that's how Crash Bandicoot came to be. One night we went out to N. Sanity Isle and captured two bandicoots. We brought them back to the castle lab and despite my pleas that the Vortex could not handle another test after Roo here was a technical failure, Brio was persistent in going ahead with the experiment. After we used the Evolvo-Ray on the male, Brio snapped at me to crank the mammal into the Vortex as quickly as possible, a crazy look in his eye. The machine suffered a complete meltdown to our horror, then Crash jumped down and ran around the room, I tried to catch him without any help from my partner. It was unsuccessful as he escaped by, for lack of a better word crashing through a bay window and into the sea below. After that fateful night, I fired N. Brio for overtaking the project, he went on to claim that he invented the Evolvo-Ray which was a complete fabrication."
A thought crossed N. Gin's face, "But boss, you told me- MY LEG!"
"Right, so you're telling me Crash's very existence is your assistant's fault?"
"Absolutely! If we waited until the machine was fit for purpose, that bandicoot would be on my side. Since then Crash has foiled every one of my schemes. He has been a major thorn in my side that I can never ignore!"
"The exact same assistant that blew up your space station with the bandicoot I seem to believe?"
"That was his way to exact his revenge on me."
"Ok then. Now that we've cleared the air, how about we talk about your castle? Obviously, a lot of work is required to tackle the huge amount of problems that exists. An overabundance of pests, floorboards falling through, that flimsy bridge, faulty wiring, etc... it will take time, but with my expertise in the field of real estate you'll all discover it'll be worth it. Now do you have asbestos?"
"Of course, we like our toilet smelling pretty!" replied N. Gin.
"Not Domestos! Asbestos, its microscopic fibers used in materials to make buildings that can travel into your lungs and kill you." everyone looked at each other horrified, Vincent face-palmed as he marked down another note to test for asbestos.
"I've got down everything I need to fix, unfortunately that factory is beyond repair it will need to go. This is also an occasion to add new things. Dr. Cortex, any changes to the lab you'd like to make?"
"Well, I've always wanted a shark tank!"
"Not possible."
"Uh, a tank full of piranhas?"
"Can't do that either. We have ill-tempered sea bass or electric eels?"
"Eels. That'll come as a big shock to Crash, huh? huh?" he nudged Roo who nodded, his long tongue flapping about.
"I usually don't stay here, me and the boys have our own hideout in the town. That being said, it'd be pretty awesome to have a shooting gallery here, my girl Tawna doesn't like guns in the house." Pinstripe folded his arms.
"What I'd like mate is for the Library to be repaired, I like to read Shakespeare, however it's looking more like "Fifty Shades of Green" now.
Tiny pounded the table, "TINY WANT GYM!"
"Hmm, I would like a more ssssecret place to make counterfeit jewelsss. Plusss I'm not around that oaf brother of mine." Joe rolled his eyes.
"For the Cortex Power factory, I would like to modify it into a robot production facility, imagine what we could accomplish. There's no room in the castle to do that kind of stuff." commented N. Gin.
Vincent stuck his tongue out as he finished writing down recommendations. "Well, that's everyone, oh I'm sorry Ripper Roo, what do you want?" Roo wrote his request on a sheet of paper with the use of his sharp toes, "An amusement park? That might be tricky, but I'll see what I can do. Next, are there any other people who visit?"
"Why yes, my boss a floating mask called Uka Uka, Dr. Nefarious Tropy the so-called 'Master of Time', and there's also my beautiful niece Nina Cortex." Dr. Cortex revealed a photo of Nina dressed in her new school uniform with her extending her bionic fist to punch Cortex for taking it.
"Aww, cute kid. She at school?"
"Mmhm, she studies at Madame Amberly's Academy of Evil, my old school."
"Oh, I've heard of that place. Is it even legal?"
"Got me there."
"Let's continue on shall we- Hang on, if Nina is your niece, why does she have your surname?"
Cortex felt like a deer caught in headlights before he thought of something. "Actually, that's none of your business." he glared at the man directly opposite him.
"Ok, I'll back off, just curious is all. Now let's discuss the subject of payment. I estimate the work to be no more than $1000 and I find it better to be paid in installments as it's so much easier, plus less pressure off you guys. So how much can you manage today? $200? $100?"
Neo looked glum "Um, $1. I'm bone dry." he shook his wallet and a single dollar along with a dust cloud seeped out.
Vincent's expression changed from an eager smile to a sad frown. "Woah, I never knew just how bad it was with your finances. It's no wonder the place is falling to bits. Tell you what, forget the dollar I'll be more than happy to do the entire construction free of charge."
The faces of the Cortex crew lit up, apart from Pinstripe's.
"Are you sure about this? Why?" beamed Cortex.
"Listen, I make tons of money off of other projects to keep me going. I was lucky to be born stinkin' rich, but you weren't. You all have great personalities too. Think about it and give me a call, I'll see myself out." with that he stood up, packed his gear and left the room.
"Mind how you go!" shouted Cortex.
"Oh, I will!" replied Vincent sarcastically.
Pinstripe carefully watched him exit and came up with an excuse to confront him. "Well that was insightful. Just gonna go take out the trash."
This caused his boss to chuckle "Uh, Pinstripe. You feeling ok?"
"No high temperature mate." The irritated potoroo swiped Dingo's hand away.
As he walked through the dark hallways once again, the Viscount paused at a set of doors bordered with black and yellow hazard stripes, the lock was code protected and marked on the doors; 'LAB ASSISTANT GENERATOR' with a warning; 'NO DUMB MUTANTS!', Vincent shook his head and continued on his way out.
Unknown to him, Pinstripe was sneaking close behind doing rolls and crawling along the floor like when he was an ordinary potoroo.
Outside in the front, Pinstripe hid behind a wall as he used his long sensitive ears to listen to Vincent. The billionaire reached into his undercoat for something. "Man, I've been dying to do this all afternoon." As Pinstripe extended his ear, he heard the sound of a dynamite being lit.
"Alright pal, you've had your fun, now put 'em up!" he popped up and aimed his gun. Vincent immediately did as he was told facing his back towards the mobster. "So, you think 'coz you can't squeeze any dough outta Cortex you think 'Oh I'll just blow him sky high then', why I..." as he walked to the front of Vincent, he realized it wasn't a dynamite he was lighting, it was a cigar which was hanging out of his mouth. "Oh, sorry 'bout dat."
"Nah, don't worry. I've just not had one since last night." he took a big puff, "Ohh, that's the sweet stuff."
"Heh, you know I've never actually tried one of them." the pair sat down on some fake grass N. Gin had put down to liven up the place.
Vincent pulled another one out and gave it to Pinstripe. "Here, my treat."
"Thanks, but I..." he tried, but Vincent simply placed it in his mouth and lit it. His eye pupils went all sorts of colors as he smoked it before coughing, "My God! How strong is 'dat?"
"A Maduro, comes from the Dominican Republic. Makes you feel like a right proper gent."
"I guess, but geez. Well, since we're getting to know one another, what genuinely makes you think you can take on this eyesore, I mean where would you even start?" the two smartly-dressed men puffed away as they talked. It was the beginning of sunset.
"I guarantee it will be a big puzzle to solve, but bear in mind you get jigsaw pieces of all shapes and funny sizes but they still manage to fit together in the end."
"Now that's a cool way of lookin' at it. You know, when I first met you this morning, I wasn't certain if you were on the level, and now I sit here thinking 'maybe it is time to upgrade this base' who else would? Know what I'm sayin'?"
"My friend, you have nothing to fear."
That night, Cortex had trouble sleeping. Not only because he was thinking about the Viscount's offer, but Joe slept in the same room and his snores comprised of hissing incensed him to the nth degree. With wide bloodshot eyes, he peered over at the Komodo dragon, his forked tongue flickering as he snoozed. After rubbing his tired eyeballs, the mad doctor decided to go for a stroll through the castle.
N. Gin slept in his office, the office that used to belong to N. Brio. After turning into a monster in his battle with Crash, he fell out the window leaving a gaping hole which lets cool air in, although it didn't faze N. Gin in the slightest as he snuggled up in his bunny pjs with his pink fuzzy slippers at his bedside. Tiny and Dingodile both slept in the Dungeon where the hybrid had set up a small fire to keep warm. Ripper Roo was content sleeping in a room stocked-full of TNTs. Pinstripe decided to stay the night and slept in the Break Room, his gun in the crook of his arm and the cigar Vincent gave him in his other hand.
Cortex meandered up to the Main Lab, the only source of light coming off of numerous rays. He steered his gaze to the moonlit horizon over the Pacific Ocean. He briefly turned his head towards N. Sanity Island. He didn't like to admit someone being smarter than him, but Vincent was right. If he were ever to be taken seriously as a villain, he will have to make some major changes. Holding the business card, he stopped for an instant and spotted the phone.
Among the gorgeous rolling hills of Tasmania lies the Viscount's mansion. Along from the Rocky Hills, the manor sat in an open plain with a crystal blue lake on one side that contained his docked boat and a green coniferous forest on the other. The mansion's decor was a splendid mix of white, and blue on the roof tiles. Two massive windows that puts Cortex's window to shame and even a white limo on the driveway, not to mention it was a few miles from any major roads so there were some peaceful times.
Approaching 1AM, Vincent was happily snoozing in his king size bed, cuddling into a dollar cushion that made a ka-ching sound whenever he squeezed it. His phone began ringing, wearing a sleep mask he bolted up and quickly answered it.
"Hello, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT TIME IT IS?! Oh, it's you Dr. Cortex. Great, I'll be there by lunchtime tomor- err today. Yes, see you then." he hung the phone on the handle and walked to his bed, however instead of getting into bed, he poured himself a glass of rosy wine, and held it towards the stars.
"Here's to a better Cortex Castle."
END OF CHAPTER 3
My that was a long chapter, however I felt it was warranted since I hadn't done one since September. Like always, any thoughts and suggestions are welcome. :-)