"I want a cat." Joan puts her fork down and leans back in her chair. "Sam says no."

"Why?"

"He doesn't really understand the allure of having a pet."

"No, I mean why do you want a cat? You're never home."

"I'm home." Joan balks. "Besides, that's the beauty of having a cat. They're solitary creatures so when I'm gone it's fine and when I'm home I have company. Win, win."

"So if I'm hearing you correctly," I grin, "you've found a pet to adopt and Sam is in for a surprise when he gets home?"

"She's adorable." Joan states. "She's a little older but she has one of those flat faces, and a long, white coat."

I laugh outright. "What's her name?"

"I'm going to let Sam name her," she responds, taking another bite of her quiche. "They need to bond."

"Well, congratulations. You're a cat person now."

She picks up her mug of coffee and raises it towards me in a toast.

"Gotta keep it interesting now that we're an old married couple."

"Yeah, whatever. You love it." I laugh. I know that she does. Joan and Sam are perfect together

"I do," she smiles softly. "I love it. I love him. And speaking of being completely head over heels, let's talk about you for a minute. You're walking around like a lovesick puppy lately. A very satisfied lovesick puppy though. I'll give you that."

I put my fork down and place my hands in my lap. Here goes.

"I'm glad you brought that up. I hoped we could talk about it."

"Oh, we're going to talk about it." She smirks and raises her eyebrows a bit. "I need all the dirty details. I mean, you had an actual hickey when you were changing out of your scrubs a few weeks ago and it was on your-"

"It's Josh." I blurt, just wanting her to stop her train of thought before she can't take it back.

"Josh?" She asks, furrowing her brow. "Oh my God. Josh the hot guy from the maintenance team? Good for you!"

"No." I speak slowly and clearly. "Josh Lyman."

"Wha- what?" If she weren't seated she'd be physically reeling from the news. "Josh, my brother Josh?"

I watch her closely, meeting her eyes. "Yes."

"Why… when… how could you?" She finally cries out in what I'd describe as expiration.

"Joan, don't freak out." I try to remain calm, and to encourage her to keep her voice down.

"Don't freak out? Don't freak out?! You're having a clandestine affair with my little brother and you're trying to shush me?"

"It's nothing illicit," I say a bit defensively. "I'm in love with him."

"Oh, now you're in love." Her voice is dripping with sarcasm. "Well why didn't you just say so?"

"Let me explain."

"What's there to explain?" Her voice is high and scattered and she's past the point of reason as she rambles on, digging through her purse for her wallet, pulling out some cash to toss on the table and make her exit. I follow suit, leaving a generous tip, and chase after her.

"Joan. Wait. I understand that this may come as a surprise to you. But this isn't just some affair. We're two consenting adults that love each other. I thought you'd be happy for us."

"Well I'm not." She snaps forcefully. "And I'll tell you why. Because this, Donna Moss, is a bad idea. You don't know him. Not like I do. He's not husband or fiancé or boyfriend material. He's an egotistical workaholic jackass. And you? You're a people pleaser. You think Chad was bad? Well, you don't know Josh. He's going to use you and leave you when you're no longer convenient and ruin our friendship in the process because that's exactly the selfishway he is."

"That's not fair." I protest. "He's not like Chad. He's a good man that cares about me. How can you even say that?"

"Because I know him, Donna! You've known him for what, a few months? I've known him his entire life. People like Josh don't change. And I think you know that this is a horrible idea or you would have come to me before right now." Her voice levels to a tone that gives me an icy chill. "You're my best friend, even though it doesn't feel as though you share the same sentiments with me on what that friendship means. You asked me to tell you if I thought you were making mistakes. Well, I'm telling you now. You're making a mistake. Break it off with him before he hurts you beyond repair or you unintentionally damage him in places you didn't know he was already broken. Break it off with him and we'll talk."

She turns on her heel and strides away from me, leaving me completely stunned in the middle of the sidewalk. My mouth is hanging partially open in shock but I'm unable to find any of the worlds that I'd like to say. I feel my eyes begin to well with tears as a few people brush past me. I slowly make my way to a metal bench and sit down, shakily pulling out my cell phone and dialing his number.

He answers on the first ring and immediately hears the hurt in my voice.

After frantically checking to make sure I'm safe, he calms down a bit and asks me what's wrong.

I deflect, not wanting to get into it right now. This is between Joan and I and I'll handle things with my best friend on my own. But he knows what's wrong almost immediately. I hear the anger within him boiling towards the surface though he speaks to me in a soothing tone of which I alone am the recipient.

"Do you still have your key? Let yourself into my apartment and take a nice hot bath. I'm going to leave the office now, but I need to make a stop on the way."

"Josh, don't. Please. It'll make it worse." The last thing I want is to create a problem between Josh and Joan with his overreaction.

"I won't make it worse," he tells me cooly. "I've been listening to her tell me how she thinks I should run my life for 35 years, but she's crossed the line this time. I'll see you in an hour."