Alone on Valentine's
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Author's Note:
Originally, this was supposed to be part of a funny story, but it got too dark for my humor so I cut it out and made this into its own thing. Sometimes life is like that. I'm currently working on another story, but I make no promises. Enjoy the bitterness for now.
Also, Valentine's Day is a thing here. Whatever.
/
"Alright, class is dismissed. Remember, even though it's the weekend, you have your assignments due on Monday, so try not to put it off until the last minute."
With that, Byleth had ended yet another lecture for the Black Eagles house. It was a longer lecture, so the sun was already teasing the horizon with the beginning of a sunset. The students slowly but surely began packing up their belongings as they stood up from their seats and headed for the exit. All except for Lindhart, who remained asleep at his desk. The professor didn't even bother trying to wake him up. Caspar was the first to leave the classroom, his walk turning into a full-on sprint as soon as he stepped outside the building. Goddess, did he hate lecture. Why couldn't they just always have practical sparring sessions? Shortly after him was Bernadetta. She didn't like being outside her room more than usual, so naturally, she was making haste. That was, of course, until she heard a voice call her name.
"Bernie~" It was Dorothea, her voice sweet and vocal as ever. Next to her was Petra and Edelgard. "Don't go yet, we want to ask you something."
Bernadetta, on the hand, didn't register the songstress's voice as sweet. She stopped in place and turned to face the taller girl, petrified. "O-Oh no, what did I do now? What do you want? D-do you want my money? Take it! It's yours! Don't hurt me!"
The brunette's face scrunched with concern. "Oh no honey, we're not going to do anything like that."
"Y-you're not?"
A laugh was her response, "No, the three of us were just wondering if you got any gifts. You know, from a secret admirer maaaaybe~"
Edelgard let out a small sigh of contempt. Today was Valentine's Day. It was a celebrated holiday that no one questioned the history of, but everyone used it as an excuse to display their affections towards one another. Kissing, hugging, presents, flowers, it was all associated with this day. Pink, red, fluffy, cute, lovey-dovey, and so on.
And Edelgard hated it.
It was a stupid holiday that was just meant to punish those who were single or not good enough to be in a relationship. Or so she told herself.
"Oh! Uh, um…" The archer's cheeks flushed rather quickly, "I actually g-got a gift earlier t-today…"
Dorothea squealed as Petra's face lit up. "I have much excitement, for you Bernadetta! Who is it from?"
Bernadetta shuffled her feet awkwardly. "Um, well, I don't know..."
The singer practically pounced the smaller girl, causing her to nearly lose her balance as a result of an overwhelming hug. Her eyes glistened as they met Bernadetta's. "Oh, you must tell us! Who is it? Tell us everything."
"I-I-I- don't know! I-I swear I'm telling the truth!" She said as she slipped away from the taller girl's arms and ducked, holding her arms over her head for protection. "Don't hurt me!"
"Why do you keep saying that? Is someone trying to hurt you?" Petra spoke up confused before her face became determined and her hand unsheathed a hunting knife. "I will cut them."
Edelgard put a hand on Petra's shoulder, quietly reassuring her everything was fine while Dorothea continued to gush over Bernadetta's mysterious love life. Thankfully, the huntress put away her weapon.
"So it is a secret admirer!" The singer was spinning around in circles, dancing around the shy archer as though she was in a different world.
"It was in my room when I woke up." Bernadetta continued. "I think they slipped it under my door this morning… or, oh no- maybe they snuck into my room last night in a failed attempt to kill me! Waaaaah!"
"Oh, Bernie~" Dorothea wrapped her arms around the very uncomfortable student, "You're too cute to die! Please, tell us what your gift was."
"W-well, it was a letter-"
"Oh my Goddess, a love letter. So romantic!"
Edelgard wanted to throw up as the girls continued to blabber on. The way Dorothea was embracing the holiday spirit was disgusting. Everything about this day was disgusting. Why do people have to give gifts and show affection today in particular? What was wrong with giving gifts and showing affection throughout the rest of the year? Just because someone gives you chocolate on this one day means that they love you? Absurd. She didn't like chocolate anyway. Not when it was wrapped up in a pretty pink bow that screamed "be mine" or "I love you" or something dumb like that. Then there would be something equally dumb to accompany it, like a stuffed teddy bear. It was expected that boys would gift girls dumb stuff like these and then it was expected that the girls would say "Oh, how sweet! I love you too!" and then they would spend the rest of the day together romantically. How stupid. And let's not forget about the flowers. Oh, Goddess the flowers. Overpriced roses would seal the deal. Yes, forget all the effort that went in a given relationship- if there weren't any roses, there wasn't anything period. This whole thing was a sham. A stupid, dumb, moronic-
"What about you, Edie?"
"Huh?"
Edelgard found herself being stared at by the other three girls. It didn't take long for her to piece together that they had all shared their Valentine's Day plans and now it was her turn.
"Apparently the three of us have a busy schedule tonight," The songstress's pupils dilated the longer she stared at the imperial princess. "Are you seeing anyone tonight, too?"
Edelgard paused. She gave a small smile. So small that it was impossible to tell that it was fake.
The real reason Edelgard hated Valentine's Day…
...was that she was never asked out.
Yes, Edelgard von Hresvelg, the imperial princess and heir to the Adrestian Empire, had never been asked out on Valentine's Day.
She was never gifted chocolates, she was never gifted cute stuffed teddy bears, she was never gifted cookies. She never received any confessions or anonymous love letters. No one ever approached her to tell her how beautiful she was or asked if she was free for the day or just to see if she wanted to share a cup of tea. No one ever gave her roses or any type of flower for that matter. So when she heard that a recluse like Bernadetta received a love letter, she couldn't help but feel that much more unwanted. When she heard that Dorothea had multiple guys asking for her time privately year after year, she wanted to disappear. When she started comparing herself to Petra because the foreign princess was approached by several boys, she questioned what was wrong with herself. She was a princess too. Was it just bad luck? Did boys not like her? Did she smell?
"Of course."
Lie. A bold lie, but a lie nonetheless.
"Edie! Tell us who it is!" Dorothea was practically frothing at the mouth. Petra actually had to hold the brunette back to prevent her from jumping the house leader. Bernadetta was absolutely terrified at the sight of Dorothea nearly yelling now. "We need to know! I need to know!"
"A-apologies, Edelgard." The Brigid native strained, holding back the romantically infatuated student, "I will take her to her room for a bit. You remember how she becomes on Valentine's Day, yes?"
That comment did genuinely get a chuckle out of the princess, but she still felt inferior to all the girls around her, causing her voice to sound low and disappointed when she spoke, "Yes, of course. Thank you, Petra."
"Come now, Dorothea, let us, ugh, return to your room." Petra continued to struggle as she did her best to push, lift, and even drag the singer away.
"But Edie is seeing someone and I need to know who it is howcanInotknowwhoitisdon'tyouwanttoknowtooPetrait'stoomuchtobearohmyGoddessIhavetoknowIhavetoknowIhavetoknowIhavetoknowIhavetoknow…"
Dorothea's voice disappeared as the two went off into the distance, turning around a larger hallway to head back to the student rooms. Edelgard let out a small sigh of relief before turning around to face Bernadetta. However, she was a bit miffed when she realized Bernadetta wasn't there anymore. She quickly figured that the shy girl had retreated to her room the first chance she got to sneak away from the conversation. This left her alone.
As usual.
Her eyes were on the ground, saddened and defeated. Was she really that unwanted? It's not like she needed the attention, but it would've been nice, just once. Not even one man wanted her. She was a princess. She was popular, wasn't she? How was this even possible? She wasn't particularly unattractive- every boy that Dorothea gossiped about said that the imperial princess was beautiful. Some even said she was, to quote the songstress, "hot" and "sexy". Perhaps it had less to do with her body than she thought. But isn't that what boys are interested in? Even if it was fake- even if they were only interested in sex, it would've been nice to be asked out. Edelgard frowned. It would explain why Dorothea was always the number one choice when it came to boys. Big boobs. Nice butt. It wasn't fair.
The white-haired girl turned her attention back to the classroom entrance. But then what about the other two girls? Petra was quite busty herself, but she never showed off her top-side (on purpose). Maybe it had to do with her shorter skirt. She showed more leg than most, even more than the romantically-inclined brunette. Plus, Petra had her own charms; somehow, being foreign was attractive, as the huntress found herself pursued by a multitude of boys at any given moment. Perhaps not as much as Dorothea, but it was comparable.
Edelgard crossed her arms. The sex-appeal factor only made sense to a certain extent; while the two more developed girls had their pick of courters, Bernadetta, who never showed skin and had less to show than the imperial princess, had an anonymous love letter in her possession. How? How did someone like her get something like that? Why didn't Edelgard get one? Or anything for that matter.
"Tsk. I'm so disgusting." In truth, Edelgard wasn't a particularly jealous person, but this holiday brought the worst out of her. She hated this day and hated the way she was thinking about her friends even more. She shouldn't be jealous. She should be happy for them!
So why couldn't she be?
Before she could further wallow in her thoughts, something caught her eye. She glanced over to her professor getting up from his seat, packing up his materials rather quickly. It was at that moment a rather desperate and ill-thought-out idea passed her.
She could always ask someone out.
But her professor? He was close to the students in age, but he was still the professor.
She stared at him for a bit.
Then she began to approach him.
He was easy on the eyes. He was intelligent. He would understand her. He was in good shape. He was popular. He was more mature than others. Her mind raced with all the reasons as to why this would be a good idea. In all honesty, she was nervous, but she couldn't be alone another year. Not again.
"P-professor."
Byleth's eyes shot open, looking at his student right in her eyes. She had caught him off guard.
"Ah, Edelgard. How can I help you?" He asked as he continued to pack his belongings, not really slowing down.
Shit. She didn't actually think she'd get this far. She began to mentally berate herself. "Just ask if he's free tonight. It's simple. You can kill a person but you can't ask your professor out? Unbelievable."
"I have a question about our assignment."
She made a mental note to kick herself later that night.
Byleth exhaled disappointingly. Edelgard couldn't help but think that was strange. It was unlike him to sigh in a disheartening manner. Unless… did she do something wrong? Her heart sank at the thought.
"I'm sorry Edelgard, I actually have somewhere to be soon."
"Oh, I see."
"A date. You understand."
"Ah… yes… of course."
The swordsman gave his student a brief smile before slinging his bag over his shoulder. "Stop by quarters tomorrow around noon. I can help you go over whatever questions you have then, okay?"
"Y-yes, thank you, my teacher." Edelgard tried hard to keep her small smile, to keep her eyes on his.
The professor nodded before departing rather quickly and saying a brief "farewell". As soon as he was out of range, Edelgard's head hung low, her eyes on the ground again.
Of course. What was she expecting? Did she really think the most attractive and popular professor in the monastery wouldn't already have women lined up for me? Women, not girls. She was just a girl. A stupid, jealous, lonely girl.
With her sullen expression, Edelgard began to make her way to her room. But not without more intrusive, self-deprecating thoughts. She let out a silent exhale. This was horrible. She might as well-
"Wait."
She attempted to ask her professor on a date. As strange as that may have sounded, it was a rather liberating thought. If she could (try to) ask her professor out on a date, why couldn't she ask others? Hadn't she thought about this before? Yes! It was definitely backward and even embarrassing, but it was either that or be alone once again.
But who? She wasn't particularly interested in anyone in her house for a variety of reasons. Lindhart wasn't a bad person, but his laziness was definitely a turn-off. He'd probably go to sleep before a potential date would start. Between his spite for academics and desire to constantly engage in hand-to-hand combat, Caspar was too wild for her. It would be a miracle if he could hold up a conversation about… well, anything other than fighting tactics. She saw him as a little brother at best. Ferdinand wasn't a bad option either. He was tall, kind, and actually good-looking. But damn was he annoying. Edelgard would probably pull her hair out halfway into the date. "Duty" this and "noble" that and Goddess forbid if he said his name one more time. And Hubert… she grimaced at the thought. Hubert was Hubert. Although he would drop everything to be by her side, he would do so out of loyalty, nothing more. She never truly saw him as a romantic interest.
She let out a defeated laugh.
This was assuming they'd all say yes. Goddess knows with her luck, they all already have girls they intend on spending time with tonight.
Edelgard continued to walk towards her room and down the hallways.
Maybe she was thinking too small. Maybe she had to look outside her house. There had to be somebody who wasn't coupled together for tonight. She didn't know much about the boys from other houses, but she had some idea of what they looked like. The only two she was somewhat familiar with were the other house leaders, Claude and Dimitri.
Claude was a complete mystery. Once you think you have him figured out, he'd surprise you with something that would undo your thoughts on him. And, strangely enough, Edelgard found that fascinating. Being raised as a princess, she was basically forced to learn about each and every person she came across. "Know thy enemy", her father always told her. It was important she knew who liked what, who was cheating on who, what would convince who to do what, and so on. She was rather adept at political "chess", so it was infuriating when Claude was a walking storm of confusing nonsense. He liked ketchup, but only on his eggs in the morning. That would switch to the afternoon if it was the weekend, and only before he showered- who else functioned like this? It was maddening! What difference did it make if Hilda wanted him to have both ketchup and mustard on his eggs before noon during the weekdays-
"Dammit."
Hilda. Claude was seeing Hilda.
…
Maybe?
True to her perception of the tactician, Edelgard wasn't actually confident that Claude was seeing Hilda romantically. Sometimes she would see them holding hands intimately, and other times she would see them individually kissing others and then talking about it between themselves! Was it an open relationship? It wouldn't be out of the question for the future Alliance leader, but then again, nothing ever was.
Edelgard rubbed her temples, being careful to brush strands of her hair behind her ear afterward as to not dishevel her looks. She could come back to Claude later. What about Dimitri?
Dimitri, in her eyes, was such a goodie-two-shoes. So much so that it bothered her. She figured he would probably be the type of guy to treat a lady perfectly for a day like today up until the end. He would hold her hand, call her beautiful, engage in deep and meaningful conversation, pay for dinner, give her gifts, and even walk her back to her room. However, when it could come to a goodnight (or even a more inviting) kiss, he'd probably fumble a bit before coming up with some excuse to not kiss before leaving, thus ruining the night. What good would a date like that be if there was no kiss? Edelgard wasn't a harlot, but damn even she wanted to be kissed. At least once.
She turned the corner and stopped. One more hallway before her room.
It was infuriating in its own way. Dimitri was actually quite attractive, understanding, tall, and a gentle soul to top it all off. Why did he have to be so soft though? The only times she would see him not being such a pushover was when they engaged in heated debates, which frankly happened quite often. They had differences in public policies and that, for some reason, was the thing that brought out the worst in him. Whenever a heat discussion like that would come up, Claude would often have to step in. To any other student, it looked like Edelgard and Dimitri hated each other. Yet, when they weren't at each others' necks, they were actually quite civil.
She forced herself to move again, walking towards the final hallway. She didn't want to be in her room alone again. Not today.
Another sigh escaped her as she turned the corner and-
"Ah!"
"O-oh, I'm sorry. Are you alright?"
She looked up at who she bumped into. As fate would have it, it was the leader of the Blue Lions house. She cursed herself as a small blush came across her face. She had to be thinking of him romantically right then and there. "I'm fine. Are you okay?"
Dimitri nodded. "I'm quite alright. Sorry, I wasn't watching where I was going."
"It's fine," she moved around the blond. "Have a good night."
"You as well, Edelgard." He responded as he continued on his way.
Silence.
"Wait."
Dimitri stopped and turned around to face Edelgard's back. She spoke but hadn't the courage to quite face him yet.
"H-how are you?"
What a dumb question. She was scared of getting rejected again so, in her best efforts, she forced herself to speak up and ask Dimitri about his plans tonight. So a stuttering "how are you" was practically a slap to her own face.
"Uh, I'm fine." The prince raised an eyebrow. "Is everything alright?"
Edelgard finally turned around to face him, her entire body tense. "Yes, I'm fine."
"..."
"..."
"...That's, uh… good?"
"Yes."
More silence. Edelgard wished for death.
"...Was there something you needed?"
The princess tried her damndest to keep her eyes pinned on his. Was she really that bad at this?
"Ah, well… yes, actually there is." Her heart was beating so fast, she could hear it in her ears.
"Oh?" Dimitri shifted his weight, his face full of concern. "What is it? I'd be happy to help any way I can."
This was it. "Um, well, how do I put this?" Wow. She was stalling. Edelgard. Stalling.
"I'm so sorry Edelgard," The prince interrupted her. He let out a small laugh and shook his head, a bit saddened, "I actually have to confess something to you."
Her heart stopped.
"O-oh? And what is your confession?"
Oh Goddess, was he actually going to profess his love for her? She was desperate, but she didn't actually expect Dimitri to confess right here and now. Was this actually happening? Was this real?
"I'm actually quite busy right now. I know I just said I'd be happy to help, but I don't think I have the time to." He curled his lips up into a sad smile. "I'm sorry. Maybe we can talk later?"
Edelgard thought she couldn't feel any worse. She was wrong.
"Ah yes, of course." She looked away. "A date, right?"
"Please say no, please say no, please say no, please say no, please-"
"Yes, actually," Another small laugh escaped his lips. "She actually asked me out and I didn't have the heart to refuse.
He might as well have slapped her across the face and called her a bitch.
"That's wonderful." She smiled the biggest, fakest smile she could muster. "I hope you enjoy your time. We'll talk later."
She turned around and began a brisk walk down the hallway back towards her room, not even giving Dimitri a proper chance to say goodbye. She did her best to rapidly blink away any forming tears. Thankfully, her glassy eyes retained the waterworks.
She fumbled with her door keys a bit before opening up the door and entering her room. The worst part was that she actually wanted him to say no. That way, she wouldn't feel so alone. It would've been nice to know someone else was single for tonight as well. She let out another pathetic sigh as she stared at herself in the long mirror on her wall. "I'm so disgusting." No wonder no one wanted to be with her. If she truly enjoyed the misery of others for her own selfish desires, it shouldn't have been a surprise that she was spending Valentine's Day alone again.
Her eyes began to water again, threatening to spill over-
She shook her head. No, no. She wasn't a child anymore. She had no time for this nonsense. So she was rejected. So what? She was going to be emperor of Adrestia! She didn't have time to worry about silly nonsense like this. It shouldn't bother her so much.
"Don't do this." She told herself, her hand curling into small, powerful fists.
"D-don't do this." She sniffed, her knuckles were turning white.
"D-don't…"
It was too late. She collapsed onto her knees and brought her hands to her face.
For the first time in a long time, Edelgard cried.