I'm sipping a cup of hot tea in Josh's living room the next morning when I hear him wake up. He's slept in longer than I anticipated, but the rustle of the sheets followed by the creak of a floorboard is a dead give away that he's up. Though I want to rush over and help him, I remain where I am. He may still be a bit weak but he can easily handle taking care of his morning routine on his own, and I want to give him his independence as much as possible.
Eventually he shuffles out of the bathroom and down the hall to join me at the breakfast table.
"Good morning." He slowly leans over and kisses me hello before taking a seat.
"Good morning yourself. How did you sleep?"
"Better," he admits, scrubbing his hand over his face. "At least the room was dark and nobody came in to wake me up and prod at me during the night."
He stretches his neck a bit and I immediately know why. I slept through the majority of the night in his hospital bed but it was cramped quarters to say the least. I'm a bit sore myself. We won't be doing that again.
"Do you want some breakfast?" I offer. "I was going to make oatmeal."
"How about two fried eggs and French toast?"
"Seems unlikely." I quip, heading into the kitchen, making two bowls of steel cut oats and adding a dash of cinnamon and handful of blueberries to each.
"Hey Donna?" He asks, capturing my attention.
"Hmm?" I look up from the blueberries I'm rinsing to see him looking around the apartment.
"Where's all of your stuff?" He's wearing a confused face and he looks a bit nervous as well.
"It's in my gym bag," I tell him. "The purple one that Sam carried up here for me last night."
"Ahkay... But where's the rest of it?"
"This is all I'll need for a few days. I can go home and get whatever else I'll need later on in the week."
"Oh." He stares at me and blinks twice. I can tell he's disappointed even though he tries not to show it.
"What is it?" I ask him.
"Nothing." He mutters, though I know that's not true.
"Josh…" I hand him a glass of water and place his pills in front of him before returning for our bowls of oatmeal and spoons.
He picks up the spoon and begins pushing around his oatmeal in the bowl. Finally he drops the silverware and leans back in his chair.
"I just thought you were bringing it all. Your things, I mean." He declares, finally meeting my eyes again.
"How much stuff will I need to stay with you for a couple of months?"
"I guess I was under the impression that you were agreeing to stay forever."
My jaw drops slightly and I find myself at a loss for words.
"I'm not asking you to be my nurse for a few months, Donna. I'm asking you to be my partner in every aspect of my life."
Something clicks in my head and I have no idea how I missed his intent the first time. The flowers. The nervousness written all over his face.
I grin unabashedly and kiss him. It may be a little fast, but when everything is so perfect, why fight it?
"It's good to be home," he smirks, a dimple making an appearance, when I finally pull away.
We make plans for me to move my belongings to his place over breakfast, deciding in the process that we'll buy a new bed. One that's better for his back and has the ability to tilt the head forward, so we can spend the next few months side by side while he recovers.
I'm not attached to any of my hodge podge furniture from my old place, and I tell him as much. I can easily sell it though, and since I'm on a month to month lease it won't be difficult to end things with my landlord.
I'm glad I've taken the rest of the week off, because in addition to Josh's care we've also added a lot to my plate. None of it feels like a chore, though, because I'm over the moon to be making this commitment with him.
"I've never lived with anyone before," he tells me that afternoon.
I know he's aware of my situation with Chad, so I don't feel the need to point it out in that moment. I want today to be about us- about making good memories and starting a future together.
"So it's important to me that you know I really want this to work long term," he continues. "Not just for 6 months or a year, but for the long haul. And I know you probably don't want to talk about Dr. Freeride right now and, believe me, neither do I, but I want you to know that things are going to be different this time. I'm not him. I don't expect you to cook and clean and cater to my every whim. I don't expect my career to come before yours or my feelings to be more important. In fact, I'd love to take care of you sometimes, too. I want this to be a partnership."
How he knows exactly what I need to hear, I'll never understand. But I'm so thankful I found him.
I lean over and give him a gentle kiss.
"Partners." I restate, emphasizing the importance of the equality he's placing on our roles in this relationship.
He eventually lays back down for a nap and I boot up my laptop to finish enrolling in my courses for my BSN program and taking care of a few other routine tasks such as paying my electric bill.
I don't want to make the same mistake twice, so when I'm chopping vegetables for our dinner, I pick up the phone and call Joan. She's the first person that I'm sharing our news with and though her approval doesn't correlate to my happiness with Josh, I find myself to be a little nervous for her response.
I'm holding my breath when she lets out an excited squeal and tells me she's thrilled, sending us heartfelt congratulations. She offers to help me pack my things and volunteers Sam to assist on moving day. I end the call with a huge smile on my face.
Finally, everything in my life just seems so right.