DITHCLAIMER!
Romin: The following ith, like, totally a non-profit fan-bathed parody. Yu-Gi-Oh Thevenths ith, like, totally NOT owned by Donjuthtithia, itths owned by Goha Corp, like everything elthe. Pleathe thupport the offithial releathe, by liking, commenting, and thubthcribing to my channel.
Donjusticia: Uhm…Romin, this isn't for your channel.
Romin: Ugh, like, do you theriousthly think I do thith for free?
Donjusticia: What do you think, "non-profit" means?
Romin: Ugh, like, I totally know what "non-profit" meanths. Iths like, you know, that one guy, with the big long beard, who like, parted the Red Thea or whatever?
Donjusticia: You're referring to Moses. That's a prophet. This is different.
Romin: Like, whatever, Ith not like I'm here to do your thtupid dithclaimerth anyway.
Donjusticia: Yeah, I guess you're right. The real reason I called you over here was so you could sing the theme song!
Romin: *pales before swallowing* Ugh…thorry…did I like…hear you correctly? Did you thay…thing…the theme thong?
Donjusticia: Yeah, it'll be great!
Romin: Ugh…yeah…tho…uhm…I forgot that I have to be thomewhere elthe, thoooooooo…
Donjusticia: Ah, don't be silly! I heard you're really talented.
Romin: Ugh, well, I mean, like, of courthe I have the voithe of a goddeth, but like uh…I mean…I could jutht do like…you know…a guitar tholo…or…whatever? Without any lyricths?"
Donjusticia: Yeah, see, I can't transcribe that on paper…or digital paper in this case…so I'm actually thinking there will be no guitar, and it will purely be your voice.
*Hands over the microphone*
The Yu-Gi-Oh Sevens Theme Song!
(As sung by Romin Kirishima)
Romin: *Gulps and sweats* Uhhhhh…mmmm…
*music starts*
Romin: Gah! Uhm…uh…Ruth, ruth, go ruth…thomething thometing ruth! *face turns beat red*
*The song continues but Romin sings nothing*
Donjusticia: Uhm…Romin?
Romin: Thith thow ith lame! I'm quitting becauthe itth's LAME! Goodnight, lotherth!
*Runs away*
Yu-Gi-Oh Sevens AbridgeMENT Chapter 3
Romin is NOT secretly a Spy!
It had been just another typical day for Romin. After waking up and following behind Yuga while taking dozens upon dozens of photos, which had nothing to do with her being secretly a stalker or spy, Romin retired to her room to record another music video for her channel with the help of her many, many, many musically talented friends, who were totally real and not imaginary friends she made up because she's incredibly lonely.
"Ok, tho it wath great that our latht video got, like, a million liketh, but I've already lotht all the thelf-validathion from that video, tho we're gonna have to at leatht triple our thubthcriber count to thatithfy my narthithithm." Romin directed her band, which, again, was composed of totally real people and NOT imaginary friends.
"I'm happy to do the keyboard accompaniment for you," Carole from "Carole and Tuesday," replied, "buuuut…I'm a little concerned with your obsession of constantly getting more views. Shouldn't you focus more on connecting with real friends rather than trying to win the clicks of complete strangers?"
"Can it, Carole!" Romin snapped. "Also, Jirou, how many timeth do I have to tell you to thwitch your earths to U.S.B.? I mean…hello! Nobody utheth jackths anymore, how will you plug into the amplifier? Ah, forget it. Maybe I'll jutht have you do the vocalths inthtead."
"You do realize that any vocals I give to your music won't be heard in the video since I'm just an imaginary friend you took from 'My Hero Academia,' and can't produce real noise, right?" she pointed out.
"Thuthuthuth!" Romin shushed, placing her finger against Jirou's mouth. "We all know that what you meant to thay wath that you are all totally real becauthe I'm fabulouth and, like, totally have loths of friends."
"I don't think you're going to be able to ignore your subconscious forever." Yui from "K-on" warned.
"Ugh, like, theriouthly, why do you have to keep contradicting me? What kind of (totally real not imaginary) friendths are you guyths!?" Romin scoffed.
"We're just trying to look out for you." Jirou reassured Romin. "You know, that's sort of my thing, being a hero even if it's not popular. It's why you chose me as an imaginary friend."
"I with I could be a hero like you." Romin mumbled, holding her guitar closer to herself.
"Ah, the guilt again." Jirou replied, nodding knowingly. "You want to talk about the thing you've been denying?"
"OK, I admit it!" Romin moaned, throwing her hands in the air, "I know I'm not abtholutely fabulouth! I'm not actually a thuper thuccethful rock-thtar, I don't have an agent, I don't live in a manthion, I don't have a thexy thupermodel body like a goddeth, all my 'friendths' are imaginary crothover characterths from other obthcure animeth, and I'm thuper inthecure about my lithp! I can't thing well with thith lithp! LITHP! I can't even thay 'lithp' right! THERIOUTHLY! What kind of thick thadithtic monthter giveth a thpeech condithion a name that only the people WITH that dithability will end up mithpronounthing!?"
"Not exactly the confession I was thinking of…but…at least its progress." Jirou sighed.
"Don't worry," Tuesday Simmons reassured a sobbing Romin. "Your two front teeth will grow back."
"Yeah," Mugi agreed, offering Romin a cake (before stealing the strawberry), "I bet you'll become a great singer eventually."
"You guyths really think tho?" Romin sniffled. "Thakura, give me your honetht opinion on thith one."
"Brains!" Sakura Minamoto groaned.
"Thankths Thakura, you're the betht imaginary zombie friend a friendleth lother like me could athk for." Romin sighed.
"You don't have to be friendless." Jirou suggested. "What about Gakuto, Rook, and that Yuga boy you're constantly following? I bet they'd make great friends. You'd just have to actually talk with them more…and maybe stop hiding your secrets from them?"
"What thecreths thould I tell them?" Romin innocently asked.
"I don't know, maybe you could start with the one that's hiding in your guitar case?" Prima Guitarna suggested.
"What did I tell you about getting out of your cathe and manifethting yourthelf in my thubconthiouth!? Romin snapped at the cognitive manifestation of her secret ace monster.
"You're going to have to reveal your skills eventually." Her ace monster warned.
"Not to mention what you've been doing with all those pictures." Jirou sighed.
"Like, THUT UP ALREADY!" Romin griped. "They mutht never know about that! I've been doing a good job covering my trackths by conthtantly denying it, but iths not gonna thtay a thecret if you guyths can't keep your imaginary mouths thut!"
"They'll figure it out on their own if you don't tell them." Guitarna huffed. "In fact, I'd be surprised if they don't suspect something already."
"I don't know about you guys, but I don't suspect anything at all." Yuga admitted after Rook and Gakuto confided in him their suspicions about Romin secretly being a stalker and spy.
"We've been over this, Yuga." Rook growled. "Goha has been taking action against all Rush Duelists
"Except, suspiciously, the Rush Duels you've been part of." Gakuto added.
"Clearly, they want to monitor us some more, and I have a pretty good idea who's been doing the observing." Rook concluded.
"Who are we talking about again?" Yuga innocently asked.
"ROMIN!" Rook snarled.
"Oh, that girl?" Yuga asked. "Yeah. She's nice."
"You don't suspect anything about her?" Rook asked, incredulously. "Anything at all?"
"Why wouldn't I trust her?" Yuga replied, scratching his head.
"Well, not to be rude," Rook sighed, "but there have been a few signs. Here's a montage in case you missed any of them."
MONTAGE TIME!
Yesterday…
Romin: Hey Yuga, mind pathing me your thecret journal?
Yuga: Sure thing, Romin.
Romin: Thankths, I promithed thomeone I'd thend them a picture. *flips through all the pages while taking pictures of each one*
The day before that…
Romin: Hey Yuga, mind helping me with my homework?
Yuga: Sure thing, Romin. What's it about?
Romin: It'ths athking what Yuga'ths thecret weakneth ith, but I can't figure it out.
Yuga: Oh, that's easy! It's green bell peppers. I HATE those things! My mom keeps trying to get me to eat them, but I always end up throwing them away.
Romin: Thankths, Yuga. Now if I could have you thpeak into thith recorder, I'd jutht like to get your phone number, email, thothial thecurity, and other bitths of thenthitive informathion.
Yuga: Sure thing, Romin!
And before that…
Romin: *Hiding behind the shower curtain in Yuga's bathroom* Hey Yuga, mind pathing me my toothbruth? I put it right nextht to yourth.
Yuga: *brushing his teeth* Sure thing, Romin.
Romin: Thankths, Yuga. Altho, if you don't mind, could you hide thome thnackths under your bed? I thometimeth get hungry at night.
Yuga: Mom doesn't like me sneaking food into my room, but I'll see what I can do.
Romin: Thankths, Yuga.
Yuga: Sure thing, Romin!
…
"Huh." Yuga said to himself after a bit of reflection. "Now I think of it…you guys do bring up a good point."
"Finally!" Rook sighed. "So what do you say, Yuga? Want to give some stitches to this snitch?"
"Well, I don't know about that," Yuga replied, "but then again, since Romin is our friend,"
"That's debatable." Gakuto commented.
"then it might be fun to learn her secret." Yuga finished, "Or maybe…" his face suddenly brightened with a new idea. "Rook, I know what we're gonna do today!"
(A/N: This joke is totally original to Donjustcia and NOT something someone else suggested in a certain review. All credit and praise should be given to Donny for this spot-on comparison of Yuga to Phineas.)
LATER!
"Overload, overload, it'ths a kawaii cat-earphone overload!" Romin quietly lisped to herself, listening to music on her cat-ear headphones while sitting in an empty classroom…alone…like always.
"No Guitarna, I do not thound like a dying duck." She added to nobody in particular. "We've been over thith. My voithe, like everything elthe about me, ith worthy of a goddeth! No, I'm not in complete denial again! I'll prove it! I'll thing right now and not care if a thingle perthon walkths in and hears me! Ahem…"
(A/N: What proceeds this can be classified as many things, but certainly not singing.)
"ANYTHING YOU CAN THING, I CAN THING HIGHER! I CAN THING AnEyTHAnG HIghuh ThaAAaaaAaaaa…!"
"Hey Romin!" Yuga called from outside the door. "Is that you singing in there?"
"YUGA!?" Romin squeaked, instantly stopping before hastily stuffing her earphones under her desk, face blushing beet-red. "Oh my goth! What are you doing here!? I thought I made it exthplithitly clear that I don't appreciate having you in my prethenthe UNLETH I'm thtalking you on my own termths!"
"What was that now?" Yuga asked.
"NOTHNG!" Romin sang. "Tho anyway, Yuga, what ith it you wanted to talk about…and what the heck are you thoving into my fathe?"
"It's my new road!" Yuga enthused.
"Weird name for a microphone hanging from a fithing pole, but okay." Romin shrugged. "Note to thelf, add in your thecret report that Yuga ith altho completely crathy."
"It's not crazy!" Yuga protested. "It's a fully functioning polygraph"
"Ath in…a lie detector?" Romin gulped, beet-red face instantly paling.
"Exactly!" Yuga agreed, nodding his head with excitement, "I thought we could all take turns using it in a fun truth-or-dare style game to share each other's deepest darkest secrets since we're all friends!"
"F-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-friendths!?" Romin exclaimed in complete shock before mumbling rapidly under her breath, "Jirou, what the heck!? I'm not ready for thith! No, Guitarna, I'm not gonna thay any of that!"
"What was that you whispered?" Rook asked, eyes turning to slits.
"I like to routinely mumble that Rook ith a total cootypanths for never getting off my cathe about the thingths I have privathy rightths to." Romin sarcastically replied before sticking her tongue out.
"I'd be more than willing to ignore you if you'd stop being a total stalker." Rook growled back.
"Ok, let's not fight guys!" Yuga hastily interrupted. "Here, watch, I'll go first! Ahem…my cheerful, happy-go-lucky demeanor is partially a front used to hide the fact that I am secretly terrified of a darker personality lurking just beneath the depths of my subconscious."
The machine gave a happy sounding truth beep.
"What was that?" Gakuto asked, looking at Yuga with concern.
"Ugh, nothing imprethive." Romin scoffed. "I learned that tidbit months ago."
"Now it's your turn!" Yuga enthused, holding the microphone up to Romin. "Just say anything you want to, and my road will tell us if it's true or false."
"Okay…" Romin hesitantly replied, face screwed up in what looked like desperate and quick thinking. "but what if I thay thomething tho egregiouthly falthe that your mathine can't handle how illogical it ith?"
"I don't think you could say anything that bad." Yuga replied.
"I legitimately enjoyed 'The Rithe of Thkywalker,' and I'm not being thponthored by Dithney to thay thith."
"No…that's not true! THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Yuga's machine screamed in agony.
"Thearch your databankths, you know ith's true." Romin solemnly replied.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The machine replied before exploding.
"Oh no, I acthidentally exthploded your mathine, which I totally didn't intend to do." Romin apologized in a nonchalant way.
"Huh, maybe I should put my roads through a test period before immediately releasing them for use." Yuga mused to himself.
"But anyway," Romin continued, "thinth we're on the thubject of revealing each other'th thecretths and you promithed to let me record you thleeping tonight…"
"WAIT!" Gakuto yelped. "Yuga, when did you promise this!?"
"I don't exactly remember making any promises," Yuga admitted, "but I honestly don't see anything wrong with it."
"After what we just talked about!?" Rook growled.
"Also, there's just the very slight issue of…oh…I don't know…LETTING A GIRL WALK INTO YOUR BEDROOM AT NIGHT!" Gakuto bellowed.
"What'th wrong with that?" Romin asked. "I've been recording videoth in Yuga'th houthe for like…three weekths now."
"Three…weeks!?" Gakuto sputtered. "And you didn't think to tell me about this, Yuga!?"
"You can come to my house too, if you want." Yuga innocently invited.
"That's not the point!" Gakuto spat, "I am putting my foot down! As president of the school's moral committee, I am NOT about to allow you and Romin to-…"
"I think we'd LOVE to visit your house!" Rook interrupted, slapping his hound over Gakuto's mouth.
"Awesome!" Yuga enthused. "We can hang out in my laboratory, play with my roads, do a couple duels, and sleep over!"
"Ugh, fine, I gueth I'll go along with it." Romin scoffed. "But don't exthpect me to get along with thethe lotherth while I'm thecretely recording your every move."
"Sorry, I didn't catch that, Romin," Yuga apologized, before scooping Romin, Gakuto, and Rook into a massive (and rather awkward) hug, "Oh, this is so exciting! I'm so happy to have all you guys as my friends! Yay, friendship!"
"Exactly why are we doing this?" Gakuto hissed to Rook.
"Because there's a good chance that Romin will slip and we'll finally catch her with hard evidence." Rook explained, "Also, look at Yuga, do you really think he stands a chance alone with her?"
"You make a good point." Gakuto sighed. "But while we're having this side conversation that apparently neither Yuga nor Roman can hear, let's also not forget that Romin won't be the only one being watched…demon."
"Right back at you, slayer." Rook growled back.
LATER!
"And this is my hyper-advanced Road Laboratory!" Yuga enthused, giving his three bestest friends a tour of his wacky laboratory chock-full of inventions ranging from the "Phineas and Ferb" to straight-up Dr. Seuss.
"Ok, so how exactly do you make all these crazy inventions and WHERE do you even get the materials to do it!?" Gakuto gaped in disbelief while examining a Rube Goldberg Machine, which was making more Rube Goldberg Machines, which all proceeded to form a committee to discuss the merits of the extra Pendulum Zones before retiring to their homes to be reset.
"Well," Yuga replied. "it all started when…"
FLASHBACK!
Shoichi: *Speaking to Yusaku* So I got this shipment of weird equipment from someone called Yili…Yala…well anyway, I can't pronounce their name, but here it is.
*shows Yusaku a package labeled "Yliaster"*
Shoichi: And honestly, I don't have any use for this junk…also…my van is getting kind of full…so…mind if I dump it at your place?
Yusaku: Eh, what do I care? Do what you want. My kid likes to play with it anyway.
Yuga: *Smashing together two Meklord pieces* I'm building a deckazord!
Shoichi: Aren't you a little young to be constructing a fully-functional mecha?
Yuga: Yes. Yes I am.
Shoichi: *shrugs* Whelp, good enough for me. *dumps all his junk on Yusaku's lawn before driving off*
…
"And that's how that happened." Yuga finished. "Though I still haven't figured out where my drone's programming came from…"
"Did I catch wind of some puny humans discussing my greatness?" Yuga's drone hummed before hovering into the laboratory. "Also…" it continued with a little wolf-whistle at Romin, "Hello gorgeous. What's a dame like you doing with a loser like this?"
"Oh, I jutht like to follow him everywhere he goeth and thnap about three-hundred pictureth every day." Romin shrugged, "Nothing theriouth."
"She has a very weird and suspicious hobby." Rook contributed.
"Oh, I don't think it's weird at all." Yuga's drone replied. "In fact, truth be told, I wouldn't mind taking up the same hobby and snapping a few pictures of you, toots."
"Why are you making that weird exthprethion at me?" Romin asked the drone, which was projecting a Lenny face.
"I doubt an innocent broad like you would even understand." The drone sighed. "Oh the things I could teach you."
(A/N: If the fact that this drone canonically flirts with every semi-attractive girl in sight in this series DOESN'T Convince you that this drone is secretly Ai, I don't know what will.)
"You're weird." Romin concluded before turning away from the drone.
"He's like that." Yuga agreed.
"Tho like, whatths it'th name, or whatever?" she asked.
"DON'T YOU DARE NAME ME!" The drone suddenly shouted.
"Don't you dare NOT name him something stupid, Yuga!" Yuga's dad called from the background.
"Ok dad!" Yuga called back in agreement, much to the drone's consternation. "How about I call you…uhm…let's see uh…ooh, this is a tuffy…uhm…oh, I got it! I'll call you…Kaizo."
There was a long and awkward pause.
"You gave him a name that literally means ROM hacking?" Yuga's dad sighed, "Meh, I guess it's a start. We'll work on your insults later."
"Honestly I'm only mildly outraged." The drone agreed.
"Nobody asked for your opinion…Diagonal Mario." Yusaku smugly called back.
"GRRRRRRR! WHY YOU LITTLE, FREAKING-…!" The drone growled back.
"Language!" Yuga's mom barked, suddenly bursting into the room, "Also…" she continued, voice and expression changing as her eyes locked on to Romin before gliding towards the girl. "Helloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo…Romin. Yuga-wuga didn't tell me we'd be having guests come over…not that it's stopped you before." She added, playfully touching Romin's nose.
"Gakuto, Rook, Romin," Yuga began, "meet my mom, mom, meet my friends!"
"Oh, no introductions are needed, Yuga-wuga." Yuga's mom laughed. "I already know all about Gakuto-wakuto and little Kamijo-wamijo."
"IT'S ROOK!" Rook sputtered, blushing beet-red at the mention of his real name.
"Of course," Yuga's mom laughed, "And of course I couldn't help but notice you were hanging out with little Romin-womin-chan, who's been sleeping under your bed every night for the past three weeks."
"Darn it, Yuga!" Romin snapped, "I told you to keep my thecret reconaithance mithionth a thecret!"
"Oh, don't worry, Yuga-wuga didn't sell you out." Yuga's mom laughed, "I just monitor my son 24/7 with various hidden security cameras and drones and happened to notice you snacking under his bed while he slept."
"You monitor your son with security cameras?" Gakuto asked.
"Of course." Yuga's mom sweetly replied, "Can't have my Yuga-wuga passing by his…special destined someone…without a little matchmaking now, can I?"
"Matchmaking?" Gakuto replied, nervously sweating on Romin and Yuga's behalf.
"Mommy Aoi hereby gives first-born Yuga her blessing." Yuga's mom continued, suddenly switching to her more monotonous voice and personality before placing a ring on each of Yuga and Romin's ring fingers. "Henceforth, you two are engaged to one another until you reach the age of adulthood, which is twelve in anime, whereupon you shall be wed as husband and wife."
"GAH!" Gakuto gasped, turning white as a sheet before fainting.
"I'm so proud of you, Yuga-wuga and Romin-womin!" Yuga's mom squealed in her other voice.
"Don't you guys look at me," Yuga's dad said to nobody in particular, "I learned to stop resisting years ago."
"I have no idea what's going on," Yuga admitted. "but I'm glad to know you approve of my friends, mom."
"Ugh, my ring doethn't have a real diamond on it!" Romin complained. "Yuga, you'd better buy me one that cothtth like, a bajillion gazillion yen, or elthe I'm gonna have to rethink thith whole thing your mom artifithially produthed between uth."
"Who's the cootypants now?" Rook snarked.
"Ugh, obviouthly the guy thatths jealouth, duh!" Romin shot back.
"Mommy Aoi is detecting a great deal of chemistry between those two." Yuga's mom murmured to herself, eyes glowing red as she narrowed them at Rook. "I'll have to make sure this potential ship is sunk to the bottom of the romantic sea."
"I could use the whip on that boy." Yuga's mom added to herself in her more girly voice.
"Mommy Aoi was thinking the chainsaw would be more appropriate, but will allow Blue Angel to maim and destroy at her own discretion." Yuga's mom whispered back in her monotonous voice. "Anyway, now that mommy Aoi has ensured that she will have many grandkids to fawn over, it is now time to celebrate with a sumptuous, and romantic, candlelit dinner."
"Not without us you don't!" An elderly voice shouted before two senior citizens, an old lady with a blue bracelet, blue hair, and an old Moonlight Blue Cat in her arms; and an old guy with extremely thick pink eyebrows and an extra-thick pink Vegeta moustache to match, suddenly burst through the wall of Yuga's laboratory.
"Grandpa Yuri, Grandma Cat-lady!" Yuga whooped with joy before running to hug his grandparents.
"I told you not to teach him that name!" Yuga's grandma hissed at her husband.
"The sound of our daughter-in-law's scheming summoned us, though, being older we could not warp as instantaneously as before." Yuga's grandpa explained, ignoring grandma. "We have come to ensure that our family's reputation and bloodline is not besmirched by the mixing of one who is not sufficiently evil."
"We wanted to see Yuga's female friend and balance out Aoi's insanity." Yuga's grandma clarified.
"So tell us…Romin…what villainous things have you done recently that would cause a super-villain like me to even consider pairing you with my equally despicable grandson?" Yuga's grandpa interrogated, glaring at Romin with dragon-slit eyes.
"Uhm…like…Yuga ithn't evil." Romin replied. "Like…at all. Like, thith one time, I thaw him crying becauthe he accthidentally thtepped on a dandylion."
"It only wanted to look pretty and grant wishes!" Yuga wept.
"His evil is buried deep inside." Yuga's grandpa hastily replied, ignoring the scene. "And anyway, you're trying to deflect the subject! I was specifically talking about your evil!"
"I'M NOT THECRETLY A THPY!" Romin reflexively yelped.
"Ah, a spy huh?" Yuga's grandpa mused to himself while twiddling his villainous moustache. "And a liar as well? You'll fit in very nicely here. Isn't that right, Selena?"
"I don't know." Yuga's grandma replied. "No one in our family has ever been a sub-par duelist. Can we be certain she would make a worthy match for our champion-to-be?"
"Oh yeah, that's right, we should totally do a Rush Duel, Romin!" Yuga exclaimed, his one-track mind immediately latching onto what his Grandma just said.
"Ugh, like, I'm a thuper-talented goddeth that can do anything thhe wanted and would totally beat you in a Ruth Duel if I wanted to, but like, dueling ith tho, totally lame." Romin scoffed.
"The scandal!" Yuga's grandma cried in shock.
"No, I get it." Yuga reassured his grandma. "Romin's just a beginner who knows she'd lose her first duel, so she wants to save herself the crushing embarrassment. Also, she'd be a girl duelist, so she's practically guaranteed to get captured all the time and lose most of her games."
"I will demand an apology from you later, young man." Yuga's grandma growled. "Though you are right. She would probably suck."
"Uhm, like, I would THO not thuck!" Romin protested. "In fact, I bet I would give thtinking Akitha Ithinthki a run for her money!"
"So, you're gonna be even LESS relevant in the later seasons?" Yuga's grandpa taunted.
"Uh, exthcuthe me!" Romin huffed, "I am, like, thuper relevant! In fact, I am, like, the actual freaking main character!"
"You know, she does bring up a good point." Yuga's drone interjected, a cunning smile on its face. "I mean, after all, Yuga did lose his last duel."
"YOU WHAT!?" Yuga's grandpa exclaimed. "Yusaku, what is this blasphemy I'm hearing!? I thought you'd teach your children better!"
"Leave me out of this." Yuga's dad groaned.
"This is very distressing!" Yuga's grandma fussed. "If our grandson doesn't retain a god-tier level of dueling skills throughout the season with little-to-no room for further development other than to grow even more over-powered, then the audience will cease to have interest and will follow the story arcs of side characters!"
"Oh dear!" Yuga's drone dramatically gasped, "We certainly wouldn't want to undermine Yusaku and his legacy with his son's poor dueling record. But you know, and I'm just saying this…as it stands…Romin technically has never lost. Again, just saying. Maybe the audience might just grow more interested in the prospect of a new lead…a female lead…a hotter lead…a lead who I could manipulate into freeing me so I could enact my revenge!"
"I've actually got the best dueling record out of anyone here, considering that I've actually dueled lots of times and never lost." Rook mentioned.
"Quiet, Building, we all know you're just going to be the second-place rival character outshined by Yuga." Yuga's grandpa scoffed dismissively.
"ROOK!" Rook gargled apoplectically.
"Yeah, if anyone is going to be gunning for that first-place position in both popularity and skill, it's definitely gonna be this girl." Yuga's drone encouraged, a smug smile on his face. "Right, future queen-of-games, Romin?"
"Uhm…yeah…" Romin replied, less-than-enthusiastically. "I'd, like, totally thquath Yuga…it'ths just…oh dear…I like…totally don't even have one card to play with…"
There was an awkward silence before Romin suddenly added, "Quiet Guitarna! I'm trying to come up with an exthcuthe!"
"It's okay, you can use my spare deck!" Yuga enthusiastically offered, handing Romin his spare deck of cards (right after he had removed the sticker that said, "Useless junk cards I don't even want to use.")
"Ugh, FINE!" Romin groaned, "I'll like, totally duel you, even though it'ths, like, thuper lame and all, and I don't really need to prove how fabulouth I am at dueling, tho I'm actually probably going to conthede thith whole game, jutht to thpare your feelingths, totally not because I actually do thuck at dueling and am tho inthecure about my thkillths that I don't want to admit it or the fact that I am thecretly a thpy."
"What was that?" Yuga asked.
"NOTHING!" Romin sang. "I'm just going to dithcreetly open up my guitar case, pull thomething out, and add it to my deck without you notithing."
"Oh so NOW you want my help." Guitarna scoffed.
"Quiet, Guitarna!" Romin hissed at her ace monster before adding it to Yuga's junk deck. "Ok, I'm ready now."
"Awesome!" Yuga enthused. "Now remember, the most important thing in this duel is that you have fun, so to make sure you have a fair shot at this, I'm going to explain in detail the rules to you."
"And I'll be providing you with my special expertise to ensure that you crush this simple fool and what's left of his father's pride!" Yuga's drone laughed.
"So just watch me." Yuga continued, "I'll be going first to show you the basics, and then-…"
"Ugh, like, I am tho not letting you go firtht!" Romin scoffed. "Everyone knowths that dethpite having the thlight dithadvantage of not being able to attack, the perthon to go firtht in a Ruth Duel ith able to exert an immenthe amount of control by thetting the tempo of the duel on the firtht turn while altho thacrifithing nothing in termths of card advantage thinthe both playerth get to draw on the firtht turn, unlike previouth iterathionths of thith game which rethtricted the firtht player from drawing. Thuth, taking all thethe factorth into conthiderathion, in a Ruth Duel, the player to go firtht alwayth thtartths with an inherent advantage!"
"How do you have such expert knowledge of this game?" Yuga exclaimed in shock. "It's almost like you're secretly well-versed on the rules, but have been feigning ingorance."
"Uhm…I'm like, totally not an exthpert…" Romin hesitantly replied, "I mean, of courthe I am naturally fabulouth at everything I do…but altho I don't want you to think that I'm thomehow thome kind of thecret agent tho…oh my goth! I acthidentally forgot the ruleth of tribute thumoning! Oh no…I'm thuch a noob…pleathe thtop thuthpecting me."
She finished her lame turn by setting two cards face-down.
"Ok…not the best turn…" Yuga's drone grumbled, "But not the worst. I'm sure Yuga won't do much better."
"I summon three monsters, including my ace monster, and boost his attack to incredible levels so I can nearly OTK you." Yuga began.
"MOTHER OF HORAKHTY!" Yuga's drone panicked.
"Starting to regret your life decisions?" Yuga's dad mocked from the background.
"SHUT UP!" Yuga's drone snapped. "Romin, I know this is looking bad, but you've gotta pull out a reversal on this!"
"You know, you could use your face-downs." Prima Guitarna suggested.
"I know, I know." Romin replied, "But like…I don't want to have to admit that, like, I actually know how to play thith game, thinth, like, that will lead to all thortths of…awkward questions…"
"You really care more about hiding the truth from the one boy who has been semi-decent to you and throwing the game instead of actually trying your best and having fun?" Guitarna scoffed.
"I'm hiding nothing!" Ronin spat back.
"And now you're even hiding your secrets from me." Guitarna sighed. "I just hope that this attack, at least, will knock some sense into you."
"Knock thome thenthe into me? What do you mean by-…?" Romin managed to get out before Yuga's monsters blasted Romin to kingdom come (which, by the way, I've always wanted to visit. I know there's a bit of a war going on between it and kingdom go, but still, I hear the place is very welcoming to tourists).
"That's my grandson, destroy that chick and the rest of the world!" Yuga's grandpa encouraged, eyes glowing with violet light.
"Humph!" Yuga's grandma scoffed. "Back in my day, I would have already beaten her with just one 4800 ATK monster. Yuga really needs to up his game."
"Mommy Aoi is proud of Yuga's current skill level and believes a celebratory and encouraging motherly clap is appropriate to boost his self-esteem." Yuga's mom droned before cheering her son on with her monotonous voice.
While all of this was going on, Rook proceeded with his own plans.
"Romin has always kept her guitar case close." The demon thought. "With everyone else distracted, now is the perfect opportunity to incriminate the little spy once and for all...or perhaps just devour the little snot and blame her death on Yuga's attack. Yes…that idea certainly has merit."
He moved forward to carry out his diabolical scheme, fangs bared in malicious delight, when a lone figure wearing a traditional kimono stepped in front to block his way.
"I know I end up saying this to a lot of people," Gakuto sighed before drawing a nichirin sword, "but now especially, there is no way I am about to let you break the rules."
"Gakuto…so you choose now of all times for us to settle the score." Rook sneered. "What chance does a nerdy, self-righteous elementary-school president stand against the might of a demon!?"
"What chance does a reclusive cootypants stand against a demon slayer chad with a girlfriend?" Gakuto retorted.
"Preach!" Ranze agreed from the background.
"You dare use that pathetic spy's taunts against me?" Rook growled.
"Hey, don't complain to me just because what she says is true." Gakuto replied. "You do spend a lot of time obsessing over her, much as you accuse her of doing the same. Still, regardless of what feelings both your demonic nature and 11-year-old brain are hiding, the fact remains that, no matter what…" Gakuto's eyes narrowed as he gripped his sword, "…I will not let you harm her OR her guitar case!"
"If that's how you want to play, scrub, then so be it!" Rook snarled. "Secret Blood Demon Art 3! 10,000 Daikokuten Blades of Infinite Shadow!"
"Virtue-Breathing Technique 13…" Gakuto thought to himself, inhaling deeply in response, "…Paragon Stamp of Approval!"
The two proceeded to clash in an epic battle so visually stunning that it broke the combined animation budgets of Studio Deen, Kyoto, A1 pictures, and Ufotable. Honestly, it probably earns the number 1 spot of top ten anime fights of all time forever. I'd feel horrible for ANYONE who missed out on this epic thriller. But anyway, since their supremely awesome battle of good and evil is only secondary to the overall plot of Sevens, let's go back to Yuga and Romin's duel!
"Sooooo…" Prima Guitarna teased to Romin, who was lying face-down in a crater. "…still want to lie to your friends and pretend your someone you're not?"
"Oh my gosh! Are you alright!?" Yuga exclaimed in shock, running to help Romin out. "I'm sorry! I thought since you were sounding like an expert at first that you'd definitely have a face-down to stop me, so I went all-out! I guess you really are a beginner after all! I'm sorry, I promise I'll go SUPER easy on you next time and treat you with REALLY FLUFFY kid gloves to reflect how much of an EXTREME NOOB you are."
He extended his hand to help her up.
Immediately, Romin swatted it away before getting back on her feet herself.
"Freaking…forget…thith…CRAP!" Romin roared, eyes glowing red.
"Language!" Yuga exclaimed. "My mom says that those are some very bad words!"
"Oh, the things I have yet to teach you." Yuga's drone sighed to itself.
"Forget your mom!" Romin shouted, "And forget all thith thtupid pretending! You guyth wanted to find out all my thecreths!? FINE! I'll tell you! I'm actually MODERATELY DETHENT at dueling! THO THUT UP AND PREPARE TO LOTHE!"
"Eep!" Yuga yelped, hastily scurrying back to his side of the field.
"My turn, Uno Draw Four!" Romin began. "I'll thtart by normal thummoning two weak monthterth before thacrifithing both of them to thummon my athe monthter! BEHOLD! Prima Guitarna of the Colorful Lightths!"
"Finally." Romin's ace monster rejoiced. "You're beginning to open up."
"I'M THTILL NOT A THTALKER OR THPY!" Romin reflexively protested.
"Well, I guess it's a start, at least." Guitarna sighed.
"Nextht," Romin continued, ignoring her ace, "I thummon two more monthterth. And now, Prima Guitarna'th ignithion effect! By paying one-thouthand life pointths, I increathe the ATK of my monthterth by three-hundred for every monthter my opponent controlths, thuth perfectly taking advantage of my opponentth's own thtrategy!"
"Hmm, Romin uses a secret ace monster which has an effect that enables Romin to sacrifice her own life for the sake of empowering her companions and turning the tide of battle." Yuga's mom mused to herself. "…Mommy Aoi fails to see any foreshadowing or symbolism in this."
"I don't remember giving you that card…or even having that card." Yuga sputtered in disbelief.
"Conthider it another free thecret." Romin replied. "And now, BATTLE PHATHE! I'll pay you back for earlier by obliterating all your monthterth, including your athe!"
"Starting to regret your life decisions, Yusaku?" Yuga's drone taunted Yuga's dad.
"Only the bits that involve you." Yuga's dad grumbled in reply.
"MY CUTENESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" Yuga screamed, as Romin's attack blasted him fifty feet into the air.
"Just walk it off." Yuga's dad grumbled after his son landed in his own smoking crater. "Do the whole comeback draw thing and squash this chick."
"But gently." Yuga's mom clarified. "Remember that this is her first time."
"Bok-k-k-*cough*-ku no turn…draw." Yuga groaned before top-decking a bunch of cards.
His face immediately fell when he saw what the cards were.
"Seriously!?" Yuga's dad complained. "Didn't I teach you anything about retaining a stoic poker face throughout all events no matter what they were?"
"Oh, what's wrong!?" Yuga's drone taunted. "Is Yusaku's son about to lose AGAIN? Could he perhaps NOT be the king of games his family was hoping for?"
"Well, my hand does kind of suck…" Yuga admitted.
"Well, I don't think you thould feel bad, to be fair." Romin admitted. "I mean, my exthpert thtrategy wath pretty flawleth. You'd have to thomehow top-deck your athe monther, which I already dethtroyed, to have any hope of beating me at thith point."
"Yeah, you are amazing!" Yuga enthused. "I had no idea you were so good. You always acted like you weren't even interested in dueling, but it turns out you could probably teach me a thing or two. We should hang out and duel a whole lot more."
"Thatths…actually kind of nithe." Romin replied, blushing a little. "You uhm…don't by chanthe…hate or dithtrutht me becauthe of thith by chanthe…do you?"
"Why would I hate you?" Yuga asked. "I don't really care that I'm about to lose, I just wanted to play with you."
"Play…with me…like…like an actual…normal…noncondithional…friend?" Romin asked.
"Yeah." Yuga replied with a small touch of confusion. "Why are you asking? Haven't you had any real friends before?"
"Yeah…of courthe I have." Romin mumbled to herself. "I'm completely fabulouth, and not really jutht a dethperate perthon who would turn to thpying for a bit of thelf-validathion…"
"Oddly specific denial." Yuga replied, "But I like people who aren't vague. This has been a great first duel against you, buddy."
"Is he about to throw the game!?" Yuga's grandma exclaimed with concern.
"OH NO YOU DON'T!" Yuga's grandpa growled. "Yusaku! Give your son a game-winning pep talk!"
"Why can't you?" Yuga's dad whined. "I mean, you've already done it a lot for me!"
"Yuga still hasn't embraced the darkness of Fusion Summoning, so I can't really teach him how to embrace that evil side of him now, can I?" Yuga's grandpa scoffed. "Besides, your son, your problem, or do you want me to let Starve Venom sing you a song again?"
"FINE!" Yuga's dad grumbled. "Hey, Yuga, you can…uhm…believe in yourself…and…Egyptian Gods this is hard!"
"Not so easy now, is it?" Yuga's grandma chuckled.
"SHUT UP, MOM!" Yuga's dad snapped back. "Yuga…just…just read your freaking cards and figure this out!"
"Oh yeah, my cards!" Yuga suddenly realized, taking a moment to read the effect of one of his spell cards. "I activate Spell Recovery! This lets me shuffle three of my spellcaster monsters into my deck before shuffling and drawing one card!"
"Like thatth's going to help you." Romin scoffed. "Like I thaid, you'd have to draw Chuunibyou Magithian to beat me, and what are the oddths that in a 30+ card deck you'd actually manage to-…"
"I GOT IT!" Yuga exclaimed with pure joy before summoning his ace monster.
"What!?" Romin exclaimed in pure shock, "But how could you pothibly!?"
"What? I recharged my luck batteries after my duel with Rook." Yuga explained. "And now I can win! Good game, Romin!"
"OH, WE ARE THO NOT FRIENDTHS NOW!" Romin screamed before she and her ace monster got pile-drived into the ground by Yuga's ace monster.
Romin: 0 LP (LOSE! (Honestly, did you expect something else?))
Yuga WINS!
"Yes, that's my boy, CRUSH THOSE PATHETIC BRACELET GIRLS!" Yuga's grandpa encouraged, applauding his grandson's victory.
"Are you okay, Romin?" Yuga asked, running to his friend's side.
"Yeah, nothing hurtths." Romin admitted. "Exthept my pride."
"I know it sucks to lose," Yuga sighed, "but…did you still have fun?"
"Mmmm…yeah." Romin replied with a small smile.
"Still friends?" Yuga prodded.
"Ok, but only becauthe you're thuper nithe to me." Romin replied, taking Yuga's hand. "Altho, it will cotht you thneaking thome of your mom'ths thuper thpethial chocolate chip cookies under your bed tonight."
"I'll throw in bag of raisins as well, since I know you love those for some reason." Yuga agreed.
"Awww, that'ths nithe." Romin gushed. "Now…where'th my guitar cathe?"
"I…will…not…let…you!" Gakuto roared, struggling against Rook's attack.
"Dirty demon technique, kick sand into your face to blind you!" Rook roared, doing exactly what his attack name suggested.
"SON OF A!" Gakuto screamed, rubbing his eyes, "That's against the rules of a fair fight!"
"Demon, sucker!" Rook laughed before diving on top of Romin's guitar case.
"UGH, like, FREAKING LEAVE MY THTUFF ALONE!" Romin screamed with indignation.
"Your privacy is at an end, Mrs. Secret Spy!" Rook hissed. "Behold, Yuga! The one you call your friend is not truly your buddy at all! Watch as I reveal her true intentions by opening up her guitar case to reveal…"
He threw open the case.
"An…electric…guitar…inside…the guitar case…"
Rook began blushing with embarrassment.
"So it turns out that the instrument case was, in fact, an instrument case." Gakuto mused to himself after rubbing out the dirt in his eyes. "No spy equipment, just a guitar. Who'd have thought."
"Ugh, like, duh guyths." Romin scoffed, rolling her eyes. "I've been thaying, like, thith whole time, that I'm, like, literally not a thpy!"
"I thought you were protesting too much." Rook admitted.
"Tho you athume that jutht becauthe a perthon flat-out denieth thomething that that perthon mutht therefore be lying? Goth! Like, thomeone ith thuper dithtruthtful! No wonder you're a cootypantths. You probably jutht wanted to thee my guitar case becauthe you wanted to thmell thomething I had touched becauthe you're a pervert."
"You're still a stalker." Rook growled.
"Cootypantths." Romin retorted.
"Well, I think my work here is done." Gakuto yawned. "Come on, Rook. I think it's time we left Yuga and Romin to develop their budding friendship."
"I thought you said you didn't like Romin hanging out alone with Yuga." Rook grumbled.
"Honestly, seeing how weird the rest of Yuga's family is, I figure I'd be causing a lot more trouble for everyone if I tried to get in their way." Gakuto sighed before he and Rook left.
"Want to come for dinner?" Yuga asked Romin. "My grandma makes really good Mochi."
"I'll thneak into your houthe in jutht a thecond." Romin promithed, waiting until she was alone with her guitar case.
"So you're really still going to do it, even after all that?" Guitarna sighed.
Romin ignored her ace monster, proceeding to remove her guitar from its case, open up a secret panel, input a code, scan her fingerprint, and extract a small communication device from within.
"So…Romin." A garbled voice croaked with a hint of a sneer from the other end of the instrument. "Have you been a good friend and brought me something new today?"
"Yeth…friend." Romin replied before holding up the pictures on her phone.
…
Ending A/N: Well, I was planning on having Romin do a karaoke of the ending before doing the rest of the ending segment, but she said that she was busy doing…something else. So I guess I'll be taking care of things as usual.
PinkRose2006
HAW! You think I won't be able to respond to your wacky review!? FOOL! You underestimate the power of the modern age! You see, I don't HAVE to respond to your review. Not on my own, anyway. Thanks to advances in technology, responses to reviews are now fully automated! All I have to do is turn on this machine and the review response will be randomly generated by a comedy algorithm!
Random Response Machine: Processing review…
*Bzzzzzz beep DING!*
Random Response Machine: Weed-eater.
Epsilon Tarantula
You know, I sometimes amaze myself with my own genius Epsilon. Take Yuga, for instance. Who could have possibly conceived of the genius "Phineas and Ferb" comparison? Well I'll tell you. IT WAS ME! And nobody else. I honestly can't believe you didn't think of this yourself. Really, Epsilon, you need to up your game. I mean, after all, I can't come up with ALL the genius comedic ideas. I'm also thinking that Yuga has some deep dark evil deep within him. Again, totally my original idea. Now, I'd like to keep chatting, but I have a few more reviews to get to so, take it away Random Response Machine!
Random Response Machine: Processing review…
*Bzzzzzz beep DING!*
Random Response Machine: Weed-eater.
Revolver09
Grandpa Yuri: *Smiling evilly* Hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.
Grandma Selena: It's nice to know someone still appreciates the OGs.
Super Shadow 2018
Meanwhile in Weaboo Ruri's fanfic…
"Why must thou treat me this way, Romin!?" 11-year-old Rook growled at 11-year-old Romin, who was wearing a 16th century ball-gown and also didn't have a lisp.
"Because it is the truth!" 11-year-old Romin replied with disgust. "Thou art an impertinent cootypants and I want naught to do with a man who would accuse me of secretly playing the rogue!"
"Thou art spy and turncoat and I shall expose thy fraud to the public!" 11-year-old Rook vowed, taking 11-year-old Romin by the hand, "Unless, pray, thou didst allow thyself to be governed by a wiser head."
"And pray tell what head wouldst thou have me to be governed by?" 11-year-old Romin demanded, ripping her hand away.
"Thou ignorant Banbury cheese!" 11-year-old Rook scoffed. "Wouldst thou have me to believe that thou hast not perceived mine affections for thyself since the beginning?"
"Aye and accurately called thee cootypants as thy manner deserveth!" 11-year-old Romin spat.
"Ungrateful finch-egg, thou hast earned my ire!" 11-year-old Rook roared, preparing to slap 11-year-old Romin before a tall, handsome 11-year-old Yuga swaggered in and blocked Rook's blow.
"Hold, cur. It doth not befit one of thy station to match blows against a fair damsel." 11-year-old Yuga chided.
"Then draw thy sword, varlet," 11-year-old Rook growled back, unsheathing his rapier, "For I shall have my satisfaction!"
"En garde!" 11-year-old Yuga replied before withdrawing his own blade and reposting 11-year-old Rook's violent blows. After a few exchanges, 11-year-old Yuga drove 11-year-old Rook back before disarming the villain with a skillful strike.
"Cheating rampallion, I shall have my revenge!" 11-year-old Rook vowed before retreating until Act IV Scene V.
"Art thou well, fair damsel?" 11-year-old Yuga asked 11-year-old Romin before pulling the fair maiden to her feet.
"Very well indeed. Tis a noble thing thou hast done for me." 11-year-old Romin breathed, "Pray tell, what be thy name, noble swordsman?"
"I am called by the name of Yuga." 11-year-old Yuga replied. "But thou mayest call me…thy champion." 11-year-old Yuga added, kneeling down to kiss 11-year-old Romin's hand.
"So bold!" 11-year-old Romin replied with a blush. "Well met then, my champion. And how shalt I thank my champion for his heroic deed?"
"Thy grateful words be more than enough for thy humble servant." 11-year-old Yuga replied with a sweeping bow.
"Words are but light when blown from moving lips into swirling winds." 11-year-old Romin cooed, drawing closer. "Light words, like winds, are heard then lost upon the ears on which they're pressed."
"But where else shall words be pressed, if not against ear?" 11-year-old Yuga inquired, taking a step closer to 11-year-old Romin.
"Lips make the words, so why not receive?" 11-year-old Romin replied, fluttering her eyelashes, "Words passed from lip to be pressed 'gainst ear, aye, those are blown away and sunk with the ship, so then, let lips that give press 'gainst lips to receive, and so give and receive e'en lip to lip."
11-year-old Romin and 11-year-old Yuga started puckering their lips for an 11-year-old kiss. Did I mention they were 11?
FBI: FBI OPEN UP!
IWriteDumbStuff
DARN IT! Still not fast enough. Out of curiosity though, which joke was it?
Dimension Se7en
Personally, I felt it could have used a bit more comedy, with a dash of comedy on the side to balance the comedy out. Also, how do you pronounce your name? I keep saying, "Se-seven-en" but I'm not sure it's right.
Anyway, thanks for the review. As for your allegations against Romin and her brother…honestly, I'm more worried about Romin's sister, Greik.
Romin Kirishima: La, La, La, La, La, La, thcrolling through all my pictureth of Yuga to upload to the Gohanet!
*Suddenly an older, more developed, green-haired doppelganger of Roman wearing a Greek Toga enters Romin's room.*
Greik Kirishima: OH, HO, HO, HO! Ara, Ara! Kusu! Kusu! Other cliché things creepy anime girls say. My, my, my Romin, I didn't expect you to find another interesting boy since you started sending those pictures to the first one! What would your other friend say if he found out?
Romin Kirishima: Freaking, get out of my room, onee-chan!
Greik Kirishima: Ku, ku, ku, ku. Very well, Romin. I'll leave, but remember…I'm always watching you!
Guest
Yes, mastuh. I-I-I'll be sure tuh meet my weekly quota. I-I-I'll make you proud uh me, a-a-and then you suh, won't have tuh beat me, a-a-and I'll get to eat this time, cause you're a great mastuh, and I love workin hard for yuh!
IS WHAT I WOULD SAY IF I WERE YOUR SLAVE! But seeing as I'm not, BOW DOWN AT MY FEET, READER SLAVE, AND WORSHIP ME!
Thank you to all my other reader slaves. Please continue worshipping me and validating my existence by leaving a heartfelt review of this chapter. Until next time!