It had been eleven days, 2 hours and 22 minutes. It had nearly been ten days, 21 hours and 47 minutes but Caroline had managed to avoid talking to Kate that morning while they passed each other in the corridor by faking complete absorption in a report. Caroline hadn't been at all interested in sewerage lines and tree roots, but Kate had been wearing her olive green shirt and it had nearly been Caroline's undoing. The shirt pulled a little tightly over Kate's breasts and when Caroline had spotted it, the undulations of movement combined with the raking light from the large windows had been mesmerising. She didn't normally focus on women's breasts, and certainly not at work, but this beguiling sight had nearly stopped her in the middle of the corridor. Mouth suddenly dry, Caroline had hastily buried her nose in the report, flicking pages like her life depended on it as she sailed passed Kate, ignoring the quietly spoken, "Hi Dr. Elliot."

That had been in the morning. At lunch time Beverley unexpectedly scheduled an appointment for Kate in a gap in Caroline's afternoon, apparently so they could discuss something about the choir. It took every bit of self-control for her to not let her assistant see her react to the addition to her schedule and she spent the next hour and a half reading and re-reading the same spreadsheet until the numbers on it blurred into a stream of digits straight out of the Matrix. Her inability to concentrate was unsettling, but what was sharply in focus was her own confusion about her sense of self, and Kate seemed to add a combustible element to the chaos. Caroline had no solution and that disturbed her more than she could admit.

Kate knocked and waited for permission to enter. Not everyone did. Kate's innate politeness was something that never failed to charm Caroline. She smiled for the first time since before lunch.

"Come in!" Caroline sat up in her chair and took her glasses off, hands flat on the desk, readying herself.

Kate entered the room and quietly shut the door behind her before sitting in one of the chairs Caroline gestured to.

"Kate. How may I help?"

"Hi Caroline. I was wondering if you'd had a chance to go over the proposed trip for the choir? I thought I'd pre-empt any questions you might have to—"

"I've looked over your proposal. It all seems fairly clear to me." Caroline looked down at the report on her desk, distractedly folding the edges of the top pages. "And you were thinking of using some of the choir travel budget for this?"

Kate nodded. "I think we've enough remaining to cover it, but I might need a small top up for contingencies." Her confidence while discussing the choir was apparent, and directly contrasted with how she felt regarding the topic she'd planned next.

Caroline observed the choir leader while considering the extra funding request; her neat appearance, that shirt, back straight and arms tidily in her lap, knees together with her feet crossed at her ankles and tucked under her chair. Caroline calculated a quick cost/benefit analysis in her head as she took in Kate's body language. "I think we can manage that. Send me an updated budget with that description and I'll put it through," she said, trying to put her at ease. She leaned back in her chair, business completed, a little more at ease herself now that the conversation hadn't deviated onto more difficult topics. She'd even managed to get through it without putting her foot in her mouth and these days, with this woman, that was a plus.

Kate nodded again. "Thank you." She sat there, wondering how to approach the real purpose of her visit, her carefully rehearsed words scrambling in her mind the instant she made eye contact with those blue eyes from her dreams. Tension unintentionally radiated from her as she shifted in her chair.

"Is there anything else?" Caroline leant forward, one arm sliding across her stomach until her hand settled protectively on her belt buckle, bracing herself for what might come next.

Kate cleared her throat. "Well, there is something..." She lurched forward, "I hope you don't mind, but I noticed that you don't seem comfortable in my—"

Caroline's eyebrows fled under her fringe. Oh shit, Caroline instantly thought, wondering how she was going to get away denying the obvious.

Kate blundered on, her voice fading as she went, betraying her own discomfort, "—presence and I was thinking that it might be good to perhaps have a coffee or lunch or something." She reached forward with one hand, palm up, an open gesture of support. "I just thought it would be good to clear the air a bit, and you might like someone to sound off to about John."

Caroline closed her eyes, debating with herself the merits of the suggestion, desperately stomping on her rising panic and swallowing her discomfort before it could spring from her lips. She sighed and her shoulders slumped. The thought of unburdening herself with anyone was her idea of hell, but a kernel of self-awareness clung to the idea of it, knowing she probably needed to discuss it with someone, and someone less judgemental than her mother.

Caroline opened her eyes, hand shaking a little on the desk, and said, "Yes." She hadn't realised she'd been holding her breath but the admission was enough. She smiled, "That would be lovely."

Kate's shoulders relaxed and settled back in her seat. "I'd be happy to listen, really. I'd like to help." The excitement of getting closer to Caroline bubbled through her system and she rushed the last of it, blurting, "I needed someone to unload on when my husband and I split up, so—" she smiled broadly, "—so I'd like to pay it forward, to be there for you in the same way."

Caroline tilted her head, the generous offer all she could think about. "Thank you, Kate. I do appreciate it."

"Shall we say tomorrow, about 5 at the Valley Gardens rotunda?" Kate suggested, happy for the opportunity to get out the words she'd rehearsed. With the meeting arranged, she left Caroline's office feeling lighter than she had in days. It wasn't a date, not yet, but Kate felt a surge of joy, the expectation of it offering so many possibilities.

The second Kate left her office, Caroline's nerves came back with a vengeance. What the Hell had she just done?!

Kate parked her car at 4.45pm, turned off the engine and listened to the metal tick as it cooled, relieved Caroline hadn't cancelled and pleased with herself for finding the courage to reach out to her. She had spent a long couple of days hoping Caroline would get in touch with her after the dentist episode. She'd been so disappointed but guessed the Head Teacher was more embarrassed about it than she imagined. A smirk crept up her face when she remembered Caroline tanked on meds; the sweary, handsy woman was someone she missed, just a bit. It gave her a tantalising glimpse of who Caroline might be, behind closed doors.

Kate looked out at the bright day, the warmth tempered by a cool breeze. She wasn't sure how the afternoon was going to go. Caroline obviously needed to talk about John, but there was another story there too. Now she knew to look, she'd started noticing Caroline watching her when she thought Kate wasn't looking. There was an intensity to it, a heat that indicated sexual desire. Kate was sure of it.

Of course, knowing that didn't make it any easier. In the real world, Caroline was still her boss and had made no conscious indication she was anything other than a straight, separated, single mother. She wasn't even sure if Caroline was aware that Kate was a lesbian. God, it was so tangled! It was completely doing her head in. It had started to consume her, thoughts circling as she played with the possibilities in her head. She'd even taken up jogging again early every morning to try to get it under control; a couple of afternoons a week was no longer enough to contain the stress of it.

Kate sighed. She stretched her neck and shoulders, trying to release some knots of tension before getting out of the car. Time to listen and learn, even if it was just about the ins and outs of Caroline's defunct marriage.

Kate wasn't surprised Caroline was waiting for her when she arrived as her boss was known for her punctuality. If Caroline arrived on time she felt she was late, and judging by the nearly empty coffee cup in front of the blonde, she'd obviously been there for a while. Kate didn't know that Caroline was sitting there, reciting the periodic table to herself as a means of calming her nerves. She looked up and gave Kate a crooked smile, the one that belied her nerves.

They greeted each other awkwardly, like blind dates who'd seen photos but had no idea how to start getting to know one another. Kate sat and a fresh round of coffees was ordered, setting them up for at least something to discuss.

"Hope you weren't waiting too long," Kate began, knowing full well she was early too so she needn't apologise.

"No. No. Sorry, it's just a habit I can't seem to break," Caroline stumbled to explain. "My mum ingrained it into me."

"I'm sorry, what did she ingrain?"

"Always being early. Mum used to say that being early gave a double advantage. First, you get to hear all the gossip and second, no one can gossip about you. I always found it helpful at staff meetings when I was teaching." She smiled ruefully. "Now I just know the staff is talking about me regardless of when I arrive."

"Your mum sounds like a character," Kate said as she took a sip of her quickly cooling coffee.

"You have no idea," Caroline said, hoping to change the subject. If she were to relax, the last thing she needed was to think about her judgmental mother.

Despite the ice being broken, Kate saw that Caroline was still nervous. She was realising that while Caroline hid her nerves well, they were there if she looked closely; the subtle tremour of a hand, the swallowing once too often. These signs disappeared once Caroline settled in.

As the subject turned to John, they found their rhythm again, and the companionship that had been evident from their first coffee. The data dump of his shitty behaviour was not very different from what Kate had expected. She nodded and hmmmm'd in the right places, and Caroline gradually let it out. The usual culprits of his lack of thought and care, his selfishness and his drinking were revealed, as were some of the workings of their relationship. There were some surprises though; Caroline wasn't as bitter about John's new lover as was common, and John's ability as a parent and how well he played with Lawrence was unexpected. The most astonishing revelation, however, was Caroline's admission of some vicious exchanges prior to John's expulsion from the family home.

"I will admit that I lost it. I was furious!" Caroline's voice rose at this point, startling Kate. "He stood there, looking guilty as sin, and then had the temerity to blame me! I wasn't the one who'd lied and screwed around for five months. Five months!" Caroline shakily drew breath, trying to calm herself before continuing. "So I lost it. I threw things—" she looked up at Kate sheepishly, "—and I've never done that before." Caroline looked down at the dregs in her coffee cup. "God I need a drink. D'you want one? I'm having a gin and tonic." She flung a hand into the air, desperately hunting for a waitress before Kate could respond.

Kate was stunned. It took her a few moments to catch up. She blinked a couple of times before answering. "Sure. I'll join you with a G&T if you like."

The waitress came and then the drinks. They were well into their gin and tonics before Caroline ran out of steam. She sat there, shoulders slumped, looking a little defeated for a moment before sitting up straight and slugging down the last of her drink. She looked out at the gardens, the late spring blooms painting the landscape with colour.

"It's beautiful. We should walk next time." Caroline smiled wistfully. She turned to Kate, "Will there be a next time?"

"Of course. If you'd like." Kate returned the smile. "It took me months to get my divorce out of my system so I could move on and if I'm honest, I had trouble sitting still in the beginning. I had nervous energy to burn." Her gaze followed a bird flying low across the grass, a little distracted. "Would you like to meet on Thursday afternoon?"

Caroline's piercing eyes interrogated Kate, trying to discern if Kate understood the real source of the nervous energy she'd been trying to hide. Kate felt seen, like Caroline was aware of her for the first time that afternoon. It was intense and extraordinary, and terrifying and exhilarating, all at the same time. She felt alive in a way she hadn't felt in ages. And then Caroline turned away, her blazing blue eyes scanning the clouds, her mind unfocused. Kate felt the sun had burned a path through her soul, and now it had set. How on earth was she going to keep this up? She had no idea, but not meeting Caroline was simply unthinkable.

Caroline slowly turned back to Kate, confirming, "So Thursday, then. Here at 5?"

Kate's nervous excitement returned in that instant. The date was organised. Plenty of time to find a new outfit before then. But it wasn't truly a date. Not yet anyway.