It had been the day from hell. Beverley had stayed home with a cold and getting the other staff to spread the workload around was tricky. By the time Caroline closed her green front door, she was done in. She checked on the boys briefly before heading upstairs to change.
Lying on the bed, forearm covering her eyes, she let her mind go slack for the first time that day. She sighed with relief, contemplating the rarity of having five minutes to herself, allowing her body to sink into the bed. Her mobile phone pinged. Grumbling, she reached for it on her bedside table. Freshly energised when she saw it was from Kate, a smile blossomed on her face.
Hope you're having a good evening. I saw that Les Miserables is opening at the Odeon tomorrow night. Wondering if you'd be interested in seeing it sometime this weekend.
Caroline nervously sucked in a deep breath before letting it out slowly. She read the text again, scrutinising it for any subtext. It seemed to be just a music teacher wanting to go see a new musical with a friend. The thought of sitting next to Kate, however — in the dark, for a couple of hours — seemed like a tantalising proposition.
I love that musical but can you really picture Anne Hathaway as Fantine? Don't get me wrong, she was perfect in The Devil Wears Prada but is she up to something this heavy?
Kate's reply came quickly. Almost too quickly.
I read she is surprisingly good and there's supposedly an Oscar buzz about her performance. Make you a deal. If she's bad we can leave early and go for a drink somewhere.
Caroline immediately imagined an upscale establishment, watching Kate in the flattering light, eyes following the path of smooth liquid sliding down Kate's exquisite throat as she sips her cocktail. Caroline gripped the bedspread tightly for a moment before forcing her mind back on track.
How can I say no to an offer like that? I'm free on Saturday. What time?
Kate realised she was nervous waiting for Caroline's answer to come through. She smiled as she typed her response.
How about the three o'clock showing? That way, if it's bad it will be five o'clock somewhere so we can drink without guilt. We could meet there, or I could pick you up.
Caroline considered the offer. It would be convenient to not have to fight for parking in the centre of town, but if she had her car she could bolt if it became uncomfortable. Needing a readily available exit plan, she suggested they meet there. They said their goodbyes and Caroline spent ten very pleasant minutes thinking about Kate in that green shirt before gathering her wits and heading downstairs to cook dinner.
"How was choir practice?" Caroline asked her eldest as the four of them ate dinner at the kitchen table.
"Good. We started working on a new song. I'm going to have one of the solos in it," William responded with a proud smile.
"Well done! What's the song?" More than once Caroline had wanted to pop in on the practice just to watch Kate in action, but she refrained because she had no valid reason and she didn't want to appear too obvious. A whisper of a smile ghosted across her face and she pushed the food around her plate, thinking of Saturday afternoon.
"Stand By Me. It's the song I picked for winning the trivia competition," William said proudly.
"You're such a poof. Of all the songs you could pick you choose that one," Lawrence started in on his brother, cackling as he spoke.
To Caroline's relief, William ignored Lawrence's taunting, so she continued their conversation. "So the competition is over then?" the proud mum asked between bites.
"We started a new one," he explained. "Today's question was about a song in 1975 which alluded to murder and nihilism. I thought it might be Pink Floyd, but it was Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody."
Celia turned to her daughter supportively, recalling, "Good lord, I remember you playing that Pink Floyd album endlessly until it drove me up the wall." William and Caroline looked at each other across the table, Caroline trying to hide a grin. Celia frowned at them, not understanding the joke, continued on. "Mind you, I preferred it to that song you played about the schoolgirl with a crush on a teacher. That one was very... wrong."
"Oh. Don't Stand So Close To Me." Caroline nodded, thinking about her own attraction to a teacher, letting her attention wander to Kate again.
Unhappy at not getting a rise out of his brother, Lawrence took another shot. "Perhaps McKenzie took pity on a shirt lifter like you because she's a lezzo."
"Says who?" William chipped.
Caroline froze, her blood running cold.
"Angus said Seb told him he saw her a couple of months ago," said Lawrence with glee.
"I bet it's not true."
"It is! She always wears pants anyway. Total dyke." Lawrence quickly grabbed an untouched roll from William's plate, gleefully stuffing it into his mouth.
"Special needs like you wouldn't know that it's not about wearing pants anyway." William turned to his mum, asking, "May I leave the table? I still have homework."
"Beano boy," Lawrence chanted at his brother, chuffed he'd managed to land the last insult in their fight.
At Caroline's nod, William got up, taking his plate to the dishwasher. His mum sat mute, oblivious to Celia's chatter.
"—noticed you're not wearing your ring. I expect the suitors will be lining up at your door now. Bet John will come sniffing around asking to come back the minute you start dating another man." Celia paused, waiting for Caroline to respond. After a moment or two with no movement from her daughter, Celia asked a little sharply, "Caroline?"
Caroline blinked, trying to bring herself back into the present.
"Oh. My ring. Yes. I took it off a few days ago." She stared blankly at her plate, her mind full of a thousand things and none of them involved food.
"Well, good for you. Did anyone notice?" She didn't know why Caroline wasn't talking about dating yet as there had already been a respectable period of separation.
"Beverley." Her mind was stuck with 'Kate's a lesbian' playing on constant rotation, hogging her mental bandwidth.
"Oh. I didn't know anyone knew," Celia replied again, frowning at Lawrence jamming an entire roll into his mouth. "Lawrence! You'll choke. How old are you? Eat like a proper young man."
Caroline sat back in her chair, pulling down the shutters on her emotions, defaulting to her teenage defence to get through the next few minutes with her mum. She carefully put her fork and knife together on the plate and pushed it a little away from her, an unconscious signal that she was well and truly done...with so many things.
"A few people at work know. I decided I'm done hiding...the separation. A couple of weeks ago, in fact."
"Oh. Well done. Is it time to look for someone new then?" Celia was ever hopeful her smart daughter could pick a better man this time, one with better prospects than John's fading stars.
"I'm not sure...we'll see." Caroline managed a smile of sorts.
Caroline sought solace in her kitchen, clearing the dinner plates and stacking them in the dishwasher. By the time she had the kitchen sorted, Celia was tucked up at the computer while Lawrence waged a video game battle to beat all battles. She watched them for a minute, lost in thought.
"Goodnight Lawrence. Don't stay up too late." She walked over and kissed him on the cheek, a grunt his only response, and then she gave her mum a quick peck. "See you tomorrow."
"Goodnight love." Celia watched as Caroline turned to go, wondering why her daughter seemed so stiff, like she was holding herself together. She thought Caroline'd be pleased with the idea of moving on. She sighed. There was no pleasing some people.
In the safety of her bedroom, Caroline sat on the edge of her bed, running her fingers over the rough linen bedspread. The texture was comforting. Familiar. She'd never really considered whether Kate was a lesbian or bisexual. She knew Kate was divorced and she'd assumed she was straight. Despite having the odd flare of desire for Kate, she'd never even considered her as a potential partner. Perhaps Lawrence was wrong. But what if that explained Kate's reaction to her touch at the Rotunda?
Caroline couldn't sit still any longer. She went through the motions of getting ready for bed, regularly breaking from them to pace around her room. The agitation was making her heart race, the adrenalin bringing on nausea. Or was it butterflies? It had been so long since she'd experienced it she couldn't quite put a name to it. She shook her fingers in an effort to expel this odd sensation as she stood, feeling lost in the middle of her bedroom. Kate. Christ! Caroline groaned and marched to the bathroom sink, relieved the cool ceramic basin could give her a sense of solidity.
Standing in front of the mirror, Caroline really examined herself. It had been years since she'd thought about what others might see: what a partner might see. She tugged at her pyjama top, revealing the pale skin visible above her breasts. She lifted a hand to caress the terrain of her shoulder and up around her neck, imagining it was Kate's hand. Her eyes closed and her mouth opened slightly as her breathing quickened. She could feel Kate's hand gliding softly up her neck, thumb reaching up to caress her cheek. Her eyes sprang open, shocked at herself. Hand shaking, she loaded up her brush with toothpaste and slowly brushed her teeth. She had no idea if Kate was interested. She'd not seen anything to indicate Kate was more than a friend. And Kate was a subordinate: a colleague. Caroline needed to get a grip.
Authors' Note: We want to thank our faithful readers and our generous reviewers for all your support and interest in this fic. It came about because we wanted to examine Caroline's statement to Michael Bloody Dobson that she and Kate had a "fling". Was that afternoon we saw in canon really their first time together? We know this has been a slow burn to get to our answer to that question and we thank you for coming along with us. We promise lots more fun to come. Dis-Moi and KatieDingo