"Were you here all night?" Josh glanced around the storage room, which was now in complete disarray, as Donna fluttered around in the mayhem.
"What time is it?" She took the coffee he was holding and took a large drink of it before handing it back to him without preamble.
"It's 7:30. I already dropped Audrey off at school."
She stopped dead in her tracks. "You didn't let her wear that princess dress and rain boots again, did you?"
"No," Josh looked away.
"Joshua! Do not mess with me this morning," she stated somewhat spastically, pointing her finger at him.
"It was one time, Donna! She wanted to wear the dress and it really wasn't worth the fight. And it was raining. It wasn't that bad."
"This is why I'm in charge of shopping," she told him as she opened the top of another box.
"She's in that outfit you bought her last month. The stirrup pants and that sweater with the hearts on it."
"Shoes?"
"Pink tennies," he said with all the confidence in the world. Really, he'd just remembered what Donna had put together the last time Audrey wore the shirt in question. "I've got it all under control, Donna."
"Well that must be nice for you!" she rattled off, sounding perhaps more high strung than he'd ever seen her.
Josh stood idly by as Donna continued on a tirade about how he'd sucked her into a life of crime, mildly amused at her rambling, before stepping into the corridor.
"This is the woman I'm raising my child with," he shook his head and muttered with a smile as he entered the hallway, almost bumping into Sam.
"Donna's like, two, three days away from unspooling. It's kinda funny to watch but I've got to make sure she gets some sleep before she hurts herself."
"She's in a file room! How on earth is she going to get hurt?"
"I dunno, but it's Donna. It could happen. Audrey unspooled this morning over her lunch box being lost. There were tears, accusations, and one of us needed a time out."
"Which one?"
Josh's eyebrows shot up. "I'm, uh not going to dignify that with a response. But I finally found the lunchbox and then when that was finally over she tripped going out the door and skinned her knee and the tears started all over again."
"You've completely lost me," Sam admitted. "How does this relate to Donna?"
"Audrey came unraveled because she didn't get enough sleep last night and those two are cut from the same cloth. Sleep is important, Sam."
"Good Morning, Gentlemen," Ainsley greeted them as she rounded the corner. "Josh, I was looking for Donna. Might you know her location?"
"Store room," Josh nodded to the doorway. "Prepare yourself, Ainsley. It's every woman for herself in there."
OoOoOoO
"This looks great, Josh," President Bartlet removed his glasses after reading the memo Josh had presented him.
"Thank you, sir."
"I just have one question," The President continued.
"And what would that be, Mr. President?"
"What exactly is this supposed to be?" The President smirked and held up his memo, revealing a green and purple scribble drawing on the back, accompanied by a wide variety of princess stickers.
"Oh, God," Josh moaned, mortified.
"The question is not rhetorical, Josh," the President persisted, ever amused by the Deputy Chief of Staff's antics.
Josh gulped. "That, uh, that appears to be a drawing of Donna's roommate's cat and some princess stickers… sir."
President Bartlet looked at the paper once again. "Ah, yes. I see the tail and the ears now."
Leo glanced at the President's paper. "Sure. A cat. I can see that." He then flipped his own memo over. "I think I have a car on mine."
Josh's eyebrow's raised as he leaned over to look at the second piece of Audrey's art.
"Ahhh," Josh hesitated, "Actually, I think that's a butterfly."
Leo turned the paper upside down and stared at it for a moment before looking up to Josh again. "Well kid, I think it's safe to say she gets her art skills from you."
Josh let out a genuine chuckle at that.
"That's alright," President Bartlet continued, placing his memo on the Resolute Desk and rounding the corner to his chair. "I heard through the grapevine that she once talked Toby into having a tea party. No easy feat, I'm sure. Not to worry, Josh. She's learning plenty of other fine traits from you."
"Thank you, sir," Josh replied honestly.
"And if you don't mind," President Bartlet continued with a smile, "I'll be keeping the artwork for the fridge in the residence. It was, after all, a gift."
OoOoOoO
"You wanted to talk to me about something before."
Donna glanced at him. He looked so handsome in his tuxedo. Well, she really thought he looked handsome all the time. But she couldn't think about that right now. She forced a weak smile. "Yeah...Listen...I was fixed up on a blind date a few nights ago.
She suddenly had his full attention. He leaned against the doorframe next to her desk, his body language barely concealing his sense of unease and anger.
"When?" He was racking his brain, trying to figure out if he'd missed something obvious.
"A few nights ago…" She really didn't want to get into the specifics of it.
Josh shifted his weight from side to side, looking increasingly uncomfortable as he tried to control himself amidst the rising internal hysteria. This isn't how this was supposed to go. He was in love with her, didn't she know that?!
"Ainsley fixed us up. He's a Republican lawyer working for Ways and Means but he was being transferred. And it turns out now... that he's on Government Oversight-"
"You can't see him anymore," he stated firmly.
" know that."
"You can't see him anymore," he stated again, an edge creeping into his voice.
"I know that."
"It was just that night?" He asked before he thought it through. He didn't want the details but he needed to know what had happened- if anything could become of this. In an effort to conceal his feelings and shield himself from hurt, he moved swiftly into political operative mode.
"Yeah," she began. But she couldn't lie to him. "No," she sighed. "We got together the next night again. We
shouldn't have.
Josh couldn't look at her. He'd lowered his eyes and channeled as much frustration as he could bear into finishing this conversation without making a scene in the bullpen. He fumbled angrily with the top button on his shirt, suddenly finding it hard to breathe. "Yeah." He bit back everything else he was feeling.
Donna, for her part, was terrified. Terrified that she'd ruined everything. "Look, when we got together the first time…"
Josh finally managed to meet her gaze. Disappointment, betrayal and hurt coursed through his veins, infusing into his voice. How could she? "You just thought he was with Ways and Means who I was battling on the estate tax."
"I'm sorry…" It wasn't enough. It wasn't even the beginning of the regret she felt.
"Did any reporters see you?" He was attempting to wall himself off.
"No." He'd never walled her off like this. She was struggling to reach him.
"The second night?"
"No."
Josh stared at her coldly. He'd never looked at her that way before. It almost broke her into pieces. "All right. You can go home."
She vaguely remembers telling him something work related as her eyes clouded and she watched him walk away, leaving her there. She jumped when he slammed the door to his office, quickly gathering her things as her bottom lip quivered. She had to get out of there.
OoOoOoO
Josh's mood only deteriorated as he played his conversation with Donna over and over in his mind. He'd left the office not long after he'd sent her home, cutting his meeting as short as possible and stalking home. He'd muttered a few words to his mother before she'd left and quietly checked in on Audrey, who was sleeping soundly, before returning to his brooding.
A date. She'd been on a date and he hadn't even realized it. And with his political rival, nonetheless! He felt betrayed on so many levels. Josh hadn't even realized he'd begun pacing, striding back and forth in his bedroom, running his hands aggressively through his hair as the panic rose inside of him. He was jealous, that was fairly obvious, but he redirected his feelings to anger. What kind of a stunt was she trying to pull- going out on a date with some gamer from Ways and Means? And why didn't she just tell him when she- "Oh, God," he muttered out loud, his face going completely blank as he slowly sunk to a seated position on the side of his bed. "Oh, God." It finally hit him. Donna hadn't come over after the date. Her nighttime ritual of sharing a dessert and life advice with Audrey was his never fail way of knowing she was safe and sound- and gomer-less. But it had failed him.
And that's when it hit him. The date had gone well. It had gone so well, in fact, that she was too occupied to stop by. So well that she'd seen him again the next night. And she hadn't stopped by with desert that night either.
Josh swore he felt his heart breaking. There was a physical pain in his chest and his breathing went shallow, turning into ragged gulps. It was his worst nightmare. The scenario he refused to acknowledge. What if Donna met someone and he lost her for good?
He didn't even know it was possible to mourn the loss of something he hadn't had, but in that moment, Josh Lyman was grieving for the woman he loved.
OoOoOoO
Josh was wide awake when his alarm went off. He'd spent the night staring at his ceiling, trying to make sense of the heartbreak he felt. He didn't know he could mourn a relationship he'd never officially had, but here he was nonetheless. And if he were honest with himself, he would have acknowledged that he and Donna did have something- title or not. But he couldn't go down that road. It just hurt too much.
He blankly went through the motions of getting himself ready for the day, taking a deep breath and forcing a smile as he let himself in to Audrey's room to get her up and going for the day.
He sat softly on the side of her toddler bed and brushed her curls out of her eyes as she slept soundly. "Time to wake up," he tried his best to wake her gently. "Audrey?"
She grumbled softly and kicked around a bit, pulling Walter the bunny a little closer but never waking up. Josh sighed. It was typical for her, and for him as well, but he just didn't have the energy to fight it today.
"Audrey, please wake up," he tried again a little louder.
Audrey blinked slowly and studied him closely under heavy lids before rubbing her eyes and moving groggily to crawl into his lap.
"Good morning," he kissed the top of her head. Spending time with Audrey could always better his mood, but this morning he was particularly comforted by her presence.
"What's wrong, Daddy?" She leaned her head against his chest.
"What do you mean?" He feigned ignorance, shielding her from his internal torment.
"You're sad, Daddy." She gently touched the side of his face.
He pulled her a little closer. "How could I be sad when I have you, Shortcake?" He made sure his voice was breezy as he stood up with her, walking to the kitchen and rooting around the cupboard. "Bagel or cereal?" He asked, still holding her.
"Donna makes me dippy eggs," Audrey stated with a pout. "I want dippy eggs."
Josh sighed. With the way he'd left things the night before, he was fairly certain that they wouldn't be seeing Donna for their normal morning routine. He was terrified that suddenly everything had changed. But he didn't have the heart to explain that to Audrey. "Well, let's try something else this morning," Josh pulled out a box of cereal and was rooting around for a bowl when he heard a soft knock on his door.
She was there, on his front mat, with a timid look on her face. It was a far cry from letting herself in and taking over like she did every other morning, but it was something. He was beyond relieved to see her.
Audrey reached out to Donna, who took her as Josh opened the door to let her inside.
Donna's eyes moved to the floor as the two stood in heavy silence.
"I've gotta get going," Josh announced, clearing his throat a bit. "Senior Staff in thirty minutes."
"Right," Donna confirmed.
"Thanks for, uh, coming by to help with her this morning."
Donna nodded her acknowledgment of his statement and licked her lips. It never even occurred to her to consider not showing up to take Audrey to school. "Of course," she almost whispered, rubbing Audrey's back. The long term effects of he actions and the seriousness of their conversation the night before were really starting to sink in.