AN: Slight spoilers for SW:TLJ.
"If you love me let me go
If you love me let me go
'Cause these words are knives that often leave scars
The fear of falling apart
And truth be told, I never was yours
The fear, the fear of falling apart
Oh, this is the beat of my heart, this is the beat of my heart."
- This is Gospel, Panic! at the Disco
He senses her before he sees her, of course. An intangible thread connecting them from what place he cannot remember, but once present has been an undeniable force. Rey had not mentioned she would come to him, so her presence is unexpected – an immense surprise of a caliber he cannot quite define.
Understanding she will soon arrive, Ben rushes to prepare. He must see her before anyone else does. He cannot imagine that horrible Hux glimpsing her, touching her, or otherwise being involved with her before he has a chance…
A chance to what?
His subconscious pings sharply at him.
Ignoring his latest internal dilemma, Ben arrives at the deck. Her pod is moved towards him and he motions to receive it in a private loading bay. No one is going to spoil this moment for him…for them. And, as it occurs to him belatedly, he wishes to see her beyond the view of others. Locking the door behind him, he is reminded of a similar situation at a time that feels like years ago.
Only now…
Everything is different.
Her eyes are closed beneath the glass. He can just see the curve of her cheek below the condensation. It is a face he has memorized, but now, up close, is engrained in his soul. Her breath comes quicker. Her heart beats faster. These are the details he can sense when they are not separated by the stars.
I knew you were awake.
Her lips quirk in the briefest of smiles.
If they weren't on a destroyer, if Snoke wasn't waiting for them, if they had been connected earlier… What would their futures have been? And what could a future with Rey look like? Could she lead him back? Could she help him find the useless redemption he never thought he wanted?
Holding his breath, Ben pushes a button, and the glass between them disappears.
Removing his glove, he reaches down. Unable to stop himself, he caresses her cheek. He waits for her to react. When her eyes open and she stares up at him, lips slightly parted, he feels himself bending down, when a tug comes from inside the ship. They have been summoned.
Righting himself and forgetting his hand is still bare, he reaches to help her, startling at the connection when their fingers touch.
And then reality snaps in.
The handcuffs go on her wrists before he realizes what he's doing. Kylo is once again in control.